Cube Farm Ordnance? 43
In a humorous departure from the normal question fare, B747SP asks: "In my office, we have a healthy disrespect for the comfort and safety of our colleagues, and the accompanying arms race is strong, and competitive. We've tried everything from hurling balls of paper back and forth, to stress balls, flying torpedoes, Nerf weaponry al-la thinkgeek.com, and even Air Soft guns (I did say no respect for safety!!!).
OK, so that's my office. What about other Slashdotters? What ordnance do you use in your office to keep that sucker in the next cube on his toes? Do you build your weapons from stuff around the office, or do you buy from a store?"
Think beach ballz. And Razor scooters. (Score:3)
Re:Party Crackers... (Score:2)
_____________
Make foam swords (Score:2)
Lather, rinse, repeat. Swordfights generally require a space to fight it, but the best fighters can fight as effectively inside or between cubicles as they can in an open area.
Plus you can fight over design decisions.
"Sir! You insult my work when you add the paperclip to the software!"
"It makes the program easier for the users. Cower to my usability, fiend!"
"Hold thy tongue, knave! I Challenge you to a duel!"
-Adam
Let's build some for gore, bush, cheney, and leiberman... I'd like to see them go at it. For each blow they have to insult a program or policy of the other...
move over, Wile E. Coyote... (Score:1)
What I have in my desk are some samples from Aero Rubber [aerorubber.com], specifically samples of their rubber bands [aerorubber.com]. Not impressed, you say? Take a look at the specs of the 4 samples I have:
Essentially, I could either flick my enemies with the biggest elastic band they've ever seen (I'm sure putting an eye out isn't hard at all for these things), or a better idea would probably to use these as a launching mechanism for other things like kooshes, stale doughnuts, fruit, empty paper boxes, and the like.
Just drop them an e-mail asking about them, and you're more than likely to get some samples in the mail. I didn't even ask, and I got a whole bunch. Oh, the power..
"There's a party," she said,
"We'll sing and we'll dance,
It's come as you are."
Re:Nerf Wildfire (Score:2)
Re:move over, Wile E. Coyote... (Score:1)
(Really scared the crap out of a couple of people in my area)
Sneak attacks and Killer/Assassin (Score:1)
We used to do the booby-traps too. A couple business cards, rubber bands, and tape and you can rig up something to launch confetti from a drawer or overhead bin.
Steve Jackson Games [sjgames.com] sells rules for the old Assassin or Killer [sjgames.com] game. They have some good ideas and links to Nerf weaponry.
Re:Rubber Bands (Score:2)
Also amusing was building soda can pyramids and trying to knock them over from the other end of the lab, however, a successful shot never failed to draw managerial attention.
More fun weaponry (Score:2)
One of our clients is a large novelty wholesale company, and our boss obtained a case of those white paper snapper thingies--y'know, the ones with gravel and about two grains of gunpowder within, that you throw on the ground. That Monday the entire office became a war zone. Boss and Alpha Tech were running around throwing them at each other. Receptionist sat at her desk wearing an expression that said I am so not amused. I snuck out and requisitioned a couple packages for the Web room. Imagine Boss and Alpha Tech's surprise when one of them would try to use the Web room as a bunker. *POW!* "AAAH!" "Hee."
DISCLAIMER: Careful with these. It's all fun and games till someone loses an eye, and then it's all fun because the game's over.
Re:I had some nerf stuff for a while (Score:1)
Nerf?
When I was a lad ... "we had to use wood, and rocks!"
No, really, back in primary school, in grade six (equiv. last year of elementary school), the office supplies, rather, school supplies arms race was flourishing.
One disingenious boy went around snipping off the ends of people's shoelaces (aglets?), with a 1/2 inch tuft of fraying shoelace still attached. Pushed into the end of this went a small *pin*, so that the head of the pin was embedded in the tuft of shoelace, and the 'business end' of the pin poking out of the bound end of the aglet. Insert into drinking straw, puff cheeks, blow.
~~ ~~ ~/-----------------\~~ ~~ ~|` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` `|
~~ ~ ~||- - - - pin - - -|---------
~ ~~~ ~| ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` |
~ ~ ~~~\-----------------/
| tuft | . . . aglet . . |
(After drawing this out I've realised it looks like some kind of SABOT munition, or one of those nasty 'illegal' anti-personnel machine gun 'flechettes'. As the twig is bent so grows the arms industry?)
I'm surprised more people weren't maimed or blinded with this device, but it shows that even schoolchildren know not to do *really* stupid stuff. And seeing how they were made from sharp metal, they looked really cool sticking into the (plastered) ceiling in the school hall, in the blackboards, desks ...
Easier to come by, and slightly more 'legal' to fire at your fellow classmate, was the small paper pellet. Any small piece of paper, Post-It size, torn in half, and then folded over a number of times, becomes a small, hard, projectile, that can be launched with a rubber band. The thinner bands worked better because they fit inside the pellet. Experiment with the folding to ensure a snag-free launch: improperly folded pellets can misfire by up to 180 degrees. If you use real PostIts, you can use the gummed edge to bind the pellet together.
1. Cut in half|-----------------| . |--------|
|########|########| . |########|
|#################| . |########|
| ' . '
| . ' . ' . ' . ' | . |. ' . ' | 2. fold
| ' . '
| . ' . ' . ' . ' | . |. ' . ' | - - - -
| ' . '
| . ' . ' . ' . ' | . |. ' . ' |
|--------|--------| . |--------| -------
|--------| . . . . . |--------| 4. Fold up once
|########| . . . . . |########| more and use
|########| ------- . |########| gummed edge to
| ' . '
| . ' . '| - up- - . |--------| the freshness'.
| ' . '
|--------| -------
Fold in half lengthways to create your U-shaped, low-cost elastic band munition. Loop rubber band around thumb and first finger of your 'non-triggger' hand. Use your 'trigger' hand to load the pellet, and draw back and hold to aim. Shoot to kill, team.
Who says you don't learn any life skills at school?
Alex Webb
Adult Delinquent
alexwebb@eisa.net.au
Re:My favorite weapons... (Score:1)
I have found that to get some nerf guns to shoot twice as far, use a piece of tape over the hole near the end of the barrel, then take a dart, pull the head off, and hot-glue a dime to it, I use it on my little sister all the time
My favorite weapons... (Score:2)
My personal favorites:
Lock n' Load - Modified, this is *the best* pistol-style weapon out there. Great range, extremely short reload time. Cons: Discontinued, VERY difficult to find. (I got lucky in Canada.)
SuperMAXX 1500 - 4-shot sniper weapon of doom if you replace the barrels with 1/2-inch Sched. 40 PVC pipe and load micros down said barrels. Can also shoot the original SM ammo well, and megas reasonably well, also the venerable homemade Stefan dart. (Careful, tho - Stefans in a supercharged 1500 can put dents in doors. I'd stick with micros or SM darts when indoors.) Discontinued, but only recently and still relatively easy to find.
SuperMaxx 250/350 - Throw away the darts that come with it, use micros, and stretch the spring if you can. Best used as a backup weapon.
I also own:
Power Clip - Great for the fear factor, but you're fucked as soon as those 10 darts are out. Reload time is horrible. Can only shoot micros, and eats them like anything.
Splitfire - Replacing the barrels with PVC and plugging the pressure release valve (end of the plunger) with glue is a necessity. After this it can compete somewhat with the LnL. Like the 1500, can shoot a wide variety of ammo, but not nearly as far. Also, it's unreliable. A combination of a leaky pump valve and a diaphragm-style trigger system (A small loss of pressure in the air tank causes the rest of the air to be released in the barrel.) have rendered one of the two barrels of my SF inoperable.
My wishlist:
Crossbow. (Yeah, right... They're impossible to find nowadays...)
Big Bad Bow - Nearly as good as the X-bow, it looks like these are getting re-released. (They've reappeared on nerf.com) Some people on NerfOnline have come up with an excellent breech-loading barrel modification for this.
Oh, in the case of both of the bow weapons - modify them to fire darts instead of arrows.
Re:Last time I worked in a cube farm... (Score:1)
In this case, it was a guy who drummed along to Salsa music. And we didn't have proper desks, but tables connected to the cube wall, so his drumming made my monitor wobble. And there were the loud conferences right outside my cubicle. And the people who sat on another coworkers table and made my monitor bounce even more. And the lousy ventilation that meant everybody had fans, most of which were improperly shielded so my monitor kept wobbling even when nobody was drumming or sitting on tables. And the ceiling ventilator that gave off a horrible high pitched screech all the time.
And that's not even starting in on the problems with the management and project direction...
I find the indirect approach much more satisfying (Score:1)
Buy 1 box ex-lax. Buy 1 box Quality Street Chocolates. Eat chocolates, saving wrappers. Wrap ex-lax. Let your imagination take you from here.
Or, bring a bottle of tobasco sauce to work. Unattended coffee cups and yet-unused teabags make great targets.
As I am currently involved in an ongoing dispute, I would appreciate any and all suggestions for amusing (non-destructive) pranks that I may play on my cubemates.
Re:War at work (Score:1)
I've got to try and find the bastard first. I'll have a look when I get home tonight.
Any suggestions as to where I can post the picture on the web. I don't have my own web page and don't think my boss would be too happy if I /.ed his server over this.
Re:I find the indirect approach much more satisfyi (Score:1)
Another alternative, albeit much slower, is the burial by junk mail. Find all the mail in reply cards you can and send them with your targets name and office address. This one is truly a gift that keeps on giving.
Re:Rubber Bands (Score:2)
He promptly shot himself in the eye.
We never let him forget that.
Re:I had some nerf stuff for a while (Score:1)
Did something very similar with sucker/lollipop sticks -- the rolled paper kind, not the hollow plastic ones -- cut into half inch pieces, with a pin through the centre, blown through a ballpoint pen barrel.
Also (though not at school) had some fibreglass tubes about 4ft long with inner diameter about 3/8 inch. Push-pins (the ones with the large cylinderish handles, like the cross-section of a rail) fired through would stick nicely in walls and similarly soft things.
Re:My favorite weapons... (Score:2)
People also will put rubber bands on the plunger, which (unlike the strings) *will* add power.
The dart you describe is *very* similar to a "Stefan" dart.
Stefan dart is:
5/8-in. foam backing rod cut to the approx. length of a dart. (Or in many cases, shorter - they seem to fly better.)
Lead weight (fishing sinker) hot-glued into a hole in the front.
For a bit of added safety, I add a felt pad over the top of the weight.
I had some nerf stuff for a while (Score:2)
War at work (Score:4)
I once got dared to make a working weapon out of things that could be found in the office. I wasn't allowed to use anything from outside the office at all (not the materials, nor the tools to build it), and I had to do it in an hour.
I ended up building a miniture cross-bow that shot real life arrows a distance of about 2 meters on a relatively true path.
It worked so well that Above my desk there would be a collection of about half a dozen projectiles stuck in the pinboard-like ceiling panels.
How did I make it?
Basically it was constructed out of the metal clips used to hold together reams of paper which have been punched to fit in a ring binder. You know the things that go where the rings in a ring binder would usually go.
The clip was made out of aluminium and came in 3 parts.
I had to find a way to attach the cross sectoin to the barrel. I did this by using a hammered out T-Clip. I then attached a rubber band across the cross section of the bow, cut arrow heads into the projectiles and wolla... A miniture cross bow.
Alas! (Score:1)
I get up regularly to stretch, and I look out across the top of the cubes, and there's nothing... I expect, with all the times I've looked, that I would at least see someone else looking out across as well, but no! It's a barren wasteland of... productivity? Perhaps...
The "director of web communications" or whatnot *does* have a decent little collection of nerf weaponry, however... I have yet to see any in action, though.
My one consolation is bagel day... On thursdays we get free bagels and muffins. I tend to average two bagels and two muffins. I think most people only take one item, which is strange to me...
I don't understand my coworkers! They don't look around over the cubes and they don't take full advantage of the free food! Ah well, it's nothing more than a time-filler for me, right now. When I get a real job, I'll be sure it's fun...
Last time I worked in a cube farm... (Score:2)
AIRSOFT?!?! (Score:1)
What kind are you allowed to have in the office?
-Tim
Re:Alas! (Score:2)
I get up regularly to stretch, and I look out across the top of the cubes, and there's nothing... I expect, with all the times I've looked, that I would at least see someone else looking out across as well, but no! It's a barren wasteland of... productivity? Perhaps...
If you tried that at my company, you'd most likely be nailed in the head by the big brother of the flyingtorpedos mentioned above. (Sorry, no URL, the guy who orders them for us has already gone home.) We played with them so much that most of them broke so we sent in another order. Our VP of engineering matched us up to $100 worth and our Den Mother bought us another case. We're looking at ~200 rockets arriving next week.
Of course we have our fair share of Nerf guns. There's a Ping Pong Ball Burp gun a couple cubes down. My solution for self defense has been camoflage netting over the top of my cube. At least that keeps out the indirect fire. Not much you can do about a WildFire firing squad.
We're currently trying to come up with a design for a belt-fed Nerf gun. And somehow we still manage to bring our projects in on schedule.
Throwin' choclate (Score:2)
what we do (Score:3)
Other than that, we go into the Pine Barrens each year and shoot one another with paintballs. About a year ago, a colleague and myself each had windowless offices. Somebody with a window had just left the company and we were both asking if we could have it. Our president suggested that we fight it out with paintball guns. Luckily, a more senior person came to the firm and got the office, so no one had to get bruised.
Rubber Bands (Score:2)
Blowing each other to bits with Quake 3 Arena (Score:1)
Re:Last time I worked in a cube farm... (Score:2)
Vortex! (Score:2)
/ZL
Nerf Wildfire (Score:1)
Slingshots and marshmallows (Score:1)
Re:I find the indirect approach much more satisfyi (Score:1)
Back door opened ...BAM!
Pulled his chair out from under his desk...BAM!
Came storming into my empty office (I was the obvious culprit...)BAM!
Didn't break him of the habit of sloughing off but it's been fun ever since talking about how things tend to explode around him..
Had to declare a DMZ at work... (Score:3)
I was impressed, however, at the ingenuity some of the guys had worked up. One individual had run a compressed air line up from the shop and attached it to the back of a Nerfball gun. The other favorite was frozen Nerf, where a Nerf (or other foam) whatever was soaked down in freeze spray and then launched, slipped, stuffed, dropped, or otherwise planted on unsuspecting victims.
Re:Rubber Bands (Score:1)
Re:Rubber Bands (Score:1)
Our secretary, though, has taken up a new hobby--she has made a large solid ball of rubber bands. It's currently about halfway between the size of a large softball and a basketball, and growing. And it bounces quite nicely...plus we're on the second floor. Fortunately, our department has the area directly beneath us, so nobody runs out in a panic at the loud *THUMP* *THUMP!* *THUMP!!!*.
We also have a love for the REALLY big rubber bands. We used to shoot them at some pieces of poster-sized tablet paper we had written on taped up to our cubicle walls. The things would just shred the paper. Plus, our secretary gets a bit miffed about it...all of her decorations on her cabinets often become very enticing targets!
lp (Score:1)
Jousting with screwdrivers (Score:2)
You can use plastic rulers in the first weeks if the screwdriver thing scares you.
Party Crackers... (Score:1)
Stealth! I need stealth! (Score:2)
I remember the boss told us "After 5pm only." Then the very next day I heard the unmistakable sounds of gunfire at about 2pm. I yelled from the office "After 5, guys!" It continued. "I thought we were going to wait until after 5!" Still, continued. I walk out of my office and into the arsenal cube to see that the boss himself has brought his 7yr old son to work today and he is now shooting every gun in sight with great glee.
Re:War at work (Score:1)
Heck, just plop it on a scanner if you have to.
Mattel Agent Zero M 5530 Sonic Blaster (Score:2)