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Christmas Cheer Toys

Weird Presents Anyone? 1406

Posted by michael from the share-the-loot dept.
g8way writes "Now that Christmas is about, it's time for presents. A joyous occasion with much drinking, fruitcake, and butt-ugly sweaters. What's the weirdest gift you've gotten so far? Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package. What's your story of Christmas present mayhem?"
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Weird Presents Anyone? More

Weird Presents Anyone?

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  • I got (Score:5, Funny)

    by Sarojin ( 446404 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:46PM (#7809229)
    a dildo for Christmas. From my elderly neighbor! I'm a male!

  • FP (Score:5, Funny)

    by Sklivvz ( 167003 ) * <`marco.cecconi' `at' `gmail.com'> on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:46PM (#7809231) Homepage Journal
    Personally, i got a first post! :-P

  • Blow-up doll (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:46PM (#7809233)
    My friends got me a blow-up doll, complete with inflatable breasts and two holes.

    I've never felt so pathetic in my life.

  • I got a weird one (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:47PM (#7809241)
    The weirdest gift was when I was 15, I got a $50 savings bond and a guaranteed plot at a funeral home

  • /. subscriptions? (Score:5, Interesting)

    by LostCluster ( 625375 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:48PM (#7809247)
    Did anybody get a /. subscription as a gift? Anybody?

  • My iPod (Score:5, Funny)

    by egg troll ( 515396 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:48PM (#7809248) Homepage Journal
    I got a 40 gig iPod for Xmas. But the weird part is that when I looked at the diagnostics menu, it said it was only 37.1 gigs! Apple played Grinch and stole 3 gigs of music from me. :(

  • My brothers present (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:48PM (#7809251)
    My brother got a bottleopener that can record samples and replay them. That's pretty odd. Any suggestions of messages?

    (On a side note: I got Band of brothers on DVD amongst other things - way cool :D)

  • Weirdest... (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Chicane-UK ( 455253 ) <chicane-ukNO@SPAMntlworld.com> on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:48PM (#7809252) Homepage
    For me, the weirdest presents this year came in the form of clothes from my grandma that I wouldn't actually be embarassed to wear!!

    A really smart shirt from Next (clothes store in the UK, not the old UNIX company!), and a silk tie from tie rack - both of which were really smart, and totally suitable to wear to work.

    I was stunned! :)

  • Bernhard Langer (Score:5, Interesting)

    by alister667 ( 254980 ) <alister667@nOSpAM.hotmail.com> on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:48PM (#7809254) Homepage
    I was given (by a christian relative) an autobiography of christian golfer Bernhard Langer. A pretty poor attempt to turn me onto 'the right path'! Next year I'm going to buy them something by Richard Dawkins.

  • Screw weird, this is the *COOL* present thread! (Score:5, Funny)

    by t0qer ( 230538 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:49PM (#7809256) Homepage Journal
    Along with the usual sweaters, socks and underwear I get every year, this year I got something special..

    My mother in law excitedly handed me my gift this year with a big grin on her face. I opened the box and what was there?

    A seagate Barricuda 7200rpm 120gig hard drive!

    "Now you can download more movies and burn them to dvd (vcd)" she says.

    Large capacity hard drives, the gift that keeps on giving all year long :D

  • Hint... (Score:3, Funny)

    by PSUdaemon ( 204822 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:50PM (#7809263)
    Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.

    Think they are trying to tell you something?

  • Anything from "The Shack" is bad (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:53PM (#7809284)
    I got a combination wallet/calculator from Radio Shack. Who buys a wallet from RS? Old folks are so crazy. This is the same aunt who last year bought me a combination mouse pad/calculator. Next year I bet I get a calculator watch.

    Oh well, maybe I'll get her back by giving some Metallica CDs.

  • You really "cleaned-up" for Christmas! (Score:5, Funny)

    by orthogonal ( 588627 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:53PM (#7809290) Journal
    Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.

    Toothpaste, breath-freshening mints, deoderant, and cheap out-of-the house food.

    No pattern there.

    Hmm. Unless.... Is your family trying to tell you you're spending too much time playing Everquest, and too little time playing "shower"?

  • Ha. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Magus311X ( 5823 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:54PM (#7809293)
    My Xmas:

    6 pairs of black socks
    1 can of mixed nuts (i hate most nuts)
    A bottle of leather conditioner (presumably for my car)
    A pair of cheap $20 headphones (left side doesn't work)
    15 losing $1-2 lottery tickets
    $10 in gift certificates to Krispy Kreme (love them, but the closest one is an HOUR away. All Dunkin' Donuts around here.)
    Speaker stands for the surround sound system I don't have.

    -----

    I gave...

    My sister a nice Capresso CoffeeTEC coffee maker because her current coffee maker broke, and this does lattes and hot cocoa to boot, which she loves. Also got her an assortment of coffee from Gevalia.

    My parents to share, got them 5 classic movie DVDs (Ben-Hur, Citizen Kane, On the Waterfront, Bridge on the River Kwai, Casablanca). My mom a backyard birdwatching and project book, a pair of nice binoculars. My father I got a 10GB iPod (bring his MP3s in his car without him constantly burning CDs), and a new copy of MS Trips and Streets (to replace his 1994 Rand McNally software which he still uses regularly).

    -----

    I know its not what you get, but the thought that counts, but I think I put in a lot more thought than they did.

    ----- ----- ----- -----

    • It's because... (Score:5, Insightful)

      by weston ( 16146 ) <westonsd@@@canncentral...org> on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:38PM (#7809513) Homepage
      I have a theory about this. Geeks in general are interested in things that look impenetrable to others. You want an external hard drive for christmas, or music production software? Besides the fact that those things are somewhat expensive, the details the non-geek would have to become familiar with the get the gift right (heck, to figure out where to purchase such things) are a daunting barrier. So they drop back and punt on the gifts they do understand, or things they see you as needing (for example, maybe they see you wear white socks all the time)....

      My own family works pretty much this way, especially my parents, who'd rather buy another set of underwear for me than subject themselves to the fear and confusion they associate with shopping online. But on the other hand, every once in a while they get things exactly right -- like, buying me the LOTR trilogy two years ago... I wouldn't have even asked for it because I hadn't read it since high school and wasn't too into it then, but once I picked it up again I was hooked. And then there's my siblings, who actually have a great sense of style and when they buy me clothes it's great. So this isn't a "poor me" rant. :) It's just an observation. I'll probably never get great geek gifts, and I don't think most geeks will.

  • If you think getting clothes is bad... (Score:5, Funny)

    by vnolton ( 735440 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:54PM (#7809296)
    Not only did I get nothing but CLOTHES for christmas.. My parents bought me a hamper to put them in. *rolls eyes*

  • It wasn't a present (Score:4, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:55PM (#7809302)
    Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.

    It was a message. Your breath stinks, you have BO, and you're too skinny.

  • Flasher Gear (Score:5, Funny)

    by AsnFkr ( 545033 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @04:55PM (#7809303) Homepage Journal
    I got a full length coat from my mom. Now I can go out in public without wearing anything underneath it. I can;t wait till New Years!! Mwahaahaha!!!!

    • Re:Flasher Gear (Score:5, Funny)

      by Dun Malg ( 230075 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:17PM (#7809432) Homepage
      I got a full length coat from my mom. Now I can go out in public without wearing anything underneath it.

      Be sure to cut off a pair of trouser legs at about knee height and tie the cut off pieces in place with string on your lower legs just above the calves. That way it looks like you're wearing pants as long as the coat is closed.

  • Shurikens (Score:5, Funny)

    by gorsh ( 75930 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:02PM (#7809340)
    My girlfriend got me razor-sharp shurikens that I can use to assassinate my enemies in the dark of night!

  • Santa's dictionary is F'd (Score:5, Funny)

    by Tablizer ( 95088 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:03PM (#7809344) Journal
    I wrote Santa and asked for a pussy. So I unwrap the box and see only a goddam alley cat.....male even.

  • A gig of RAM (Score:5, Funny)

    by Juanvaldes ( 544895 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:03PM (#7809350)
    I love my family. :D

  • Weirdest gift I ever received... (Score:5, Funny)

    by ILL Robinson ( 228744 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:09PM (#7809373)
    ...was wrapped gift wrap.

    Worse part was, I didn't know when the hell to stop unwrapping.

    • Re:Weirdest gift I ever received... (Score:5, Funny)

      by Gubbe ( 705219 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @06:00PM (#7809604)
      ...wrapped gift wrap.
      Yes, I had a similar experience once. I got this huge-ass box, cut the strings around it with a knife, opened the box and found another box. I opened the box and found yet another box. By the time I had opened over ten boxes and realized there's no way the last tiny box could contain anything else than possibly an even smaller box, I decided that I'm not going to let my family ridicule me any further. On a moments whim I grabbed the knife and frustratedly stabbed the small box twice.

      The high-capacity so-dimm inside didn't appreciate it.

  • Shocking Roulette (Score:5, Funny)

    by Helmut Kool ( 624923 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:11PM (#7809390)
    Me and my s.o. got a Shocking Roulette game from a friend who is studying in Scotland (it's supposed to be popular around there?). It's for 2-4 players. Each puts a finger inside this machine, the lights start blinking, and as they stop the lucky winner is rewarded with an electric shock. "The more you sweat the worse it gets!"

  • A Gift from Nigeria (Score:5, Funny)

    by AtariAmarok ( 451306 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:12PM (#7809398)
    I received a wonderful gift in my e-mail box from the King of Nigeria this morning. He said that if I gave him my life savings, he would give me $400,000,000. What a kind fellow, fully of holiday cheer, to make such a generous offer!

  • My wife gave me cock burns (Score:5, Funny)

    by WombatDeath ( 681651 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:15PM (#7809413)
    Well, in a manner of speaking... [drinkon.com]

  • We got out of debt (Score:5, Insightful)

    by anthonyclark ( 17109 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:18PM (#7809434)
    Not to sound smug here but my Wife and I got out of debt.

    Minimal presents to other people, no big dinner or tree and no huge tech presents for either of us. Instead we sneaked past the finish line in our "Debt Free in 2003" goal.

    This Christmas is bare by many western standards, but now we can start saving for a deposit for a house. (Yeah, more debt there but what can one do about that?).

    • But is it really debt? (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Inoshiro ( 71693 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:59PM (#7809599) Homepage
      If the worth of the house is more than the cost of the mortage, it's not really a debt. You could easily turn around and sell the house, pay off the mortgage, and have some money to boot.

      Rent is debt, it's a continuing eternal debt. Owning a house is owning something that's worth something, even if you have to pay a very large amount of money for it.

    • Congratulations! (Score:5, Informative)

      by daviddennis ( 10926 ) <david@amazing.com> on Thursday December 25, 2003 @07:51PM (#7809999) Homepage
      The nice people who are suggesting that you build your own house are probably not considering life in a major urban area as desirable.

      I would count it as extraordinarily difficult to save enough money for a downpayment for a house in, say, Southern California (where I live) and similar areas. For the entry level house I just bought in Woodland Hills, the price was $428,000. Woodland Hills is an upscale suburb but doesn't have the cachet of, say, Beverly Hills or Malibu, where entry-level homes start at around twice that. If you consider that typical entry-level homes in the downscale suburb of Canoga Park start at close to $350,000, I think I got a real deal.

      I'm presently renting a house for $1,400 a month, which is way under market. My landlord sold it out from under me, and I checked rental options and found them all horribly expensive. So I talked to a very nice realtor, and he, together with a great mortgage broker, showed me that a good house wasn't beyond my means, despite my lack of savings other than company 401(k).

      In the end, I had to withdraw money from the 401(k) just to rarise the 3% deposit needed to prove that you're serious about the house, and to pay closing costs. My lender gave me 100% financing in a first and second mortgage, with a total payment of around $2,750 a month. Property taxes add another $500-odd a month. However, virtually all of this is tax-deductible, on both federal and state returns. The bottom line is that I get about $1,000 of that from the taxman, so my net cost is $2,250 a month.

      I used some extra money from the 401(k) withdrawl to pay back all my debt. With my debt paid down to zero thanks to the 401(k) withdrawl, my net cost of housing + debt - tax deductions is actually going to be a bit lower than were I was before.

      A nice bit of fiscal alchemy.

      If - and only if - you believe your real estate market will continue to do well, 100% financing may make sense, even though it doesn't sound like a good idea when you first look at it. The tax deductions really help hugely, taking really scary numbers and bringing them down to reality.

      Here in Southern California, there are huge population pressures, and the economy is diversified enough to continue to do well. So on balance, I think home ownership here is a reasonable gamble. The fact that my home, being a tiny but beautifully made place on a hillside, is in a unique area with extremely low housing turnover also helps.

      I have lots of plans for my new home, and I think it's going to be a great experience. And to be honest, I don't think I could have ever saved the amount of money needed without 100% financing.

      If you want to own a home, I think it's well worth considering.

      D

  • Air Horn off of a Big Truck (Score:5, Funny)

    by freeio ( 527954 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:27PM (#7809475) Homepage
    A good friend of mine came by and presented me with a wrapped item, about 1 meter long with bulges on each end. I tried to guess the contents, but to no avail. It turned out to be a beat-up air horn off of a large truck - which he had found in a junk yard. It didn't take long to find the fittings in the junk box to wake up the neighbothood with it.

    Loud? Oh my! The 100 PSI shop air will make it sing. Now, where can I install it?

    • Re:Air Horn off of a Big Truck (Score:4, Funny)

      by Chuqmystr ( 126045 ) on Friday December 26, 2003 @12:49AM (#7810975) Homepage
      Here's one for ya. Back in my autosound installer days I had a good repeat customer who was a long-haul truck driver, used to drive for car shows, CES, big corps, stuff like that. Needless to say his truck was all top notch. N'way, he one day brings in an airhorn from a diesel-electric locomotive. It was HUGE, something like 10'-12' in length if memory serves me right. He wanted to know what we could do with that. Well, much bracket fabricating, some pluming, a solenoid and a few Boch relays and a homebrew triple 5 timming cicuit later I had that dude mounted under the cab and running off of the factory horn button for manual and in conjuction with the timmer circuit off of his alarm. Good thing my sister was the cop on duty in that area that day when I had to explain what was upsetting the neighboring shopkeepers ;-) I believe it took just shy of three minutes to deplete the aux air tank with the enjine shut off.

  • Best Gift Ever! (Score:4, Funny)

    by aspjunkie ( 265714 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:29PM (#7809482) Homepage
    I got Mod Points for Christmas! Thanks Santa!

  • Home Depot Gift Card (Score:5, Funny)

    by Polyphemis ( 450226 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:32PM (#7809490)
    I recently moved out on my own into an apartment in Portland with my fiancee, and this Christmas from my brother I got a $25 gift certificate from Home Depot... now, at first glance that might make sense, but if he'd checked he'd have realized that:

    1) The nearest Home Depot is 50 miles away and I don't have a car.

    2) You can't use them online.

    3) There's hardly anything there you can buy for $25 that isn't sold by the pound anyway.

    I'm selling it back to my dad for cash and thanking my brother politely for the thoughtful gift.

  • Microsoft Games Goddamnit!! (Score:4, Funny)

    by utahjazz ( 177190 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:34PM (#7809497)
    Why does my mother keep giving me Microsoft Games no matter how many times I tell her I don't use Windows!!! She just doesn't get it, "My son's a computer guy so I get him computer games".

    -"Mom, I don't use Windows".
    +"So how do you use Word?"
    -"I don't".
    +"Oh, Hmm, how do you use MSN?"
    -"I Don't!!!!"
    +"But I know you get email".
    -"Yes"
    +"Well that's certainly strange".
    -"No, it isn't. MSN is not the Internet"
    +"Oh, well here's you're Chrismas present, a copy of Freelancer". (Which is some MS game I never heard of)

    Nevermind the fact that I'm 34 and don't even play computer games.

    Anyone want an unopened copy of Freelancer?

    • Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!! (Score:5, Insightful)

      by |>>? ( 157144 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @06:05PM (#7809628) Homepage
      Why does my mother keep giving me Microsoft Games no matter how many times I tell her I don't use Windows!!! She just doesn't get it, "My son's a computer guy so I get him computer games".

      Instead of seeing this as a negative experience, your mother knows that you are into computers and she is attempting to communicate with you that she relates to you - by acknowledging this. She likely knows nothing about computers, but she wants to try to connect to her son.

      In return you should not be bitter, but give your mom a big hug, that's all she's really asking for...

      • Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!! (Score:5, Funny)

        by Dark Lord Seth ( 584963 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @07:13PM (#7809876) Journal

        Yo Freud, merry christmas!

      • Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!! (Score:5, Insightful)

        by weave ( 48069 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @07:51PM (#7809996) Journal
        Hell yeah. My mother died when I was young. I remember once she bought us a badminton set for the family to play together. I thought it was gay. We never did use it and I never knew what happened to it. Sometime after she died, I found it stashed away in the corner in the attic and imagined her being sad putting it up there because none of her kids could find the time to spend a lazy Saturday afternoon playing badminton together in the back yard.

        Needless to say, I'd do anything to get a chance to play badminton with her now. For all of you with mothers, even if they drive you nuts, I envy you greatly. Now go do something that will make her happy and show her you still love her.

        • Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!! (Score:5, Interesting)

          by realdddave ( 733684 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @11:06PM (#7810597)
          Your post made me get up from the computer and go talk to the TV with my mom, dad, and sister - that's a powerful post, and an eerily appropriate one for Christmas.

          I just wanted to say thanks. As a college student especially, it's easy to overlook things that really matter - I'm sure I'm not the only person you had an impact on.

          My religion says that everything happens for a reason - if you believe anything like that, I hope maybe you just saw a way that your mother's unfortunate death was able to help this lowly /.'er.

          Thanks again, sincerly.

        • Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!! (Score:5, Insightful)

          by aardwolf204 ( 630780 ) on Friday December 26, 2003 @04:39AM (#7811650)
          I know how you feel. This has been the third Christmas I've had without my mom, and my second without my dad, and I'm only 20 years old.

          For all you geeks out there taking your parents for granted, quit it. Its one thing to have processes without parents on your *nix box but completely different without real parents.

          My mother left me with one thing in this life, the knowledge of ballroom dancing (she's a pro dance instructor, and no matter how queer it may sound, dude it gets chicks, no lie. The ability to put on some old music she used to play around the house and dance around the apartment is a depressing blessing all in one. I feel weave's pain, I've been there. I would do anything for one last dance with my mom but instead I'm left with an empty apartment i can just afford, a cat, and a girlfriend I can teach all the dance steps I want.

          some days i feel like there isnt a light at the end of the tunnel, some days i try to emmerse myself with techie shit to keep from reality, but this christmas I've been able to face facts and though the family I once had is gone I'm happy knowing that shes in those steps.

          ps; my dad kicked ass too.

          • Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!! (Score:5, Insightful)

            by weave ( 48069 ) on Friday December 26, 2003 @06:02AM (#7811767) Journal
            Wow, that sucks aardwolf204. Christmas is never really quite the same after losing a parent, let alone two.

            I was 20 when my mother died. I'm now 44. There's the old cliche about she's never really gone if you keep her alive in your memories. While on some level that's a bunch of bullshit, on others it's not. Our minds are like DRAM. Each memory needs to be refreshed regularly or it fades and is eventually lost or at least unreachable. It sucks that I dream about her less now too.

            Anyway, I'm really touched by the replies here. It's inevitable that if you care about people in your life, you're going to face these kinds of losses. It's part of life unfortunately.

            But, like the great philosopher Butters said in Southpark episode 714, "I love life. Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time I'm happy that something can make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, it makes me feel human. The only way I can feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So it's a beautiful sadness."

            Damn that was a great episode! Merry Christmas all. You know, I learned something very important today. Even among the trolls on slashdot, there's goodness in each and every one and you all touched my heart today. Best wishes to all this holiday season. Thanks!

  • My Special Gift (Score:5, Funny)

    by Mr Bone Stripper ( 622974 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:34PM (#7809499)
    My 6 year old daughter presented me with my long lost black handled phillips head screwdriver. She gave my two sons my mechanical pencils.

  • Weirdest Yet.. (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Wes Janson ( 606363 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:38PM (#7809514) Journal
    My uncle, who worked for the Air Force in some sort of intelligence/communications aspect, gave us an unusually heavy small package last year. Inside was our very own gurkha knife, leather holster, display stand (which I promptly broke), and instructions. According to the care and use instructions, this knife and other fine ones like it could be found in Muhammed's Knife Emporium, blah blah street, Kathmandu. The instructions included such gems as "Be sure not leave fingers on blade from cleaning". This year's present was a carved pen-sized fish with two screws coming out the bottom of the head. We have no idea what it is, where it came from, or what it does. This seems to be a typical feature of my uncle's presents, come to think of it..

  • Whiskey Flavored Condoms. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Zathraskun ( 580270 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:39PM (#7809522)
    Thats what I got, no shens. But seriously what the hell am I going to use Whiskey flavored condoms for?!

  • The one I gave to my Mom las year (Score:5, Funny)

    by agoliveira ( 188870 ) <.ten.noslida. .ta. .noslida.> on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:39PM (#7809525)
    Actualy, wasn't weird: it was a dress but it was the ugliest dress I could find. Of course was a joke but the funny part was to see my mother's face trying to smile (a very yellow smile!) and saying it was beautiful and thank you until I burst in laught.
    When my mother realized it was a joke her first words to me were "Thank Lord was a joke! I was already thinking a way to get rid o it without offend you!" Them I gave her the real present :-D

  • what I did (Score:5, Funny)

    by CAIMLAS ( 41445 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:50PM (#7809565)
    I've got two younger (11 and 12) brother-in-laws. They're into collectable playing cards (such as Magic: The Gathering). One of them is quite the selfish type and quite conscious of other peoples' opinions of him; the other one is a bit more geeky and off in his own world.

    I got them each a Core Set deck. The one more fitting for the geeky b-in-l (Sky Slam/blue) I wrapped simply - just put it in a small box slightly larger than the deck - I also put a $5 bill in. The other one (Burn/red), I put in a large box with heavy objects (several rocks wrapped in paper). I didn't put any names on the packages.

    I then let the older/less geeky b-in-l pick the present that he wanted. Being selfish, he picked the larger one. The result: a lesson hopefully learned - and if not, hopeful progress made on that lesson.

    I love playing mind games with influential youngsters. :P

  • Payments. (Score:5, Funny)

    by BrookHarty ( 9119 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:55PM (#7809582) Journal
    My wife bought herself a car, I got the payments. /me scratches head..

  • An Amish Punching Puppet (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Dolphinzilla ( 199489 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @05:58PM (#7809594) Journal
    An absurd gift, An Amish man (beard, hat etc..)puppet who's spring loaded arms can pack quite a nice hit - A completely bizarre gift from my equally bizarre sister... The company that makes it also makes a Nun punching puppet...

  • The art of gift giving (Score:4, Interesting)

    by mabu ( 178417 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @06:31PM (#7809733)
    Interesting subject. Some people get really excited about the holidays, looking at it as a materialistic boon. Others loathe the idea that a social mandate dictates that they are to give items to everyone they know, and then have to make stressful decisions as to which of their friends fall into that "gift recipient" category and which don't. And then there's always the situation where someone who isn't on your list, gives you something and you feel weird about it.

    I don't know what's worse. Running around trying to find something meaningful for someone as a gift, or opening presents from people you care about and wondering if you ended up with some impulse item that's devoid of any insight into who you are.

    I've always tried to give things to my friends that didn't fall into that impulse or heres-the-latest-gadget-even-though-i'm-not-sure-i t's-something-you-like category. I used to think that I was one of those people who is very hard to buy gifts for, because I tend to get what I want, when I want and don't mull around much advertising things I'd like but don't have. But lately, I've had a few friends completely blow me away with things that I didn't even consider, but turned out to be great gifts. Anything that reflects some time, personal effort or thought is always rewarding. So I no longer buy into the idea that some people are hard to buy gifts for... it's not about money; it's about taking some time to pay attention to what they like.

    This year I found a number of otherwise mundane items that I could make special. For friends that are into cooking, I picked up some cookbooks by a famous chef in the area, and then tracked him down and got him to sign the books to my friends. Making things for people is also a good idea. One year I made up batches of herbed olive oil. Another year I smoked a bunch of hams and turkeys myself and gave them out. For friends that are into history or science, I'd keep my eyes open for interesting, very old artifacts on ebay. Wine also makes a good gift if you know what's good. A little research can yield some inexpensive, yet exceptional wines that are otherwise hard to find.

    One of the weirdest gifts I ever got was from an ex-girlfriend (who at the time wasn't an ex). A gardenia bush. That in itself might not seem that weird, except I found a book she accidently left at my place on Voodoo spells, with a "love spell" page dog-eared that required placing Gardenia bushes around the target's house as a component!

  • I'll tell you what I got today (Score:5, Funny)

    by John Jorsett ( 171560 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @07:14PM (#7809878)
    I got a mass email from corporate headquarters reminding me not to clog up the email system with Christmas wishes to other people, complete with links to the corporate email policy. Merry frickin' Christmas to you too, you bastards.

    But at least it wasn't a hot cocoa sampler.

  • When worlds collide... (Score:5, Funny)

    by telstar ( 236404 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @07:32PM (#7809943)
    I got a puppy from my parents and a cat from my uncle... The description of any of my other gifts now includes the adjectives "urine-scented", "chewed", or "clawed to hell" ... primarily as a result of gift #1 trying to swallow gift #2.

  • coal (Score:5, Interesting)

    by antares73 ( 735549 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @09:50PM (#7810394)
    A co-worker of mine gave the best gift that I had heard of to date. His girlfriend is a Titanic buff and he found out that RMS Titanic, Inc., which holds the salvage rights funds some of its activities by selling the only item that they are authorized to...coal.

    So guess what she got in her stocking.

  • Wind Up Sushi and Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Lachrymite ( 115440 ) on Thursday December 25, 2003 @10:35PM (#7810523)
    My best friend gave me these two extremely odd presents. The wind up sushi is a set of little plastic pieces of sushi which wind up and zoom across the floor. The set includes shrimp, three pieces of tuna, and salmon eggs.

    Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist is a DVD, the front of which has pictures of crucified naked women and says, "First he nails you... then he NAILS you!" The back summarizes the movie as, "A schizophrenic thinks he is Jesus, and he wants payback! He crucifies and rapes the wives of his enemies. He films his deeds because he wants to make a new gospel - the Gospel of Blood!!!"

    Should be... interesting.

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