What's the Worst Technical Feature You've Used?

kooky45 asks: "In an effort to make our lives easier and more entertaining, technology designers pack more and more features into electronic devices, but often they're more nuisance than they're worth. An earlier article on LEDs discussed some of these. Another example is my Nokia 6320i mobile phone which has a back lit screen that drains the battery life at an alarming rate. When the phone is not in use the back light is off; if the battery starts to run low, it gives me regular warnings by beeping and turning the back light on! What other examples of designer stupidity have you seen?"

It will come up sooner or later...

[Daniel_Staal (609844)]

Clippy.

Re:It will come up sooner or later...

[Corpuscavernosa (996139)]

You actually used Clippy? Man, what a friggin' dork! ;)

Speaking of Microsoft...

[mollog (841386)]

Speaking of Microsoft (Clippy), back in the days of DOS 6.something (6.2 ?), when upgrading from a previous version of OS, if the Mircosoft installation program detected something besides a DOS partition, it would blithely inform you that it had detected something non-Mircosoft and it would take care of it for you!

That was a disappointment.

I lost a lot of work until I found the work-around.

Re:It will come up sooner or later...

[Jhon (241832)]

Clippy was bad... this predates it:

It may not be a "feature" I've intentionally used and it may not be the WORST, but it always gave me a chuckle WayBackWhen (tm) I'd turn on my PC without a keyboard plugged in:

Error: No keyboard present

Press F1 to continue, DEL to enter SETUP

Wonderful advice...

Re:It will come up sooner or later...

[Anonymous Coward]

My high school had a batch of computers that would regularly boot to some variant of "Error: No keyboard present. Press F1 to continue." In fact, it was so regular that all the students knew to just hit F1 on the darn-tooting-it-was-present keyboard. And it worked.

Re:It will come up sooner or later...

[d34thm0nk3y (653414)]

That is a good one. It reminds me of Logitech's web site. If for some reason you need to re-install your mouse driver because it is not working you can conveniently download it from their web site.

After the 30 minutes it takes to navigate the site using the tab key (since your mouse is not working) you get to their friendly download link, which uses some javascript or something to make a download button that can only be clicked on by a mouse. Brilliant!

Re:It will come up sooner or later...

[edwdig (47888)]

I once found the text strings stored in the BIOS of my 286. Not far from the standard "Keyboard error, press F1 to continue." message was "CPU not found. System halted."

I always wondered how they intended to display that message.

Re:It will come up sooner or later...

[Anonymous Coward]

Just a wild shot in the dark (actually it's not), but could it perhaps be the BIOS?

You must have been deliberately casting magic missile at the darkness, then. The BIOS is a program, stored in ROM, which allows other programs to quickly and easily interact with the system hardware at a high level. Being a program, it consists of sequences of CPU instructions, and you can't very well execute CPU instructions if you don't have a CPU...

Re:It will come up sooner or later...

[DragonWriter (970822)]

Office 2007.

They ever so helpfully rearanged everything. "Now how do I ..."

Most people I've known have really liked the new interface. And I'm not talking about Microsoft fans, either. Much cleaner and more intuitive.

I'm not MS fan, but the Office 2007 UI is about the last thing I'd bash them for.

Honda Stereo Security

[stoolpigeon (454276)]

My honda, and I think many others - have a security feature for the entertainment system. If the power is ever out to the unit, the owner must punch in a 4 digit code to turn it back on, after power is restored. If you forget the code, and don't have it written down somewhere - you can get it. You just need to remove the unit from the dash and call a dealer with a number written on the outside of it. This is not an easy process - and dealers will do it for you but it costs around $200 last time I checked. In other words - the only person who can easily get at the information necessary to the code is someone who already has the stereo out- like say a thief.

Re:Honda Stereo Security

[dpaton.net (199423)]

Or just call the dealer you bought the car from, give them the VIN, and they'll give you the code over the phone. I've been doing this off and on for a decade, and haven't had to give them anything else.

Re:Honda Stereo Security

[RealErmine (621439)]

You can also use Honda's online Owner Link [ahm-ownerlink.com] to store your radio code, unless you're afraid someone will hack your account and then steal your stereo. There's a special field for it and everything.

Re:Honda Stereo Security

[Some_Llama (763766)]

Clippy? (i.e. paperclip?)

Re:Honda Stereo Security

[LordEd (840443)]

In some newer GM vehicles, the door chimes and "possibly" some other features (some rumours have floated around about airbags, although I highly doubt it) are tied into the radio unit. If you want to upgrade to an aftermarket deck (such as an MP3 unit), you either need to have the radio unit installed in parallel in the trunk with a special wiring kit, or have a module installed that takes over that functionality. That module costs an extra $150, i think.

When I asked GM about the stupid design, they told me that they weren't sure if it was even technically possible to install an aftermarket deck, and that this is something that the majority of consumers want.

Microwave

[Wizworm (782799)]

I have a microwave that refuses to start cooking until it scrolls a 30 second message on a 1 line display.

I SO want to get out my jtag programmer

Re:Microwave

[daeg (828071)]

A vending machine in my building does something similar. There are no "out of product" lights, there's only a single line display. If you select something that's out, it scrolls "NO PRODUCT TO DISPENSE - PLEASE TRY ANOTHER PRODUCT OR CALL 1-800-XXX-XXXX FOR REFILLS - NO PRODUCT TO DISPENSE" one letter at a time. During which time you cannot select another product, get your change back, or do anything at all. Pressing any buttons helpfully resets it to scroll from the start.

Oy!

1-800-XXX-XXXX

[LunaticTippy (872397)]

I just called that number to complain about the vending machine being out of taco pellets. They were very helpful and understanding. They also have a website [covenanthouse.org]

Re:Microwave

[u8i9o0 (1057154)]

I have a GE above-the-stove microwave that not only won't let you cook until you set the date and time, but you can't even use the damn light on it until it's set.

I was going to mention something similar.

There's been a few blackouts lately and each time power comes back on, the display side-scrolls some text prompting to reset the time.

I actually use the time display on the unit (and the scrolling text is distracting) so that gets done fairly quickly.

But, who the hell thought it was important for a microwave to store the date?
For one thing, it never displays the date.
For another, it has no scheduling function and, even if it did, who keeps food in the microwave for longer than half a day (worst case: defrosting a turkey) anyway?

As a user, entering "010101" completes that step in the time reset. But as a programmer and engineer, this actually bothers me.

So, on the question of "What's the Worst Technical Feature You've Used?", I guess I 'use' the date feature to complete the reset protocol. But really, the date setting never actually gets used anywhere else so ... maybe I don't?

Anyway, I'm sure I've seen worse features but I just had to mention the microwave.

Re:Microwave

[YourMotherCalled (888364)]

But, who the hell thought it was important for a microwave to store the date?

Didn't you read the manual? Chickens cook differently in odd years than they do in even years.

Re:Microwave

[mph (7675)]

The hassle of resetting the date every time is widely compensated by that warm feeling you get when you notice that your microwave has adjusted the time on it's own...

Actually, that warm feeling is the door seals leaking.

LED

[Fallingcow (213461)]

I don't know about the LED thing.

I sometimes plug in my USB flash drive, which has a very bright blue LED on the end, just for the light.

PC Load Letter

[labalicious (844887)]

PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?

Re:PC Load Letter

[Nimey (114278)]

Paper Cartridge Load Letter. You need to reload your Laserjet with letter-size paper, as opposed to PC LOAD A4, which would need A4 paper.

You must have a /fancy/ printer, since it can display lower-case on its status display. Mine just says PC LOAD LETTER or 00 POWERSAVE.

There, destroyed the joke for you.

Similar - beeping

[oyenstikker (536040)]

My Motorola v260 beeps loudly ever few minutes when the battery is low. I know when it starts beeping I have another 12 hours. There is no way to shut off the beeping.

Get this...

[joto (134244)]

Gore-Tex in running shoes. The water will get in at the top of the shoe (as it is only 3cm high), and never get out, since Gore-Tex is watertight. Besides, when running, my feet sweat, so water will end up inside the shoe even if it isn't wet outside.

Handsfree with short cords. I still haven't found one that allows me to have my phone in my side pocket in my pants. And I still haven't found a bluetooth handsfree with traditional lanyard design.

DVD-covers. They are larger than CDs for no good reason.

Flatscreen TVs with grounded powerchords. Apparently they cause fires because the antenna is grounded too, only not to the same "ground".

I think that's it for now

Re:Get this...

[poot_rootbeer (188613)]

DVD-covers. They are larger than CDs for no good reason.

Except that they fit perfectly, 2 to a spot, in media storage gear originally designed to hold VHS tapes.

Remember the CD longboxes of the early and mid 1980s? Same thing. More than half of the packaging was unnecessary, but it allowed record stores to keep their CD inventory in the same big wooden bins they had been using for vinyl LPs previously.

Buttons will be pressed, you know...

[Keith Russell (4440)]

My first sub-brick-sized mobile phone was a Samsung flip phone. The "flip" section was designed to only cover the keypad, leaving the screen, menu nav keys, and send/end keys exposed at all times. It also had a key-guard that, by default, would automatically engage when the phone was closed. Clever, right? (Well, for its day, it was.)

There was only one problem: To disengage the key-guard, you had to hold down the always-exposed menu select button! Worse, if the key-guard was disengaged while the phone was closed, it wouldn't turn on again until you opened and re-closed the phone.

I don't know how many times I killed the key-guard as I leaned against a desk or something. Most of the time, I just ended up deep in some unexpected menu, but I recall at least two accidental phone calls initiated while the phone was in my pocket. Eventually, I got a case, and tucked some paper under the button area to make it harder to accidentally kill the key-guard.

Samsung must have gotten the hint, because my next phone didn't have any exposed keys when the flip was closed.

Digital vs. analog controls

[dreddnott (555950)]

Definitely digital controls for almost anything. I can't stand them.

If you're in your car and working the climate control, those controls are analog for a good reason. You can see what they're set to and change before you start the car. Stereo systems are another great example (quickly turning volume up/down, not having it reset all the time). Analog dials of all kinds also give you far better real-time feedback about a given signal (delta, etc.).

Re:Digital vs. analog controls

[Vector7 (2410)]

I totally agree. My pet-button-peeves:

Microwaves: I wish someone had the sense to build one with just a big knob to set the time, a small knob to set the power level (clicking to an off position if you just want to use the timer), and a big start/stop button. Put the timer on a logarithmic scale up to whatever the maximum sane length of time you might run a microwave for is (or use a continuous encoder with some acceleration programmed in the software), and read the value out on the display as you spin it.

Monitors: It'd be handy on occasion to briefly adjust the brightness on my monitor, but the digital controls on all of them I've used lately are so stifling that I rarely bother. Just one little knob controlling brightness by default, or moving the cursor when in an onscreen menu, would be a hundredfold improvement. The monitors I use everyday are like minefields - sometimes the buttons aren't even labelled, and hitting the wrong one tends to make some terrible change in monitor state that takes five or ten seconds to undo, like the picture-in-picture on the bigger Dell screens, or the bizarre "highlight mode" on my old Samsung, which can't be toggled off, but instead requires digging through menus.

Digital plus/minus buttons suck.

Handspring World Clock

[njchick (611256)]

In Handspring Treo 180, there was a "World Clock" program that could display time in any timezone. It allowed to change my current timezone, but it would not change the time! So I move between timezones, I would need to update the timezone AND the time. Perhaps the software was not tested on real word travelers.

The Right Mouse Button

[thesupermikey (220055)]

Fuck Context Menus
thats right, i said: "fuck context menus" /mac user

Photo

[Viking Coder (102287)]

My cell phone has a Camera button on the outside edge. Every now and then, I hear the fake shutter sound that lets me know my cell phone just took a picture of the inside of my pocket.

I'm surprised no one else has mention the worst feature ever: DRM.

In Windows Vista

[phalse phace (454635)]

Cancel or Allow? feature.

Voicemail

[rantingkitten (938138)]

In my day (I'm in my late 20s) we had answering machines, and you know what? They were good enough. If I left the house and came home a few hours later, I could see if there was a message, and I knew it was left sometime within the past few hours. Barring a few really specific and improbable scenarios, I don't need to know the exact damn time it was left, nor do I need the other BS like mailboxes, saved messages folders, varying greetings, and all the other claptrap.

Today? If you're the caller, you have to listen to the person's personal greeting, then suffer through another 20 seconds of "At the tone, please record your message. When finished, hang up, or press the star key for more options. To page this person, press nine. To listen to your personal horoscope..." Just shut the hell up and let me leave the message so I can get on with it, please?

If you're receiving voicemail it's even worse. "You have...two...new messages and one...saved message. To listen to...new messages...press one. To listen--" One. "First...message...received...at...ten...fifty eight...AM." SHUT UP. JUST PLAY THE GORRAM MESSAGE WITHOUT THE PREAMBLE. Christ. Why the hell do I need to know the exact freaking minute someone called?

Voicemail uses your minutes

[visionsofmcskill (556169)]

There is a reason those messages are so laborious with unnecesary pauses and bad order of menu options etc...

The time you spend with your answering machine is money to the Tel-Co. If you have Pay-As-You-Go it DEFINTLY counts as 10c/minute. Considering that they bill you for two minutes even if you hang up at 61 seconds, its a very easy way for them to make millions.

No joke, the more time you spend on the phone going through the various menu's the more time gets racked up, even if your on a plan your still burning minutes just trying to leave a message on someone elses phone.

Text messaging is almost worse in its cost vs value, a singel text message is generally 10-20c (sending party and recieving party), and generally requires at least one reply ... another 10-20c... so one excahnge = 4 minutes of talk time. 4 minutes on the phone could accomplish a lot more... and uses way more bandwidth, but once again the tel-co's have it setup so that the more laborious the process, the more it costs you.

Re:Voicemail uses your minutes

[vitalyb (752663)]

Funny thing is, you start paying for the call as soon as you get the "answering machine" talking to you. So basically if you waited too long for the person to answer and you didn't hang up, you will pay without any regard to whether you leave a message or not.

In Israel the latest Minister of Communication decided to put a stop to it and forced the telecom companies to place a voice warning you that you are about to get the "answering machine" so you have time to hang up before you pay for the call.

Now listen and be amazed. When you listen to automatic message for free, the companies don't joke around, it goes something like "youwillbetransferedtomessagingservicenow". The whole message is said in about 2 seconds top, I am 23 years old and I doubt I am always able to hang up on time. I really doubt older people can hang it up on time to be "excused" of payment.

Re:Voicemail

[Paradise Pete (33184)]

I had a friend who was remarkably good at mimicking the voice on my machine. She called and left a message that repeated the menu commands, and I was sitting there trying to figure out what was wrong with the damn thing.

Invulnerable Plastic Packaging

[the eric conspiracy (20178)]

You know the single molecular layer stuff with infinite strength that is used to encapsulate CDs, or the thicker and even stronger stuff that small electronic devices like CF drives come in. I once broke a pair of scissors trying to cut one of those open. I am surprised some smart lawyer doesn't do a class action lawsuit against the manufacturers of that sort of packaging - there must be lost of people who have injured themselves trying open these packages.

Re:Invulnerable Plastic Packaging

[hansamurai (907719)]

http://www.myopenx.com/home.htm [myopenx.com]

I've broken scissors too. Never again! Never again!

Print button on digital cameras

[ChePibe (882378)]

I don't think anyone else has mentioned this so I will - why on earth put a print button on the camera? While this may make sense for some cameras and some users (cheap point and shooters especially), they're now popping up on more advanced DSLRs like the Canon 30D. Who buys a $1,000 DSLR and prints directly from the camera with no post processing and not even a look at the images? Worst of all, the button can't be remapped - you're stuck with a useless button. Why, why, why?

"Operation currently prohibited by disc."

[Torodung (31985)]

Says it all.

But if you're a DVD exec, I want the buttons on my DVD player ('fast forward,' 'top menu') to work as they *should* without playing "Mother-may-I?" with the embedded OS. The menu should NEVER be restricted. That doesn't even make sense! What harm could my having instant access to your product's menu do to your bottom line?

Also, on my DVD player I can't even turn the darned thing off reliably. Is it too much to ask that a power switch be an actual -power switch- and not a "send power down signal to the OS" switch? It's not like there's a hard drive in these things. There's no need for the absurd length of time it takes for most DVD players to go from a power off *command* to a power off *state*.

Same goes for the tray eject button. Kill the motor and eject the disc already! I don't need "pretty" or "graceful," I need my disc back in less than five seconds.

Worst "feature"... Ever.

--
Toro

My windshield washer tank

[Rob the Bold (788862)]

Yes. My windshield washer tank. It's a minor quibble, true, but a source of irritation nevertheless.

It's a pretty big tank. One US gallon. Seems like a good idea, since I'm in the US, and windshield washer fluid is sold by the gallon. Just buy a gallon, fill the tank, done.

Except that's not how it works. I've got a "washer fluid low" sensor and light on the dash. It comes on when there's about 1/10th of a gallon left. Plenty of time to put more in before running out.

So I go to the store, buy a gallon, pour in (by now) 15/16ths of the bottle, and now the tank is full. And I'm left with a 1 gallon jug with 1 cup of fluid in it. So the almost empty jug has to sit in the garage or the trunk until I use a little fluid.

Sure would have been nice to have a 1.1 gallon tank.

Six things

[ISurfTooMuch (1010305)]

1. Universal remotes. Great idea in theory, but they're often hard as hell to program, especially after you lose the programming guide. Even when they're programmed correctly, they still can't perform some important function that the original remote can, so you end up having to keep both of them around, which defeats the purpose of the universal remote.

2. The meaningless icons on many electronic devices. Yeah, I know, they use them so they don't have to label the buttons in different languages for each country they sell the products in, but all these things seem to do is equally confuse everyone around the world as to what they mean.

3. Convoluted shower controls. I swear, every time I take a shower in a hotel, I have to spend several minutes figuring out how the damn controls work. How about faucet manufacturers stop trying to be cute and just give me one knob for cold, one knob for hot, and a control to switch from bath to shower. I can take it from there.

4. Wall warts. I know they serve a purpose, but do they really need to be on the end of the cord, where they take up three spots on the power strip? How about placing them in the middle of the cord, so I can use more than three plugs on my six-outlet strip.

5. Windows XP's habit of constantly reminding you that the computer needs to be restarted after an update. Memo to XP: I told you five minutes ago that I didn't want to restart, and I haven't changed my mind. How about you shut the fuck up, and when I'm ready to restart, I'll get back to you.

6. So-called water-saving toilets. Sure, they use less water, but they don't work worth a shit (pun intended). So, do you really save any water when you have to flush them twice because the first time wasn't entirely successful?

SysRq

[ISurfTooMuch (1010305)]

I know that SysRq originally had a reason for existence, but its functionality was never used, and that was many years ago. If it hasn't been used by now, it won't be, so how about reassigning that key to do something useful. Just pick a use, since just about anything is better than its current use, which is absolutely nothing.

Open button on a DVD player remote

[hoppo (254995)]

It is absolutely pointless to be able to eject a DVD from across the room. You still have to get up and walk over to the device. Unless you are strong with the Force. Then you wouldn't need the remote for anything.

Re:Open button on a DVD player remote

[palndrumm (416336)]

Actually I really like having the eject button on the remote, especially since most DVD players these days seem to take forever to spit the disc out anyway. With the button only on the player, you're left standing there in front it staring blankly at the 'ejecting' screen on the TV for what seems like 10 minutes waiting for the disc to finally find its way out. If the button's on the remote you can press it and the player can do all its dicking around while you untangle yourself from the couch/girlfriend/cat/etc, find the DVD case, and then walk across the room to grab the disc as it pops out.

cell phone that dials 911 for you

[adrianmonk (890071)]

A while back, I went to work at a new place, and they gave me a Samsung cell phone. I carried it around in my pocket. One day it rang. I answered, and the person on the other end wanted to know if everything was OK. I was confused and asked them who they were. Turns out they were the 911 (emergency services) operator, and they claimed I'd called them and hung up. I told them I certainly didn't do it on purpose, that I was OK, and that I was sorry for disturbing them.

Then the same thing happened a few more times, and there were other occasions on which I took the phone out of my pocket and saw a display asking me to confirm whether I wanted to dial 911.

After several calls to the carrier, I talked to someone who tracked down the problem. Seems that Samsung had put in a feature where if you hold down the "9" button for several seconds, it dials 911. And in their infinite wisdom, they were concerned about what might happen if you had an emergency while key lock was on. So they made it so holding down "9" dials 911 even while key lock is on.

Thanks, Samsung. I love "features" that might get me fined or imprisoned when someone concludes I'm making repeated prank calls to 911.

BMW Security

[Evets (629327)]

So a few years ago, I bought a BMW 530. My wife took it to the mall for the first time with my daughter who was about 6 months old. Upon returning to the car, she put my daughter in her car seat, and in doing so tossed the keys into the driver seat. She closed the door, walked around, and lo and behold, the BMW had locked itself up before she got to the drivers door.

The AAA locksmith shows up some time later, my daughter stuck inside a VERY hot automobile. They have no idea how to get in. So they used one of those airbag things to split open the driver door to stick a coat hanger or something inside the car to get it unlocked.

I have to call the dealership and ask where the unlock button is.

After I find out where it is and relay that to my now very panicked wife who fills in the locksmith, we come to find out that the car has detected a break-in and disabled the unlock button.

All the while we are yelling at them to just take a hammer to the window to break in. Apparently the damn car has some sort of unbreakable glass.

I finally get through to BMW's version of on-star and guess what - they can't unlock the car via satelite. As it turns out, the only thing BMW on-star is good for is asking for driving directions (there's a GPS in the car) and reserving movie tickets.

In the end, after consulting with the dealer again, I have to tell the now on-scene fire department that they CAN break the glass on the short split section of the passenger side rear window - apparently a feature designed just for these situations. Of course, that's exactly where my daughter is sitting, but thank goodness we had window shades that were drawn up.

So my wife brings my 1 day old car home that I haven't driven yet and it takes 6 weeks to get a new window. Of course, when the 6 weeks comes up and I discover they haven't ordered the window yet, they are all of a sudden in abundance and it only takes 24 hours.

So... pointless/counter-productive/bizarre features?
1) auto-locking doors
2) overly extravagent security
3) satellite communications link for directions in a car with a GPS
4) a window designed to be broken

Of course I haven't even mentioned
5) voice command (more distracting than buttons)
6) GPS Volume button is the radio button. You have to adjust the volume WHILE the GPS lady is giving you directions.
7) A radio that mysteriously reboots.
8) An integrated car management system that disables radio, air conditioning, and navigation when it doesn't boot properly.
9) A flat tire sensor that has presented at least a dozen false alarms and has never actually detected a flat tire.

Re:/. editors

[Richard McBeef (1092673)]

Speaking of Slashdot, you know when you browse at -1, nested mode in a story that has 400+ comments and it gets broken up into multiple pages? So you click on page 2, and there's the very same comment that started out page one. Then you click on page 3 and still the same damn comment starting the page? Same thing with page 4 or 5 or 6. Go to the HOF and click on a story with 4000 comments. You have to click to about page 25 before you see a comment that is not the first or second post from page 1.

That's been a Slashdot bug for years. I even reported it like 10 times at source forge. It just gets closed with some snide comment, like "stop submitting this bug" or "this is not a bug". It's a bug, they could at least leave it open or mark it unfixable.

Re:The desktop

[hey! (33014)]

Well, the worst thing about most PCs is the way the cup holder automatically retracts during a reboot.