Identity Theft Countermeasures?

gbell asks: "Stories about reconstructing shredded documents and horrific tales of rampant identity theft (at least 750K victims/year) have me scared and wondering if I'm being careful enough. What are savvy Slashdot readers doing to protect their financial identity? I already have fraud alerts on my credit reports, which make sure I'm contacted if any requests for additional credit happen. I've called 800-5-OPT-OUT and stopped all the credit card offers. I use unique passwords on all of my online financial accounts. I shred and pulp-ify all documents. I order periodic copies of my credit reports (although I'm irked that I have to pay for them - they're only free if you've been recently denied credit). Is there anything else I should be doing? People spend years sorting out ID theft, and I'm wondering when credit-abusers will start crying 'fraud' just to get out of debt... making things even harder for the true victims. Cops don't have time to do anything, even if you find the perp yourself. The situation looks like it's going to get much worse, and I'm willing to take steps now to increase my security at the cost of convenience. Suggestions?"

Two measures

[Anonymous Coward]

1. Delete your identity. I mean, really, do you need one? Just pay with cash and work for money under the table!

2. Steal someone elses and use it as your own. Then, if it's stolen, your real identity is still safe, and you can go steal another one.

Worried? bah ...

[Ryokos_boytoy]

Just do what I did ...ruin your credit and stay unemployed. I couldn't give my identity away.

I suggest tinfoil

[Dancin_Santa]

Tin, not aluminium.

Change your name to something stupid ..

[Anonymous Coward]

Such as Bill Gates.

I mean who is going to try and steal his identity?

Easy

[platypus]

Just steal an extra identity and use that.

Paper Shredders

[mr.henry]

I've been thinking about investing in a good one. One interesting piece of trivia I found is that Oliver North used an Intimus [intimus.com] 007 to shred the Iran-Contra stuff back in 1987. The current incarnation of this model appears to be the Intimus 0077 SX [intimus.com]. This thing cuts pieces down to 1/32" x 1/2". A quick search on Froogle [froogle.com] says it goes for around $4500!!

They make some much cheaper models ($200-300), but the Olie model would be pretty cool to have.

Countermeasures

[Theodore Logan]

Is there anything else I should be doing?

Consider getting one of these [c2.com].

Re:watch out for receipts

[Maditude]

Or just dump something suitably gross in with 'em. I just dump out my chaw-spit cans.

(-1, disgusting)

Re:750k

[seraph93]

Based on your current practices I calculate that you are more likely to be eaten by a grue than to have your ID stolen.

So is preventing identity theft just a matter of keeping a lantern handy at all times?

"It is pitch black. You are likely to have your identity stolen."

No problem...

[sevensharpnine]

It's important to remember that even though identity thieves are among the lowest of criminals, they aren't necessarily stupid. It's a common tactic for thieves to prey upon those who offer the greatest "return" on the investment of the thieves' time. Those most at risk are likely to have a number of common factors: high-limit or even limitless credit cards, excellent credit ratings, a complex network of high-balance accounts in various banks, a significant amount of money in savings and investments, etc. In order to best protect yourself and your loved ones, I recommend that you minimize your profile to the would-be thieves. There are a number of simple steps you can take to ensure your safety. For example:

* Do you have student loans? If so, consider letting the payments slip a little. Nobody wants an identity that can't take out student loans!

* Keeping up on your car payments? Stop. Thieves are less likely to steal the identity of someone who is being harassed by a repo man. As an added bonus, your chances of being victim to auto-theft just decreased significantly!

* Do you have a mortgage? Possibly, but I doubt you have enough of them! No thief wants to inherit the wrath of a bank trying to track down three mortgages' worth of money!

* How are your long-term investments? CD's? Mutual funds? Privately-managed portfolio? It doesn't matter; all of these glitter to the eyes of a veteran identity thief. You are much safer holding your money in an interest-free highly-liquid invesment account (coffee can). By reducing your apparent (and real) wealth, you become a much less desirable target.

* Employed? Then why not just toss your credit cards out the window? Nothing says "bullseye" like reliable employment. And consider this: when's the last time your heard someone in the unemployment line complain about identity theft. Never? Nobody likes to go through the effort of stealing an identity only to be rewarded with food stamps and meager checks.

In the end, identity theft will remain a significant problem in America--but only to those unlucky enough to ignore the above advice. The intelligent self-accountant will even find some more creative ways to be less attractive to thieves; consider child-support payments, court-ordered deportation, and terrorist sponsorship as well! Your safety in these trying times is only limited by your imagination.

Tsk, tsk, you need to be doing /so/ much more...

[adrianbaugh]

First things first, get your fingerprints removed. A good big bucket of nitric acid should do the trick. Next up: those pesky iris patterns. I recommend you gouge out your eyeballs with a spoon and use the sockets to mount a pair of webcams. There was a story on slashdot a while back about a neural interface for these puppies. Remember, if you don't have eyeballs they can't steal your iris patterns! So far, so good. The next problem is your DNA. The bad news is, this is a cinch to steal and there isn't much you can do about it short of going round in a giant body condom for the rest of your life. The good news is, it's quite hard to use. However, before the time when ATMs authenticate you by taking a cheek cell sample I recommend you look into the latest in DNA resequencing technology and splice in a good long GPG public key somewhere. You'll have to memorize the secret key, all 4096 bits of it, and then wear a metal Faraday cage round your skull to prevent people reading it right out of your brain. -- There's a bunch of loonies in here. Loonies, I tell you!

I need your SSN

[Ranger]

In order for me to help you. I will need your full name, ssn, date of birth, and a major credit card.

Just watch...

[Pvt_Waldo]

Someone will post, "Use linux!" and then someone will point out Microsoft "flaws" and soon we'll be totally off topic :^)

identify theft? I am immune!

[rogerborn]

I personally spent all my time over the past few years never paying bills on time, but at the very last minute. I especially did not pay any credit debts I had, but kept the merchandise and settled for a small payment with the credit company who loaned me the money for buying the items in the first place.

This all gave me an excellent (unusable to anyone) credit rating. In fact it is so good that now no one will loan me money. I cannot even buy a house or a car on credit.

You cannot imagine the peace of mind this gives me as no one will ever steal my credit identity for any reason. On top of all this, my present credit situation has saved me hundreds of thousands of dollars in credit interest over the past few years which I would have been paying had I still had good credit. It has allowed me to buy everything with cash, saving up for those things I really need. A small side effect of this is that impulse purchases, like that new sports car I really want, but which I do not need, are effectively impossible with my current credit standing. What a blessing!

I did not start out to do all this, but having gotten cancer and being unable to work for a few years has helped me tremendously to achieve my current credit status.

=)

Roger "Dodger" Born
writing.bonrgraphics.com

Kill the thief

[macemoneta]

Seriously. Hunt them down, and kill them. If they are going to ruin your life, you might as well have some fun with their entrails.

After a couple of us crazies "settle accounts", I think you'll have a hard time finding someone willing to commit identity theft again.

Bullshit!

[Anonymous Coward]

Why just the other day I was shopping and tried to use that exact same number! The clerk said that he thought it was a fake number, and that he heard it was passed around in wallets back during the 40's and 50's. Of course I had to weasel out of this. I explained to him that I felt giving me SS number was too much and I was worried about privacy issues. He then said I didn't need to worry since the free market would ensure companies would work hard to keep my info secret. I asked how, and he went on about the negative publicity a corp could receive if it was found out to be leaking personal info. Therefore, since they wanted my business, it was in their best interest to safeguard my data. I retorted with the fact that since so many computer crimes go unreported, his theory doesn't hold true for all situations. I said that until laws like the one passed recently in California go into effect nationwide, we all have to be careful with our data. The clerk responded that the free market would, in time, iron itself out and end up with a situation in which our data is safe. He went on to tell me he didn't believe in the protectionist role of government. I argued that the government wouldn't be protectionist, it would simply be enforcing the will of the people and not simply acting in their best interests. He was still leery of this proposition and said he was more comfortable with a system that didn't overburden corporations with unnecessary legislation. We finally agreed that this was primarily a wait-and-see issue, and laws or lack thereof would have to be determined at a future point when e-commerce and such had fully spread. Eventually I did get my Big Mac and fries from him, even though I disagree with him on principle.

Used catbox litter

[ehintz]

My solution: the remains of 2 weeks of cat excrement. Anybody that gets something outta my garbage is gonna pay a hefty stanky price.

They Can't Steal What You Don't Have

[John Hasler]

> The situation looks like it's going to get much
> worse, and I'm willing to take steps now to
> increase my security at the cost of convenience.
> Suggestions?

Try being poor. Works for me.

Re:You're overreacting

[aligma]

Oh, SHIT. 'Cuz I've had my identity stolen.

And because his identity was stolen, now he has to post as AC ;)

Re:Paying for Credit Reports

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow, a FICO of 780. Now there's an identity worth stealing! I'll bet your first name starts with J, and your last name is Clarke, or some variation thereof. If I bothered to click on your ID, or search the web for you, I bet I could find out even more about you.

No, no,... just shed your identity and be done...

[MickLinux]

Hey, look at me. I'm not posting as anonymous coward, but only because I don't have an identity crisis yet. But if you do have one; if you're wondering how schizophrenic you must be to be racking up credit card bills on the same day in Chicago, Maryland, Nevada, and Florida, why fret?

Just shed your identity and be done with it.

Identity theft is a problem because our government identically is holding people responsible for their identity, and at the same time actively destroying the infrastructure, which results in theft, and puts a premium on the sale of identities.

The solution, it would seem, is simple: don't have an identity!

Listen to yourself: "It's easy, low-risk, and quite lucrative." Is it illegal? If so, then that means that the government is deliberately not enforcing those laws. Which means that the government actually wants identity theft to be happening. Which means that anything you do is not going to work:

Pass laws: Oh. Riiight. Do you know how many laws we have? Do you know how many laws just your state has? Do you know what they say? Do you know what percentage make sense, grammatically speaking? This is an answer that our government loves.

Hold companies accountable Stop the world... that isn't America any more, and America has conquered the world. Companies are there specifically to avoid accountability.

No. Sorry, but the answer is just to shed your identity. Once your identity has been stolen, take advantage of it. Give up your three names -- who needs them anyway? -- and just call yourself "Bill" (or whatever your first name is). Make it official. Then go out, and start dropping your social security number out there to as many illegal immigrant rings as you can. Why, even SELL the information. Make sure that you all are "Bill", and take control of the world's largest voting block.

Note to the unaware: This is parody, but as with all humor, there is a touch of truth somewhere here....

Re:You're overreacting

[chimpo13]

Try making up a good last name. I use "Smith".

Ever so sincerely,

Dave uh... "Smith"

Re:Ready just now?

[blibbleblobble]

"Hey, wait a second, you're name isn't Bryan is it?"

No, his name is now composed of unprintable ASCII characters that can't be stored in databases, and his middle-name is the Equifax end-of-record separator followed by two nulls.

Simple solution

[maiden_taiwan]

Just steal someone else's identity first. Then an identity thief who targets you will get the wrong one.

Re:Sign with your hieroglyphics name...

[dasmegabyte]

My favorite is the machines with digital signatures that the clerk never even sees. I always sign with a false name when I see these things, just to underscore the absurdity of it.

Unless they think I really am Chuck D. I'm sure he often mascarades as a nerdy suburban white boy in a button down. I guess you'd call this "Security of the First World." Hope it doesn't make me a Public Enemy.

Re:Kill the thief

[dasmegabyte]

Killing a person who has assumed your identity...wouldn't this be suicide? Which is only illegal if you're unsuccessful?

Amusing ses of shredded paper (slightly off-topic)

[aggressivepedestrian]

I did an internship at a US embassy in Africa in the early 1990s. On the weekends some of us would run in the Hash House Harriers [gthhh.com] cross-country races. The embassy staff donated their shredded documents to mark the trails. You would be running through the woods, and when you came to a fork, there would be a little pile of shredded US government secrets marking the way!

Of course, the embassies don't use your run-of-the-mill $40 Stables shredders. These shredders produced tiny little slivers that would completely disintegrate at the next rain.

I always wondered if the embassy spooks knew the foreign service officers were using the shredded bits that way.