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Any Suggestions For a Meaningful Geeky Wedding Band?

Posted by Soulskill on Sat Aug 30, 2008 01:09 AM
from the how-about-a-glow-in-the-dark-uranium-ring? dept.
mbutala writes "I am getting close to popping the question, and I've been racking my brain for an idea for a cool and unique wedding band. I've been thinking of contacting a company that can (possibly) fabricate a ring from pure Iridium (Ir) or a nearly pure alloy. It is the most corrosion-resistant metal known — it cannot be dissolved in aqua regia like gold or platinum. Iridium is extremely rare on Earth, and the high concentration of it at the K-T boundary in the Earth's crust is what suggests a meteor took out the dinosaurs. I am positive that the symbolism of the permanence of Iridium, the reminder that we are star-stuff, and the fact that the ring would be one-of-a-kind would really strike a chord with my girlfriend. It's a really geeky idea, so I thought I would run it past you all — what do you think? Any other ideas?"
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  • It's her day so... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Gavin Scott (15916) * on Saturday August 30 2008, @01:11AM (#24807081)

    Just don't make the mistake of thining that any part of the wedding process (past the proposal) is about you :)

    The short answer is "whatever she wants".

    G.

    • by bughunter (10093) <bughunter@NospAm.earthlink.net> on Saturday August 30 2008, @01:50AM (#24807423) Journal
      Also, make sure that it's sized properly. She ain't gonna be able to get it resized at Zales.
      • by GuyWithLag (621929) on Saturday August 30 2008, @02:00AM (#24807493)

        Also, keep in mind that fingers do get larger during the normal course of life, so you will need to resize it anyway at some point in the future.

          • by Linker3000 (626634) on Saturday August 30 2008, @03:50AM (#24808159)

            The ring could always be upgraded with an additional core, a co-ring or a front-end ring to give the extra capacity required. Alternatively, they could run a copy of the ring on a virtual finger.

            One final possibility is to switch the larger unit for a thinner client.

      • by Das Modell (969371) on Saturday August 30 2008, @02:44AM (#24807809)

        I get resizing offers in my e-mail all the time.

      • by lordofthechia (598872) on Saturday August 30 2008, @03:04AM (#24807937)

        resized at Zales.

        Suggestion 2, don't buy the ring at Zales, (or any mall store for that matter). They do have some nice designs, but they pass on very low quality diamonds (usually SI2 [wikipedia.org]) onto their customers while charging a much higher price. Note that most reputable places won't even sell SI2 diamonds as imperfections and flaws (like a chunk of black carbon) can be seen by the naked eye and grossly affect the diamonds fire (amount of light that is reflected internally then broken apart in a prismatic effect and sent back out to the eye).

        I know this because the first ring I got my wife was from Zales, but luckily they had a 30 day return policy ^_^ (I returned it before I proposed and got something much better).

        Now as to what to do,
        1. Decide what kind of ring, design, and materials best describe her and appeal to her tastes. For example, my wife is geeky, just like me, but does like sapphires, white gold or silver jewelry and can appreciate technology and such, so I endeavored to have a ring custom made with white gold, sapphires, and for the center stone I used a very geeky stone: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moissanite [slashdot.org]"> Moissanite . All and all it did cost me as much as much as a diamond ring, but it ended up being a beautiful, unique, and fitting ring (beautiful and geeky!).
        a) Find out what is her favorite cut or shape (or if she even wants a center stone)
        b) Find out what color metal she likes (it is a ring, and it is mainly a thing of beauty, so find out what metals she finds beautiful). Iridium does sound interesting.
        c) Find out what her favorite colors are, you can find stones in these colors (even "Cultured" or "Synthetic" diamonds"). And don't fall for the birthstone nonsense or even diamond engagement ring tradition (both marketing fabrications) [edwardjayepstein.com].
        d) Find out what type of band design (stone arrangement, etched designs, side elevation) she likes. Heck if she's a Lord of the Rings geek there's a even a band [ringdesigner.com] she may like!
        2. Now shop around, find a design that you like (don't settle for what's in the store), if you don't see it in a store, some can order it or make it. I ended up looking through literally over 2000 ring designs.
        3. Buy a loupe and carry it with you (they cost $10). Even if you're not buying a diamond, the moment a jeweler sees you with a loupe they'll know they can't pawn off crap on you.
        4. Shop around, pay attention to small but established stores in your area. Those will typically be able to accomodate custom orders.

        I wont' go much into stones since you just mentioned a band, but If you do decide to get a stone added into that ring then do your research. Find out if she'll care about a synthetic vs natural grown stone (don't confuse synthetic with simulant, a simulant is something that isn't the original but tries to approximate it, a synthetic is just a man made (or cultured) version. So the difference between a synthetic and a natural stone is just like the difference between say a banana grown in a jungle (in a natural environment) vs a banana grown in a farm or greenhouse, they're both bananas (except the synthetic product has less defects). If she's a geology freak she'll probably want a natural stone, otherwise it shouldn't matter. Heck even jewelers can't tell the difference between say a synthetic diamond and one that was pulled from the earth. Only diamond certification labs have the equipment necessary to tell the difference.

        Materials? Well Platinum is nice and valuable, but also easy to ding and hard to keep looking good. Titanium is very cool (and is what my band is made out of), and don't believe the FUD about it, it is safe, emergency rooms have equipment to cut through it if needed (they don't have to cut off your finger as one jeweler claimed....) . Gold

        • by thorngage (1354059) on Saturday August 30 2008, @04:28AM (#24808315)
          Well I'm not sure about all ER's, but I work on an ambulance in an area with a major medical center, and we are often called to the hospitals because they don't have any ringcutters at all. Mind you, our ambulance ring cutters are basically a steel, handcranked can opener. It can cut purer gold fairly well, but even gold alloys can take close to an hour. I'm not exactly how we would remove a titanium ring, because titanium would break our ringcutter.
        • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 30 2008, @04:49AM (#24808415)

          About the loupe: My parents have a jewellery store and I know a thing or two about diamonds and customers. When people run around with loupes they are: 1) people you describe trying to look knowledgeable 2) geologists/competitors 3)pawn shop people.
          How do we distuinguish 2&3 from 1: the way people look trough the loupe! In the diamond business, you look trough a lot of diamonds, and you that with both your eyes open, because it is fatiguing to keep one eye closed the whole time. Most one-timers don't know this, and clench their one eye shut, instantly giving us the signal that this person does not really know anything about diamonds.

    • by rossz (67331) <{ten.rekibkeeg} {ta} {ergo}> on Saturday August 30 2008, @02:00AM (#24807491) Homepage Journal

      I nominate this as the best advice ever posted on Slashdot.

      Every woman dreams of the perfect "fairy princes" wedding. Even the ones that say otherwise have that dream. If you are in any way responsible for that dream not coming true, you will pay for it for the rest of your life. It's nearly impossible to pull off that kind of wedding. Just don't be the fool who screws it up.

      My baby sisters wedding was screwed up by the bakery. They completely screwed up her wedding cake order and delivered a lovely green Irish derby cake.

      My wedding was in a castle in Europe (Buda Castle, Budapest). The women in my family have yet to forgive me for outdoing them.

      • by HazyRigby (992421) on Saturday August 30 2008, @02:06AM (#24807527)

        Every woman dreams of the perfect "fairy princes" wedding. Even the ones that say otherwise have that dream.

        How silly. No, every woman does not dream of that. I got married in Vegas to avoid such a (to me) preposterous display, and I've never regretted it for a moment. I wore jeans. It took about fifteen minutes.

      • by Carthag (643047) on Saturday August 30 2008, @02:15AM (#24807581) Homepage

        My parents got married at town hall during lunch break and didn't get rings until 20 years later. True love doesn't give a shit about retarded money showers.

      • by Mistshadow2k4 (748958) on Saturday August 30 2008, @02:22AM (#24807617) Journal

        Every woman dreams of the perfect "fairy princes" wedding.

        No we don't! I'm so tired of seeing that stereotype in every movie or tv series that so much mentions a wedding. If I were to get married again, I'd prefer a simple wedding ceremony outdoors (with buglights, of course). No annoying and expensive wedding gown, no juggling a list of invites, no big reception, no BS. Just something nice.

  • by Dwedit (232252) on Saturday August 30 2008, @01:12AM (#24807095) Homepage

    If it's made out of Platinum-Iridium, you can make a wedding band which weighs exactly one kilogram.

  • Save your money (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Skyshadow (508) * on Saturday August 30 2008, @01:16AM (#24807133) Homepage

    My advice: Don't get too fancy. Titanium makes a dandy wedding band for a bunch of reasons:

    1. It's inexpensive. My ring ran something like $99, so I can afford to have a backup living in my filing cabinet in case I ever lose this one (people lose their rings all the time -- ask that one beach volleyball player from the Olympics this year). Also, if my fingers get fatter in my old age, I can replace the ring for cheap. Overspending? Not geeky.
    2. It's hard enough that it'll shatter before it deforms. Most ring-related injuries are a result of the ring bending into the finger. That's bad. My ring won't deform easily and will probably shatter before deforming, so I have a better chance of keeping my finger than someone with a gold wedding band. Inability to hit the "S" key due to a missing finger? Not geeky.
    3. It can be cut off. Hospitals can cut off a 6-4 titanium band, so if I ever injur my finger badly enough that it swells up I can, again, keep my finger and continue hitting the "S" key freely. See #2.
    4. It's light. I hardly know I have it on. This may or may not be a good thing, depending on what sort of person you are. It's also completely hypoallergenic, which I understand is different than simply nonreactive. Not having your ring cause you weird skin issues? Geeky.
    5. It's geeky. Go rent The Abyss if you have to. While I haven't stopped any hydraulic doors with mine, it is in perfect shape after four fantastic years. The finish gets a little scuffed, but it's still in perfect shape despite some significant abuse. You want geeky? I have "Don't Panic" inscribed in the inside of mine (and "Panic" inscribed in the backup ring I mentioned in #1). Sound advice, that.

    I understand the drive to be unique, but take it from me (I moonlight as a wedding photographer): Weddings are already stupid-expensive. You should get immediately out of the habit of overspending when cheaper and perfectly satisfactory alternatives exist. As for your other point: *all* rings are starstuff -- gold, platinum, titanium, whatever -- so your last point there is complete hyperbole. Again, not excessively geeky.

    • Osmium (Score:5, Funny)

      by cirby (2599) on Saturday August 30 2008, @01:27AM (#24807247)

      That way, your wife can say, "It's very, very dense. Just like my husband."

    • Re:Save your money (Score:5, Insightful)

      by pcsnow (1353993) on Saturday August 30 2008, @01:30AM (#24807261)
      I agree. My wife was so pleased that we did something different, well a little different, titanium. You might consider asking her in a very vague/hypothecal sort of way if she were to some day consider being married if she feels strongly about what sort of ring she would like or could she be pleased if someone might just surprise her. I think some girls like to be surprised and like being a little unique, but others would stomp on you if you gave them something other than what they have wanted all their fecund life.
    • Re:Save your money (Score:5, Interesting)

      by rossifer (581396) on Saturday August 30 2008, @03:05AM (#24807943) Journal

      I went with Tungsten (actually tungsten carbide in a cobalt carrier, like 99% of tungsten rings), and though the list is similar, there are a few differences between my reasons and the list you gave:

      • Tungsten is heavier than gold.
      • The finish is incredibly durable. In 20 years, wipe off the fingerprints and the finish is a mirror again.
      • Hospitals can't cut it off, but most know how to break it (vice grips).
      • It's got the atomic symbol W and a strange story around that symbol.
      • Last but not least: it's a neutron reflector (pretty darned geeky).
    • by nospam007 (722110) on Saturday August 30 2008, @04:50AM (#24808419)

      >... My ring ran something like $99, so I can afford to have a backup living in my filing cabinet in case...

      Did you see that people?
      People with /. IDs under 1000 have even backups for their wedding rings.

      • Re:Save your money (Score:5, Informative)

        by peas_n_carrots (1025360) on Saturday August 30 2008, @02:16AM (#24807589)
        You're missing the point of the post you replied to. Based on the theory that planets and stars are formed from clouds of gases, every naturally occurring element on a planet is "stardust". The earth is a planet, the sun is a star, and we're all made of matter from this planet. Gold and carbon are no less stardust than iridium, just not as common on this planet.
      • by MrNaz (730548) on Saturday August 30 2008, @02:24AM (#24807639) Homepage

        "the idea of having a back up ring is pure genius."

        No it's not. Every time I tell people I've got problems due to not having a backup they call me an idiot, so it seems it's just common sense.

  • Duh. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Gazzonyx (982402) on Saturday August 30 2008, @01:17AM (#24807141)
    Geeky wedding band? Weird Al!
    It's all about the Pentiums, baby.

    ...Huh? Wrong kind of band?
  • Advice (Score:5, Funny)

    by Musrum (779646) on Saturday August 30 2008, @01:20AM (#24807173)
    Don't get your question posted on /. immediately after a story about a man killing his wife
  • by mpoulton (689851) on Saturday August 30 2008, @01:24AM (#24807205)
    Our wedding bands themselves are not too metallurgically unusual (though the construction involves a difficult inlay made from palladium-gold alloy). However, my wife's diamond is extra geeky! It's an artificial blue diamond - a natural white diamond subjected to massive gamma irradiation in an industrial nuclear reactor or particle accelerator. The irradiation disturbs the crystal lattice and produces color centers in the diamond, causing a blue-green hue. She loves it, and tells the story to every geek she meets.
  • Guaranteed success (Score:5, Informative)

    by imasu (1008081) on Saturday August 30 2008, @01:26AM (#24807235)

    Just pop the question with no ring and tell her it's because you want everything to be perfect and want to go pick it out together with her. Then let her have 100% say.

    Get used to this algorithm, you'll be applying it to all sorts of problems in the future. It even handles otherwise NP-complete issues with ease.

    Trust me on this.

    • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 30 2008, @02:14AM (#24807567)

      If you people are seriously marrying women with the intention of being doormats your entire lives, you will be a miserable, pathetic wretch long before she ruins you in the divorce.

      Any marriage based on "yes dear, yes dear" over and over again is an eternity in HELL. If you care even an ounce about yourself, you won't do turn into "that guy".

  • by spooje (582773) <spoojeNO@SPAMhotmail.com> on Saturday August 30 2008, @01:33AM (#24807289) Homepage

    Yes, nothing says eternal love like something that caused one of largest losses of life the Earth has ever seen.

  • Alaska (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 30 2008, @01:38AM (#24807323)

    I had a friend years ago who had been married 9 times when we lost track of him. Each time, he would disappear for months at a time to Alaska in order to kill a grizzly bear from whose bones he would hand carve a wedding ring for his wife-to-be. After the 4th bear, it became pretty clear that his marriages were an excuse to go kill go bears. They were all crazy hippy chicks, but none of the wives seemed to find it any less romantic that they were (nth) to have received a hand-carved wedding ring from the bones of a bear killed by the bare hands of their man.

    Go north, to Alaska . . . you know what you need to do.

  • by SoupIsGood Food (1179) on Saturday August 30 2008, @01:49AM (#24807419)

    Your finger will likely not remain the size it is. You will lose or gain weight, so the ring will need to be resized. This will likely be a gigantic pain in the rear with an exotic metal like Iridium. It certainly is for titanium.

    Any halfway competent jeweler can braze in a new segment of ring, even one with a complex pattern, if it's made of a precious metal commonly found in jewelry. Most large jewelry stores or store chains will also offer free size adjustment of the band for life as part of the deal, or for a small fee at the time of purchase.

    Titanium is theoretically re-sizeable, but only smaller, as doing two small welds so close together are impractical: it needs to be welded in an oxygen-free environment. In reality, they're going to have to give you a new ring if (when) you need to re-size, as it's a lot cheaper to replace than repair. Likewise tungsten-carbide steel, which is also popular these days. I want to keep =this= ring, not have it replaced if something goes wrong. Stupid and sentimental, I know, but still...

    There's also the issue of medical emergency. If your finger swells up abruptly, due to injury or allergy, the hospital will need to cut your ring off. They have tools to do this painlessly and quickly with silver/gold/platinum bands, but things get tricky with tougher stuff, like tool-grade steel, titanium, and, I'd imagine, iridium. What was a minor medical procedure is now a medical emergency requiring tools that the hospital may not have.

    It was a hard choice, as there are a ton of cool carbon fiber and titanium wedding bands out there, but I found a two-tone gold band with a nice herringbone pattern. It's unusual, comfortable, and can be cut and resized as needed. It's not as cheap as titanium, carbon fiber or tool-grade tungsten-carbide, but it will be easier to maintain.

    If you want =really= unusual, I have a friend who had his tattooed on. Now that's commitment.

  • by Medievalist (16032) on Saturday August 30 2008, @01:59AM (#24807485)

    My dad has a platinum wedding band.

    After he'd been wearing it a couple decades, one day he slipped and started to fall in a parking lot. His hand was resting on the top of a metal fence post, and as it slipped off, the metal rod clamped to the post (that held a run of chain-link fence to it) found its way between his finger and the ring.

    The ring was well fitted, so when the steel was deflected inwards by the stronger platinum, gravity caused the steel to slice him to the bone. Then he was hanging by one damaged finger with his full weight held by the steel rod inside the ring.

    If you calculate the strength of your wife's finger joint relative to her weight (and she's not barsoomian or emaciated or something) you'll see that the next thing that happens is the finger pops right off. Luckily for my dad, he is quite strong, so he grabbed the chain-link with his other hand and only got his finger stretched to un-natural length.

    The doctors fixed it, so it wasn't as bad as getting your silk tie caught in a generator, but it was still a real wake-up call. Unbreakable ring on breakable finger has a very bad failure mode.

    Get her a really nice soft metal ring with a beautiful design. High-carat gold is really much redder than the common stuff - it's noticeably prettier - and you can always inlay it with something that's not a continuous band.

  • by surfcow (169572) on Saturday August 30 2008, @02:05AM (#24807523) Homepage

    ... and she gave me a Token Ring.

    Honest.

  • by HomerJ (11142) on Saturday August 30 2008, @02:17AM (#24807599)

    Their wedding bands are going to be made of unobtanium.

  • by 1155 (538047) on Saturday August 30 2008, @02:25AM (#24807655)

    If for some reason your future wife happens to need to get the ring cut off due to an accident, and the hospital cannot get the ring off with the tools on hand, they will cut off the finger. I found this out after speaking to two registered nurses.

  • by maunleon (172815) on Saturday August 30 2008, @02:34AM (#24807727)

    Girls are girls first, and geeks second. I would say that even the geekiest girls have dreamed of traditional weddings, and would much rather have tradition over trends and geekiness.

    Just my $0.02. Do come back and tell us how it went.

      • by h4rm0ny (722443) <h4rm0ny AT tarddell DOT net> on Saturday August 30 2008, @01:58AM (#24807477) Journal

        All I'll add to that, is if he's found a girl who will value his imagination, willingness to put all that effort, throught and dilligence in, more than she values waving some diamonds with no intrinsic value at her friends and having them wave their own back (sometimes with a concealed snide reference to it not being worth as much their diamonds), then he should under no circumstances ever let this girl go. She's more valuable than any precious metal or gemstone.

        Good luck to the submitter!