What's the Worst Job Posting You've Seen?

Kickstart70 asks: "Recently myself and a number of friends of mine who work or worked in IT jobs have been remarking on absolutely horrible job postings for low-level IT jobs paying small change. It seems the headhunters and employers are still wanting knowledge in everything, at least one degree but preferably two, and want to keep employees on minimal wages (in the job listing linked, the wage is in Canadian dollars). Is this common everywhere? What's the worst job posting you have seen?"

Several good sites

[t0qer]

Fuck that job
http://fuckthatjob.com/index.php

E-mails of the suthibut family (doesn't seem to be updated)
http://blog.postapocalypse.com/dave/dave suthibut.a sp

Lots of them here

[EvilStein]

at Fuck That Job dot com [fuckthatjob.com] ..but you know, there are so many of these postings that it's really not that funny anymore. It just reaffirms our belief that management really is trying to squeeze everything they can out of the pee-on workers.
Gotta do something to give that CEO his bonus (studies show that executive compensation has gone up over 17% in the past year. Bah.)

In US dollars

[orthogonal]

The job pays 17.00 to 19.00 Canadian dollars per hour.

That's 13.05 to 14.58 US dollars per hour.

(No this is not a cheap anti-Canada joke. Currency conversion is taken from here [xe.com], the first Google lsiting for currency conversion [google.com].

Re:That's like...

[xgamer04]

Actually, the Canadian dollar is rising against the USD... when I traveled to Canada last march, I got about 1.6 canadian dollars, and now it's about 1.3

Re:Lots of them here

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually, what it reaffirms that most management really has no clue when it comes to computers.

I don't even work in IT at all, I'm a Architect, and it's *insane* what some people ask for when it comes to CAD skills; same story- years more experance than the software's even been available, or a posting I saw last week that require you to be a expert in four different CAD systems, have knowlege of five others, be able to *program* in the custom languages of two- and this was for a *design position* not a CAD manager or something that actually might require such knowlege. And again, like other posters are pointing out, if you're an 'expert' in AutoCAD, 3D Studio, Maya, Revit, ArchiCAD, and on, and on, then you sure as hell will be able to find a way better job than sloggin' along in some CAD-monkey position- heck, you might as well go work for a movie/animation studio, or AutoDesk!

So I think it has everything to do with the fact that Management still has no real idea what's going on, and that the rift between those of us that know about IT and those that don't is much much MUCH wider than most of us geeks would like to think. Heck, most of the people here in the office don't even understand the difference between 'reply' and 'reply all'...

I don't think it has anything to do exploitation!

Worst I've seen

[KFury]

This one's just awful [signalogic.com]

Mirrored copy:

Employment

Notice from the President
There has recently been a slight increase in customer activity and
Signalogic now has several projects pending and a few new ones active.
Because of this we are looking for embedded system engineers. However,
based on a few recent interviews, I feel the need to explain the
situation to people who may not have realized yet just how competitive
the engineering field has become in 2 years, and how many U.S. jobs are
moving permanently overseas to India, China, Russia, and other
locations. Many engineering jobs, especially ones with specialized
requirements and straightforward performance measurement, simply are not
coming back, regardless of what the various economic experts and pundits
happen to think.

Below are some requirements; please read carefully. You need to be 100%
comfortable with these before even considering to apply at Signalogic.
Your resume must be accompanied by a cover letter that includes 3 or so
paragraphs which explain clearly and thoughtfully why you are suitable
and why you meet the requirements. Otherwise, you will receive no
response from Signalogic one way or another regarding your resume and
any other information that you might send to us.

Skills. You must be able to perform expertly at least TWO (2) of
the skills listed below:
* complex logic design, including high-speed signal integrity,
simulation, skilled at Verilog and VHDL development, including
multi-programmer approaches to project development, knowledge of Xilinx
and Altera tools
* complex (up to 14 layer) board design including advanced
component identification and specification, schematic capture, guidance
and specification of layout process, and communication with PCB fab
* microprocessor and DSP programming, BOTH, including advanced
algorithms, IDEs such as CCS and CodeWarrior, assembly language
programming, peripheral drivers, and peripheral and other hardware-level
debug
* low-level drivers under WinXP, Linux, or Win9x for boards that
you design or debug
* interface library (e.g. DLL or shared object) software
development

We are willing to teach you skills listed above other
than the two or more that you already know.

Salary level. If you seek year-2000 or prior salary levels, then
you will be disappointed with our offer. Regardless of how many years of
experience you have, if you cannot perform ALL of the items listed
above, then our offer to you will be in the 45 to 65k range, and no
higher.

At each of the skill items listed above I am expert, and
currently I have NO salary. Plus I work 14 hrs per day, and another 16
hrs on the weekend. Other engineers here also work hard, and they too
are experts. Imagine other companies with engineers trying to compete
with that, and then multiply that to about 15 or so companies in our
market area around the world. That should show you clearly, with no room
for doubt, that for surviving companies who are managing to grow and
introduce new products and technology under the current difficult
economic conditions, competition is stiff!!! You had better be good if
you want a high salary, and you had better be able to prove it to me and
other Signalogic staff engineers. Otherwise, don't even think about
applying at Signalogic, and certainly do not complain about a low
initial offer. If you prove that you are worth a larger salary, then you
will be paid a higher salary. That's how it works now, that's how it's
going to stay, that's it. This is the 21st century, year-2000 thinking
is dead (it was bogus in the first place). I hope we are clear on that
subject!

Debug. You must be extremely good at debug. Any engineer can
design, only a few are talented enough and sharp enough to debug in a
reasonable amount of

Re:Interesting requirements...

[nigel_q]

What part of Canada do you live in? Saying that most Canadians are bilingual is like saying all Americans speak Spanish. Bilingualism isn't actually that common outside of Quebec or the Ottawa/Hull region; only a small fraction of Canada. And of course, the further west you go, the less likely bilingualism becomes, and the move likely forced french study become resented. Take Vancouver, for example. What good is force teaching the kids there French, with Quebec thousands of KM away? They'd be better off learning Chinese. And even in Ontario, you only HAVE to take French in school until Grade 9. After that, you can forget it all, as if it was some horrible horrible nightmare, like Calculus. If you want to succeed in the Federal Government/Civil Service though, you'd best learn to parlez-vous. (They'll usually pay to have you taught...)

Re:Interesting requirements...

[cmallinson]

But in Canada, being bilingual is normal. French and English speakers are common. And $17-$19 CAD is far above minimum wage.

Although French-English bilingualism is common in the eastern provinces, it is rare in the west. Less than 7% in BC [ocol-clo.gc.ca] and Alberta [ocol-clo.gc.ca]. I would say this percentage is even smaller within the techie demographic.

I resemble that remark!

[GFW]

Although French-English bilingualism is common in the eastern provinces, it is rare in the west. Less than 7% in BC [ocol-clo.gc.ca] and Alberta [ocol-clo.gc.ca]. I would say this percentage is even smaller within the techie demographic.

I'm from Vancouver. I was inclined towards the sciences. I stopped taking French as soon as I could (it was hurting my GPA :-) ) The other poster who said Chinese would be much more useful in Vancouver is correct. My high school was more than 50% Chinese (most of whom had perfect English anyway)

Re:Interesting requirements...

[Dexx]

I work in downtown Edmonton doing tech support. I make less than that and consider myself doing well.

Oddest requirements

[Mandelbrute]

Must be able to use word processor X.

This sort of requirement has settled down to MS Word now, but not long ago technical staff that could work out how to use any word processing package in detail with less than five minutes with a manual (or ten without) were not considered unless they listed a particular word processing package on their resume. I had about twelve listed on mine for such situations, from Chiwriter up. All this is irrelevant, however, when you submit the resume as a PDF file and the employement agent doesn't know how to read it.

Re:Bad Job Description

[Clover_Kicker]

Eh, I'm not so sure.

I've seen Kelly's people doing the exact same job for 3 or 4 years.

Kelly's are fun people to work for, when they fire you they don't have the balls to talk to you at the office, they call you at home and tell you not to come in. They mail you your stuff.

Re:Real posting...

[Anonymous Coward]

This depends on what you consider good. There's two sections, and you get a score between 200 and 800 on each. It's designed to have a median score of 500 and a standard deviation of 100. That means something like half of all the people that take the test get below a 1000. Sure, that may not be saying much in a US school full of "illiterate crackheads," but if your score has 4 digits in it, you did better than most. And that's today. Back in the day, before the recentering, the medians were around 420 verbal and just under 500 math.

So, if you're comparing yourself to the incoming class at MIT, 1220 isn't so good. If you're comparing to the population in general, a lot more people get below 1220 than above it (81% in fact).

Here's a PDF [collegeboard.com] of percentiles corresponding to various scores. In case you hate PDF files:

Score____Percentile
1400_____96
1300_____89
1 220_____81
1000_____44
900______27

If you see crap on our site, please either email

[cnewmark]

[e-mail], or if it's really bad, send it to [e-mail].

Thanks!

Craig

They don't want to hire you!

[Anonymous Coward]

These postings requiring super-human qualifications and offering insulting salaries are used to establish that the "position cannot be filled" by a resident. This is a step in justifying bringing an H1B application. The requirements are carefully matched to exactly the qualifications of the H1B applicant, who the company posting the ad has already decided to hire. But first, they must post the position and ensure nobody else gets hired. These postings are carefully designed to exclude qualified applicants, by using the inflated job requirements and slave wage salaries. Don't bother applying, they will find a reason to reject you.

Re:Interesting requirements...

[Malicious]

Dude, I live in Edmonton, and I make $18/hour doing ADSL tech support...

Hey, I'm hiring a lot

[EmagGeek]

I have Tons of Positions(TM) [ie-ap.org] open right now... we develop software to perform Radar Cross Section Analysis.


Now, for those of you who clicked before reading on, the only drawback is that I have no money, so there is no pay :) It's all just for fun, but still something you can do to keep your skills up and have something to put on your resume if you're between jobs. There are about half a dozen of us right now.. it isn't such a bad gig :)

Re:Focus on the Family

[phallstrom]

Haven't seen the job you're talking about they have a Sr. Internet Engineer at $44K/year at the moment... I'd say that's pretty reasonable...

-philip

There's a site for jobs like this...

[Brewdles]

Fuck that job [fuckthatjob.com]

Good points, but...

[sjb2016]

I like the idea of some basic coverage for everybody. Makes good sense. However, I think too many people look towards the federal government for the answers. In a nation of nearly 300 million, a national plan, in my opinion, is not feasible. Canada has 30 million people, biggest Western European pop would be 60 millionish. Japan is 120 million and has some socialists aspects to it's health system, but no American is going to settle for the cost of living they have in Japan (even if we had all the pretty Japanese birds) It's best left to the states and states like NY have excellent programs especially for kids and seniors.

Re:Interesting requirements...

[Feztaa]

Sorry to reply to myself, but let's just work it out:

$10/hour, 40 hours a week, 4 weeks in a month = $1,600 per month.

$19/hour, 40 hours a week, 4 weeks a month = $3,040 per month.

In Edmonton, the cheapest apartments are about $400/mo, but we'll be a bit generous and assume that you don't want to live in a slum. So, $700/mo for your apartment, plus $50/mo for cable internet, plus $25/mo phone, plus heat/water/power will probably run you up $100/mo (I'm not sure on this one, my roommate pays those bills :)

So, for the $19/hour job, if you factor in those expenses, plus taxes, you're still left with around $2,000/mo for things like food, entertainment, etc. That's a lot of money (to me, anyway).

Re:That's like...

[fidelius]

You've got a point about the military... but name a country that would seriously like to attack Canada.

Drugs are indeed made in the US, so perhaps US consumers should be asking why they pay the highest prices in the entire world for them.

Re:bladernr, How can I become you?

[bladernr]

How can I become you?

What do I have to learn? How can I best learn it?

Know more than just a programming language. I will give you a for instance: if you are in telecom, buy and read IEC's "The Basics of Telecommunications."

Read a good book on corporate finance. When the boss is having budget problems, help him work them out. Few managers really understand finance and the difference between Capitalizated Expenses and true expenses, and how to capitalize assets. Get the boss to start asking you questions on how to do his job.

Learn other people's jobs on your team. You want to be the "go-to" guy on stuff. It results in more hours, but more visibility. You want to be the guy sitting in requirements-gathering meetings with business owners. The more people who know (and respect) you, the better.

Don't be the guy in the trenches, be the one that people trust.

Above all, liberaly use the phase "I don't know." You want to use it so much, that when you say you do know something, there is not a doubt in anyone's mind that you are telling the truth. That builds trust. Trust builds respect. Respect=promotions.

Also, more personally (because my wife is in this situation), if you are in a company where you won't advance because it is too "good-ole-boy-system" or whatever, move on. Most companies these days really are a meritocracy, but I suspect that a third of them still are "the club" type places. You don't want to be in those systems. Work somewhere were your hard-work, knowledge and desire are rewarded (which is most, but not nearly all, companies).

Of course, I don't have all the answers. This is how I built my career, and I think it works. We all have to find our groove and work in it. But things like integrity and work-ethic transcend all industry and most political concerns.