What to Get My Geek for Valentine's Day? 1034
A reader writes "Help!!! I've been dating my geek for three months and I'm in a bit of a dilemma. So I thought I'd ask the men of Slashdot what they would want as a Valentine's Day gift. I'm looking for something out of the ordinary that will knock his socks off. Somthing clever, crafty and unique. The budget is $100. My geek's interests are typical geek fare, games, computers, music and gadgetry. So! You, men of Slashdot, tell me what you would want to recieve for Valentine's day and help me make my geek happy."
The Best Store (Score:5, Insightful)
Lucky bastard... (Score:5, Insightful)
Something non-geeky (Score:5, Insightful)
So, my suggestion is, get him something non-geeky that he'd like or has commented on that shows you realize he is much more than just Geek.
IPod!! (Score:3, Insightful)
Hrm (Score:5, Insightful)
"A Reader" writes... A reader of Slashdot that doesn't know what a geek wants as a gift, Okkaaay.
This whole thing seems like a big shill story to get people to post links to ThinkGeek, which is of course owned by the same company as Slashdot.
What do you *both* want? (Score:5, Insightful)
Couple of things... (Score:2, Insightful)
Second, instead of spending $100 on him, just give him the money. Geeks are usually meticulous about what technology they buy, so don't screw it up and buy him something he'll throw in his closet and never use.
Third, get him laid.
and fourth... um... i dunno... get him laid...
Re:The gift he'll cherish (Score:5, Insightful)
Moderated Insightful!!! (Score:1, Insightful)
What about... (Score:2, Insightful)
That's the best thing I can think of. What do you want?
Love (Score:5, Insightful)
Really consider sex (Score:5, Insightful)
Seriously, healthly people like sex. Good caring sex, more so.
You get him $100 worth of somethng from ThinkGeek and its something anyone could give, really lacks creativity and will be forgotten in a year.
Hot, wild monkey sex with a liberal dose of caring and understanding towards your partner's needs will blow his/her mind away, is going to be unique to each other and will strengthen your relationship.
If, for your personal reasons, you are waiting to get married or whatever, then head over to ThinkGeek.
Re:Hrm (Score:2, Insightful)
Actually... (Score:2, Insightful)
A memory is the best present one can give (Score:5, Insightful)
One Sugestion (Score:5, Insightful)
A sincere smile, an embrace ... (Score:5, Insightful)
These all last much longer, and go much deeper, than any consumable, in my opinion.
Regards,
John
Re:Computer Parts (Score:5, Insightful)
My advice: let him pick the parts himself.
Re:Blow job (Score:3, Insightful)
Something special (Score:5, Insightful)
Well, so far everybody has suggested some kind of sexual favour... but either it's happened already or you have reasons why not. Oh well. Here are ideas you can actually tell him about in front of your parents:
Gift banking (Score:4, Insightful)
Victoria Secrets (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Something non-geeky (Score:5, Insightful)
Asking on Slashdot (Score:5, Insightful)
It's Valentine's day. Save the hardware and gadgetry for his birthday, Christmas, etc. Valentine's day, for one day, you can be sentimental, even to a techie. The geekiest you'd want to go would be, like, "his and hers" memory cards or something. :-) Something you've made yourself, even if it is tech-related, is best.
Of course, you could just let him see this thread. A girlfriend who likes her geek beau enough that she'll ask the nexus of geekdom how to best make a geek happy? Just the knowledge that a girl cares that much and knows him that well is a major gift in itself. Maybe frame the thread or something. :-)
Re:one suggestion (Score:5, Insightful)
Hey, some of us are geeks and proud of it. I have no problem with someone calling me a geek when it isn't done in an insulting manner. Even then I often take it as a compliment.
This is a good thread. My gf has a hard time shopping for me sometimes. I maintain a list of DVDs I want, and she often snags something off that list. A lot of geeks maintain a wish list somewhere. Other times, it is just something I've mentioned I've wanted.
Although, one time I had been mentioning wanting an umbrella for a while, but hadn't gotten my butt to go shopping for one. So she hands me this blue-purple umbrella. For some reason, women seem to think purple works for guys. I had to be careful not to offend her, but I ended up going to the store and returning it for a nicer black one.
I do have some male friends that like purple, but most of them are gay. The general advice about shopping for men, still applies to most geeks.
The difference for geeks is they like cool toys and often care a lot about quality. If you get something that normally comes in a cheap plastic, but they make a nice shiny metal one. Most people might not care, but a lot of geeks will like the nice shiny metal one. I wish I had an example, but I hope I got the idea accross.
How about a nice pair of headphones? (Score:3, Insightful)
might be a good choice.
Or a pair of the lower-end Grados or Sennheisers if the in-ear
thing is too weird.
Best gift: take some of his worries away (Score:5, Insightful)
I'm not saying your geek has any of these problems, but chances are, he's still feeling the stress of his first V-day in a relatively new relationship. The absolute perfect gift for me would be for my girlfriend to show up at my place on February 13th, tell me she had cancelled my reservations, and drive me to dinner. (Regardless of who pays.) It would show that she understands my problems. (And she does--she's been a huge help getting this far, and it was her suggestion that we take Friday off and spend the weekend with my recently divorced mother.)
As for presents though, every guy honestly really just wants the same thing--a great night in bed with no distractions. Pay any roommates to be conviently not there if necessary. If you want to get him something physical though (ah-ha), consider a framed picture of the two of you for his desk at work. Guys like pictures. Honestly. We're just too lazy to get a nice print, frame, etc etc.
This works nicely because guys NEVER ask other guys what they got for Valentine's Day. The only people who ask are women, and women will appreciate you for the thoughtful gesture and will respect him for having such a wonderful girlfriend.
Re:Really consider sex (Score:2, Insightful)
Leatherman + packaging (Score:5, Insightful)
For the 'crafty' 'unique' bit, you may want to consider some special kind of packaging that is challenging to actually open... My little brother always gets the same gift for his birthday (money), but he never got a gift from me that didn't take at least 15 minutes get fully open.
One possible example: present him his gift in a box closed with a couple of padlocks, and make him earn the keys with some fun assignments (up to you to think of those).
WRT all the 'sex' postings: sex is not a 'gift' or something you should 'give'. On valentine, you should most importantly make time for each other and enjoy being together in whatever way you spend the day/evening.
Oh boy.. (Score:2, Insightful)
My advice is: go low-tech, and do NOT buy him parts for his pc. In fact, do not buy him parts for anything. Geeks usually know what they like and you'll probably end up wasting your money on something that might not be usefull, or some brand he hates, or something.
If you must go hi-tech, talk to his best geek friend.
Now, IMO, since valentine's day is about sharing with your guy, think about something you both would enjoy doing.
If you live alone, or have access to a house for that day, you could decorate it, prepare an excelent dinner (check google for aphrodisiac dishes), get lots of cheap stuff from thinkgeek and spread it as presents throught the house.
Alternatives are:
-Get a (non-computer) game you both would enjoy playing.
-Go on a trip somewhere nice.
-Puzzles are great on a slow night (probably not this one, though) if you're both into those.
-A movie that you both would enjoy spending the night watching.
Finally, don't rule out sex. You don't have to go all porn on him, but you could try something he's not expecting. Shaving your pubes, or getting some unexpected langerie are nice surprises one likes at the end of the day.
Oh, and don't forget, valentines day is about you as much as him, so remember to have fun
Does it have to be geeky? (Score:3, Insightful)
Now, I don't know where your BF stands financially, but chances are anything that runs ~100$ he could get for himself, or it's something that would be completely meaningless after about a year. Maybe that's not a bad thing. Dunno.
*My* favorite gift from a GF from all time, was a CD she created for me. Did the cover artwork, typed up the lyrics, and everything- all songs that were something to us.. things like Adam Ant's "Wonderful" (which is pretty generic for any happy relationship) and several songs that were more personal. That gift kicked ass because it was personal, had a human touch, it was very clear that time and effort had been made thinking about me/us.
But then she knew her tunes, and she clearly put some effort into it. If you don't, you would probably make a sucky gift.
Other good ideas would be a really nice night out. Spend some money to go get you both a massage (something to relax you both), then dinner at a nice italian (or whatever floats your boat) restaurant- someplace nicer than you could/would normally go. Maybe a private hot tub afterwords? Just something that is about the two of you- not something that will break in 2 months, or become outdated in a year.
Something personal is always going to mean more. Memories of a special occasion can last a lifetime. A geek toy won't even come close.
Re:Something non-geeky (Score:5, Insightful)
Here's an idea: get him something that is not geek-oriented at all. He will probably treasure it more than something destined to end up in one of his techno-junk piles or handed down to his "lower-tech" buddies.
Something classy (Score:5, Insightful)
So buy him something nice and classy. For $100 you can buy him a nice analog watch or maybe a nice shirt or two.
He may not appreciate it at first, but this way when you drag him along to a social function or he has to work with someone other than a fellow geek he'l have something to wear that actually looks good and he'll be able to fit in. After he gets a few compliments on his watch or clothes he'll want to wear them every time he goes out.
Re:Really consider sex (Score:3, Insightful)
Agreed. Although, having sex on Valentine's day kinda counts as the norm. So, not really a "present", so much as "expected". Sure, most people enjoy sex, and if their first time, well, okay, I guess that would count as "special". But if someone I'd dated for more than a year decided to "give" me sex for some special occasion, I'd feel a tad annoyed - More so than getting nothing.
Go for ThinkGeek. You'll have the best chance of getting something he'd like, but wouldn't insist on picking the model number and production run himself.
If, for your personal reasons, you are waiting to get married or whatever, then
Sexist generalization? Yup. But true.
BSD dress (Score:1, Insightful)
http://www.plus613.com/image/1156
http://people.freebsd.org/~jkh/lw2000/daemonbab
carry a rubber fork on one hand and give him a good scratch in the back
there
I'm kind of a geek, and here's what I'd want.. (Score:5, Insightful)
Secondly, the ideas about sex and whatever are all great. However, these sound like ideas from people currently not getting sex. If you're sleeping with your boyfriend already, then sleeping with him some more on valentine's day is probably something that will happen anyway and isn't a great gift. If you wanted to turn sex into a gift, then I think you'd better be doing something that's more fantasy based or something unusual (a trip to VS or a night at the sybaris (or one of those sex hotels if they don't have the sybaris by you).
As for just spending the day together, while that is beautiful and I really want to spend the day with my wife on valentine's day, it's something that's going to be done anyway, and you'd probably feel pretty silly saying my gift to you is spending time with you. (I can't think of many things that would sound more conceited). Since basically, he could reply the same way.
So with those things in mind, here's a few ideas:
1) Take an interest in something he loves that you normally have no interest in. It depends on what kind of things you normally do together, but if you hate action movies renting one of his favorites, or watching star wars even if you hate it, or playing some multi-player games you don't like are all great ideas.
2) Get tickets to an event. This is even better when combined with item #1. If you hate sports and he loves them, he'll really appreciate tickets to a basketball, baseball, or hockey game. Tickets to a comedy show, or some other show (as long as it's something he'd like, and not something you'd like, but he'd hate) would also be great.
3) Agree not to make valentine's day a big deal. He's probably stressing out about what to get you for valentine's day, because he wants to do something special for you, but it's hard to feel special buying the same stuff everyone else is (you are obviously feeling somewhat of the same challenge). That being the case, agree to not buy each other gifts, but instead mutually plan an evening together. Go out to see a show, get some nice dinner, maybe plan some bedroom sports for afterwards that are a little spicier than normal (if you are doing that kind of thing that is).
Anyway, just some thoughts!
Yes (Score:0, Insightful)
Shit, I don't know why any girl would find someone who self-identifies as a geek attractive anyway. Having a strong interest in computers is fine, but lumping yourself in with such a group of sad losers is just asking for trouble.
If I were a girl I would take 'geek' as being a warning sign to get the fuck out of there and go for a nice guy who doesn't feel the need to latch on to the geek stereotype to feel worthwhile.
Re:Something special (Score:5, Insightful)
Go look at the slashdot hall of fame. It's a long shot, and it depends on the guy, but get him something political. A tiger, or an acre of rain forest, or whatever. Or a donation to the EFF, or Debian, or Gentoo, or Fedora, or Blender or Wikipedia or Mandrake or any of hundreds of worthy projects that he probably takes advantage of on a daily basis.
Geeks have money, and they buy exactly the toys they want when they want. You can't win buying him a gadget.
Re:ThinkGeek Valentine guide (Score:2, Insightful)
Is there some kind of convention where people will attend that he really admires? "Here are two tickets to the xyz show next month. You're gonna meet John Carmack" would blow me away. But time may be short to arrange something like that yet.
Speaking from experience. (Score:2, Insightful)
No no. You don't start that kind of thing until after he's done. Then the girls aren't bored and feeling left out, and maybe even gets him up again.
Threesomes are actually the hardest form of group sex, since there's an odd number of participants. Unless someone's a voyeur, someone's likely to feel left out.
Re:One Sugestion (Score:3, Insightful)
A Happy Day to All (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Geek with a girlfriend? (Score:5, Insightful)
no cost, no sex involved (Score:4, Insightful)
This is why I dislike humanity (Score:2, Insightful)
While I recognize that there's some long-unneded biological reason for it, that doesn't make me feel any less revolted by our species. (I say "species" rather than "my gender" because the majority of men behave similarly in picking a woman.) At this point in civilization, we no longer need to rely on brawn over brains; I just wish more people's minds could manage to grasp that. There are too many lonely "nice" guys out there.
Re:Something non-geeky (Score:5, Insightful)
You can also generally find better keyboards and mice, but you'll want to have him try a bunch and pick his favorite, because different ones feel better for different people.
Re:Something non-geeky (Score:1, Insightful)
A green laser pointer (Score:3, Insightful)
eBay is probably the cheapest place to get one but thinkgeek has them too.
Take him outside and PHYSICALLY point to his zodiac sign and planet and tell him you like him so much that you feel like your connected to the heavens.
You also can have lots of fun at planetariums and "theater" events. Plus, the persiad meteor shower is a lot more fun with a laser and a star map in the fall.
It's so bright - makes a good emergency light too.
Re:Blow job (Score:5, Insightful)
Actually, they cost a lot LESS if you get them in a foreign country.
Together (Score:5, Insightful)
I've noticed many different answers ranging from sex to thinkgeek to romantic dinners, and that is because each "geek" is different. If you go to slashdot and ask a question like this, you'll get diverse answers from the diverse user base. The truth of the matter is that you know him better than anyone, you have all of the customized knowledge of your "geek" who is really just a normal person like everyone else. There is no greater expert than you except maybe for his family members.
But keep in mind Valentines day is not like a Birthday or even Christmas, it isn't about getting or giving gifts. As I stated above it is about love and celebrating it. Really the day is not about him or you, it's about the two of you. Getting him a gadget or something may be okay for Christmas or his Birthday because A) it is HIS Birthday so the day is about him and B) Christmas is about exchanging gifts....but Valentines day is about the two of you.
Some of the standard type ideas to get you in the right frame of mind:
Some ideas are lame, some are good, but all of them involve not just him and not just you, but the two of you.
Well you get the idea, I don't want to give away any specifics lest certain other people read this and are not surprised.....But don't underestimate the gift of your company. It goes without saying that you should try to spend all the time with him on Valentines day that you can. If you could take the day off from work and so could he (or school or whatever) and spend it together, that in itself would be a great gift.
Re:Blow job (Score:5, Insightful)
But some women don't understand and some women do - and the ones that do, those are the ones we stick with.
If you want to make sure you get that BJ for Valentine's Day - buy her velour knee pads.
Re:Really consider sex (Score:5, Insightful)
Really? Maybe some places. My wife and I waited until we were married, and most of our friends did, too. So we went to a private school, whatever. Even at the university where I did my grad work, there were a lot of people waiting for engagement or marriage. I think it tends to get exaggerated that people don't wait for marriage anymore. A lot of people do, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Suppression, as opposed to repression, is not a bad thing... it just means you think something is special or important enough to reserve it, despite the fact that it may mean delaying gratification. Repression gets people into trouble because it's hard to break the guilt and shame association that they've convinced themselves of, and it ends up screwing up their married sex lives.
Also, I have to say that it's pretty shallow to break off a relationship because your partner wants to wait to have sex. It's only one part of a multi-faceted interaction, and you'll do just fine without for a while.
Second that. (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:This is why I dislike humanity (Score:5, Insightful)
I'm somewhat of the opinion that women just take awhile to come to their senses, and the geek men just don't change at all. Women spend all those years going out "to have fun" and dance and "spend time with friends" and the all of a sudden one day that biological starts ticking louder and louder, and suddenly the hilarious well-coordinated pub-crawling metrosexuals just don't seem like the guys they're looking for anymore.
Obviously don't take this post too seriously.
Be creative. (Score:2, Insightful)
Geeks are NOT sad losers (Score:5, Insightful)
Aside from programming (and computers in general), I enjoy other forms of art including photography and sketching. I've been married for 15 years, and I'm a father. I enjoy riding my Triumph Trophy 1200 motorcycle, and training my dog to do agility. But even when I'm doing all of those things, my mind is still racing with hundreds of ideas for the project d'jeur.
I don't know what your definition of `geek` is, but most of the people I know, who call themselves one, use my definition. Not the one in Websters, and they don't feel like it's a limitation either.
One more important point, I would like to direct your attention to, is that you are enjoying the benefits of the geeks. Many of us designed the computers, along with many other things, and wrote the code to contol them. Obviously you don't scoff at the use of these items, and we've made our money doing it.
So again I ask, who are you to determine that being a geek qualifies us as losers. I see you as the loozer, since you don't have the sack or brains to do it yourself.
Re:Really consider sex (Score:5, Insightful)
Now I really wish I had been a little more free in my earlier years. Nobody likes to get cheated on, but I think it's worse when you're an innocent fool like I was. Now I'm a balding middle aged guy with few prospects and the only love I've ever had demoted me to fourth place (at best).
Anyways -- everyone's different. But don't be surprised if it happens to you. 70% of all marriages include infidelity, I've learned. And that's just the ones who admit it on a survey.
I used to think that sex was a meaningful act of love. That's still the only way I've experienced it. But I think that it's healthier and more realistic if you think of it as a game.
Cheers.
Recipe for a perfect Valentine's Day (Score:5, Insightful)
It's pretty simple... V-Day is on a Saturday, which means no work (hopefully), so it's perfect.
Arrange ahead of time to take the first half of the day for V-Day, and let him have the second half. Take him to the nearest arcade, with $40-50 worth of quarters, or go-kart racing, follow it up with lunch at something cheap but not fast food (maybe Bennigan's or Chili's), then to a movie he wants to see (maybe The Butterfly Effect, or Cold Mountain, but you know better), and have popcorn and icees/slushies or that 128oz. monster size soda.
Next, let him take over, hopefully he'll have something planned for you (remember you arranged ahead of time, so that's a good reminder for him).
When you get back, he'll have had an incredible day, hopefully you'll have had an incredible night, finish it off by taking him home (your place or his), for some intimate time. Do something with him that you've never done before, whether that be letting him get to second base, or your first time having sex in the shower (or the kitchen table, washing machine, etc. ;) )
As for me? My gf and I are currently seperated by that little pond we call the Atlantic Ocean, so I'm having flowers delivered to her, as well as a DVD player (she doesn't have one yet), and the complete Family Guy collection (I know my girl). I'm going to pick up some candles, break out the webcam, and we're going to have a candlelit dinner some 2000 miles apart...
Re:Blow job (Score:2, Insightful)
You know, I know you're only joking and all, but I find statements like this make me wonder if I'm on the right board. I can respect anime when it's unabashedly pornographic. It's all the extremely-similar G-rated anime that I find really weird, especially after seeing the X-rated stuff. Something is just not right.
Why does all art from Japan look the same? Why do they all paint the same girl with the same pancake eyes?
Re:Something non-geeky (Score:5, Insightful)
But I can't agree with you more. I don't give christmas gifts, birthday gifts or whatever. If I see something in the store that reminds me of someone and think they'd like it, and I can afford it, I'll get it for them. I hate the attitudes of people of expecting something, and thankfully, my family is understanding of my philosophy. If it's about giving, why hold it to a particular day (here's your christmas gift, I got it weeks ago but you can't enjoy it until a certain day). How idiotic is that? Then, it becomes more about making yourself feel better about giving than the actual giving.
And as others have said, dont get me "geek" stuff unless you know I want it. I always appreciate the thought, effort put into gifts and the caring by the other person, but if I had wanted to buy an mp3 player or whatever, I would've. Maybe I want the Rio instead of an iPod. Maybe I care more about the RPM than HD size. Even if you get expert advice from other "geeks", their values and tastes can (and tend to) differ.
The best thing about a relationship, imo, is the intimacy. Spend valentines day together playing games that you both like or watch some movies that you guys like or whatnot. Plan the day together and lose yourself in each other's company and love.
Re:Something non-geeky (Score:4, Insightful)
If she wants more, ask yourself if she's worth it.
Sex (No, really... a serious reply) (Score:2, Insightful)
There are reasons that geeks get their own stereotype. We are overwhelmingly male and we were generally not very popular growing up. (If we had been we would not have had the time between parties to read so many books and acquire a career's worth of knowledge before the age of 21. This means we appreciate women! They're like gold (or maybe cocaine? anyways, something addictive) to us.
That being said there are some realities to being a geek that you should be aware of if you are going to keep him and yourself happy.
When it comes to anything materialistic or manufactured we generally know *exactly* what we want. Make, model number, version number, size, color, power rating; I mean we know *exactly*. Anything else is what we DIDN'T want.
We also know exactly where to get it at the best price.
We generally make a crap load of money and have been doing so since college or earlier.
Since we know what we want and we have mon-nay we always buy what we want when we want it. Forget the waiting around for a holiday or loved one to acquire what we want crap.
If something exists and we don't already have it that's because either A) we don't want it. (period.) or B) We really can't afford it (and neither can you; remember: you and your geek are a team).
You are losing if you buy us something and it's not what we wanted. You will generally have an impossible time guessing the reasons as to why we do or do not want something. It just results in something that we didn't really want, bought at the wrong place for too much money. And then we have the guilt over having to be nice to you for something we didn't want and then going and buying what we wanted anyways.
We generally have had, and continue to have, a rough time obtaining NON-materialistic items such as sex or Bjs. I mean we *are* still geeks; we are not at the top of lists for strippers, prom queens or pornstars to date.
So the result of this: Don't bother buying us anything materialistic; you'll just miss the mark. (with the exception of something provacative that you're going to wear).But NEVER forget the following gifts:
Birthday sex (yours and ours)
Valentine's Sex.
Christmas Sex.
Anniversary Sex.
Any other sex (you don't have to wait for an official holiday; you can make up crazy holidays as well. Trust me. He won't mind. In fact, beware, he will probably keep track of the holidays you created and publish a new professional, glossy, full sized annual calendar and hang it on the wall every year and expect gift giving again. We have the technology.)
Play to his needs; don't try to compete with the materialistic. If he's a geek he probably doesn't need or want anything else that you can buy him. He will, however, love sex. Its the perfect gift for a geek. Don't ignore the jokes on this topic regarding sex; they're really sensitive truths couched in humor to protect us.Re:Blow job (Score:3, Insightful)
Such a strange topic for
Re:Something non-geeky (Score:2, Insightful)
make him feel less like a geek (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Geeks are NOT sad losers (Score:3, Insightful)
Sounds like a school playground argument to me. If everyone calls you a "geek" and has the definition of "geek" [reference.com] as:
A person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy.
B person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.
in mind, and you decide in your mind that you (and a bunch of other people who also get called 'geeks') define 'geek' as "a cool, technically oriented, talented, creative, attractive and seductive superman", that still doesn't change the fact that all these other people regard you as socially inept and wouldn't want to be hanging around with you.
Redefine all you want in your mind. It's the definition in other people's minds that you need to work on - or rather, a more realistic solution, you need to work on your behaviour so that instead of calling you a geek they call you an 'expert' or something similar which doesn't imply social ineptitude and general un-coolness.
This whole movement of 'geeks are cool' is just a very flagrant exercise in self-denial by a significant segment of the population.
I'm a software engineer. I have very deep technical skills at what I do. But I also have a life outside of the computer screen, both social and otherwise, and unlike a "geek" I'm not socially inept. I love computers but they're not the most important thing in my life. I'm a technical expert. Call yourself a geek if you want, but you're not doing yourself any favours.
Daniel
Re:A threesome with your girlfriend (Score:2, Insightful)
And I'm telling you, if you're really in love with a person, it is not even on your mind, then all you can think about is this other person, and you simply want to spend your time just with her. Just you and her.
It might be the time to have sex, however, if both feel like it. But take your time, the worst thing you can do with sex is rushing it. Also, it is too common that people have sex the first time when drunk, or at night. It is much better to do it in the middle of the day, when you're awake and attention is at the top. Then, put several hours aside, make sure you don't have anything you have to catch. That's a prerequisite for good sex.