Downsides to Intrafamily IM?

Frisky070802 writes "The NY Times has run a column on how many families now use instant messaging within a household, for instance to ask what someone wants for dinner. This is especially popular as whole houses get wired (or wireless) and computers are scattered throughout the house. This is the case at my house but I tend to be the only one who stays on AIM reliably. Can Slashdotters offer some personal experience, pro/con, with being instantly and constantly accessible to one's spouse and children? Does this tend to break down your 'personal time'?"

Non-Indentured Servitude link

[mrpuffypants]

click here for google link [nytimes.com]

Why can't people just do this by default? It took me 2 seconds to find...

Re:Ahhh older technology....

[gpoul]

Though it was only a multiple-access medium. There was no carrier sense and no collision detection. Actually the message recipient had to request a retransmission. How ancient.

Really not what we're used to today.

Bow before me cause I'm CSMA/CD!

Reverse

[red floyd]

I use it when I need to get through to my daughter from work. Typical teenager, she has a phone glued to one ear and her KB stuck on AIM. So I IM her and tell her to hang up, I (or her Mom) needs to talk to her.

Judgemental Posts

[TimTheFoolMan]

So far, I've seen over a dozen posts suggesting that me chatting with my teenage sons are: an example of the breakdown of the modern family, an indication that we're a bunch of lazy geeks, or a sign that we need to go out and socialize. It's interesting to see these judgements, as they all assume that you know me or my family.

Yes, my oldest son and I IM each other when we're in the same house. We have even IM'd each other when in the same room. Typically, we both had parallel conversations going on with other people online, and also were talking "face to face" along with the IMs. Oddly enough, many of the posters in this thread don't seem to realize that some things are simply more funny when written than when spoken, and if both parties are reasonably good typists, the conversations can flow quite freely.

Also, there are some conversations that are awkward or uncomfortable to have in person. One of the reasons that lonely people use IM to establish new relationships is because of the comfort and anonymity of the medium. This can also be beneficial to people who know each other well, if there's an awkward subject that you want to discuss.

Recently, my son and I were discussing an article on the NY Times (I'm one of those weirdos who doesn't mind that they know I read their articles) about teenage sexuality, and the incidence of intercourse falling in the past couple of years. Now, this would be a bit of an odd conversation to have with your dad at any point, but especially when you're a teenage boy, currently in a dating relationship. Because of the medium, I was able to cast my question in a non-threatening way, and he was able to compose his response without me watching his expression, or second-guessing his body language.

Last but not least, I correct his grammar and spelling, and encourage him to learn to express himself with the written word. IM seems to be as good a place for immediate feedback and correction as any.

In short, before you assume that families chatting is another sign of impending doom, please be a bit more informed.

Tim

P.S. WRT us being a bunch of lazy geeks, he's 15, playing JV & Varsity basketball and football, and we regularly compare weightlifting routines. He regularly challenges me (typically by throwing a cross-body block in the kitchen), and is looking forward to the day (not far off) when he can "take dad down." Unfortunately for my wife, he weighs 190 lbs, and I weigh 230, so when we wrestle, things usually get broken. I'm no stud, but it's not like we sit around on our butts all day in front of the PC.

Re:Non-Indentured Servitude link

[Merusdraconis]

Even easier - put in (what name you'd like)@mailinator.com. Check the confirm e-mail at mailinator.com, and that's it.

Neat thing - mailinator accepts any e-mails going to it and automatically makes a new account with no password. So you don't even have to sign up beforehand. Very useful.

Face-to-Face: Enhanced

[Z3LD4]

When I'm home from college, the only IMs my mom and I send back and forth are usually "could you come here a minute?" Being part of a geek family, we send links, pictures and such back and forth. It dosen't have to be all about "conversations."