Do Programming Languages Affect Your Sexual Performance?

bLanark asks: "I've used a variety of programming languanges over the years, but recently started using Java commercially (as opposed to just playing at home). As soon as I was on that Java project, I became a rampant stallion, never left my wife alone, sexually. She even started sleeping in the spare room just to get some rest on some nights! Soon, I was back on C++ (due to a budget cut and re-org). I am no longer a stallion (I won't go into more details!). My theory is that java's so easy, so after conquering an API a day (JDOM, Swing,...) I just came home and carried on conquering. Now, I have to work for a living again, and it doesn't leave much energy. Do other slashdotters have similar experience? Is lisp tantric? Do assembler programmers favour wham-bam-that's-the-end-of-that-non-maskable-inter rupt-where's-the-remote-control-honey-can-you-get- me-a-beer? What's the best programming language for attracting sexual partners? What about Operating Systems? Does MS == S&M?" Does C/C++ dampen your love life? Does Perl please your partner? Can you jive with Java? Inquiring minds want to know.

Re:OMG, ANOTHER APRIL 1 JOKE?

[JabberWokky]

How many pathetic see-thru attempts at an April Fool joke are we going to see today?

I hate to tell you this, but I have a bad feeling that the stories we are going to see that are absolutely wretched or dizzyingly stupid are all real submissions over the past month or so. I'm pretty sure they did this a year or two ago. It kinda almost makes you pity them for having to wade through the submission box.

--
Evan

I do not know about you but...

[sboss]

This is probably one of the famous /. april 1st jokes but it does make sense to a degree. It probably was/is not the languages that he was programming but it was what he was programming. In the C++ world, he was doing the 8-10hrs/day coding where when he was doing the java he was doing 8-10hrs/day of conquring something new. Once he mastered all the APIs and the actual coding becomes a little more standard for him, then the sex drive would go to.

I am far from an expert but I feel much better as a person (happier, energetic, etc) when I get do to things that extend my mind or chanllege me. Doing the "punch-the-clock and work at my desk" crap does nothing for the geek. But trying to get Your linux box to administrer the Win2k/XP boxes without having admin rights (and being able to do it) is more geeker and more interesting to the local geek.

But your opinions may very...

hehe. its a communication problem

[themusicgod1]

we both know what the other is saying...we just cant say anything appropriate to reply :D are you sure i havnt dated you for 14 months or something? lol j/k. seriously though... i do understand and am unsure how to reply to that.

as for stallion i really dont think that deseverves to be picked on for as being as cliche and lude as it was...it was also some form of a metephor...while not artistic...it is getting there...and banning words is walking on a fine line...

so in other words the idea that his wife is a sex object is the sexist part? notice that he said his "wife"...isnt the entire mairrage thing based around the idea of sex?? if it wasnt would there truly be a 'no sex before mairage' thing in the bible, koran, popular culture, whatever else comes to mind???...honestly...we know they are having sex... we know some days are better than others...what makes this so wrong to talk about it? would it have been different had this been his wife being told that he had stopped working on java and now was back to C and so now she's experiencing 'less' of him in the bed(or shower or whever else for that matter?)?

Part of the problem i think is that i dont actually talk to anyone anymore really that much so that if girls wanted to talk about how sexy those gay guys were i dont think it would even matter. honestly when i used to...they talked like that!!! that was a large portion of the conversations i've been in vacinity of by women were on thoe lines... some of them anyways. others were just as intelligent...
...i mean a few of them used to talk about how sexy those gay guys were (as gay guys are the perfect men...except that you cant have them!)...and it never bothered me. i'm not usually one bothered by any of that...unless i just broke up with someone recently (but you would have said that by now if you have...right?)...but i have not..so it makes no dfference.
i mean it also depended on the girl, some of them were far more englightened than others...but this is in all things

no you are not the "typical female bitch", because no such thing exists...at least to my observations. the entire "cant stand the talk of sex" is not healthy, and i would suggest you look into it... but it is none of my business so that is the end of that.
actually if you want MY opinion i think you are fekin sexy, because anyone with a mind that can stand up to even 250 000 slashdotters including me must be worth something... and its the mind that matters...right???

Common Lisp is the way to go

[Xenophon Fenderson,]

In CLOS, a GF supports multiple methods with fast dispatch times, and you can use them without having to go through the whole bondage-and-discipline routine forced on you by other "high level" programming languages like C++. And don't get me started on "before", "after", and "around" methods or garbage collection. Needless to say, GFs are pretty sweet.

Side effects...

[Creepy]

Yeah, it works, but the side effects suck -

I started to stink like a camel and spit like a camel, so I had to give it up to save my marriage.

Re:Easily offended

[brendano]

No, it's the immature obsession with sex so prevalent among male, adolescent-minded geeky community that's offensive. Only an overwhelmingly male subculture will be so disgusting across the board. While making dirty sex jokes isn't always bad, the fact that EVERYONE here is making them, and laughing at them (all +5 funny), the environment becomes intimidating and hostile towards women. The all-male reinforces the sexism of the computer science world.