Advice You Would Give to Your 12 Year-Old Self?

urbazewski asks: "If you could send a message back to your nerdy unpopular 12 year old self, what would you say? I've been asking this one for several years, and the replies sound suspiciously like the lame advice I got from adults at that age ('just be yourself, dear'). The most creative answer was from an American-born Buddhist monk, who didn't think his 12 year old self would listen to a message along the lines of 'Hey, what you're doing is kind of making things suck for me right now' --- he would send a message to himself by adding extra lyrics to a song he really liked when he was in junior high school. I got the best replies from a large class at UC Santa Cruz. The modal answer was 'Buy Microsoft.' About 7% of the class said 'Enjoy yourself in high school because college is really hard.' Another 7% said "Study harder in high school because college is really hard.' (The best variant on that theme: 'Try to figure out what "studying" is'). In the hindsight-is-20/20 dept. there was a girl who said 'Do not date the following people...' and then listed six names and a guy who said 'You know how you're thinking about trying to drive your dad's car? Don't!.' My personal favorite: 'You're a dork now, but don't worry, you'll be cool when you're in college.'"

hrm..

[kaoticus]

Drugs are bad...mmmkay

First Post?

[RyansPrivates]

Did I get the first post on /. ? If not, I would tell my 12 y/o self to get the first post.

Dont bang that ugly chick with the clap!

[skitz0]

Oh god, the itching, the itching!

advice

[threedays]

register slashdot.org

Advice to 12 year old self

[Anonymous Coward]

"You know what, just forget it, you won't listen to anything i say anyway..."

Self..

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't post so much lame stuff on /.

My advice to my 12-yr-old self?

[nanojath]

Kill Yourself Now.

Yeah, that's right, kill yourself, you heard me.

I want to find out if a fundamental paradox really causes the universe to end! I mean, suicide is not my bag, but if I had the chance to take all of you with me...

My Message to 12-year old self:

[Anik315]

Train your left hand for next year.

Easy!

[Monkelectric]

Don't let Christy Wilson go :)

Advice for my 12 year old self

[Znonymous Coward]

Never turn down a chance to get laid.

Oh, and buy Cisco stock in 1998 and sell it in Jan 2000.

Period.

Hi..

[grub]

"Self, in 4 years you're going to meet a really nice girl at a party. This time guy some fucking condoms!"

easy

[pizza_milkshake]

don't waste your time reading slashdot; do something useful instead.

get laid

[chef_raekwon]

don't pass up the best years of your life. get laid, over and over and over again. there will be time enough for slashdot/computers/programming when you're older and impotent.

err, wait, not that this has happened to me....

advice to all 12 year olds

[Anonymous Coward]

if anybody even looks at you crosseyed, stick a knife in them right away, or word will get around that you're a patsy and it will take you a whole lifetime to live it down.

Advise to myself as a 12 year old...

[ThousandStars]

You're dumb, but that shouldn't be too surprising since you're 12. When you get the chance to enter a running start program as a sophomore, do it. With high school comes stupid heartache, and an early exit will save you lots of heartache.

But, in order to accomplish that, you must ignore your evil best friend, Adam. He will bring you Warcraft II, which will consume an inordinate amount of your time and eventually lead you to Diablo and Starcraft. Which is like heroin to you.

In summary: Get away from high school and addictive Blizzard products.

Watch your links

[flynt]

Never, ever, ever click a goatse.cx link. That image will forever be burned on my retina...shudder....

I'm Only Eleven...

[Anonymous Coward]

... you insensitive clod!

Hmmm

[IamTheRealMike]

Considering that I can't really remember much about being 12, even though I'm only 18 now, I'd probably tell myself to go do something interesting.

Oh, and I'd probably tell myself to go on that bike ride with katie, she might be a bit wierd but she's also damn hot, and that kind of thing doesn't happen as often as TV makes you think it will.

Parents

[citking]

Dear Self: You know all those things that you're hiding from your parents (report cards, alcohol, drugs, women) so they won't find out? Well, they already know. Have a good day!

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

I would tell myself a few things...

[MarvinMouse]

1. Most importantly, you are not always right, contrary to how you feel about most things. Make sure you research things thoroughly before you start to tell other people what you believe is right. There are many arguments you'll win and lose that you'll look back at and smack yourself for being such a wiseass, especially since you were completely wrong.

2. Girls are not worth your time. They are fun while you have them but man you regret it when they are gone. Plus, after you have one, you're hooked.

3. Go to Victoria School of Visual and Performing Arts as soon as you can. You'll be very happy there.

4. Don't drop piano lessons. You'll regret it when all of your friends are cool pianists and you are just starting again.

5. Listen to your father, play cards more often with your father, go out and play sports more with your father. When you leave for university, you'll really miss the few good times you did have with him.

6. Save your money. Don't buy stuff on a whim, make sure you want it first. There are lots of stuff you'll think is cool to own, but later on you'll kick yourself for spending so much on it.

7. Star Trek is not as cool as you think it is.

8. Be nice to your sisters, especially Peggy. You may not approve of her ways, but you can learn a lot from her.

9. Get rid of your damn huge glasses, and get smaller ones or contacts.

10. Stop watching TV, if need be, just use the computer. Full House isn't that good of a series.

11. Exercise more, or do more physical activity. It's worth it.

12. Get involved in the community more. At Vic, get involved in the arts scene more. You'll miss it when you are gone.

That should be enough I think.

But most importantly.

13. Don't fight all the time. You are not right 100% of the time, and it's not worth the stress of the arguments and the loss of friendships when you fight.

That's about it. Plus, you know the usual. Invest in Microsoft, etc.

So I says to myself, self...

[aborchers]

Given that, at 12, I was entering that period of life where I would do pretty much exactly the opposite of what anyone advised:

1. Don't take algebra, there's no practical use for that stuff.

2. Do all the cocaine you can get your hands on. The eighties will be much more fun that way...

3. Rush out and get laid by the first girl who will do it.

That's a pretty good start...

Heh

[citking]

Dear Self:

In the future, you are going to write to your nerdy, unpopular self.

In the meantime, think of something witty, cuz this sucks!

Later!

Don't get too hung up on Star Wars...

[markv242]

...because in about 10 years, you're going to be incredibly disappointed.

Re:First Post?

[$$$$$exyGal]

I wouldn't tell my 12 year-old self anything, because I wouldn't want anything to change. My 12 year-old self learned long ago that you don't need to get first post to be noticed. All you need to do is respond to first post to get noticed.

--sex [slashdot.org]

I would convince myself ...

[siliconwafer]

... that I really would go blind if I kept doing *that*.

Re:My advice to my 12-yr-old self?

[bofkentucky]

Okay, someone needs to make a delivery to the local mental institution.....

or...

[kingkade]

..."Stop masturbating so much. My eyesight is terrible 10 years from now.."

My Advice

[Dr. Bent]

FYI: Inflammable means flammable...

Re:Best advice I could give myself!

[Anonymous Coward]

Aaah, if only your parents had that piece of advice.

Re:hrm..

[TPS Report]

Wear sunscreen.

Ahhhhhh, appropriate RedDwarf quote!

[Anonymous Coward]

LISTER: So, listen, man. You've lived my life for the last five years.
So, what's the single most important piece of advice that you can give
me?
FUTURE LISTER: (thinks hard) Erm. Oh, yeah. Three years from now,
you'll go through a cosmic storm and end up in a parallel universe.
You'll materialise on an exact replica of Earth in the year 1989.
You'll want to go to the theatre. Whatever you do, don't go and see
"Run For Your Wife."

What I'd tell myself

[anthony_dipierro]

s''$/=\2048;while(<>){G=29;R=142;if((@a=unqT="C*", _)[20]&48){D=89;_=unqb24,qT,@
b=map{ord qB8,unqb8,qT,_^$a[--D]}@INC;s/...$/1$&/;Q=unqV,qb2 5,_;H=73;O=$b[4]<<9
|256|$b[3];Q=Q>>8^(P=(E=255)& (Q>>12^Q>>4^Q/8^Q))<<17,O=O>>8^(E&(F=(S=O>>14&7^O)
^S*8^S<<6))<<9,_=(map{U=_%16orE^=R^=110&(S=(unqT ,"\xb\ntd\xbz\x14d")[_/16%8]);E
^=(72,@z=(64,72,G ^=12*(U-2?0:S&17)),H^=_%64?12:0,@z)[_%8]}(16..271) )[_]^((D>>=8
)+=P+(~F&E))for@a[128..$#a]}print+qT ,@a}';s/[D-HO-U_]/\$$&/g;s/q/pack+/g;eval

Re:Advice for my 12 year old self

[CrayzyJ]

I was thinking along the same lines, but it was more. Hook up with girl B when you have the chance because girl A is going to break up with you anyway.

I'm still pissed about that. Girl B was smokin'...

Listen, listen well

[digitalhermit]

1) The nerdy girl in your morning science class is going to be beautiful at 22 when you run into her in college. The hot little girl in your homeroom will be neither.

2) Don't, don't, don't think it'll be a good idea to use the dog clippers to trim the top of your head. You'll miss and need to make up some excuse that you were checking for 666.

3) Don't use silicone spray to lubricate the lawnmower. The gases are very flammable and you'll singe your lungs.

4) Have absolutely no moral dillemma about having fun with your girlfriend's hot little friend. Your girlfriend will dump you a week later for the SWAT sergeant.

5) Late at night, when everything is dark, do not blindly drink from the 1/2 gallon plastic jug in the back of the fridge. It will *look* like lemonade, but....

6) Have fun. Have lots of fun. Take lots of classes, even ones you don't need.

Hmm..

[FunkSoulBrother]

I really think I'd just tease my 12 year old self who'd be sitting there playing NES, with fantastic tales of the Gamecube and PS2, and then disappear into the night.

Hey...Self...

[Gudlyf]

...who gives a rat's ass what you're doing now, look at me! I can message myself at 12 years old! How cool is that?!

(Modified my original post)

Tamagotchi

[circletimessquare]

dear 12 year old self: just let it die [aol.com]

Re:hrm..

[Frank White]

Go on a killing spree before it becomes a cliché.

Re:Of course, what you really want to do is...

[misterhaan]

Give him last week's Lottery numbers.

in the year when Little Mark is 12 . . .

Big Mark [slashdot.org] to Little Mark: "Last week's winning lottery number are . . . "

Find a guy named Bill Gates

[serutan]

and introduce him to girls and beer in high school. He'll never get anything done.

Re:12 is too young

[veddermatic]

the correct quote is:

"Son, it's better to regret things you HAVE done than to regret things you HAVEN'T done. And by the way, if you see your mom this weeked, could you tell her.....

SATAN, SATAN, SATAN!!!" (queue ripped black sabbath riff)

Ahh, the Butthole Surfers... how I miss ye.

Re:Hmmm

[MarkGriz]

Considering that I can't really remember much about being 12, even though I'm only 18 now

How about: "Hey self, stop smoking so much dope. Your memory will be shot by the time you're 18"

Re:The past is gone...

[coyote-san]

The point is usually to give advice to kids today, not to find some crazy professor and hit 88mph in his DeLorean. I didn't get much help from adults when I was a kid (and every year appreciate my scout master more and more), but maybe I can offer a bit to some today.

Re:advice

[Illserve]

What, for a $100 buyout?

Cocacola.com would get you millions.

nike.com

reebok.com

Disney.com

just run down the Fortune 500 list back in 1991 and squat like a pro. Remember to put a "fan page" on each of them so the courts can't yank it.

"This si my coca Cola page! I LOVE COKE!
Herei s a pic of me drnking coke!!"

Re:I would convince myself ...

[Bull999999]

That would explain why I wear thick glasses.

Re:First Post?

[Anonymous Coward]

Note to past self: When a site called "slashdot.org" is created, register the name $$$$$exygal, pretend to be a slut, and throw naked pictures at geeks, so that I'll be swimming in +5 posts.

Re:First Post?

[Drakonian]

I would tell your 12-year old self to quickly learn the amazing control you can exert over geeks by providing them with p0rn.

Re:advice = Paradox

[sdjunky]

I would tell myself to not register slashdot.org as doing so would mean there is no slashdot to ask this question and thus I couldn't have made the initial change thus causing a paradox.

Oh... and stay away from the airport ( especially the guy with the blonde wig and sunglasses )

10 undeniable truths to life, so listen up!

[LibertineR]

1. Dont be nice to girls, they wont respect you and will sleep with men who are mean to you and tell you all about it, while never giving you any.

2. Sleep with everything that moves, knowing that as you make more money, the women get prettier. If you dont like the girls who like you, make more money!

3. STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY!

4. Under no circumstances ever consider marriage unless you reach 30 and make less than 150K a year. If you are younger and/or make more, your options for trim are too good to settle for just one chick regardless of what you look like.

5. Dont buy a Mac.

6. Just because you will love Java, doesn't mean you can ever do anything productive with it. Stick with C++ and dont be afraid of garbage collection and pointers.

7. Everyone you think is cool, will be washing your car, turning down your hotel bed, and bringing you meals in 20 years, if you refuse to be like them now.

8. Those big tits you love so much right now, will be hanging around her navel in 25 years. Learn to like the flat girls.

9. Once you make decent money, you will forget all that crap about the environment, compassion and helping others, so why waste your time now?

10. Everyone does it, anyone who says they dont is lying.

Re:My Message to 12-year old self:

[telstar]

"Remember that new fangled tip your older brother told you about...pulling out. *USE* it! It really works!"

• No it doesn't ... Why do you think your older brother is in this world?

girls girls girls

[tongue]

Hey, you know all those girls who think they're hot shit right now? in four years, they'll all be skanky sluts who still think they're hot shit--treat them like the skanks they are and they'll be putty in your hands. They'll stay that way until they're about 25. Then you can be nice to girls again.

Re:My Message to 12-year old self:

[Cpt_Kirks]

...than lern ta spel gooder.

Things I would tell my 12 year old self

[chunkwhite86]

1. Buy lots of stock in Qualcomm in 1999 for $50/share and sell it all in 2000 for $600/share.
2. Don't have sex with the weird chick with the really short hair.
3. DO have sex with the blonde that drives an Audi
4. Learn to do calculus before the calc midterm.
5. Don't drive through a certain intersection on May 4th 2001.
6. Get in lots of trouble with the cops before you turn 18 so that it stays on your juvenile record. Remember kids - after 18, it stays on your rap sheet for life.

What about...

[TheLoneGundam]

"here's how I invented the mechanism to send you a message back in time. It only works for a certain number of years in the past, though. I need you to send this info back to Grandpa, so that he will invent it, our corporation will patent it, and we'll rule the world!"

Note to future self

[scotay]

Older people only appear to have their acts together.

You won't be the first nerd to lose their virginity in their 20's.

You are not as weird as you think you are.

You are not as weird as Michael Jackson.

Re:Things I would tell my 12 year old self

[chunkwhite86]

Oh yeah... and Don't get that stupid tattoo!!

Pennies? Stop shaving pennies!

[donutz]

"Put 15-20% of every penny your earn in the bank"

Maybe so you you don't have to shave/cut your pennies and nickels, you could put 15-20% of every dollar you earn in the bank. I'd hate to deal with all those pennies...

THIS IS AMERICA, HOME OF THE LITIGIOUS!

[Thud457]

You should SUE girl A for not breaking up with you sooner!

I tried to give my 12-year-old self some advice...

[TheCubic]

but he gave me the finger and told me to go to hell.

Oh, and I violated causality and energy conservation by doing so, so the universe will end in three seconds. Sorry.

Crap, now my Delorean won't sell...

no no..

[Wakkow]

goatse.cx .. Please young version of me, register that domain and save me from having an image imprinted on my mind forever.

Moderation: +1, Recursive

[Anonymous Coward]

A good beating

[shylock0]

I was so uncool when I was twelve, if I could go back in time I'd probably beat myself up...

register? Domain name? WTF?

[gosand]

register slashdot.org

To which 12yr old me would say:
What the hell does register mean, and what is slashdot.org?

33yroldme: It is a website
12yroldme: What the hell is a website?
33yroldme: You know the internet.
12yroldme: What the hell is the internet?
33yroldme: A bunch of computers hooked up together to share information.
12yroldme: What the hell is a computer?
33yroldme: You know, a personal computer.
12yroldme: No, I have no idea what you are talking about.
33yroldme: It is a screen, like a TV, and you can do all kinds of things on it, like playing games.
12yroldme: Oh, in your house, like an Atari?
33yroldme: Yeah, sort of, but they are all over the world too.
12yroldme: Oh, you mean in the arcade like a Pac-Man machine? And that new game, Pole Position? That game is cool. It is so realistic! Or Joust, that game is fun because two people can play at once. I have only played it a couple of times because it is brand new. There is always a line for it.
33yroldme: Dude, nevermind. Have fun.

Re:Parents

[kfg]

But since your parents already know, and you don't know that they know, your parents are actually a bit cooler then you thought.

Why on earth do you think your dad *put* that Playboy in his sock drawer when any intelligent person could have effectively hidden it?

Think about it.

KFG

Re:Advice

[Cpt_Kirks]

Here, take this copy of "Grey's Sports Almanac 1950-2000"...

Re:hrm..

[Bob McCown]

It's called a tension sheet. Get a patent on it.

loan

[initnull]

Convice mom and dad to put their loan money
in microsoft stocks.

Re:Easy!

[Anonymous Coward]

Nice try.

-Christy

Re:register? Domain name? WTF?

[ichimunki]

At age 12 you didn't know what a computer was? Are you sure you're on the right site? This is "News for Nerds". :)

Run...

[Anonymous Coward]

...south through the woods. The cops come in from the north. Good luck.

OH MY GOD!

[theuglykid]

I would tell myself not to look at $$$$$exyGal's journal at work!

Geez, that could have gotten me fired.

Tell yourself in the past to ....

[very]

send a message to yourself in the past by the time you reach a certain age (i.e. 24).

Re:My advice to my 12-yr-old self?

[H310iSe]

Naw... my advice is less suicide - I'd say 'you're not crazy. Relax a little. Oh, and you don't die before your 30 either. '

Re:My advice to my 12-yr-old self?

[AragornSonOfArathorn]

Thank you, sir.

I didn't think it was possible, but my brain has tied itself into several knots, and is now leaking out my nose.

Re:Advice for my 12 year old self

[Tackhead]

> Oh, and buy Cisco stock in 1998 and sell it in Jan 2000.
>Period.

I tried that and I'm still broke.

So I went back and told my 13-year-old self it was OK to put the Cisco proceeds into something called "Enron", but that he had to sell the Enron in 2001.

And I'm still broke.

Now I gotta go back in time again and tell my 14-year-old self not use the Enron proceeds to buy airline stocks.

I tell ya, ever since Goldman Sachs left the brokerage business and went into temporal mechanics, my life's been a living hell!

Re:My advice to my 12-yr-old self?

[HamNRye]

Keep your fingerprints off their files! Blow HS and learn Hydroponics. Learn Spanish. Your history teacher is lying.

P.S. All that stuff you think about when you're high, patent it.

Re:hrm..

[the phantom]

What, like bubble wrap painted red?
You're looney! No one would ever pay money for that!

Hmm, aside from the obvious...

[Fr33z0r]

Aside from the lottery numbers, I'd probably say

I know you're hungry, I know you're drunk, and I know it smells appetising, but seriously, you don't want to eat the cat food... Oh, and go drag your buddy back inside, he wandered out into the street and passed out while you were MICROWAVING A BOWL OF CAT FOOD.

Come to think of it, can I give me a slap too?

Re:advice

[josh crawley]

"Herer is a pikture of me smoking coke."

Hmmm...

[TopShelf]

As opposed to what other kind of condom?

Re:Parents

[JaxGator75]

That's funny, because that's the advice I would have given my 12-yr-old self: "Only Suckers Get Caught". I hope to teach my children that someday, along with "reasonable doubt", "burden of proof" and all the other rules you'll need to know to succeed in business and politics... ;)

Re:register? Domain name? WTF?

[Anonymous Coward]

I was 7 in 1982. And on welfare. We got a trash-80 for christmas.

Re:Here here...

[gvonk]

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00005V0XF/ diramyspla

What the hell? You insert Amazon Affiliate links into your recommendations in everyday, informal communication suggesting a movie??? Do you do this in conversation, too?

Re: late bloomer, eh?

[rowanxmas]

WTF is the "wrong" way? Twisting?

I just want to say one word to you... 'plastics'.

[SourceHammer]

I just want to say one word to you... ''plastics''.

In the late 90's...

[Tim Doran]

...watch for a site called 'slashdot' to appear.

Register immediately. Get ID #001.

Wait until 2003. Go to a site called 'ebay'. Sell [ebay.com] said slashdot ID. Let your mind boggle that you now have $81.

Re:My Message to 12-year old self:

[rizzo420]

or rather... why do you think your older brother just got married? ;)

Re:I'm Only Eleven...

[ctimes2]

Then pretend your me for a minute - when that red head in college promises to make you beg if you'll just stay the night, and you say you can't because your math final is at 9 am the next morning and it's your only chance to pass the class... stay the night man! You're going to sleep through your test anyway!

*sigh* True story.

Re:advice to all 12 year olds

[B3ryllium]

The word you want is "pansy". A "patsy" ... well, if your twelve-year-old self was Sirhan Sirhan, then you just might be a patsy. (Gawd, now I feel like Jeff Foxworthy) You know you're a patsy when ... you wake up covered in odd photos, holding a recently fired gun.

Youth is wasted on the young...

[s88]

so just keep wasting it you little bastard!

Re:hrm..

[carpe_noctem]

Better yet, it's called a Segway. Get a patent on it.

On second thought, maybe take the money for that patent filing charge and get some hookers and cheap beer instead. ;P

Re:register? Domain name? WTF?

[MacGod]

Hey asshead, this guy was 12 in 1982. The only people who had computers in 82 were rich geeky college kids and big companies. Just because you were 12 in 1998 doesn't mean everyone was.

I think my new advice would be to start using the word "asshead"! That's awesome!

Go into the kitchen...

[Magus311X]

Go into the kitchen and drink everything under the sink. Completely. Even the stuff that burns your mouth.

It will uh... raise your Charisma to 18!

-----

Re:hrm..

[Patrick13]

"Take the red pill, Me-o."

and then, 20 years later I'd get it.

Don't wait...

[base2op]

Don't wait for Duke Nukem Forever.

The title is more suitable than you'll ever comprehend.

Re:Watch your links

[MadLibs]

i need to read these posts slower. unfortunately, i read that as:

"Never, ever, ever click a goatse.cx link. That image will forever be burned on my rectum...shudder...."

Cut your hair!

[Zerbey]

Dear Chris,

When you turn 19 you will, for some really stupid reason, decide that long hair is cool and looks good on you.

It doesn't. Your passport photo is an embarassment that you will live with for 10 years.

Watch out where them huskys go..

[A55M0NKEY]

And don't you eat that yellow snow!

don't worry...

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't worry about it... it will get bigger.

Re:hrm..

[Anonvmous Coward]

Avoid links that inlcude the word 'goat' in them.

Re:That's super terrif...

[Cruciform]

Was it CGA or ASCII art? :)

Re:advice = Paradox

[Rary]

I'd tell the 12-year old me the same thing that the 30-year old me told me when I was 12.

Re:register? Domain name? WTF?

[Cruciform]

12yroldme: What the hell is the internet?
30yearoldme: It's kind of like a giant BBS, with unlimited porn.
12yearoldme: Mind if I take notes?

Re:Advice!

[Anonymous Coward]

has a beer EVER tasted better than in a locker room after a hard-fought win???

Why yes actually, it tastes even better when you don't drink it at all.

Your mommy just called, do you want any Juicy Juice?

Re:advice = Paradox

[sdjunky]

I knew I forgot to mention something....

Divert power to the reflector dish so we can create a tachyon field.

Thanks for reminding me

Advice I would give a 12 year-old me?

[Poison-R]

Stop doing that or you'll go blind!

Re:My advice to my 12-yr-old self?

[flimflam]

I mean I'd tell myself to go fuck myself, personally

Which you could, literally.

3DRealms

[AnonymousCowheard]

As you smoke that crack pipe, explaining your 12yearold self to not smoke the crack pipe, go remind 3DRealms that Project Managment Courses in college are a Good Thing(TM).

Re:hrm..

[AnonymousCowheard]

Avoid links that inlcude the word 'goat' in them.


And disable Javascript at all times. (Nobody likes a picture of ass that dances on your screen and avoids your mouse)

Bwahaha

[afree87]

Learn how to spell. You're intelligence will be judged by it.

What else can I say?

Re:My advice to my 12-yr-old self?

[Magius_AR]

In other words, you'd wipe out everything in one possible universe from the point of contact if you did commit suicide, but not before it, and it would still continue from the point where your message fails to appear as if nothing had happened, which of course is true unless you make the same decisions exactly as you did the first time round from that point onward, in that timeline, leading to you contacting yourself in the past, which is not guaranteed not least of which because of a universal cognisance of the event which took place leaving a dissonance in it's wake, spreading backward and outward, so that at least at some point you'd not comply, realising the stupidity of your behaviour and eventually boring yourself/ves of the repetition of the fundementally self-destructive non-beneficial act and get on with doing something more positive instead, tike putting the telly on or something.

Two things:

1) That has to be the longest sentence I have ever seen.
2) That has GOT to be a run-on.

OT: you asshat

[Iffy Bonzoolie]

I think my favorite is "asshat." I don't know what it means (You wear an ass on your hat? For your hat? Someone else uses your ass for a hat? Your ass is shaped like a hat?) But it makes me giggle.

-If

I just thought of something, it could be a compound of "as shat." I don't know what that would mean, either. It's as if you were shat out of someone else? It's as if you had just shat?

Ugh, my head is swimming.

Re:Dear 12 year-old self . . .

[MagikSlinger]

ou are never going to be cool, no matter how hard you try...

This from a guy whose every post gets instantly modded +5. In the Kingdom of the Geeks, Wesley Crusher is the Fonz. :-)

Re:Listen, listen well

[rizzo420]

uhhhh...wow...

the only thing i don't get is the lemonade... what else looks like lemonade other than urine? and if that's it... why did you have a half gallon of urine in your fridge?

Re:hrm..

[Carnivorous Carrot]

"When gorgeous, well-built (and I ain't kiddin'!) Debbie, who obviously has a crush on you, even to your dim 12 year old senses, flirts heavily with you, fuck the holy hell out of her.

"So, too, the other Debbie, and Theresa, and that cute frat chick in college, you god damned Colecovision playing dumbass freak!"

Re:Dear Self

[Carnivorous Carrot]

Either that longwinded pontification or "Take that $50k you'll get in 12 years when you're done with that contract in Europe, dump into Chrysler at $10/share, sell at $70, dump immediately without paying taxes into eBay, sell at $200 after got knows how many splits in 2000 at the latest. Retire. Oh yeah, and don't forget to fuck the holy hell out of Debbie."

Re:Bwahaha

[Drakonian]

Hehehe. I was chomping at the bit as soon as I saw "In class you'll be bored- school is geared for average people and your not average. So, do the work really fast, then do other stuff thats fun." Imagine my dreams when I read the intelligence bit.

I wouldn't listen to myself.

[Tha_Zanthrax]

Back when I was 12, I wouldn't listento anybody!
I don't think I would have listened to myself.