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Advice You Would Give to Your 12 Year-Old Self?
Posted by
Cliff
on Fri Feb 21, 2003 01:48 PM
from the hindsight-is-20/20-but-you-already-knew-that dept.
from the hindsight-is-20/20-but-you-already-knew-that dept.
urbazewski asks: "If you could send a message back to your nerdy
unpopular 12 year old self, what would you say? I've been asking this one for several years, and the replies sound suspiciously like the lame advice I got from adults at that age ('just be yourself, dear'). The most creative answer was from an American-born Buddhist monk, who didn't think his 12 year old self would
listen to a message along the lines of 'Hey, what you're doing is kind of making things suck for me right now' --- he would send
a message to himself by adding extra lyrics to a song he really liked when he was in junior high school. I got the best replies from a large class at
UC Santa Cruz. The modal answer was 'Buy Microsoft.' About 7% of the class said 'Enjoy yourself in high school because college is really hard.' Another 7% said "Study harder in high school because college is really hard.' (The
best variant on that theme: 'Try to figure out what "studying" is'). In the hindsight-is-20/20 dept. there was a girl who said 'Do not date the
following people...' and then listed six names and a guy who said 'You know how you're thinking about trying to drive your dad's car? Don't!.' My personal favorite: 'You're a dork now, but don't worry, you'll be cool when
you're in college.'"
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advice (Score:5, Funny)
Re:advice (Score:5, Funny)
Cocacola.com would get you millions.
nike.com
reebok.com
Disney.com
just run down the Fortune 500 list back in 1991 and squat like a pro. Remember to put a "fan page" on each of them so the courts can't yank it.
"This si my coca Cola page! I LOVE COKE!
Herei s a pic of me drnking coke!!"
Parent
Re:advice = Paradox (Score:5, Funny)
Oh... and stay away from the airport ( especially the guy with the blonde wig and sunglasses )
Parent
no no.. (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
register? Domain name? WTF? (Score:5, Funny)
To which 12yr old me would say:
What the hell does register mean, and what is slashdot.org?
33yroldme: It is a website
12yroldme: What the hell is a website?
33yroldme: You know the internet.
12yroldme: What the hell is the internet?
33yroldme: A bunch of computers hooked up together to share information.
12yroldme: What the hell is a computer?
33yroldme: You know, a personal computer.
12yroldme: No, I have no idea what you are talking about.
33yroldme: It is a screen, like a TV, and you can do all kinds of things on it, like playing games.
12yroldme: Oh, in your house, like an Atari?
33yroldme: Yeah, sort of, but they are all over the world too.
12yroldme: Oh, you mean in the arcade like a Pac-Man machine? And that new game, Pole Position? That game is cool. It is so realistic! Or Joust, that game is fun because two people can play at once. I have only played it a couple of times because it is brand new. There is always a line for it.
33yroldme: Dude, nevermind. Have fun.
Parent
Advice to 12 year old self (Score:5, Funny)
or... (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
My advice to my 12-yr-old self? (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, that's right, kill yourself, you heard me.
I want to find out if a fundamental paradox really causes the universe to end! I mean, suicide is not my bag, but if I had the chance to take all of you with me...
Re:My advice to my 12-yr-old self? (Score:5, Interesting)
The you at age 12 would still exist, as one single event of a miltiple of you before you contacted yourself, none of which would be contacted.
If you did take your own advice (and...would you? I mean I'd tell myself to go fuck myself, personally) then, the you after the point just before you contacted yourself would be wiped out, quite possibly, but the you before you were contacted would still exist, and without the you from the future of that line in time, to pass the fututre message, you wouldn't do it.
In other words, you'd wipe out everything in one possible universe from the point of contact if you did commit suicide, but not before it, and it would still continue from the point where your message fails to appear as if nothing had happened, which of course is true unless you make the same decisions exactly as you did the first time round from that point onward, in that timeline, leading to you contacting yourself in the past, which is not guaranteed not least of which because of a universal cognisance of the event which took place leaving a dissonance in it's wake, spreading backward and outward, so that at least at some point you'd not comply, realising the stupidity of your behaviour and eventually boring yourself/ves of the repetition of the fundementally self-destructive non-beneficial act and get on with doing something more positive instead, tike putting the telly on or something.
Possibly.
Parent
Re:My advice to my 12-yr-old self? (Score:5, Funny)
I didn't think it was possible, but my brain has tied itself into several knots, and is now leaking out my nose.
Parent
My Message to 12-year old self: (Score:5, Funny)
Re:My Message to 12-year old self: (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Re:My Message to 12-year old self: (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Advice for my 12 year old self (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, and buy Cisco stock in 1998 and sell it in Jan 2000.
Period.
Hi.. (Score:5, Funny)
"Self, in 4 years you're going to meet a really nice girl at a party. This time guy some fucking condoms!"
easy (Score:5, Funny)
Save! (Score:5, Insightful)
Sadly, I don't have a time machine, so I'm on the "work until I'm 65" route.
-S
Re:Save! (Score:5, Insightful)
I'm trying to give this advice to all my friends who just got their first jobs out of college. Stop buying the new flashy toys, and start putting money away while you can (no real bills to eat up their paycheck). They'll have a lot more freedom later on.
Parent
Advise to myself as a 12 year old... (Score:5, Funny)
But, in order to accomplish that, you must ignore your evil best friend, Adam. He will bring you Warcraft II, which will consume an inordinate amount of your time and eventually lead you to Diablo and Starcraft. Which is like heroin to you.
In summary: Get away from high school and addictive Blizzard products.
Watch your links (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Watch your links (Score:5, Informative)
Parent
I'm Only Eleven... (Score:5, Funny)
Easiest response ever (Score:5, Insightful)
and: "Next Thursdays winning lotto numbers are:..."
-Matt
Re:Easiest response ever (Score:5, Interesting)
I read a study recently (I tried googling for it and couldn't find it) that basically tracked lottery winners over a five year period following their wins. It said that when they first recieved their money their overall happiness jumped a great deal, as described here [warwick.ac.uk]. It then tracked their happiness for the remaining five years.
The interesting part is that almost uniformally every single winner's happiness receded back to what it was before they won. It seems that everyone has a "base happiness" that cannot be altered by material things in the long term. I believe that everyone needs enough money for sustenance and comfort, and after that it's all vanity.
Parent
Hmmm (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, and I'd probably tell myself to go on that bike ride with katie, she might be a bit wierd but she's also damn hot, and that kind of thing doesn't happen as often as TV makes you think it will.
Re:Hmmm (Score:5, Funny)
How about: "Hey self, stop smoking so much dope. Your memory will be shot by the time you're 18"
Parent
Parents (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Parents (Score:5, Insightful)
"This is going to scare the shit out of you, and you'll probably think I'm the devil himself for telling you this, but EVERYTHING your parents ever tell you to do or not do is dead on the money. Your problems are not completely unique, and your parents have been there and know the easiest way out. ALWAYS take their advice. You've gotta make your own mistakes, but you can avoid the truly bibilical fuck ups if you just listen to your folks."
I can still remember the day this thought occured to me. I think I shuddered, fell out of my car, and went trembling into the fetal position.
Parent
Re:Parents (Score:5, Insightful)
Until the thought occurs to you independently, you won't believe it anyway.
It's wonderful to be one of those people that learns from other people mistakes, rather than taking the time to make them all yourself... but some things you seem to have to just figure out on your own.
My advice would generally be more "do things" rather than "avoid things". Oh, and don't worry about looking stupid and feeling self-conscious, do it anyway.
Parent
that girl (Score:5, Funny)
In all honesty, that's what I'd say. Rather shallow, I know.
The past is gone... (Score:5, Insightful)
If you don't like something about yourself, don't fret over it. Change it starting now.
Re:The past is gone... (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Re:The past is gone... (Score:5, Insightful)
In another post I said I wouldn't change anything -- and I wouldn't. But these are things I'd give as advice to generic twelve year olds in a similar position to myself at that age -- a nerdy kid who gets picked on because he's poor, weak, nerdy, and in a fanatical religion.
Become an independent thinker as soon as possible. A good part of your pain comes from the brainwashing of your religious youth. Read _Stranger in a Strange Land_ and _Job: A Comedy of Justice_ before you go to High School. I read them halfway through and they changed my life. Maybe reading them sooner would have prevented some high school pain.
Don't just give your friendship to anybody who is willing to take it. There is a perceived solidarity among those who are downtrodden, but some of those people are real low-lifes and will try to drag you down. It's not really true that the enemy of your enemy is your friend. Pick your friends carefully -- they have a profound influence on you.
Don't count on being lucky and not getting caught. There's nothing wrong with breaking some rules, but don't assume because you've never been caught you can't get caught. Don't get stupid. One mistake at the wrong time can change everything.
Don't confuse your hormones with genuine affection. She's not perfect. She's probably not even perfect for you.
Life is full of unique opportunities. You might die tomorrow. Take those opportunities when you can. Don't assume you're immortal and will have forever to chase those things down.
Parent
Do what the hell you want... (Score:5, Interesting)
Because all adults will tell you is what they wished _they_ had done.
So I says to myself, self... (Score:5, Funny)
1. Don't take algebra, there's no practical use for that stuff.
2. Do all the cocaine you can get your hands on. The eighties will be much more fun that way...
3. Rush out and get laid by the first girl who will do it.
That's a pretty good start...
Heh (Score:5, Funny)
In the future, you are going to write to your nerdy, unpopular self.
In the meantime, think of something witty, cuz this sucks!
Later!
Don't get too hung up on Star Wars... (Score:5, Funny)
Let your first girlfriend go... (Score:5, Insightful)
(actually, this is to my 16-year-old self)
12 is too young (Score:5, Insightful)
But a few years later, I have some advice that I would give to my younger self - and that I'm still trying to follow past 40:
1. it's far better to regret things that you've done than things that you didn't risk. (Okay, maybe this isn't the best advice for a teenager...)
2. your PE teacher is an idiot, but time spent on physical fitness is not wasted. Get to the gym. Lift weights. Run. You'll get back the time spent today in increased productivity for years to come.
My Advice (Score:5, Funny)
Listen, listen well (Score:5, Funny)
2) Don't, don't, don't think it'll be a good idea to use the dog clippers to trim the top of your head. You'll miss and need to make up some excuse that you were checking for 666.
3) Don't use silicone spray to lubricate the lawnmower. The gases are very flammable and you'll singe your lungs.
4) Have absolutely no moral dillemma about having fun with your girlfriend's hot little friend. Your girlfriend will dump you a week later for the SWAT sergeant.
5) Late at night, when everything is dark, do not blindly drink from the 1/2 gallon plastic jug in the back of the fridge. It will *look* like lemonade, but....
6) Have fun. Have lots of fun. Take lots of classes, even ones you don't need.
Find a guy named Bill Gates (Score:5, Funny)
10 undeniable truths to life, so listen up! (Score:5, Funny)
2. Sleep with everything that moves, knowing that as you make more money, the women get prettier. If you dont like the girls who like you, make more money!
3. STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY!
4. Under no circumstances ever consider marriage unless you reach 30 and make less than 150K a year. If you are younger and/or make more, your options for trim are too good to settle for just one chick regardless of what you look like.
5. Dont buy a Mac.
6. Just because you will love Java, doesn't mean you can ever do anything productive with it. Stick with C++ and dont be afraid of garbage collection and pointers.
7. Everyone you think is cool, will be washing your car, turning down your hotel bed, and bringing you meals in 20 years, if you refuse to be like them now.
8. Those big tits you love so much right now, will be hanging around her navel in 25 years. Learn to like the flat girls.
9. Once you make decent money, you will forget all that crap about the environment, compassion and helping others, so why waste your time now?
10. Everyone does it, anyone who says they dont is lying.
What about... (Score:5, Funny)
Note to future self (Score:5, Funny)
You won't be the first nerd to lose their virginity in their 20's.
You are not as weird as you think you are.
You are not as weird as Michael Jackson.
A good beating (Score:5, Funny)
Another challenge. (Score:5, Insightful)
What do you think you'd like your future self to tell you now?
You know all those dorks around you now? (Score:5, Insightful)
If you do that you'll discover that college professors ( at least the good ones) aren't authority figures. They're actually *teachers,* and are quite willing to be your friend as well. Even when things get rocky. Find the good ones and cultivate them.
You aren't really socially inept. You've matured early. This puts you about 20 to 30 years ahead of the curve. When you hit 40 or so people will suddenly think you're "cool" not because of any change in you, but because they've finally caught up. So don't sweat not fitting in with people who are, essentially, still savages.
KFG
Re:Advice (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Re:hrm.. (Score:5, Funny)
Parent