Sexual Harassment for Consultants? 159
Medcoop asks: "My friend is working as a consultant for a government institution, and is having a difficult time with his direct supervisor (the person who hired and manages him). She has been repeatedly asking him out (even though she is several decades his senior), and keeps referencing her preference for younger men. This isn't exactly sexual harassment, however, as he hasn't said 'No, and please stop asking.' The problem is that if he says the above, there won't be any more work for him there. He's not really fired, but just not asked back for other work. Where does this situation fall with respect to the law? Does anyone have any advice for him?"
If he says no and is punished (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:If he says no and is punished (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:If he says no and is punished (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:If he says no and is punished (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:If he says no and is punished (Score:5, Funny)
Re:If he says no and is punished (Score:2)
"I'd love to go to bed with you, but I just hope you don't mind I'm HIV+"
Re:If he says no and is punished (Score:1)
Yikes, what a mess
Re:If he says no and is punished (Score:2)
1) Different strains of the virus
2) Different virus counts
And so they don't want to mix these anyway, to avoid increasing their chances of developping AIDS symptoms.
Daniel
Re:If he says no and is punished (Score:2)
Specific documentation which might help is if he could get a written performance review from the harassing supervisor. It would work out better if he was working for a consulting firm and his real boss asked the harasser for a review of work.
Another way may be to have a co-consultant, or a friend "apprentice" on this job occasionally and see if you can get a witness.
Or have a video chat going all the time. It would be fairly obvious that there was some witness, even if it were just displaying a loop of
How about (Score:3, Funny)
It could be painful but may stop the old lady wanting some of his fine consulting ass.
Re:How about (Score:3, Funny)
Re:How about (Score:1)
More slashdot legal advice... (Score:5, Insightful)
Advice (Score:5, Insightful)
Then again, this guy seems to be assuming that he only has two choices: play the gigolo, or face losing his consulting contracts. With a little self-esteem and a little tact, one could probably let down a sexually aggressive boss without provoking a crisis. Alas, Slashdotters are not notable for self-esteem or tact. Perhaps the question should be directed to a psychologist. Or an advice columnist. Even an ettiquite expert [amazon.com] would probably give better advice!
The good (not legal) advice (Score:1)
Re:The good (not legal) advice (Score:1, Offtopic)
My apologies (Score:2)
Anyway, that's the problem with humor: it's damned subjective. So
Re:More slashdot legal advice... (Score:5, Funny)
He's asking for a combination of legal and sex advice on slashdot. The only way to one up that is to ask us for spelling tips as well.
Re:More slashdot legal advice... (Score:1)
True insight (Score:2)
Here is some insight : tell your friend he needs to put out or get out.
If only my life problems were so easy to solve.
Now if the issue was that she was several decades older and several dozen kilograms heavier
it's tough shit for him, since (Score:3, Insightful)
The choice is simple for him. He can simply ask her to stop asking him out, and say no. If she continues, it's sexual harassment. If not, it isn't. If she stops using him as an outside consultant, then it's tough shit for him, for the above-reasons.
Consider this scenario. I regularly go to a hair-stylist who's a attractive woman, and regularly ask her out, and make comments about how pretty she is. She's more than welcomed to ask me to stop, and then if I continue, it's sexual harassment. But if I stop going there, then she has no legal grounds on which to complain.
Indeed, there is a good argument to be made that I was just doing whatever I could to obey the law, since -- being around her -- I just couldn't resist asking her that.
Are you sure? (Score:3, Insightful)
Consider this scenario. I regularly go to a hair-stylist who's a attractive woman, and regularly ask her out, and make comments about how pretty she is. She's more than welcomed to ask me to stop, and then if I continue, it's sexual harassment.
I'm not sure she could claim sexual harassment since you don't have any power over her. It's not like you're her boss. It may not be particularly nice of you but I don't think she would have any legal recourse against you. Most likely she would simply refuse to
Re:Are you sure? (Score:2, Insightful)
As a contractor, your "boss" is not your boss at all, they are your customer. If they decide to stop using your services, for whatever reason, that's tough shit, as the parent pointed out.
when I'm right I'm right (Score:2)
Re:it's tough shit for him, since (Score:2)
you totally misunderstand my point (Score:2)
(2) In regards to CA and restraining orders, the second amendment doesn't give you the right to constantly hang around someone.
(3) My entire point was that if I refused to come back to her salon as a customer, she would have no cause -- what-so-ever -- for complaint against me. This is the same situation as it would be if this woman didn't ask the consultant back after he asks her not to ask him out anymore.
Re:you totally misunderstand my point (Score:2)
(2) In regards to CA and restraining orders, the second amendment doesn't give you the right to constantly hang around someone.
I think the parent poster is saying that, in California, if a restraining order is issued against you, you're no longer allowed to have guns. This sounds far too unconstitutional to be true, but California's always been weird.
Re:you totally misunderstand my point (Score:2)
Re:it's tough shit for him, since (Score:1)
Re:it's tough shit for him, since (Score:1)
The lack of understanding of the 2nd Amendment is hardly limited to California - thanks to decades of government "education" it is pretty much universal.
If you want to see what the rest of the country will be like soon, you need to watch two places - California, and your friendly neighborhood inner city. These are the places where limitless, lawless "government" has grown the fastest, and while there is resistance in both places, neither community by and large has either the means nor the will to resist
Seems fairly straightforward (Score:4, Insightful)
This isn't exactly sexual harassment, however, as he hasn't said 'No, and please stop asking.'
So why hasn't he told her to stop? Maybe she doesn't realize how much it's bothering him. Hell, from your description it's not even clear to me how much it's bothing him. If it's not that big of a bother to him, then he should just bare it. If it is creeping him out, then he needs to tell her that and not be a coward about not getting asked back for more work. Is this his only client or something? Part of the joy of being a consultant is that you can pick and choose your employer. He doesn't have to put up with that shit unless he wants to.
I don't understand why you are asking us about it. It seems like his course of action should be clear *if* he is clear about his own feelings on the matter. Either it's a big deal to him or it isn't.
GMD
Re:Seems fairly straightforward (Score:5, Funny)
Did you mean "just bear it", as in silently endure the harrassment, or "just bare it", as in take it off and do the nekkid hokey-pokey with ol' Sarcophagranny?
Get some balls (Score:1)
Everyone seems to this this is such a problem, just tell her no!
bzzt! he's not an employee (Score:2)
Re:bzzt! he's not an employee (Score:2)
My suggestions (Score:4, Interesting)
He could also meet a girlfriend/fiancé for lunch, and plan it so that his boss sees his partner. This partner could be just a friend - the boss is not likely to know the difference.
Or he could combine both of the above and meet a pretend boyfriend for lunch?
Definately document the harassment - to use just in case the situation gets worse.
Re:My experience (Score:1)
Tell him.. (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Tell him.. (Score:2)
Sexual Harassment (Score:3, Interesting)
Wrong. It can be interpreted as sexual harassment regardless of your reluctance to state it as a problem. However, nothing can be done unless you alert the issue to the next person in line of management. When a manager is the source of sexual harassment, the liability on your employer is higher. If this woman has "hire and fire" abilities, she is potentially costing your company a great amount of money, and should be alerted to begin with. Second, while you may not want to sue the person, filing a BOLI (or equivalent to your jurisdiction) complaint against your employer, who cannot legally retaliate against you in any way.)
Your status as a consultant (as ,I a person who merely works in an employment defense law firm and reads dozens of pleadings of this nature a day, can advise you) may complicate matters, but shouldn't entirely limit your employer's liability.
Examine any handbook that you received. You can easily construe your work environment as being hostile because of this as well, claim (dis)stress damages, and onward.
But... I have a feeling that you just want this to stop, and talking to a higher level supervisor should solve your problem quickly. Be sure to exhaust any administrative remedies as you can muster. There are always better ways to solve a problem than litigation.
I am not a lawyer, etc. etc.
Re:Sexual Harassment (Score:2)
Re:Sexual Harassment (Score:1)
And I cautionally used e-prime liberally in my analysis so as not to imply that it was applicable beyond a leap of variables.
Re:Sexual Harassment (Score:1)
On that note, my opinion is that you stand to loose your shirt (no pun intended) on this if you try to bring it up. The popular vision is (equal rights, women are equal to men, etc not withstanding) that no woman could every really har
Re:Sexual Harassment (Score:2)
A consultant is not an employee. If anything, a consultant's client -- in this case, the woman -- is the customer, and can terminate the ongoing consultating at any time for any reason. She could stop going to him as a consultant, and start going to someone else, explicitly saying
Re:Sexual Harassment (Score:1)
That doesn't stop the guy from rocking the boat just in concern for the company itself. Regardless of this individual's situation, the company has a potential problem with a management employee who needs to be regulated in some way through training and or punishment.
Re:Sexual Harassment (Score:3, Informative)
Wrong wrong. The offender doesn't even have to know he (or she) has offended anyone. The way harrassment (sexual and other) policies are written at many companies, "harrassment" is defined as any behavior that someone else thinks is harrassing. Regardless of how innocently it was intended, regardless of whether the offender was asked to stop.
ObWarStory: I was fired from my last [zebra.com]
Re:Sexual Harassment (Score:2)
It's too
Re:Sexual Harassment (Score:2)
Correct on #1 (Illinois is an 'at-will' state, which pretty much means an employer can fire you for anything not explicitly forbidden by anti-discrimination laws), incorrect on #2. I'd had glowing annual reviews and had been largely responsible for a product that made the company
Re:Sexual Harassment (Score:2)
Oh please.
This is exactly the kind of nonsense that's making the workplace truly hostile. The sad thing is that the lawmakers buy this bullshit.
What the poster described isn't sexual harrassment. It's called making a few passes. So the old lady thinks he's hot. He should be flattered, and either take her up on her offer, or else say 'thanks but no.' Instead he leads her on and talks behind her back about 'sexual harrassment'.
Ball her (Score:1)
2. ??????
3. Profit!
Go to HR (Score:5, Informative)
Then, if your friend's contract is terminated without cause, he can bring a whistle-blower suit.
But I doubt that will happen. I think this is a more likely scenario:
Your Friend <knocks on doorframe>
HR person: Hello, come in, how may I help you?
YF: Well, it's like this - I'm a contractor, and my supervisor from this shop keeps hitting on me. I've asked her to stop, but she keeps doing it. Here's a copy of the last letter I wrote to her about it....
HR <snatching letter>: Let me see that. Hmmmmm, ummmhmmm. OK. Do you wish to file a formal complaint?
YF: I'd like this to stop. If it stops without a complaint, that would be best, but....
HR: OK. Excuse me. I must go kill somebody now. <Exits office at warp speed.>
Believe me - IF your friend documents the request to stop the harrasment, they will be VERY careful about any action against him - even if they WERE going to terminate his contract for some other reason, they will make sure to have all their ducks, their friend's ducks, and any ducks that happen to be passing by on migration in a row before they do.
Whistle-blower suits cause a lot a pain and suffering to organizations....
Re:Go to HR (Score:1)
Salesmonkey: "Yes sir, your clients can order product online, even without a secure ssl or https line... we can just have their credit card numbers emailed to you with this link I like to
Re:Go to HR (Score:2)
Re:Go to HR (Score:2)
However, there is a difference between quitting over shady business practices and sexual harrasement - sad but true. The former will get YOU blacklisted, the latter will get the offending company blacklisted, witch-hunted, and perp-walked on an ambush-journalism show.
Yes, it is sad that our society does not encourage personal responsiblit
Re:Go to HR (Score:1)
I went to the customer, the customer-of-the-customer, and the customer of the customer's customer. (three levels of customers).
The second level was sticking it to the third and the first level stuck it to me for walking. I went to all of them and explained my situation. The little guy was mad because he was lied to, and I was supposed to design all the stuff he wanted (and was promised by the second
Re:Go to HR (Score:2)
What law is this?
Useful Slashdot Advice (Score:1, Funny)
Hey, ask Slashdot a question, get a Slashdot answer.
In other news, Which Law Blog Can Advise Me About SDRAM? [dashslot.org]
just a thought (Score:1)
Assuming she has her own... (Score:1)
(1) Get a 15" dildo
(2) Get her nekkid in a dark room
(3) Insert dildo all the way into her ass
(4) She won't come back for more
(5) Repeat 1-4
(6) Profit.... (ooops...wrong thread!)
-psy
Two choices, Legal and Practical (Score:4, Insightful)
Legally you have been wronged (although to prove it you have to have a record, and have to rebuff her in obvious ways). Practically, you have a dilema. I think the OP was asking about practical solutions.
Practically, don't lead her on and don't spit in her face. Either is disingenuous. Are you doing the job? do your job. Are you looking to cash in on a lawsuit? sue.
Discrimination/harassment/people don't love you is a fact of life. People that can't hide irrational prejudice lose in the long run. On the margins, shit happens. Deal.
My Slashdot Legal Advice (Score:4, Funny)
For those of you who do not have the domain warnings turned on, that link should be followed by a [goatse.cx]. For those of you new to Slashdot you can directly translate that to Don't Click On That Link (TM, Copyright 2004 Slashdot Inc., "No Click Does Nothing" technology Patent # 4,234,123).
Also note for once, I'm not checking the link, so that may not be quite right. (Is it supposed to end in
If that doesn't turn her off of you, nothing will.
This has been Slashdot Legal Advice (TM, Copyright 2003 Slashdot Inc., Patent Pending now in Five Countries). Remember, whatever you do, when you need legal advice do not seek out a professional attorney when you can have the benefit and wisdom of hundreds of random yahoos who could not care less about your plight.
Re:My Slashdot Legal Advice (Score:2)
No, I'm not going to click on it to verify.
Re:My Slashdot Legal Advice (Score:1)
Re:My Slashdot Legal Advice (Score:2)
Seems like a dangerous tactic to me.
Just say yes (Score:2, Insightful)
How about this for a plan? (Score:4, Interesting)
1. closet gay, shy about coming out;
2. still recovering from a STD;
3. unable to sustain an erection because of a personal trauma;
4. maintaining a long distance relationship with a girl he's never met but hopes to meet up with in a year a so;
5. currently celibate because of a bad breakup;
6. saving himself for when he's married.
Any of these give him plenty of reasons not to take up her advances yet give her slim hope for the future. With any luck, that slim hope will translate into getting your friend more work beyond his current contract but lessening the attention that he'll get from his supervisor.
Remember, the trick is getting her to back off from being all over him but without making her feel totally rejected. If she thinks the door might be open for her just a crack, or that it might open for her down the line, then she'll have a reason to keep him around.
At the very least, your friend should try to avoid a confrontation at any cost. If he doesn't "break her heart" then she might keep him on as eye candy. If he does, then she might just bitch about him "not being a team player" or "having an attitude" to other potential employers.
Re:How about this for a plan? (Score:2)
that'll definately put her off, unless she's into really scary people (in which case, watch out
Oh come on... (Score:2)
MILF?
First off, IANAL (Score:2, Insightful)
If this was a normal employment relationship, there would be two issues: first, sexual harassment in the workplace is illegal; second, firing someone for complaining about sexual harassment is also illegal.
Unfortunately, I believe one of the downsides to working as a consultant is that terminaing a contract for complaining about sexual harassment is not a problem (unless the termination is against the provisions of the contract, but it sounds like, in this case, the contract simply wouldn't be renewed).
Easy solution: (Score:2)
Now let's see if she'll STILL ask your friend out.
Six words: (Score:1)
Easy (Score:2)
BOFH her. Hide a tape recorder, get her on tape making advances. Then call her voicemail from an untraceable phone number and leave a copy of the conversation on her voice mail. While you're at it, download one of the kiddie pr0n viruses to her machine and create a scheduled task that will change her homepage to the kiddie pr0n and simultaneously email the link to her boss and her boss's boss with "hey, Bill, look at this great website I found" (but only if neither's name is really Bill, or your friend's
That's called "Marketing" (Score:2)
In this market? I know a number of guys out of work that'd take his spot.
The most obvious question... (Score:5, Funny)
Is she hot?
Tell him to post a picture if he expects to get a good response from this crowd.
I can see all of the little geeks at home: "Ooo, I can get hired to code and older women will hit on me!"
She has the power, but... (Score:2)
Keep putting it off, and tell him to never get himself into a situation where she's alone with him in a locked room. Eventually she'll get frustrated, and your friend can try to keep the relationship platonic, because after that point it'll come to a crux and she'll decide whether or not to make good on her implied threat. If he's still working there, he can s
Tape her in the act (Score:2, Insightful)
Given that there is no expectation of privacy in the corporate environment, you're probably home-free to secretly tape record conversations from a privacy and eavesdropping standpoint. If a manager can spy on employees then someone can do the same to the managers, especially since sexual harassment is very much the company's business.
Taped proof m
Tell her... (Score:1)
If you don't have a rash, go get one. Problem solved.
Next!
Is this.... (Score:1)
shit, i should really quit this shit....
hmmm (Score:1)
Having been in a similar situation... (Score:2)
While the woman who was harassing me wasn't my direct supervisor, I did have to work with her on a daily basis. I never bothered pressing charges, despite the fact that she harassed me in front of several of her employees on several occasions. Why not? Too embarassing.
I was 19, she was 41. Had she been hot, it would've been a different story.
should not that be "Sexual Harassment OF..."? (Score:1)
IANAL, *but*... (Score:2)
That said, if you plan on suing (and it is possible for a man to do so), be prepared for a long and co
Stupidest question ever (Score:2)
Let me get this straight: she asked him out, he didn't say yes, he didn't say no either. So how exactly is she supposed to interpret this? For all she knows, he's playing hard to get, and his vague answers are attempts at flirting. There is no point in getting all passive-aggressive about this - your friend is quite frankly an idiot if he thinks that he can string someo
Re:Stupidest question ever (Score:3, Insightful)
*applause*.
They're called gonads. He needs to grow a pair and say "Look, I get the impression that you're making advances on me. If you weren't, hey, sorry for misinterpreting you, and please disregard the rest of this speech, which will make no sense to you. If
Acquire some spoofed "lab test results" (Score:2)
That or just get some of the "cream" etc to cure said condition and leave it on the desk...
That'll probably back her off a bit.
EO/EEO Training (Score:2)
A short FAQ [army.mil] is online to spell out how to follow through on sexual harassment situation. In the Military, if your boss is the one who is sexually harassing you, then you can/must go to her boss, who is required to look into the matter, or else be subject to the same penalties has if s
EEOC is no help (Score:2)
He needs the Ronco Rotisserie Womanizer (Score:2)
Have him tell her... (Score:2)
Re:Be Serious. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Be Serious. (Score:2)
Some pe
Re:Be Serious. (Score:4, Funny)
-- My brother, though I'm sure it's not originally his.
Re:Be Serious. (Score:1)
Actually, it goes like this:
"Put a flag over her head and do it to your country!"
Re:Be Serious. (Score:2)
"Aw, put a flag on her head and fuck 'er for glory!"
Re:Be Serious. (Score:2)
This guy is in an excellent situation, and little does he realise how lucky he is!
Re:It is very difficult... (Score:1)
so, by implication, you're saying that it is ok for a woman to hit a man, no matter what? sorry, you can't have it both ways. it's either ok for both to punch each other out or it's not.
It's not right either way, but on average, men tend to be a lot physically stronger than women.
Also, call me old-fashioned if you'd like - I'll take it as a compliment - but I was raised to believe that God gave men a little extra strength so they could protect women and children, not hurt them.
Re:It is very difficult... (Score:2)
You have a healthy like of guns and were raised to believe in God making men to protect women, old fashioned values!
Let me guess, you're a christian conservative!?!??!
If you are I'm gonna have to ask you to hand in your Slashdot Anarchist card. Please don't make a scene.
Re:It is very difficult... (Score:1)
Nope . . don't like guns . . . but do acknowledge the right of all people to defend themselves, which generally requires guns.
I do have traditional values that have been called "liberal" at some times in history and "conservative" in others, but both of those ideologies as they are represented in "government" today are as repugnant to me as to any other thinking person.
Really no label fits perfectly, but I'm more of a minarchist-bordering-on-anarchist libertarian than anything else.
As for being a Chri
Re:It is very difficult... (Score:2)
Re:It is very difficult... (Score:2)
Anyone (man or woman) deserves to be protected, but likewise, I am not to be caused harm... Any woman (or man) foolish enough to elevate a conflict to the level of striking me (I am a rather imposing 6'1" and 205 lbs marathoner who still benches his weight...) is no longer deserving of my protection. I will try not to do any more damage than is necesary to end the conflict, but, I WILL end the conflict at that point...
P.S. I ain't the AC