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101 Uses for an AOL CD? 100

Richard C asks: "I've just seen, for the first time, the newest AOL advert on UK television. One section depicts a man phoning AOL to ask for a free CD. As he speaks, he picks up his coffee mug, to which an AOL CD is stuck - he's been using it as a coaster. "Oh, don't worry - I've already got one" he adds. The irony of this amused me, to say the least, thought probably not in the way AOL intended. In any case, and in the true '101 uses for a dead cat' style, I thought it would be amusing (if not productive) to ask the Slashdot readership for their '101 uses for an AOL CD'. Be imaginative!"
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101 Uses for an AOL CD?

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  • Idea (Score:5, Funny)

    by Konster ( 252488 ) on Monday December 09, 2002 @02:05AM (#4842218)
    Send them to Alan Ralsky !
    • Ideas (Score:3, Interesting)

      by roseblood ( 631824 )
      Break them up, use the glittery foil parts to make a nice fine glittry dust that your female friends can use in their hair (don't ask.)

      You can make an array of them, put them inside a reflecting telescope, and adjust them each at the optimal angle and create a self correcting mirror for the ultimate telescope.

      Spin them like coins, or mount them to some rotary motor, and bounce lasers off of them for an interesting show.

      Weave them through the spokes in your bike tires for extra saftey at night (think reflectors.)

      Cover your walls with these. No more pesky problems with the IR remote not working in THAT corner of the room (don't we all have this problem somewhere in our home?)

      While the wall is covered with these things, a little wattage lightbulb will go along way for illumination.

      With all that reflecting going on you can open up a photo studio.

      Throw them, and if someone asks you what you're up to, tell'm you've found a way to get AOL to launch with 100% reliability.

      Line the inside of a paraobilic dish with these and run a dark water carrying pipe through the focus. Solar water heater. (Maybe use the steam to drive a turbine, and get some power as well as hot H2O.)

      If you're being tailgated, use them to blind the drivers behind you, he'll never notice the breaklights. Start thinking about what color you would like the tailgater to paint your car :).

      Throw them out the sunroof if your car is already the right color. 65MPH CD-ROM Shiruken will work wonders on their paintjob and windshield.

      Use the 800 number on the package and demand a copy of the AOL client that works with your non-M$ operating system. (C-64s didn't have CDRoms..too bad.)
      • Re:Ideas (Score:3, Funny)

        by roseblood ( 631824 )
        Have a friend throw them into the air everytime you shout "PULL!" and open fire.

        Glue them to the rims of your ghetto-ride.

        Stack them in bulk (think a few hundred) and slap them on the ends of a metal bar and start bench-pressing.

        Line your roof with these. Cut your cooling costs by 80% for those in the sun-belt. Reflect sunlight into your home and save on lighting. Relfect sinlight onto a dark bit of metal and enjoy the no-cost no-noise heating system.

        Break them up into bits and make a disco-ball.

        Use the left-over bits and make a tasteful [yeah right] mosaic.
      • Install one in every light socket behind the bulbs - every bulb in the house is now a spotlight.

        Make a suit of armor out of them and confidently proclaim you've invented the new police tool for the 22nd century - the laser proof vest!

        Attach them to every road-side post and save a few lives - high intensity reflectors!

        While we're at it . . . put them on the outside of all military ground-vehicles. Those damned laser-guided bombs will be so confused by the hundreds of laser spots reflected by the disks!

        Can you say Juggle?

        Make a stack of 1000, replace axle on car with stack of 1000. Instant steam roller.

        Cool hub-caps for that radio-flyer.
      • Re:Ideas (Score:3, Interesting)

        by jafuser ( 112236 )
        C-64s didn't have CDRoms
        Fact of the day: C-64's had an online service called Q-Link, which later closed down and was reopened for windows computers as AOL.
      • Break them up, use the glittery foil parts to make a nice fine glittry dust that your female friends can use in their hair
        Female friends? What are those?
    • Better yet, put them in a brown paper bag, set it alight and leave it on his front doorstep.
  • Flower pot! (Score:4, Funny)

    by Thalin ( 130318 ) on Monday December 09, 2002 @02:06AM (#4842221) Homepage
    Most interesting one I've ever heard of...get a blowtorch and melt an even ring in the middle so it droops down, let it cool, and you have a flower pot. It even has a hole in the middle for drainage. :)

    I'm sure it takes a while to perfect the art of flower-pot-making, but hey...we all have plenty to practice on, right?

  • Indeed! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Wrexen ( 151642 ) on Monday December 09, 2002 @02:07AM (#4842226) Homepage
    I'm sure this hasn't been covered [spiritone.com] by people who want to make fun [lunkker.net] of AOL [aol.com]'s CD spamming policies. In fact, [joke-archives.com] I'm sure using a major search engine [google.com] would fail [geocities.com] to produce any results [google.com]
  • Get a stack of about 25 or so, and fling them rapid fire at your enemy (or the guy in the next cube... same thing...). I ususally miss with about half of them, but the ones that hit can hurt (I tend to throw them so hard that they occasionally break if they hit the wall).
  • but I just throw them away...

    After releasing all my years of pent up anger on them with a heavy, blunt object.
  • by Anonymous Coward
    See also, how to beat a dead horse [goenglish.com]
  • by Kaz Riprock ( 590115 ) on Monday December 09, 2002 @02:12AM (#4842249)

    Here are a few uses:

    --Suit of Armor, Shield, Sword, and Helmet [mit.edu]

    --Scare Grackles [cornell.edu] from your bird feeder for cardinals [ziffdavisinternet.com]

    --Robot wheels [robots.org]

    --Microwaveable dish [physics.ubc.ca]
  • by PD ( 9577 ) <slashdotlinux@pdrap.org> on Monday December 09, 2002 @02:12AM (#4842251) Homepage Journal
    1. Coasters
    2. Microwave for a few seconds to create new and interesting abstract art pieces.
    3. Eclipse viewer
    4. Signal mirror when you are lost in the woods
    5. Y'know when you're driving and some creep right behind you has their brights on? Use the shiny side to send their light right back at them
    6. Take some string, some cork, some glue, and an even number of CDs : Yo-Yo
    7. String up a bunch of them together and give them to a small child to keep them entertained.
    8. Glue as many as you can to a black body suit and go to the next holloween party as a disco ball.
    9. Bookmark for any hardbound book.
    10. Frisbees for children or expert frisbee throwers.
    11. With two of them you can make Elton John sized mirror shades.
    12. Balance a table with uneven legs
    13. Give your parakeet a friend
    14. Practice throwing stars for young ninjas.
    15. Throwing small pieces of pottery
    16. At work, keep the bathroom key in an easy to find location by attaching it to a CD.
    17. Astonomy: Glue two halves of a sphere to both sides of a tennis ball and model Saturn.
    18. Practice skipping stones indoors.
    19. Glue it to your pet mouse so it doesn't chew on an injured leg
    20. Wind chimes
    21. Christmas tree ornaments.
    22. Make your own platinum album
    23. Shields for your GI Joes
    24. The AOL Mini-CD would also work as part of a lance for him
    25. ...Or make a really strange hat.
    26. Vanity mirror for Barbie
    27. Make your Gi Joe's stand up properly
    28. Glue them to the outside of your house and bounce all of the sunlight off. Cut your cooling costs
    29. They say that there is no intelligent life out there. Glue them to a 4x8 board, grab a xylophone, and start signaling.
    30. Tape a few strategically to the walls of your house so that no matter where you are you can us the remote control.
    31. Glue one to your computer monitor so you can see whose behind you.
    32. Give them to your kid when they have to make a diarama of the final scenes of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. (Think of the rotating knives)
    33. At your next party, give every guest their own personal tray of oe'deuvres.
    34. Get four of them and jack up your hot wheels.
    35. Diarama idea #2 : The Pit and the Pendulum
    36. Kill time by working out the Towers of Hanoi problem
    37. Nueveau wall paper.
    38. Snow shoes for dogs.
    39. Bicycle reflectors.
    40. Roadside and driveway reflectors.
    41. Laser defraction grating material for experiments.
    42. Toaster demonstrations.
    43. Put one behind each christmas light on your outdoors string of lights.
    44. Large fender washers
    45. Edward CD hands
    46. Replace those old playing cards on the bike as noise makers against the spokes.
    47. Furniture coasters
    48. Solar mirror for concentrating heat into a fresnel lens solar oven
    49. Glue several together into a parabolic shape for spy listening device
    50. Same as above for satellite dishes
    51. Make a house for the fish in your aquarium.
    52. Collect thousands and make an artifical reef.
    53. Use two for your snow boarding chicken
    54. Fishing lures for marlin
    55. Jack up your roller skates
    56. Tie some to strings and attach them in front ot the air conditioner vent. Watch them dance.
    57. Experts estimate that it would take about 10 to 12 of them to make a skeet pidgeon.
    58. Make a grinding wheel for your pocket knife.
    59. Add some straw between two of them and your pets can work out with you.
    60. New For Christmas:The CD ROM Christmas Tree
    61. This is for Windows 98 CD's, but we can do the same with AOL CDs: Launch Win98
    62. Use a hot knife to carefully fold them into various shapes. I'd like to see the platonic solids, myself.
    63. A reader named Kevin pointed out that they make great candle holders. Why didn't I think of that? (6-10-02)
    64. Another reader suggests taking six of them and glueing them together to form a box. Might be tricky, this one.
    65. They also suggest cutting them in half to form the legs of a rocking chair for dolls or stuffed animals.
    66. And the very obvious Disco Ball, which I only have alluded to as a halloween costume.
    67. New on 10-12-02: Get an old satellite dish (big one) line the dish with them point it at the sun and you have one hell of a cigarette lighter. This would probably do a lot of damage to my pipe.
    68. Or have the focused energy hit a metal tube to heat water. Boy, that would save on the electric bill, wouldn't it? Great ideas.
    69. Another suggestion for the upcomming holiday parties. Dan wrote in:"If you have helium balloons but you don't want them to be sideways on your ceiling during aparty, simply attach a CD to the end of them. Take some rope and tie it around the end of the balloon. Then attach the other end of the rope to the CD. Make sure the rope is long enough to go all the way down to the ground. Not only will the CD's act as weights but will create a nicerainbow effect on your ceiling to make the party even more spectacular."
    70. New on 12-2-02: Replacement "patty stacker" dividers!
  • Hollywood Costume! (Score:2, Interesting)

    by DavidYaw ( 447706 )
    Seriously... I remember watching a made for TV movie, an adaptation of Jack and the Beanstalk, and the giant's vest/armor was made of CDs. They had been painted brown, so it wasn't obvious, and it wasn't possible to recognise any text printed on the CDs, but it wasn't a flat brown, so it probably was actual printed CDs (as opposed to plain white blanks)
  • When you can microwave them for a fireworks show
  • I think a while back there was a web site that was going to start collection of aol cd's until they got a nice amount and then they were going to go to aol HQ and toss them at the front door :)

    I heard about people using them for target practice :)

    Anyways, here's a few I remember
    * Melt them down and make computer chips
    * Break them into 4's and tile your pool
    * Refills for Nerf gun shooters
    * Break it into little pentagons and Viola!Instant guitar string plucker
    * Nija Stars

    Got those from some web site a while ago :)

  • CD soup! (Score:4, Funny)

    by 3-State Bit ( 225583 ) on Monday December 09, 2002 @02:30AM (#4842294)
    One of my favorite things to do with CD's after I don't need them any more is to make the lovely soup in the following recipe (it's a kind of minestrone).
    CD Soup
    Ingredients:
    4cupsvegetable soup stock
    2 clean, discardable CDs, preferably newish (unused AOL CD's are perfect!)
    2(14.5 ounce) cansstewed tomatoes
    1largepotato, cubed
    1onion, chopped
    2stalkscelery, chopped
    2carrots, chopped
    1large headcabbage, finely chopped
    2tablespoonsItalian seasoning
    1(15 ounce) cankidney beans
    3cupsfresh corn kernals
    1largezucchini, sliced
    1cupuncooked orzo pasta
    salt and pepper to taste

    Preparation:
    1. In a large soup pot combine the vegetable stock, the undrained tomatoes, potato, onion, celery, carrot, cabbage and Italian seasoning. Bring to a boil and reduce heat. Simmer for about 15 minutes.
    2. Stir in the beans, corn, zucchini and pasta; simmer for 10 to 15 more minutes until the vegetables are tender. Kill heat, add CDs and stir vigorously for about three minutes.
    Allow to set for five minutes.

    Season with salt and pepper.
    Note: The CD's are not edible.
    • But then you have to worry about all that AOL garbage you're ingesting, and how it could affect your love life, and ...... welll, I think not
  • This has got to be the all time lamest slashdot story I have ever seen posted. I don't need to waste my time thinking about bashing AOL install CDs any more then I need to read the install manual for Windows. Cliff, the poster of this story, should be violently fired.
  • by redshift-systems ( 622407 ) on Monday December 09, 2002 @02:45AM (#4842327)
    Simply attach an AOL cd to the neck of your boring old pet lizard, and voila! you have a perfectly good frilled-neck lizard. (For all you non-australians out there, a frilled neck lizard is a native australian reptile, and a tasty treat for aboriginals in the aussie outback). mmmmmmmmmm frills.
  • Or... (Score:4, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday December 09, 2002 @02:48AM (#4842334)
    You could install AOL...

    ...101 times!

  • by tchdab1 ( 164848 ) on Monday December 09, 2002 @03:01AM (#4842364) Homepage
    Here in Berkeley there's an Art car running around plated in CDs, shiny side out, so the car looks like it's got fish-scale skin. Of course you can't tell what kind of CDs they are since the labels are on the other side, but you gotta believe AOL provided a lot of the material.
  • by AndyAMPohl ( 573700 ) on Monday December 09, 2002 @03:14AM (#4842402)
    Were when AOL came on floppies (and I still used floppies). I'd just place a new label on top of the AOL label, erase its contents, and voila! An empty disk! I think I had at least half a dozen of them. They must have been worth at least a dollar combined. I felt like I was really ripping them off.

    Andy
  • Collect them! (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Gregory S Patterson ( 567055 ) on Monday December 09, 2002 @03:16AM (#4842407)
    Yes, I collect AOL CD [geocities.com], as do a lot of other people [yahoo.com]. It's truly amazing how many different styles and variations there are of these things (it's in the thousands). I feel like they've become icons of a generation.

    ~GP
  • best use ever (Score:4, Insightful)

    by imr ( 106517 ) on Monday December 09, 2002 @03:42AM (#4842469)
    (you need to be mr aol to do this one)
    1/ dont have the next millions of cds made.
    2/ dont send them to anyone.
    3/ give the saved money to a charity
    4/ make some kind of announcement where you say that in one shot you (1)reduced pollution, (2)realized you were bothering people with useless marketing, (3)did something usefull with that otherwise wasted money.
    5/ have a merry christmas once in your lifetime.
  • by skinfitz ( 564041 ) on Monday December 09, 2002 @03:59AM (#4842526) Journal
    Use a slightly different spelling of your name (or insert a random letter as a middle initial) whenever you sugn up for things like game company loyalty cards etc. ensure that you tick the "do not spam me" box on the form. Keep a record of which spelling you used where.

    Wait for the obligatory AOL CD to come through the door with the misspelling, look up who supplied it, then sue them under the UK Data Protection Act 1984 law for disclosing your information.
  • i don't know what to do with the cd's anymore, i've got enough coasters for all my beers, but the new metal tins they send out are great for rolling ... um ... cigarettes.
  • CD Rack (Score:3, Interesting)

    by bobibleyboo ( 13303 ) on Monday December 09, 2002 @04:09AM (#4842560)
    One of my friends built a cd rack out of them by
    gluing a bunch of them together. it lookes kinda like this
    __
    |__|
    |__|
    |__|
    |__|
    _|__|_
    |____|
    You can stack the CD's in it vretically it holds
    about 50 jewl cases! I will post a pic if I can get one.
  • here is a short list (Score:3, Informative)

    by jon787 ( 512497 ) on Monday December 09, 2002 @04:29AM (#4842619) Homepage Journal
  • 1.) Hang 1 from the ceiling of your garage, to give you an idea of how far you have to drive in to park. Make sure that your car is just barely in the garage, & then hang the cd to just barely touch the windshield or other part of the car. When you drive in next time, & barely touch it, you'll know that you are in just the right amount.

    2.) String a bunch of them to make venetian blinds or whatever.

    3.) Depending on the type of plastic, I wonder if it would be good to use as a scraper for when you're doing the dishes.

    I think that the ninja star idea was 1 of the best ideas.
    • You need a scraper to do your dishes !?! I'd do them a little more often if I were you 8o)
      • Actually, if you were me, then you'd do them less often, kind of like laundry. ;^) That's why I never encourage people to be like me! ;^) For what it's worth, I'd never use a CD to scrape my dishes, for a couple of reasons.

        When I eat, I eat very cleanly. The only things on the plate are dried up sauces, bones, etc. I don't leave scraps.

        A CD seems like a very awkward thing to use to scrape.
        The whole suggestion was just a brainstorm idea, kind of like the venetian blinds idea. I'd like to try it just find fun & creative exercise, but I'd never use it for something permanent.

  • by DA-MAN ( 17442 )
    Oh My God, this is probably the first slashdot article in a while without the obligatory "In Soviet Russa..." post.

    I feel somewhat obliged to say that In Soviet Russia, AOL CD's have 101 uses for you!
  • * Fractured disks can be pumped through plumbing system to increase efficiency
    * Placing cd's underneath carpet underlay convinces worried dogs that carpet is no longer full of bees
    * Silver coating can be used to protect cat's triangular head from damage during megalomania
    * Can be used as solid foundation for new church
    * Can be used to turn a priest into a bishop, and once transformation is complete, protects bishop's stability during Christ-enduced rotation
    * Melted plastic body excellent for detection and eventual destruction of primitive shellfish
    * Large groups (20+) can be stapled together and fired to re-align course of earth-bound asteroid

  • The Cleansing Ritual for AOL CDs

    From the earliest days of people recieving AOL CDs in the mail, there has been a need to cleanse these foul devices of their evil, and this is the only true way of excorcising the beast from the essentially innocent soul of the acryllic disk.

    What you will need for this ritual:
    1 (or more) AOL CD
    1 Holy Urn of Isanël Umâhar of the proper diameter to fit a CD (suficiently sized and pre-blessed mixing bowl may be substituted)
    1 (or more, proportionat to the number of CDs) bottle of holy water (religion of blessing entirely by choice of the person perfoming the cleansing)
    1 Unholy Priestess (may be substituted by a suficiently versed hooker, or the pink ranger)
    1 wooden alter (may be substituted by cheap IKEA knockoff microwave shelf)
    1 2.4ghz radio frequency cooking device (microwave oven)

    making sure the microwave is sitting on the altar, first place the CD into the Urn, fill the Urn with the holy water, while having the Unholy Priestess dance around the chanting the words "pa limat wi vuim irumo uv tajelac" five times, while the Unholy Priestess is chanting, place the Urn within the microwave, and with the chant "Ë lamacha dra drui sucud vuim uv taisuk", set the microwave for 1 minute and press "Start".
    Afterwards do as you will with the Unholy Priestess.
  • Actual use (Score:2, Informative)

    by weylin ( 174709 )
    My quasi-father-in-law hangs CDs from trees in his garden. They scare away some birds.
    • Some birds are scared away, hugh?

      Obviously, the ones that already have a pile of disks are scared away, while the birds without are not.
  • As a Lampshade (Score:3, Interesting)

    by frAme57 ( 145879 ) <snakefeet@gmai[ ]om ['l.c' in gap]> on Monday December 09, 2002 @08:47AM (#4843110) Homepage
    No, seriously. I have a flourescent table lamp that I made from a dead CD-ROM, an off-the-shelf 6" flourescent light and a seven inch tall stack of various CDs, many of which were AOL discs.

    WIth a drill press and forstner bits I opened up the center hole to about 1-1/2", then epoxied the stack of CDs together. I put the lamp's ballast inside the CD-ROM case and mounted the light tube atop the case in a nicely machined piece of aluminum that I had pulled from a betamax machine.

    So the flourescent tube sits vertically in a stack of CDs and its light refracts radially out of the CDs through the plastic and between the foil layers - a very cool effect.

    I don't have a picture of the CD lamp online but there is a picture of a lamp made from a halogen bulb and four old sound cards here [savannahnow.com]. Just don't take anything said in the article seriously.

  • Get a few million of them and create a companion for the Great Wall - Spell out "AOL SUCKS!" large enough to be seen from space.
  • If you want to build something with them, but don't have enough, just call AOL. I'm not sure if they still will, but not too long ago I was able to get a large box full of a few hundred aol CD's.
  • by Mr. Slippery ( 47854 ) <.tms. .at. .infamous.net.> on Monday December 09, 2002 @10:17AM (#4843405) Homepage

    Send them to GreenDisk [greendisk.com] for recycling.

  • I always throw em in the microwwave for about 5 -10 secs (5 sec intervals) and they get this nice crackly texture from the foil not getting along with those pesky microwaves and they make pretty coasters for you to use :)
  • This one came out of necessity after a North Dakota sleet storm. The only thing I had in the car the had a hard edge was an AOL CD. It worked much better after breaking it in two pieces to get a straight edge.

    The only reason I had the disk is that the case work as replacement DVD case when the plastic center-hole prongs break. Just pull out the AOL sheet out of the outer clear plasic, clean off the sticker (easier said than done), and replace with DVDs jacket artwork.
  • A CD hanging from the rear view mirror (instead of or in addition to a cardboard pine tree air freshener or dice) seemed all the rage while I was in Taxco, Guerrero, Mexico in the summer of 2001. Of course, I saw the decorations on more cumbis than cars :-). (A cumbi in Taxco is a VW van with the side door and seats removed, benches installed, shoe polish proclaiming the destinations on the windshield, and a $0.30 fare to ride wherever it happens to go.)
  • 2 Birds (Score:3, Funny)

    by stinkydog ( 191778 ) <sd@stCOWrangedog.net minus herbivore> on Monday December 09, 2002 @12:46PM (#4844371) Homepage
    Stuff them into body bags and dump them on Phillip Morris's front step.

    SD
  • I've used them (Score:2, Informative)

    by kommakazi ( 610098 )
    I've personally used them as coasters (who hasn't..), to make ninja stars (cut them to make thme spikey, they hurt! Be sure to reinforce with some tape as they break easily.), and I have such a vast collection I managed to cover the ceiling in my room with them, shiney side down. I stuck them all up there with that sticky tack stuff...it looks cool.
  • Only one or two possibilities exist here. Real uses or Joke uses. For a real use: I'd imagine a stack of several hundred coupled with a electrolytic sandwich between each CD would definately be able to store a whopping great charge for all you people in the boombox-on-wheels car stereo crowd. Just build a housing. For a Joke use: Create a space-based rail gun and fire AOL CD's painted with ferro-magnetic paint out at 800mph. Save the Earth from Invading Invaders. or was that vice versa?
  • Cover your ceiling with them [gregcorp.com]. All you need is a simple thumbtack. I'm currently up to about 250.
  • ... connect to AOL

  • in survival kits so you can signal planes.

    as a pocket mirror

    my friend has a baka idea about building houses with them (don't ask me it involves pegs and interlocking or somthing)

    in art ^__^ (done this myself)

    as a paint pallette, it has it's own hole to stabalize it on your hand even.
  • Send them to the guys at "No More AOL CDs.com" [nomoreaolcds.com]". When they get enough, they'll send them back to AOL! "We represent all who are sick of receiving unwanted AOL cds. By sending us your unwanted AOL, Netscape, or CompuServe cds, you can help us make a statement. Once we have 1,000,000 collected, we will make our quest across America to give them all back to their rightful owner, AOL and say "stop doing this". Don't throw them away or get mad, send'em to us and we'll all end this wasteful practice while sharing a laugh or two."
  • Well, I Was Talking To Shiny The Other Day And He Said To Use em' For Miget Cock-Rings Sick huh???

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