A Geek's Tour Of North America?

PlanetThoughtful writes "Later this year I'm taking advantage of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to backpack around the U.S. and Canada (Sept 2003 to whenever I have to come home again). Being a lifelong Australian geek (think of Steve Irwin and then stop, because I'm nothing like that and neither is anyone else, Steve Irwin included) I'm desperately curious: what would make it to the travel itinerary of Slashdot's all-time geek-tour of North America? Think electronics, architecture, astronomy, enlightenment! Think gadgets, bookstores, software, comics, The Library Of Congress, The Smithsonian, Wanting To See Really Amazing Things! Think travelling on a budget, then forget about that if it's a 'You Must See This Before You Die' sort of suggestion. And then stop thinking about these things, and actually tell me!"

don't come here!

[the_greywolf]

Twin Falls, Idaho is a technoplogy SINKHOLE! in fact, it might be a good idea to avoid Idaho completely, unless you're interested in Micron [micron.com], the company behind Crucial Memory [crucial.com], which is in Boise, Idaho. but stay AWAY from Twin Falls! there's nothing but HICKS here!

three words

[Anonymous Coward]

Wanting To See Really Amazing Things

Atlanta's Gold Club.

Something to see-

[IWantMoreSpamPlease]

At Washington DC, it's the US Constitution and the Bill of Rights. See them now before they go away completely.

Forget the big sights, Fry's is where it's at

[sk1tch]

What you want to see if Fry's Electronics. They have them in Texas and California and a few states in between. Imagine something the size of that big desert you guys call Australia, and imagine it full of electronics at a decent price. It's not quite so big as the great aussie desert, I guess, but Fry's is huge. I'm not ashamed to admit I shed tears of joy on my first visit to this mecca of geekdom.

Steve Irwin

[jwbrown77]

Why is it that Australians seem touchy about Steve Irwin?

Many Americans like his show (myself included), but that doesn't mean that we think of Steve Irwin as the prototypical Australian, no more than Paul Hogan, or Russel Crowe, etc.

I would hate for other to judge all Americans by, say, George W. Bush.

DON'T FORGET!!

[Dorothy 86]

Whatever you do, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT forget to bring along the most important piece of equipment.
...
a towel!

Clearly, for the budget-limited geek,

[MickLinux]

the All-American Geek tour begins and ends at a single, broadband-connected computer.

His own.

Oh, with a year's supply of microwave meals.

Re:Marconi wireless station on Cape Cod..

[Gorm the DBA]

Someone should turn marconi's wireless station into a WiFi access point. Or, perhaps I should lay off the drugs

Redmond, Washington

[Anonymous Coward]

It harbors a mystical power that engulfs all which it touches. Men are strangely drawn to its all-consuming presence. Many never leave its grip.

There be fun in Nevada!

[Leme]

May I suggest the many fine establishments [nvbrothels.net] located in Nevada.

Very geek friendly.

The coasts

[DNS-and-BIND]

Whatever you do, absolutely do not venture outside of America's two coasts. Visit Los Angeles and New York City, make a stop in San Francisco, and that's it, really. You can't find good coffee or free WiFi access anywhere outside these places, not to mention quality people. All Americans who could have moved to one of these three cities, as they have the reputation of being the only places in America where the people don't drool while watching "Survivor". You might want to visit Las Vegas, but rest assured there's nothing there but corporations. The people who produce American culture call the wasteland between New York and Los Angeles "flyover territory" for good reason. There's nothing there except armed rednecks.

At least, this is what my friends in New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco tell me. It must be true, because they're the elite of America.

Re:don't come here!

[Lee Horrocks]

Really no problem with that, since we know that Idaho does not exist [uidaho.edu].

Re:Forget the big sights, Fry's is where it's at

[justMichael]

I'm not ashamed to admit I shed tears of joy on my first visit to this mecca of geekdom.

Wait until you have to return something to them... You'll really shed some tears. ;-)

I quess lots of others [google.com] think so as well.

Re:Steve Irwin

[swb]

I don't know, but between Steve Irwin, Olivia Newton John, "Maybe the Dingo Ate Your Baby", Men At Work, AC/DC and penal colony jokes, there's a lot of good material to dig at the Aussies about.

A guy I know was standing in line at immigration control in Sydney after a delayed flight from Hong Kong. The guy in front of him was British business man and handed the customs person his passport. The Brit was giving terse, unfriendly answers to the questions he was being asked. When asked if he had ever been convicted of a crime, the British businessman was pushed over his limit of bureaucratic annoyance and replied "I didn't think it was a requirement anymore." He was refused entry!

Anyway, if you had to live with Irwin, Newton-John, et al, you'd be pissy, too!

Re:Bay Area!

[Sposh]

Have you seen the Nuclear Wessels?

Re:The Big Tire

[Anonymous Coward]

and it's right down the road from a HUGE Comcast billboard. What else could a geek ask for?

Montreal

[luugi]

We have a lot of strip clubs. I suggest you "Chez Pare". There's some fine honeys up in that place.

Re:The Secret Stash

[JayAndSilentBob]

And when at Jay And Silent Bob's Secret Stash, be sure to pick up some some wonderful View Askew merchandise. We suggest the most expensive thing in the store. Two of them just to be sure.

Holland, Michigan home of the Taco

[Bill, Shooter of Bul]

I've actually been to Holland several times, but this was before there was a slashdot. I know Cmdr Taco would hate having tons of people knocking on his door everyday, but it would be cool for about 15 seconds to see him in action. Then it would be time to visit the wooden shoe factory.

My Dick

[Anonymous Coward]

It's so huge, it's definitely a "must see before you die".

Of course, you really only need to be on the same hemisphere as me to see it, so you don't need to come all the way to the States...

Re:Steve Irwin

[NiceGeek]

Well, hell I wouldn't mind living with ONJ...even now she's quite the babe :)

Why not visit Egg Troll's apartment?!

[egg troll]

Come visit my lovely flat, in glorious Oakland. While staying in my cramped studio, you can experience:

• The thrill of my cats, Manny and Linus wrestling over you in the middle of the night. Perhaps you'll even get to hear the Siamese serenade you at 3am with his beautiful and magistic song, entitled "Yowling at the Leaves Just Outside the Window".
  
• The sound of random gunfire as MC Hammer narrowly escapes another crack deal gone bad.
  
• My glorious kitchen, where you'll have your choice of over a dozen different varieties of Top Ramen!
  
• A post-op transsexual neighbor guarenteed to give ya "da willys".
  
• A cable TV where, during the daytime, you too can watch over a half-dozen judge shows! Accompany Egg Troll as we watch Judge Judy straighten out someone who claims that he had a right to wreck his girlfriend's Camero after he suspected her of cheating on him.
  
• A huge collection of obscure, pretentious music that Egg Troll uses to convince himself he's really a hipster...a hipster who spends six hours a day on Slashdot.
  
• And much, much more.
  

Book your reservation now [mailto], before its too late!!

Re:Forget the big sights, Fry's is where it's at

[justMichael]

Must resist... urge to... make bad joke...

Damn...
So let me get this straight, soft_guy was at Fry's looking for XXX. Were you trying to upgrade your nick to hard_guy?

Please accept my apologies for a complete lack of self control.

Burning Man at Home

[Anonymous Coward]

How to have the Burning Man experience from the comfort of your own home:

Pay an escort of your affectional preference subset to not bathe for five days, cover themselves in glitter, dust, and sunscreen, wear a skanky neon wig, dance close naked, then say they have a lover back home at the end of the night.

Tear down your house. Put it in a truck. Drive 10 hours in any direction. Put the house back together. Invite everyone you meet to come over and party. When everyone leaves, follow them back to their homes, drink all their booze, and break things.

Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.

Stack all your fans in one corner of your living room. Put on your most fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full blast. Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.

Pitch your tent next to the wall of speakers in a crowded, noisy club. Go to sleep. Wake up 2 hours later in a 110+ degree tent.

Only use the toilet in a house that is at least 3 blocks away. Drain all the water from the toilet. Only flush it every 4 days. Hide all the toilet paper.

Visit a restaurant and pay them to let you alternate lying in the walk-in freezer and sitting in the oven.

Don't sleep for 5 days. Take a wide variety of hallucinogenic/emotion altering drugs. Pick a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Cut, burn, electrocute, bruise, and sunburn various parts of your body. Forget how you did it. Don't go to a doctor.

Buy a new pair of favorite shoes. Throw one shoe away.

Spend a whole year rummaging through thrift stores for the perfect, most outrageous costume. Forget to pack it.

Listen to music you hate for 168 hours straight, or until you think you are going to scream. Scream. Realize you'll love the music for the rest of your life.

Get so drunk you can't recognize your own house. Walk slowly around the block for 5 hours.

Sprinkle dirty sand in all your food.

Mail $200 to the Reno casino of your choice.

Go to a museum. Find one of Salvador Dali's more disturbing but beautiful paintings. Climb inside it.

Spend thousands of dollars on a deeply personal art work. Hide it in a funhouse on the edge of the city. Blow it up.

Set up a DJ system downwind of a three alarm fire. Play a short loop of drum'n'bass until the embers are cold.

Have a 3 a.m. soul baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms, a crocodile, and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you're hallucinating.

Exploratorium, NY Public Library

[Graymalkn]

Your first stop is San Francisco's Exploratorium [exploratorium.edu], an absolutely amazing hands-on museum dedicated to "science, art, and human perception." Exhibits range from the fun and simple to the complex and educational. Look at live chicken embryos; build a catenary arch; mess with your depth perception; stick your (gloved) hand into a mulch pit to feel the heat; explore crystal formation; spin like a top! Nothing beats this place - my wife and I even had our wedding reception there.

Your second stop will be the main branch of the New York Pubilc Library, a gorgeous 19th/early 20th century building that simply looks like a library should. If anyone gives you trouble, this is the right place to use the line, "Back off man - I'm a scientist."

Re:The coasts

[mfrank]

Ask the people in the flyover territory if they mind that you think that way. They don't, because it keeps all the riffraff in New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco.

Lots of geeks here

[r_j_prahad]

A geek's tour just would not be complete without a visit to this place.

United States Courthouse
Room 3035
280 South First Street
San Jose, CA 95113-3099

This is the United States Bankruptcy Court for the Northern District of California, formerly known as Silicon Valley. Spend a day here and learn all about the new economy the hard way.

Re:Two in New Mexico

[Some Dumbass...]

The Trinity Test Site. Only open a few times a year, your chance to see where the first atomic bomb was tested.

Bring _strong_ sunscreen.

You forgot a few more things...

[Anonymous Coward]

Get a speeding ticket at an Indian reservation speed trap - where the limit drops from 65mph to 25mph within 30 feet

Rip the rear bumper off your rented RV

Find out the sewage drainage line on your rented RV has a leak in it.

Re:The coasts

[pavon]

As proud armed redneck I would like to ask you to stop exporting your rich hippies to Santa Fe, NM.
Thank you.

Quarks Bar - Hilton - Las Vegas

[PulledPorkNacho]

Where else can you get drunk and fight Klingons and Romulans legally?