Advice You Would Give to Your 12 Year-Old Self?

urbazewski asks: "If you could send a message back to your nerdy unpopular 12 year old self, what would you say? I've been asking this one for several years, and the replies sound suspiciously like the lame advice I got from adults at that age ('just be yourself, dear'). The most creative answer was from an American-born Buddhist monk, who didn't think his 12 year old self would listen to a message along the lines of 'Hey, what you're doing is kind of making things suck for me right now' --- he would send a message to himself by adding extra lyrics to a song he really liked when he was in junior high school. I got the best replies from a large class at UC Santa Cruz. The modal answer was 'Buy Microsoft.' About 7% of the class said 'Enjoy yourself in high school because college is really hard.' Another 7% said "Study harder in high school because college is really hard.' (The best variant on that theme: 'Try to figure out what "studying" is'). In the hindsight-is-20/20 dept. there was a girl who said 'Do not date the following people...' and then listed six names and a guy who said 'You know how you're thinking about trying to drive your dad's car? Don't!.' My personal favorite: 'You're a dork now, but don't worry, you'll be cool when you're in college.'"

hrm..

Drugs are bad...mmmkay

Re:hrm..

Wear sunscreen.

Re:hrm..

Avoid links that inlcude the word 'goat' in them.

Dear Self

Dear Self,

You are 12 years old now and are starting to feel deeply your own inner voice... listen to it! Your creativity is beginning is beginning to flourish so do anything, everything you can to express yourself. Take chances. Don't do it for anyone else, do it for yourself. And if someone happens to critisize you for having your head in the clouds, or being weird, don't listen to them! Follow this inner muse and you will be richly rewarded with a happy life and lots of money.

Your parents mean well, so try to understand that at least their heart is in the right place. If you strongly disagree with them, I suggest at the vert least you keep reserve that strength for yourself and not for battling your parents. It will only cause both you and them needless amounts of grief. Experiment and get away with what you can, and if you get caught, do your best to at least play the part of the "good son". They don't need to know everything you're up to, because you are a life long quest of exploration and adventure and the fun is only getting started.

Good luck, and may you reach the stars before I do.

You older self,

Paul

Planet P Blog [planetp.cc]

Re:hrm..

It's called a tension sheet. Get a patent on it.

Tell yourself in the past to ....

send a message to yourself in the past by the time you reach a certain age (i.e. 24).

advice

register slashdot.org

Re:advice

What, for a $100 buyout?

Cocacola.com would get you millions.

nike.com

reebok.com

Disney.com

just run down the Fortune 500 list back in 1991 and squat like a pro. Remember to put a "fan page" on each of them so the courts can't yank it.

"This si my coca Cola page! I LOVE COKE!
Herei s a pic of me drnking coke!!"

Re:advice

"Herer is a pikture of me smoking coke."

Re:advice = Paradox

I would tell myself to not register slashdot.org as doing so would mean there is no slashdot to ask this question and thus I couldn't have made the initial change thus causing a paradox.

Oh... and stay away from the airport ( especially the guy with the blonde wig and sunglasses )

Re:advice = Paradox

I'd tell the 12-year old me the same thing that the 30-year old me told me when I was 12.

no no..

goatse.cx .. Please young version of me, register that domain and save me from having an image imprinted on my mind forever.

register? Domain name? WTF?

register slashdot.org

To which 12yr old me would say:
What the hell does register mean, and what is slashdot.org?

33yroldme: It is a website
12yroldme: What the hell is a website?
33yroldme: You know the internet.
12yroldme: What the hell is the internet?
33yroldme: A bunch of computers hooked up together to share information.
12yroldme: What the hell is a computer?
33yroldme: You know, a personal computer.
12yroldme: No, I have no idea what you are talking about.
33yroldme: It is a screen, like a TV, and you can do all kinds of things on it, like playing games.
12yroldme: Oh, in your house, like an Atari?
33yroldme: Yeah, sort of, but they are all over the world too.
12yroldme: Oh, you mean in the arcade like a Pac-Man machine? And that new game, Pole Position? That game is cool. It is so realistic! Or Joust, that game is fun because two people can play at once. I have only played it a couple of times because it is brand new. There is always a line for it.
33yroldme: Dude, nevermind. Have fun.

Re:register? Domain name? WTF?

Hey asshead, this guy was 12 in 1982. The only people who had computers in 82 were rich geeky college kids and big companies. Just because you were 12 in 1998 doesn't mean everyone was.

No need to call someone an asshead. There are many instances of folks who owned computers back then and they were not rich or part of a big company. I mowed lawns for two years and purchased my first computer, an Apple ][+ in 1981. At the time, we were definately not well to do. That computer got me my first job ( at age 12 in 1982) at our local school of medicine as the tech support guy (before that was a title) for all the MD's and PhD's running Visicalc and such on their Apples and TRS-80's.

Re:register? Domain name? WTF?

12yroldme: What the hell is the internet?
30yearoldme: It's kind of like a giant BBS, with unlimited porn.
12yearoldme: Mind if I take notes?

Advice to 12 year old self

"You know what, just forget it, you won't listen to anything i say anyway..."

or...

..."Stop masturbating so much. My eyesight is terrible 10 years from now.."

My advice to my 12-yr-old self?

Kill Yourself Now.

Yeah, that's right, kill yourself, you heard me.

I want to find out if a fundamental paradox really causes the universe to end! I mean, suicide is not my bag, but if I had the chance to take all of you with me...

Re:My advice to my 12-yr-old self?

Keep your fingerprints off their files! Blow HS and learn Hydroponics. Learn Spanish. Your history teacher is lying.

P.S. All that stuff you think about when you're high, patent it.

Re:My advice to my 12-yr-old self?

Nah, the universe is fractal in nature, every choice branching off into multiple realities, ad infinitum.
The you at age 12 would still exist, as one single event of a miltiple of you before you contacted yourself, none of which would be contacted.
If you did take your own advice (and...would you? I mean I'd tell myself to go fuck myself, personally) then, the you after the point just before you contacted yourself would be wiped out, quite possibly, but the you before you were contacted would still exist, and without the you from the future of that line in time, to pass the fututre message, you wouldn't do it.
In other words, you'd wipe out everything in one possible universe from the point of contact if you did commit suicide, but not before it, and it would still continue from the point where your message fails to appear as if nothing had happened, which of course is true unless you make the same decisions exactly as you did the first time round from that point onward, in that timeline, leading to you contacting yourself in the past, which is not guaranteed not least of which because of a universal cognisance of the event which took place leaving a dissonance in it's wake, spreading backward and outward, so that at least at some point you'd not comply, realising the stupidity of your behaviour and eventually boring yourself/ves of the repetition of the fundementally self-destructive non-beneficial act and get on with doing something more positive instead, tike putting the telly on or something.

Possibly.

Re:My advice to my 12-yr-old self?

Thank you, sir.

I didn't think it was possible, but my brain has tied itself into several knots, and is now leaking out my nose.

Re:My advice to my 12-yr-old self?

I mean I'd tell myself to go fuck myself, personally

Which you could, literally.

My Message to 12-year old self:

Train your left hand for next year.

Re:My Message to 12-year old self:

...than lern ta spel gooder.

Re:My Message to 12-year old self:

"Remember that new fangled tip your older brother told you about...pulling out. *USE* it! It really works!"

• No it doesn't ... Why do you think your older brother is in this world?

Re:My Message to 12-year old self:

or rather... why do you think your older brother just got married? ;)

Easy!

Don't let Christy Wilson go :)

Advice for my 12 year old self

Never turn down a chance to get laid.

Oh, and buy Cisco stock in 1998 and sell it in Jan 2000.

Period.

THIS IS AMERICA, HOME OF THE LITIGIOUS!

You should SUE girl A for not breaking up with you sooner!

Re:Advice for my 12 year old self

Ha! I can't tell you how many times I regret having sex with someone. The problem is that when I do turn it down (or not take the opportunity) I always regret that.

Now that's a paradox for you

Re:Advice for my 12 year old self

> Oh, and buy Cisco stock in 1998 and sell it in Jan 2000.
>Period.

I tried that and I'm still broke.

So I went back and told my 13-year-old self it was OK to put the Cisco proceeds into something called "Enron", but that he had to sell the Enron in 2001.

And I'm still broke.

Now I gotta go back in time again and tell my 14-year-old self not use the Enron proceeds to buy airline stocks.

I tell ya, ever since Goldman Sachs left the brokerage business and went into temporal mechanics, my life's been a living hell!

Hi..

"Self, in 4 years you're going to meet a really nice girl at a party. This time guy some fucking condoms!"

Hmmm...

As opposed to what other kind of condom?

Slashdot

never visit slashdot.org... hardest addiction to break

easy

don't waste your time reading slashdot; do something useful instead.

My favorite

Mark Twain's quote [brainyquote.com]:

I've never let my school interfere with my education.

get laid

don't pass up the best years of your life. get laid, over and over and over again. there will be time enough for slashdot/computers/programming when you're older and impotent.

err, wait, not that this has happened to me....

Save!

Start saving. Now. Put 15-20% of every penny your earn in the bank (or IRA, or other investments). You'll be debt free and have enough to retire on by the time you're 45.

Sadly, I don't have a time machine, so I'm on the "work until I'm 65" route.

-S

Pennies? Stop shaving pennies!

"Put 15-20% of every penny your earn in the bank"

Maybe so you you don't have to shave/cut your pennies and nickels, you could put 15-20% of every dollar you earn in the bank. I'd hate to deal with all those pennies...

Re:Save!

(::sigh:: the whole modding up vs replying decision.)

I'm trying to give this advice to all my friends who just got their first jobs out of college. Stop buying the new flashy toys, and start putting money away while you can (no real bills to eat up their paycheck). They'll have a lot more freedom later on.

Re:Save!

Saving is good, but living in the future is not living. The now is NOT a means to an end. There is no future, only the present moment.

advice to all 12 year olds

if anybody even looks at you crosseyed, stick a knife in them right away, or word will get around that you're a patsy and it will take you a whole lifetime to live it down.

Advise to myself as a 12 year old...

You're dumb, but that shouldn't be too surprising since you're 12. When you get the chance to enter a running start program as a sophomore, do it. With high school comes stupid heartache, and an early exit will save you lots of heartache.

But, in order to accomplish that, you must ignore your evil best friend, Adam. He will bring you Warcraft II, which will consume an inordinate amount of your time and eventually lead you to Diablo and Starcraft. Which is like heroin to you.

In summary: Get away from high school and addictive Blizzard products.

Watch your links

Never, ever, ever click a goatse.cx link. That image will forever be burned on my retina...shudder....

Re:Watch your links

And even more importantly, NEVER EVER go to Rotten.com. No matter how curious you may be. Don't do it. There are things in the world that you just don't want to see.

I'm Only Eleven...

... you insensitive clod!

Re:I'm Only Eleven...

Then pretend your me for a minute - when that red head in college promises to make you beg if you'll just stay the night, and you say you can't because your math final is at 9 am the next morning and it's your only chance to pass the class... stay the night man! You're going to sleep through your test anyway!

*sigh* True story.

Easiest response ever

"Just do it. You know the smart thing to do and say, don't hold back."

and: "Next Thursdays winning lotto numbers are:..."

-Matt

Re:Easiest response ever

and: "Next Thursdays winning lotto numbers are:..."

I read a study recently (I tried googling for it and couldn't find it) that basically tracked lottery winners over a five year period following their wins. It said that when they first recieved their money their overall happiness jumped a great deal, as described here [warwick.ac.uk]. It then tracked their happiness for the remaining five years.

The interesting part is that almost uniformally every single winner's happiness receded back to what it was before they won. It seems that everyone has a "base happiness" that cannot be altered by material things in the long term. I believe that everyone needs enough money for sustenance and comfort, and after that it's all vanity.

Follow your dreams early in life...

Follow your dreams early in life...they are easier to achieve when you start earlier.

this one's easy

Dear 12 year old me,

Someday your mom is gonna want to "get rid of some of your old junk" by which she means baseball cards, your first gen Transformers, and probably those really nice old school metal Tonka trucks. Do NOT let her!

Thanks,

your 24 year old self

Hmmm

Considering that I can't really remember much about being 12, even though I'm only 18 now, I'd probably tell myself to go do something interesting.

Oh, and I'd probably tell myself to go on that bike ride with katie, she might be a bit wierd but she's also damn hot, and that kind of thing doesn't happen as often as TV makes you think it will.

Re:Hmmm

Considering that I can't really remember much about being 12, even though I'm only 18 now

How about: "Hey self, stop smoking so much dope. Your memory will be shot by the time you're 18"

Parents

Dear Self: You know all those things that you're hiding from your parents (report cards, alcohol, drugs, women) so they won't find out? Well, they already know. Have a good day!

Re:Parents

That kind of falls into what what I would tell myself:

"This is going to scare the shit out of you, and you'll probably think I'm the devil himself for telling you this, but EVERYTHING your parents ever tell you to do or not do is dead on the money. Your problems are not completely unique, and your parents have been there and know the easiest way out. ALWAYS take their advice. You've gotta make your own mistakes, but you can avoid the truly bibilical fuck ups if you just listen to your folks."

I can still remember the day this thought occured to me. I think I shuddered, fell out of my car, and went trembling into the fetal position.

Re:Parents

While I agree with this advice in many cases, there is one little annoyance with the advice:

Until the thought occurs to you independently, you won't believe it anyway.

It's wonderful to be one of those people that learns from other people mistakes, rather than taking the time to make them all yourself... but some things you seem to have to just figure out on your own.

My advice would generally be more "do things" rather than "avoid things". Oh, and don't worry about looking stupid and feeling self-conscious, do it anyway. :)

Talking to my Inner 12 year old

1. Get in shape - I started lifting weights too late in life and ended up hurting myself.

2. Invest in Intel, Microsoft, Apple and Cisco - 100 bucks in each company

3. Learn spanish

4. When you have that desire to drive 120 mph out on Highway 212 - don't, there might be a South Dakota Highway Patrolman there in the dark

5. Take more math classes

6. Take more automotive, welding and shop classes

7. Work to get out of high school in 3 years.

8. Girls come and go, don't get to wound up in a 17 year old chick

9. Don't buy a bunch of tapes or CDs now, Napster will come along someday

Easy enough...

"Skip the computers -- play some football or something. And start chasing the girls *now*."

-b

that girl

Not to my 12 yr old self, but to my 17 yr old self I'd say: "you know that slutty girl who is trying to get on you but who you keep turning down because you think she might have something...well, she does in the future, but not now, so get it while the gettin's good!

In all honesty, that's what I'd say. Rather shallow, I know.

Simple

Hakunamatata....It doesn't matter, it's in the past.

I am who I am today because of the trials and tribulations of "growing up." To make any changes to that would result in a completly different person.

I needed to be a nerd in High School to learn self pride and relaince...I needed to get my heart broken once in college to learn my alcohol tolerances.. After that you pick up your pieces and move on to bigger and better things.

Re:Of course, what you really want to do is...

Give him last week's Lottery numbers.

in the year when Little Mark is 12 . . .

Big Mark [slashdot.org] to Little Mark: "Last week's winning lottery number are . . . "

Advice..

1: Stay away from the girl up the street, she really is a tramp.

2: Smoke more pot... or is that less

3: Dont invest in Enron or Worldcom.

Seriously, nothing. I didnt make bad choices nor do I regret anything Ive done (except maybe item number 1). Without the life experiences Ive had, I wouldnt be where I am today, which is to say maybe not all that wealthy, but definitly happy. Now if I could give all my knowledge to my 12 year old self it would be a different story...

Re:Advice

Here, take this copy of "Grey's Sports Almanac 1950-2000"...

The past is gone...

You shouldn't worry about what you could have done differently in the past. If you could send yourself a message and actually change something, there would be a whole new branch of problem and mistakes that you would most likely want to change again, and again... and again.

If you don't like something about yourself, don't fret over it. Change it starting now.

Re:The past is gone...

The point is usually to give advice to kids today, not to find some crazy professor and hit 88mph in his DeLorean. I didn't get much help from adults when I was a kid (and every year appreciate my scout master more and more), but maybe I can offer a bit to some today.

Re:The past is gone...

Well, in that case, here's some advice.

In another post I said I wouldn't change anything -- and I wouldn't. But these are things I'd give as advice to generic twelve year olds in a similar position to myself at that age -- a nerdy kid who gets picked on because he's poor, weak, nerdy, and in a fanatical religion.

Become an independent thinker as soon as possible. A good part of your pain comes from the brainwashing of your religious youth. Read _Stranger in a Strange Land_ and _Job: A Comedy of Justice_ before you go to High School. I read them halfway through and they changed my life. Maybe reading them sooner would have prevented some high school pain.

Don't just give your friendship to anybody who is willing to take it. There is a perceived solidarity among those who are downtrodden, but some of those people are real low-lifes and will try to drag you down. It's not really true that the enemy of your enemy is your friend. Pick your friends carefully -- they have a profound influence on you.

Don't count on being lucky and not getting caught. There's nothing wrong with breaking some rules, but don't assume because you've never been caught you can't get caught. Don't get stupid. One mistake at the wrong time can change everything.

Don't confuse your hormones with genuine affection. She's not perfect. She's probably not even perfect for you.

Life is full of unique opportunities. You might die tomorrow. Take those opportunities when you can. Don't assume you're immortal and will have forever to chase those things down.

I'd say...

First off, I'd tell myself to appreciate how worry free life can be when you have no bills to pay. I would tell myself to take advantage of that.

Then I would say the people who were popular at high school weren't actually investing in a skill... And that it didn't matter if I sucked at something when I was 12, the fact that I would start that early would make me phenomenal by the time I was 18 (I distincly remember thinking I couldn't start playing guitar at 15 because I thought I was too old -- WHATEVER).

Apart from that, any advice I'd have to give would be useless (regarding work and girls) because I really think I needed to go through all of that shit for myself - in any case, my father already told me what I would say now.

Relax a little

Spend some of that money you're saving for college and do Spring Break right when you're a freshman or sophmore. You'll never get another chance.

Or go to Europe right out of school. Screw that idea of a job right away. They can wait a couple months.

I would tell myself a few things...

1. Most importantly, you are not always right, contrary to how you feel about most things. Make sure you research things thoroughly before you start to tell other people what you believe is right. There are many arguments you'll win and lose that you'll look back at and smack yourself for being such a wiseass, especially since you were completely wrong.

2. Girls are not worth your time. They are fun while you have them but man you regret it when they are gone. Plus, after you have one, you're hooked.

3. Go to Victoria School of Visual and Performing Arts as soon as you can. You'll be very happy there.

4. Don't drop piano lessons. You'll regret it when all of your friends are cool pianists and you are just starting again.

5. Listen to your father, play cards more often with your father, go out and play sports more with your father. When you leave for university, you'll really miss the few good times you did have with him.

6. Save your money. Don't buy stuff on a whim, make sure you want it first. There are lots of stuff you'll think is cool to own, but later on you'll kick yourself for spending so much on it.

7. Star Trek is not as cool as you think it is.

8. Be nice to your sisters, especially Peggy. You may not approve of her ways, but you can learn a lot from her.

9. Get rid of your damn huge glasses, and get smaller ones or contacts.

10. Stop watching TV, if need be, just use the computer. Full House isn't that good of a series.

11. Exercise more, or do more physical activity. It's worth it.

12. Get involved in the community more. At Vic, get involved in the arts scene more. You'll miss it when you are gone.

That should be enough I think.

But most importantly.

13. Don't fight all the time. You are not right 100% of the time, and it's not worth the stress of the arguments and the loss of friendships when you fight.

That's about it. Plus, you know the usual. Invest in Microsoft, etc.

Do what the hell you want...

Because all adults will tell you is what they wished _they_ had done.

That's easy...

Screw microsoft stock... I'd just tell my 12yr old self who won the major sporting events for the following few years... Money would compound exponentially... Oh.. possibly throw out the idea of patenting anything and everything related to "one click"...

So I says to myself, self...

Given that, at 12, I was entering that period of life where I would do pretty much exactly the opposite of what anyone advised:

1. Don't take algebra, there's no practical use for that stuff.

2. Do all the cocaine you can get your hands on. The eighties will be much more fun that way...

3. Rush out and get laid by the first girl who will do it.

That's a pretty good start...

Heh

Dear Self:

In the future, you are going to write to your nerdy, unpopular self.

In the meantime, think of something witty, cuz this sucks!

Later!

Don't get too hung up on Star Wars...

...because in about 10 years, you're going to be incredibly disappointed.

My advice

Don't spend so much time worrying about and planning for the future--no matter how smart you think you are at 12, or 16, or 20, your plans never work out the way you expect them to--you can only control yourself--not the world around you.

Within reason, enjoy the present, make sensible decisions, and enjoy the time you have, since in the future, you'll look back and wish you had.

Let your first girlfriend go...

...and don't sweat the breakup so much, because you end up marrying the next one. Everything turns out all right.

(actually, this is to my 16-year-old self)

advice to self..

Learn kung fu early..

Have more sex.. girls are not as easy after highschool..

Drop out of highschool..

ignore college..

start a dot com..

sell all your stock in 1999..

never listen to your parents.. what the fsck do they know..

Advice to avoid many later frustrations

Remember the bell curve and where you are on it. That's why most people will not know what the hell you're talking about, and that's why you should cherish the people who do.

12 is too young

In many ways 12 is too young - the best advice in the world is worthless if you don't have the ability to do anything about it.

But a few years later, I have some advice that I would give to my younger self - and that I'm still trying to follow past 40:

1. it's far better to regret things that you've done than things that you didn't risk. (Okay, maybe this isn't the best advice for a teenager...)

2. your PE teacher is an idiot, but time spent on physical fitness is not wasted. Get to the gym. Lift weights. Run. You'll get back the time spent today in increased productivity for years to come.

Nothing that would have made a difference.

I'd say, "Don't worry about getting shot down by girls. You'll never be able to have sex with high school girls again without serious legal consequences. Go for it. Time spent not having sex is time wasted."

Aside from that... life became excellent for me, starting exactly at the end of seventh grade. So I turned things around for myself at the age of 12. It just took the beginnings of some self confidence.

My Advice

FYI: Inflammable means flammable...

I have been doing this, sort of.

Im 30, i have a 15 year old neice. Im her uncle whos a bad influence. She has a very chauvanitsic dad, and an old fashoned mom who goes along with it. SO my sister and I have taken to buying her science related presents, advising her on how to start drinking in college, I taught her how to sharpen a knife properly for the girl scouts, and have basically told her all the stuff that i wish i had known at 15. Sex hasnt come up yet, but she hasnt asked.

Tourism

Go to the top of the WTC on September 9, 2001. LEAVE NEW YORK THE NEXT DAY.

Games

Considering how much time I spent playing games in my youth and how much school I skipped as a result, I'd probably tell my 12 year old self this...

"You're going to lose the Quake match that you skipped your High School graduation dance to play in, and you're going to feel like a big dork for doing so. Go to the dance dumbass."

Take risks

I've learned that any embaressment incurred in Jr. High and High School don't really matter later on. So take the chance when you are afraid of being embaressed, in the long run you only have something to gain.

Listen, listen well

1) The nerdy girl in your morning science class is going to be beautiful at 22 when you run into her in college. The hot little girl in your homeroom will be neither.

2) Don't, don't, don't think it'll be a good idea to use the dog clippers to trim the top of your head. You'll miss and need to make up some excuse that you were checking for 666.

3) Don't use silicone spray to lubricate the lawnmower. The gases are very flammable and you'll singe your lungs.

4) Have absolutely no moral dillemma about having fun with your girlfriend's hot little friend. Your girlfriend will dump you a week later for the SWAT sergeant.

5) Late at night, when everything is dark, do not blindly drink from the 1/2 gallon plastic jug in the back of the fridge. It will *look* like lemonade, but....

6) Have fun. Have lots of fun. Take lots of classes, even ones you don't need.

Hmm..

I really think I'd just tease my 12 year old self who'd be sitting there playing NES, with fantastic tales of the Gamecube and PS2, and then disappear into the night.

Hey...Self...

...who gives a rat's ass what you're doing now, look at me! I can message myself at 12 years old! How cool is that?!

(Modified my original post)

High School sucks then things improve

I would tell myself that the next few years of school are going to be uncomfortable socially but that it won't be the end of the world. College is much better and things seem to get better still after that.

Our society's glamorization of high school is sickening to me. All these movies and tv shows portray high school as the apex of one's life. This is simply a lie. If high school is the highlight of your life then something is very very sad and/or wrong.

Other than that I wouldn't tell myself too much. It would ruin the surprises. I certainly wouldn't tell myself who I was going to marry for instance. In fact doing so would probably prevent it from happening.

Tamagotchi

dear 12 year old self: just let it die [aol.com]

Find a guy named Bill Gates

and introduce him to girls and beer in high school. He'll never get anything done.

Dear 12 year old self...

Dear 12 year old self,

Buy AT&T stock

Patent Gui interface, operating system for personal computer, graphical interface assembled from text tags, one-click shopping, auction over a network, business over a network, sound and video over a network and then don't enforce them, saying the world is free to do with these as they please.

Don't spend so much time reading slashdot.

Get a summer job in a national park, to meet girls!

Spend at least a year travelling overseas.

Read Watership Down every spring.

Do not trade in your vinyl records for CDs

Set a doctor appointment on June 19th, 1986

Don't stress it, you'll survive.

Invest in a better bicycle.

Spend more time in the glow of the sun and moon, less in the glow of a CRT

Some thoughts

1. Your dad is not a dope. Tell him that what you want more than anything in the world is to be able to spend more time with him. He will be dead before you are thirty and it will be too late.

2. You're not as smart as you think you are. Coasting through jr high/high school will make college a LOT harder. Learn how to learn now because you will need those skills the rest of your life, and largely your ability to earn a living is directly correlated to assimilation of technical information and people skills.

3. Most importantly, being a Christian is NOT about going to church or getting a "get out of hell free card." Jesus Christ wants you to serve Him with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Your current approach of "how much can I get away with and still go to heaven" doesn't work now, and won't work for the rest of your life.

Peace, contentment, and real/deep/meaningful relationships are found when your greatest desire is to please God and serve Him.

Re:Some thoughts

Well, since you asked....
There's a popular myth that heaven will be like a philadelphia cream cheese commercial - pretty people with wings on their backs sittng on clouds doing absolutely nothing.

Heaven will not be like that. Not at all.

Think of the experience in life that gives you the greatest satisfaction.

Heaven will be better than that. The God who designed you knows what you need and what will satisfy your deepest longings. Once you are in His presence, they will be fulfilled.

We all worship something. We were created to worship God. Some of us do and others find substitutes. The substitute never satisfies, but still we tell ourselves that it will. Sugar-free soft-serve yogurt is nowhere near the same thing as real honest-to-goodness ice cream.

Sex, money, power, fame, hacking....
All promise to fill the ache inside, and they can distract you from the discomfort and uneasiness of life, but the ache returns as quickly as hunger pangs briefly quieted by a glass of water.

Why would I want to go to heaven? I was made to worship God and enjoy His presence. Here in this life I'm limited by my humanness. There I won't be. I will be unencumbered to relate to God the way that my heart desires.

The alternative to heaven is to be separated from everything that even promises to salve that ache. In terms of eternity, outside of heaven there will be nothing comparable to love, peace, joy, or even music. I guess the question is - why would you not want to go to heaven?

Respectfully,
Anomaly

10 undeniable truths to life, so listen up!

1. Dont be nice to girls, they wont respect you and will sleep with men who are mean to you and tell you all about it, while never giving you any.

2. Sleep with everything that moves, knowing that as you make more money, the women get prettier. If you dont like the girls who like you, make more money!

3. STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY!

4. Under no circumstances ever consider marriage unless you reach 30 and make less than 150K a year. If you are younger and/or make more, your options for trim are too good to settle for just one chick regardless of what you look like.

5. Dont buy a Mac.

6. Just because you will love Java, doesn't mean you can ever do anything productive with it. Stick with C++ and dont be afraid of garbage collection and pointers.

7. Everyone you think is cool, will be washing your car, turning down your hotel bed, and bringing you meals in 20 years, if you refuse to be like them now.

8. Those big tits you love so much right now, will be hanging around her navel in 25 years. Learn to like the flat girls.

9. Once you make decent money, you will forget all that crap about the environment, compassion and helping others, so why waste your time now?

10. Everyone does it, anyone who says they dont is lying.

girls girls girls

Hey, you know all those girls who think they're hot shit right now? in four years, they'll all be skanky sluts who still think they're hot shit--treat them like the skanks they are and they'll be putty in your hands. They'll stay that way until they're about 25. Then you can be nice to girls again.

Things I would tell my 12 year old self

1. Buy lots of stock in Qualcomm in 1999 for $50/share and sell it all in 2000 for $600/share.
2. Don't have sex with the weird chick with the really short hair.
3. DO have sex with the blonde that drives an Audi
4. Learn to do calculus before the calc midterm.
5. Don't drive through a certain intersection on May 4th 2001.
6. Get in lots of trouble with the cops before you turn 18 so that it stays on your juvenile record. Remember kids - after 18, it stays on your rap sheet for life.

What about...

"here's how I invented the mechanism to send you a message back in time. It only works for a certain number of years in the past, though. I need you to send this info back to Grandpa, so that he will invent it, our corporation will patent it, and we'll rule the world!"

Do not do too good on tests

The one thing I would tell myself is try and purposly get a low, just passing grade on tests.
When you know you can get a A, it is very easy to just make mistakes on purpose, you know you are good, but other people won't know.

I found people are more nicer to you when you get low grades, and it took me too long to find this out.

Your grades will have nothing to do with your future as no employer will look at them.

Note to future self

Older people only appear to have their acts together.

You won't be the first nerd to lose their virginity in their 20's.

You are not as weird as you think you are.

You are not as weird as Michael Jackson.

PSST HEY KID

PSSST Hey kid, come here...

Ya I know Ronald and Nancy Reagan are saying "Don't talk to strangers" right now, but trust me, i'm not a stranger i'm you from the future...

Unless you do something now, your life is pretty much going to be washed down the toilet by your parents. Your mom is going to institutionalize you so she can legally keep you from your father. Your father is going to send you to a boarding school for rich fuckups where you're going to start smoking marijuana, and eventually when you reach 15 you will be homeless living under the Hamilton av. bridge in campbell because both parents want you locked up so you can't turn them in for child abuse.

Go ask grandma if you can live with her right now. Instead of asking her for that turbografx-16 with the CD drive, get yourself a 286. You're going to meet a new friend down the street with just as much passion and interest in the computer craft as you, leverage on each others strength and learn all you can.

I'm sorry about all the shit mom and dad put you through. I really wish I could take a baseball bat to their heads, but I'm grown up now, and I have a responsibility to myself not to do that. Anyways kiddo, don't let it get you down because eventually when you grow up, you'll have a sick ass job making a ton of money, a good wife, and your own life that you can live how you see fit. Did you know most people don't blow up at small shit? You learned that agressive behavior from dad, i'm telling you now so can start working on it now, instead of 10 years down the road.

C'mon, i'll take you to grandma's myself. She'll take good care of you I promise.

A good beating

I was so uncool when I was twelve, if I could go back in time I'd probably beat myself up...

Another challenge.

What do you think you'd like your future self to tell you now?

You know all those dorks around you now?

Well, they're going to college too, on sports "scholarships". Get used to the idea now and when you get there you can skip the disappointment phase and enjoy your freshman year a lot more.

If you do that you'll discover that college professors ( at least the good ones) aren't authority figures. They're actually *teachers,* and are quite willing to be your friend as well. Even when things get rocky. Find the good ones and cultivate them.

You aren't really socially inept. You've matured early. This puts you about 20 to 30 years ahead of the curve. When you hit 40 or so people will suddenly think you're "cool" not because of any change in you, but because they've finally caught up. So don't sweat not fitting in with people who are, essentially, still savages.

KFG

Go to California.

Hey, Self....

In 10 years you're going to graduate from college. Assuming that you still pretty much refuse to practice the oboe, you're gonna be a CS Engineer.

Do yourself a favor. It's 1997. Put off grad school, and move to California for two years. Maybe three.

Then go to grad school, but skip the Ph.D, and get your Masters. You're going to wind up bailing anyway.

My advice to any 12 year old.... (anybody really)

Learn to love who you are.

If you are comfortable with yourself then you can be comfortable with other people.

Treat yourself and others with respect.

If you are comfortable with other people they will realize that you have it together and they will treat you with respect. People pick up easily on how others expect them to act... if you expect people to treat you with respect, chances are they will.

Those that lose your respect, ignore. Not in the sense that you pretend they don't exist, just don't waste energy dealing with them. You have much better things to do with your time than be mad at other people. It usually doesn't accomplish anything except to raise your blood pressure and give you ulcers and heart attacks.

Angry people are too focused on what is wrong and miss out on many things that are good. Don't be angry. If you need to work out some agression then get some exercise and think happy thoughts.

If you make someones day better there is a good chance that they will make somebody elses day better and the world will get better bit by bit. If you go around making other people's days worse then eventually the whole world will be filled with angry people.

One person can make a difference.

Take Better Care of Your Teeth....

....Because you can ruin them before you even knew what happened. And pester your parents to get you braces now, no matter how much you think they will hurt.

Also....dont try to be cool. Dont change yourself to impress other people...

On a more serious note...

I know its easy to go the "+1 Funny" route here and tell everyone to get ready to jerk off a lot and buy stock in [some company that will explode with profits], but after thinking about this for awhile, I've deduced my advice to a sentence:

Don't take shit.

My life from 12-17 generally consisted of me putting up with bullying, putting up with being put down, putting up with people who had no business trying to tell me what to do, and even when they had that right, they did it all the wrong way. A little standing up for yourself goes a long way.

What would I tell myself? When that bully picks on you, punch him in the face as hard as you can. Go Ender on him--don't stop until they pull you off of him. I guarantee that he'll never try it again, yet this amazing fact eluded me, and I just assumed that no matter what I did, and that included fighting back, that I would be stuck in my little hole of miserableness forever.

Don't let your boss walk all over you. When I entered the "corporate world," also known as the Full Time Job, my little "Computer Operator" job got me nothing but headaches and more miserableness. Just when I thought I had escaped the clutches of bullies and put downs, here comes Office Politics to screw it all up again. Suddenly my boss would take credit for all my work and leave me hung out to dry when I made a mistake, holding myself up to the whole place as an example of How To Screw Up Rightly. The more I think about it, the more it hurts in the futility of it all.

Did I ever finally grow some gumption and let it fly? Sure. But it was far too late. The damage had been done, and this fantastic article [paulgraham.com] rang so true my ears are still ringing. I told off my old boss, let the higher ups know what was going on, and moved on to greener pastures. I settled down, found a wonderful wife and now have a gorgeous 8 month old daughter who I value more than my own life. And I'll be sure to let her know, when she turns 12, that life isn't about the microcosm of high school, or the inmates, er, students in it.

My greatest hope would be that my 12 year old self would be, at the very least, left alone. And that's more than most depressed, repressed teenagers get.

In the late 90's...

...watch for a site called 'slashdot' to appear.

Register immediately. Get ID #001.

Wait until 2003. Go to a site called 'ebay'. Sell [ebay.com] said slashdot ID. Let your mind boggle that you now have $81.

Go into the kitchen...

Go into the kitchen and drink everything under the sink. Completely. Even the stuff that burns your mouth.

It will uh... raise your Charisma to 18!

-----

don't be a wimp

1) Everyone has been, and will keep telling you, to turn the other cheek.
Everyone is full of shit.
Trust yourself and stand up for yourself--even if it gets you in trouble. Nobody else cares more about your life than they do about their own. Challenge everything, especially those who challenge you.

2) Don't be afraid to piss people off.
Not everyone understands the same concepts of right and wrong that you do; not everyone shares your goals or respects your rights to them. If you wait for handouts, you get leftovers; if you wait for respect, you get pity. Trust your heart to tell you what you want, and don't let other people's agendas impede your progress (this includes your family) (see #1).

3) Everyone is bluffing. Nobody is really as cool or put-together or powerful as you think they are--or at the very least, you are a match for them. Never question your ability to compete.

4) You should bluff, too. Act like you have a right to what you want, and people will believe you (most people don't realize #3). And if someone tries to call your bluff, never back down. Herein lies the power to do and be whatever you want in life. Try it, it works.

5) Your parents are lousy role models or I wouldn't have to be telling you these things. You're going to have to go outside of your family to find the inspiration and support you need to be successful in life.

yeah, yeah, mark me down for trolling

> Advice You Would Give to Your 12 Year-Old Self?

but I just have to point out that Self [sun.com] is neither "12-year old" nor "Mine"..

Harlan Ellison to HIS 12 Year-Old Self:

Harlan Ellison wrote a really marvelous speculative fiction tale about just this topic, so for his response to this, hunt up a copy of the short story "One Life, Furnished In Early Poverty."

Don't wait...

Don't wait for Duke Nukem Forever.

The title is more suitable than you'll ever comprehend.