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How To Help a Friend With an MMO Addiction?
Posted by
Soulskill
on Fri May 22, 2009 09:12 PM
from the napalm-solves-more-problems-than-you'd-expect dept.
from the napalm-solves-more-problems-than-you'd-expect dept.
sammydee writes "I have a friend who is addicted to an MMO (Pirates of the Burning Sea). On a typical day, he will wake up around 9am, browse the forums for a bit, then go online and stay online all day, playing until about 3am the following morning, taking only toilet breaks and stopping to eat ready-meals. While the rest of the house works hard revising for exams, this friend will be playing his MMO instead. Now, I am pretty confident that this comprises an unhealthy addiction; unfortunately, I have no idea what to do about it. Any attempt to physically prevent him from playing the game would most likely result in an outburst of anger and possibly physical violence. Attempts at telling him he has a problem have been met with derision and angry retorts. Slashdotters, what would you do to help out a friend in this situation? Perhaps you are a reformed addict yourself — if so, how did you break out of the habit? Or maybe I should just leave well enough alone and allow him to continue? Any thoughts are gratefully received."
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It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Funny)
Get him a girlfriend.
That's pretty much the only solution.
Save a geek: help me develop the Geek Saver [fairsoftware.net], the iPhone app that makes dating for geeks a breeze!
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Funny)
Unless this was posted by the girlfriend
Or his "girlfriend" is someone he met on the MMO. Do the keys on his keyboard stick?
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Funny)
In that case we shouldn't worry, he'll kick his addiction once he discovers that his "girlfriend", the Undead Warlock named Zombiewitch, is really a 42 year-old balding fat guy from Cleveland.
that's 41, and it's a gland problem. jerk
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Funny)
Answer's still the same: get him a girlfriend (a different one, obviously).
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Insightful)
Absolutely agree with this - sex is the remedy. Make the point that the guy isn't getting any and you are (hopefully), and it'll probably hurt enough to get him to start thinking about what he's missing out on by spending all his time playing Pirates.
Sex is an integral part of almost all humans, and we need it. Use this to your advantage.
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Interesting)
Sex is an integral part of almost all humans, and we need it. Use this to your advantage.
If my male housemate ever try this, all they'd accomplish is me backed into a corner, one hand on an my revolver, half looking at them and half looking at my computer screen.
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Insightful)
Damn... the potentional for real life social interaction with ladies was all it took for me. Were my standards too low? You mean I could have gotten sex out of it? Damn...
Seriously though, you need to start going out, and often, to meet up with ladies in order to fix this. Since he won't be going with you, you don't have to be successful at all at meeting up with the ladies, just make sure he knows your intended goal every time you go out, be sure to have adventures, and be sure to talk about them non-stop around him.
At first, you should neglect to invite him, but be sure to have exchanges like "Should we invite Jim?" "Nah, he'll just say no and stay home to play his stupid game" within earshot of him. Then a few weeks later, actually ask him to go with you. By then he will probably have gotten jealous, and just might say yes. If so, and you can actually get him to have real-life physical relations with a lady - and I'm talking waaaay less than sex here - he'll probably lose interest in the game. Real life will be more exciting. ;)
On another note, is POTBC any good? I haven't played a steady MMO since I quit SW Galaxies, but I always wanted to play that one...
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Insightful)
And women will be receptive to a random MMO junkie because _______?
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Funny)
And women will be receptive to a random MMO junkie because _______?
Because they are good at performing repetitive motions with their fingers AND they can endure doing the same boring tasks week after week: "Tell me how your day was, honey?"
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Interesting)
Thats what did it for me. 80+ hrs per week on EQ, while in the USAF...
Since getting clean, I can't get into any games anymore... I'd imagine it's like getting clean from crack, nothing will ever be good enough to replace it. You try to give it a chance but you can't really commit enough to get really into it.
My wife bought me Fallout 3 for Christmas and I haven't even taken the cellophane off yet... though I fully expect to love the game like I loved the other two, I know how it will play out. I will not see my family for a weekend, go back to work on Monday and never play it again because I realize that it's just a game and can't commit to it.
Parent
Actually, sex won't help (True, unfunny story) (Score:5, Interesting)
You're joking, but I'm serious: This probably won't work.
I was in exactly the same position as the poster when I was in college (EverQuest). My best friend from the time I was 5 just disappeared. He stopped going to classes, he stopped sleeping normal times (at least this guy seems to have a schedule--my friend was on a totally strange cycle that seemed to rotate). He only ate leftovers or other stuff that he could bring up to his room. Until this time, he and I always used to trade off cooking dinner and actually sit down for dinner each night. He was, in a very real sense, like a brother. Closer than my actual brother, really. I considered his parents basically another set in addition to my own, and the families were very close.
Anyway, I'll never forget the morning that his girlfriend--another old friend of mine--showed up at our place one morning to try to drag him out. He wouldn't even come to his door. She just kept pleading at the door, becoming more frantic. They'd been together for years. Finally she said, "So, you want me to leave?" "Yes." "If I leave, I'm never coming back, is that okay with you?" "...Yes."
She was devastated. I spend the rest of the day taking care of her. She left that evening after I made her dinner, and I think that's the last time I ever saw her.
My friend just continued this "life" style, even as I called his parents and asked for their help. They couldn't get him to quit. He flunked out of his classes, and his parents stopped giving him money for rent and food (he had been paying his share all this time, which was nice--I'd leave a note for what he owed and there'd be a check there in the morning). Finally I had to evict him (my parents owned the place and we rented from them). It was heartbreaking; he wasn't showering and I had to air that room out for a week. He was pale and emaciated. Just totally a different person (he was a long-distance runner, always in way better shape than me--we were on the cross-country team in high school together--fun times).
He moved into his parents basement, and they tried to kick him out a few times, but basically their conscience wouldn't let them. This went on for at least another year at their place. I got updates on his "condition" through my dad, who had lunch with his dad (and some of the other guys from around town) every Friday.
Then one day, he comes upstairs and says to his dad "I canceled my account. I'm going for a run."
Now he's addicted to long-distance running, and is finally finishing his degree. There was a period for a few years before he started school again where he worked at a shoe store part time (I'm pretty sure he ran out of his large savings--"frugal" has never been the word for his level of financial conservativeness--by paying all those months of EQ bills). Despite these positive steps, though, our friendship is completely broken. I've tried to hang out with him a few times since that time, but he's just different. I don't know him. He's gone.
So what I'm saying is this: I don't think there's anything the poster can do. This addiction won't kill the guy, though, so that's good, but I think that what stops him will probably be running out of money or something along those lines. He's not going to get better, I don't think. He's just one of those people who gets addicted to things. Probably some form of OCD or something. Just give up and focus on your own studies. He's gone.
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Funny)
The hooker took one look at us, laughed, and walked out the door with our money.
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Insightful)
The hooker took one look at us, laughed, and walked out the door with our money.
You gave her the money before the services were rendered? Amateur.....
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Informative)
A girlfriend will want to evaluate his character, tell her friends, make him want to go out on dates and shit like that... and if all is good, will "perform".
You're doing it wrong.
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Insightful)
This is a house mate. I'm assuming they had a reason for rooming together in the first place. Oh that's right, it's called friendship. And if your friend is addicted to something, then the friendship dissolves.
Losing a friend to game is no different than losing a friend to any other addiction. If they're gone, they're gone until they return to their senses.
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Insightful)
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Insightful)
I think people should mind their own bloody business personally. It's not like he's poisoning his body with drugs or alcohol or hurting other people with his "addiction".
How to help a friend? Leave them the hell alone to live their life how they want and stop being so bloody pretentious in thinking this person needs to be "saved".
I'm pretty much on board with this perspective. At some point he's an adult and takes responsibilities for his own actions. He might look back years later and lament the lost time (and quite possibly a delayed education), but that will have been his choice. The potential to be doing other things doesn't mean that he'd be happier not doing what he is now.
If he was spending all his time shut away in his room reading books, this wouldn't be post-worthy, it'd just be someone with a reclusive personality. If he was out getting smashed at parties and getting laid all the time, it wouldn't be post-worthy either. Still, it's just as easy to look back with regret on a year of partying as it is a year of playing an MMO.
Parent
Re:It's Called S.E.X (Score:5, Informative)
And not only from games. A friend of mine, a successful accountant almost died some months ago from a clot, formed in her legs from sitting too may hours.
What ever else you are doing, get up and walk some every hour or so
Parent
Appeal to His Original Priorities (Score:5, Insightful)
Slashdotters, what would you do to help out a friend in this situation?
I used to live in a bad part of the Franklin neighborhood in Minneapolis. As I pulled up next to my house, two squad cars were parked in a V in my front lawn with their cherries on. I had just worked until 2am at a parking garage on the U of MN campus. There was an adolescent in front of my house being stared down by a policeman. As I walked up the cop was staring him down and holding a bag of weed saying very loudly and very forcefully, "... yeah? And what skills you got? What has this shit been doing for you? How long have you been using? What are you going to do when you're a grown up providing for yourself?"
... but maybe they aren't. I know how someone would approach me about this, they wouldn't try to stop me. Instead, they--being my friends--would appeal to things they know that matter to me. I'll try to list them in order that I think you can evoke a reaction from your friend:
While that's a lot more melodramatic than you need to be, you can put your friend in the same situation.
A man's got priorities. Your friend's sound screwed up
I've seen people give up several of these for an MMORPG (Star Wars Galaxies ruined lives). You need to sit down and talk to him and try to realign his priorities. You have to know him and know where he's going to bring that logic. If things don't matter to him anymore there's not a lot you can do once you've made all those appeals (and you may know more).
Slashdotters, what would you do to help out a friend in this situation? Perhaps you are a reformed addict yourself -- if so, how did you break out of the habit?
If I was spending too much time in a game it would take very little to cause me to get up and walk away: "Since you started playing that game, how much closer are you to being the person you want to be when you die?" Don't think that would work on your friend--especially if he has low self esteem.
... although I cannot fathom how that would be.
Most importantly if you convince him to stop, you need to be there for him to fill up that part of his life or to help see the value in realigning his goals.
Last thing is that if he isn't screwing up or endangering any of these things, you're going to have a hell of a hard time convincing him out of the game
Re:Appeal to His Original Priorities (Score:5, Insightful)
I still play video games, but no TF2 or Insurgency [insmod.net], the games I burned my nights on. They're fun games but they just suck you dry.. whenever I try to play them that familiar thrill of a big exciting moment (lots in TF2) makes me sick remembering how hollow it leaves you.
It's really like a drug addiction.. not physically obviously but the game is so fun and the rewards so immediate and thrilling compared to a crap life.. I think anyone who's come off an all-day frag session really knows what I mean. It was great and fun and you had some epic moments, but you take away absolutely nothing from it. "Well, that was a waste of my weekend." Your weekend just vanishes into completely forgettable minutiae and come Monday you feel like you just left work for the weekend.
Video game control legislation like China's is obviously absurd, but everyone knows someone whose life has been ruined by WoW.. it's shocking how many people get trapped in self destructive patterns by the rush of victory and pride of being superior (level, armor, whatever). It should at least come with a warning label or something.. whatever.
Posted AC for obvious reasons
Parent
Re:Appeal to His Original Priorities (Score:5, Insightful)
I think you missed the point dude, and are WAY to focused on religion-bashing.
The point was to appeal to what this guy thinks is important.
For a very large segment of the population, Religion is very important. The choice at #1 isn't too far fetched.
However, I don't think he was making a prioritized list, I think he was just listing the most emotion inducing - and therefore most likely to be effective - appeals the guy could probably make to his friend. Religion would definitely be near the top of that list.
It's not like he was telling the guy exactly what to say, good god man, don't be so sensitive!
Parent
Re:Appeal to His Original Priorities (Score:5, Insightful)
Ugh, how could you list Religion as #1? That addiction has destroyed the lives of uncountably many more people than MMORPGs.
Yeah? You know a lot of people that wake up at 9am and get on the religion forums and then pray until 3am? Oh, you don't? Well, maybe you should pay attention to your own meager statistics. I'm an atheist. But I'm not stupid.
And if you disagree? Well, it just shows people have different ideas of what to dedicate their lives to, so who are you to tell them otherwise?
I'm confused, are you telling the person who asked the question that he shouldn't try to convince his friend to stop playing or does your logic only apply when it's your ideas that are being questioned?
Parent
Re:Appeal to His Original Priorities (Score:5, Funny)
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
Parent
Re:Appeal to His Original Priorities (Score:5, Insightful)
Most of the drug addicts I've met seem happy, as long as they have drugs.
Parent
Grief (Score:5, Insightful)
Get some buddies, make some accounts, grief him until he quits.
Re:Grief (Score:5, Insightful)
Sure, but then they'll be hooked on griefing people. Really it is more addictive than the games themselves.
Though why does this story smell like an ad? The single link is to some weirdo largely unknown game, under the context that it's so good that someone is hooked and needs to be broken free. My Spammy-Senses are tingling.
Parent
You can;t save someone from their self. (Score:5, Informative)
I learned that with my regular old drug junkie friends.
You don't do anything. (Score:5, Funny)
He's addicted to being a pirate. He's too far gone to be saved...all you can do is sandbag around his computer. But when the replica cannon arrives via UPS, I suggest you leave.
firewall, fdisk, or just wait it out... (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:firewall, fdisk, or just wait it out... (Score:5, Insightful)
Sounds like this is taking place in a college setting. Don't worry about it. Darwin will always win. Your MMO addict will be getting a permanent chance to play all day forever back in Mom's basement after he flunks out. It's not your problem and don't try to make it be otherwise.
Spot on. College is the sandbox where you can be a fuckup like this and not have it haunt you for life. There will always be a percentage of kids at university that will do things like this once they're out of Mom and Dad's house.
That said, if this kid really does have a compulsion or other deep-seated issue thats driving him to play like this, I really don't think that any amount of reasoning will sway him.
Parent
Re:firewall, fdisk, or just wait it out... (Score:5, Insightful)
Oddly, kinda worked the opposite for me. I spent all my time on MUSHes when I was in college, was academically dismissed, then turned the programming and computer skills I'd taught myself while MUSHing into a career. Not that I'd expect that to work for modern MMOs, since you don't program anything in them really unless you're into modding. I did eventually go back and finish my biology degree, however, and being kicked out was definitely the reality check I needed on getting my priorities straight (though it took a while to figure that out).
Parent
Re:firewall, fdisk, or just wait it out... (Score:5, Insightful)
Perhaps, for some strange reason, the guy actually cares about his friend and wants some help saving his friend from that life?
You know, like a friend?
Honestly, if that's how much you care about your friends, you can't have many. Or at least not many good ones, at any rate.
Parent
You call that an addiction? (Score:5, Funny)
Toilet Breaks? Tell him he's doing it wrong.
The dude doesn't even have a pod [makezine.com].
Seek professional help (Score:5, Interesting)
I had a friend in college who was addicted to an MMO - not quite at the hours you describe, but not far off. Every semester when finals came around, we tried to tear him away from his computer and help him study, but he never listened. When convincing/arguing/pleading failed (and eventually, it always failed), we would hide or break his game CDs, but he would buy, pirate, borrow, or otherwise find a new copy. He failed out of school.
Seek professional help. Talk to the counselors at your school.
Sit him down, and talk. (Score:5, Insightful)
My suggestion would be, in one of the breif moments when he's off the game, get him to just come and talk to you, heck maybe even get some of your other friends to join, and keep him occupied in a social discussion for an hour or two to at least break the cycle once in a while. If that doesn't have a lasting effect, just talk to him by himself and say you're concerned about his wellbeing, ask him if he wants to spend all his life eating ready meals and sitting in front of a computer like a zombie.
Usually any addiction is a sign of something missing from the persons life, if you can find out what that is, maybe you can help him get over the cause rather than the effect.
Too little, too late. (Score:5, Insightful)
Your friend needs help. Professional help. Your school probably has a psychological counseling office, but that's the sort of thing that he needs to seek himself. Confronting him, wrecking his account, getting him banned, or anything else is not going to help you or him at this point.
I say this because I've been that person. Same academic issues, same fixation on a game for social reinforcement (a MUX, in my case), and I'd wager that he's feeling just as depressed and afraid as I did when I was in that situation.
If you want to help him, get in touch with his family. Get in touch with his professors and the dean of his faculty. If he's religious, get in touch with his pastor. Chances are, none of them have any idea what's really going on. It's really easy to just grunt and shrug when someone asks how classes are going. They may have suspicions, but between their desire to treat him as an adult, and the shame and frustration he's feeling at being unable to cope, he doesn't feel like he can ask for help, and they don't feel like they can successfully confront him.
router. (Score:5, Funny)
Hopefully you've got a router. Using the built-in firewall, block the ports that the game requires. on and off for five minutes at a time. So he has to keep logging in and never makes any progress (well, even less than normal...), but doesn't realize you're fiddling with it.
If you can't place a linux box as router without being suspicious, you might be able set up a cron job on cheapo laptop you connect to automatically keep changing the commodity router's settings.
Hey, I'm on the wagon... (Score:5, Insightful)
I started playing everquest in 2001. At first I refused to play, but friends pretty much bought the game and installed it on my PC. I refused to play because I figured I'd get addicted... and sure enough... 7 years later... I went cold turkey. There are a few things that I realized about my own addiction that helped me break it.
First, MMOs are Skinner boxes. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operant_conditioning_chamber [wikipedia.org] They let the player feel like they're accomplishing something. This is a huge motivator when in your real life, the rewards are missing from any effort. For me, I had just got divorced and had a company I help start shoot down the toilet. Suffices to say, I was at a motivational low.
So, to figure out the trap (Skinner box), you need to figure out how to get the rewards in real life that are missing. A psychologist might suggest sitting with your friend and actually setting achievable, short term, real world goals. Even if it is as simple as going for a 30 minute walk. Then emphasize the "Hey, I did something today." You might even want to try something that gives other rewards, like adrenaline, through running, or some sport.
Next, there was the social aspect. People in MMOs believe the social context missing from their lives is real - that you actually have friends in the game. This is pretty far from the truth. Sure, I got to know a few people well in my EQ experience, but not one of them has participated in a relationship outside the game. So, some brutal realities there...
Anyway, I've been EQ free over six months. I refuse to play another MMO, ever. When you look at the total time played, and you see that you've been online 300+ days... ask the question, if you had a year of time back, what would you do with it? Sit in front of a computer screen like a zombie? Or actually try accomplish something. People often say they don't have time for stuff. Pretty sobering to look at some metrics. And real addicts underestimate how much time they play.
IRL (Score:5, Funny)
I have this friend IRL right and he's so attached his education that his not living life. He sacrifices any bit of fun for it. He gets up around 9am, calls his mum in Denver, and then hits the books until about 3am only leaving his desk to put a piece of cheese on some bread and maybe take a shit. His desk is totally littered with empty energy drink bottles and sometimes he pisses in an empty instead of getting up to go to the bathroom. Once he accidentally drank a recycled one and just vomited in another.
There's this pirate game [burningsea.com] right, it's awesome! Swashbuckling and harrr! Open seas! Booty! Awesomez!!! and I've tried to bring it up with him every now and again but my suggestions are always met with derision and anger. "You're sleeping your future away with that crap!" he'll yell. He can't see that he's missing out on all this fun with his addiction to success.
I've tried using wake-on-LAN and changing his home page but it just won't work. What can I do to help him?
The tried and true method of fighting addiction... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Don't bother (Score:5, Insightful)
Parent
Re:Don't bother (Score:5, Insightful)
Will you ever need people that are that dedicated to your well being in your life? Maybe not, if you don't you are pretty lucky. However, just knowing that you have people standing next to you that WILL march into hell to save you is invaluable. I have been that person before, and the one I tried to help hated me for it...for a while. However, now I have someone that I *KNOW* will always be there if I need them, and who has no problem calling me out on the carpet if I start going down a bad path. The pinnacle of arrogance is not so much believing that you can never make a mistake in your own life or go down those roads, but that you will know when you are doing it. Sometimes it takes someone close to you to give you that swift kick in the jimmy to let you know you are doing something stupid.
Additionally, I think being one of your "friends" would be depressing. Knowing that if my life goes foul for some reason and I start making bad choices, that I will be abandoned rather than helped. That kind of thing is typically what feeds directly into suicidal thoughts during the aftermath of some kind of traumatic event. Maybe this guy isn't just making stupid choices and addicted to a game. Maybe he just lost a family member, maybe he found out someone close to him has cancer, etc, etc, etc, and he is looking for an escape. The people that will make an impact in his life are the ones that will press the issue and help him. The reality is, half the time, you don't have to march into hell, you just have to let them know that you are ready to do that.
Your definition of friend seems to be pretty watered down. I call those people acquaintances, not friends. Friends are the people that WILL go to hell and back for you, and that you will go to hell and back for.
Parent
Re:Delete (Score:5, Insightful)
So you're advocating hacking his account. Classy. Where do you people get off? Christ, given some of the people I've known in MMO's when I used to play, if you were found hacking their account, you would be dead. Seriously, I know several people who if you did that to you would lose it and kill you where you stand.
Nobody has any right to hack into someone elses accounts and delete it. Honestly, advocating that is sickening.
Regardless of the fact it's only a game, imagine how YOU'D feel if some asshole deleted the product of a year or two of your hobby. Like say you're into Warhammer and I come along set fire to your models "for your own good".
God you people are sick.
Parent
That is retarded (Score:5, Informative)
For one, all the MMO companies I've ever encountered have plenty of records of what has happened with an account. That was if something goes wrong, they can restore it. If it gets hacked, they'll just roll it back to where it was before then. So the company will fix the problem and he'll just get to keep going. Now if you keep doing it, you WILL get caught. That's how criminals, and make no mistake that's what you'd be, get caught: They keep doing it. Each time there's more chance you slip up, each time there's more patterns to look for.
In this case you'd get found out fairly quickly because those involved would realize the only way someone could keep getting his password is to have physical access to his computer.
So this is an excellent way to not fix the problem, and to land your ass in jail. Hacking can be a very serious offense if they want it to be.
Parent
Your friend has to want help (Score:5, Insightful)
This is
There is lots of research on addictions, and there's lots of ways to approach treatment, but *nothing* works unless your friend asks for help. That has to be the first step. It's nothing personal, just something to do with the way the brain processes information about the self. Any action you take will elicit defence mechanisms if it is based on downward social comparison.
My advise is to go talk to a clinical psychologist about your friends case. They may be able to suggest appropriate reading materials, or communication strategies.
I am dedicated to helping people and understanding the human mind - it's a passion for me, and why I returned to school after working for years as a programmer. In my experience, the only way to truly help someone is to get to know them better, without any sense of agenda.
Parent
advice from the agony ent: don't be hasty (Score:5, Interesting)
It's not a problem until he flunks out of school, gets booted from the house for not paying rent, ...
My god, you'd fit well into the medical establishment. Studying to become a doctor?
Q: My friend survives on a diet of poutine and coke. A: It's not a problem until his heart palpitates.
I guess nothing is a problem in life until the condition is so severe that the poor sop is ready to cut a large cheque (supposing any funds remain) for quadruple bypass surgery performed by someone who didn't flunk out of school.
Great advice from the perspective of the doctor's retirement fund, not such good advice from the perspective of the future patient.
The underlying anger thing suggests this person is not ready to confront his inner conflict in the context of the larger world. Probably the best move is to distance yourself from the impending conflagration.
If you set yourself up to become the lightening rod for your friend's anger, and you have the patience of a saint, your friend might recover, but your friendship won't. One way or another, your friend will ultimately classify you in the "before" or "after" category.
You do have an opportunity to provide your friend with a small glimpse of leadership and self determination by taking responsibility for your own emotional content.
"I don't like hanging around with you when you play games 15 hours a day. It worries and irritates me to think about where your life might end up if you continue to behave this way. We need to think about different living arrangements. I hope we'll continue to be friends. I'll be very upset if we end up falling out over this. One of us needs to start looking for a new place to live. How are we going to sort this out?"
I've been reading a lot of economic theory lately. Apparently, according to economists, humans are rational agents in almost every respect.
This via Colby Cosh, my favourite lucid and agreeable wingnut.
http://offsettingbehaviour.blogspot.com/2009/04/berl-redux.html [blogspot.com]
Who's to tell me that my utility function is wrong?
Unfortunately, there is a lot of truth to this. Where he means to put the emphasis on "wrong", I would put the emphasis on "who", as it concerns your friend. If you solve for x and x = yourself, I'd harbour some grave doubts about *your* utility function after you showed the common sense to look before leaping.
Parent
Re:Still not a problem. (Score:5, Insightful)
Unless this guy has a personal bankroll that he's using to fund his lethargy, his parents are likely paying for the lifestyle he's leading (in part or whole). Angry parents can do quite a bit to motivate a person. Maybe it's time someone called his parents.
Parent
Re:Still not a problem. (Score:5, Insightful)
I think as sad as the game addiction is, the attitude of many to simply give up on him and let him fail at life is at least as sad. Friends and family are supposed to care; the profound alienation some geeks have from the rest of humanity except at the most distant and constrained levels is really tragic.
My suggestion to the OP: fortunately, game addiction isn't like other addictions, and it often doesn't take the same bottoming-out to get things under control. Most game addicts (I don't want to mince words: on the short to medium term, it is practically indistinguishable from addiction - pedantry about it is unhelpful) seem to stop playing addictively when they start building social skills and active lives, which of course creates a positive feedback loop. My suggestion: get him out of the house. Vacations, nights-out, activities. Work with him in getting a busy activity calendar. This seems to be effective in getting people to stop obsessive playing, because it scratches the "itch" of sociality that MMOs always promise to scratch but never quite satisfies.
Parent