Do Programming Languages Affect Your Sexual Performance?

bLanark asks: "I've used a variety of programming languanges over the years, but recently started using Java commercially (as opposed to just playing at home). As soon as I was on that Java project, I became a rampant stallion, never left my wife alone, sexually. She even started sleeping in the spare room just to get some rest on some nights! Soon, I was back on C++ (due to a budget cut and re-org). I am no longer a stallion (I won't go into more details!). My theory is that java's so easy, so after conquering an API a day (JDOM, Swing,...) I just came home and carried on conquering. Now, I have to work for a living again, and it doesn't leave much energy. Do other slashdotters have similar experience? Is lisp tantric? Do assembler programmers favour wham-bam-that's-the-end-of-that-non-maskable-inter rupt-where's-the-remote-control-honey-can-you-get- me-a-beer? What's the best programming language for attracting sexual partners? What about Operating Systems? Does MS == S&M?" Does C/C++ dampen your love life? Does Perl please your partner? Can you jive with Java? Inquiring minds want to know.

Losers.

[bentini]

While y'all are fooling around with java...
I went the original root. I've been playing with self.
J/K. We al know that functional language users are so well hung that sometimes they have to use a lisp.

Re:import javax.sex.*;

[burtonator]

you joke...

but there already is a JSAPI [sun.com]

The Jargon File...

[kubrick]

has something to say on this matter:

bondage-and-discipline language n. [tuxedo.org]

It is *not* the sex that is the problem

[Anthy]

The boasting about how well he shagged his wife isn't sexist? This kind of talk does offend girls. I mean would you feel uncomfortable if gay males started cracking jokes about how good a shag this guy was, or this guy wasn't at the watercooler at work? What if girls start talking about two hot guys they saw kissing and how sexy this was in front of all of their male coworkers? Or start talking about how this guy they went out with who you know has such a small penis and can't take it. The standard you have to apply is, if you turned the tables around, would you feel uncomfortable? This is basically the whole thing about the remark that if males could get pregnant, abortion would be a constitutional right. Males hardly ever have to bear the brunt of such behaviour and so have no idea about what is offensive and what is not offensive. I find it significant that all the people writing back saying it is "nothing" are all guys who have most likely *never* had to endure such remarks about their gender before. It is *not* the sex I find offensive but rather the crass immature toilet humour way it is presented and the remarks about being a "stallion" and fucking his wife senseless (yes, I am aware it is a joke). However I agree that one cannot be too fussy. So whilst such talk is not appropriate say around a water cooler at work, it may be say at a pub having a drink with the boys. Which is what I am saying here. The frontpage of the most widely read computer news site is not the appropriate place to put such "humour". The fact that the editors and most of the (male) audience seem to think so is a sign of how deeply entrenced the problems are in the IT industry. I mean take for example, as soon as I complain, the boys here all assume it is the sex when I am not complaining about the fact that it is about sex but the appropriateness of this type of toilet humour in this forum. "Oh, she is a typical female bitch, who can't stand the talk of sex." That in itself is also sexist behaviour. I wonder what type of remark they make if a girl gets sexually harassed at work?

Re:Really lame

[MullerMn]

You really need to read the FAQ [slashdot.org].
If you think that Slashdot is a respectable news source, good for you, but that's not what it's meant to be. It's a community forum for discussion of things that appeal to us geeks, and while this is simple, inane humour it's also amusing.

Perhaps the fact that you're the only one complaining in this story amidst all the people joining in on the joke should tell you something?

--
Andy

Re:Really lame

[Anthy]

Which is the point I was trying to make in my original post. If you were a female trying to get into an industry where this sort of the behaviour even if it is not outright sexism is the norm, would you even want to? IT has a bad rep for being unfriendly to women, and now I can see why. I am not talking about the comments here which the slashdot editors have no real control other, but the actual articles which have to be chosen ie. go through some sort of editorial process. Shouldn't the /. people be trying to encourage women to get into IT, rather than encouraging behaviour which scares them off?

Re:Uh...

[Anonymous Coward]

Heeyyy. That's not true. I'm female and one of my dating criteria
is at least computer literate - tho they probably won't get laid if
they only run windows.

Depends on the interfaces.

[booch]

I think the quality of your sex life depends more on the interfaces you choose to use than the language you choose to use.