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Homemade Subliminal CDs 305

Posted by michael
from the real-submissions-unedited dept.
An anonymous reader writes "Hello Slashdotters, I am totally stumped on how to do this. I would like to create custom subliminal CDs for my own use. I don't trust the CDs for sale in the stores, after all, who regulates that industry and ensures there actually is a message on them, and if so, what is the message? I would like to create positive motivational CDs, or even recite text from study guides/trivia, you name it, and lay it underneath tracks from a custom CD of my favorite bands. What is the best software to use to create such a beast on Windows, Mac, and Linux systems? And conversely, has anyone used any of the music software on these platforms to actually analyze the contents of commercial subliminal CDs? Any advice would be of use...thanks!"
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Homemade Subliminal CDs

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  • by grub (11606) <slashdot@grub.net> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:14AM (#8736645) Homepage Journal

    I don't trust the CDs for sale in the stores, after all, who regulates that industry and ensures there actually is a message on them, and if so, what is the message

    April 1, 2004: Aluminium foil sells record amounts worldwide. History will refer to it as "The Slashdot-Bauxite Phenomena" which seems to predominately strike teen->30ish single male geeks.
  • DUPE (Score:1, Funny)

    by mattyohe (517995) <matt@yohe.gmail@com> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:15AM (#8736661)
  • by SpudGunMan (456448) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:16AM (#8736669)
    Next Head Line - I would like to package my own Breakfast cerial. I am worried that the US Goverment is trying to draft me to war with my sugar smacks!
  • by Doesn't_Comment_Code (692510) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:17AM (#8736682)

    I would like to create custom subliminal CDs for my own use.

    Anybody else creeped out?
  • BS (Score:5, Funny)

    by FortKnox (169099) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:18AM (#8736692) Homepage Journal
    You don't want to make subliminal positive motivation CDs... you want to make subliminal CDs convincing hot chicks to sleep with you!

    Umm... hey hottie... nice iPod... here, listen to THIS mp3 I have...
  • by BigFlirt (632867) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:18AM (#8736693) Homepage Journal
    I think the best (send me money) way to make some custom (send me money) subliminal CDs would be to (send me money) go to your local record shop and (send me money) ask around for help. I know that I've bought some CDs (with your money) that really motivated me to learn (how to send subliminal messages) material for school and I got those by (send me money) just asking around
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:19AM (#8736704)
    Turns out a mistake in shipping sent me a 'compulsively refresh Slashdot' tape instead. My Slashdot refreshing knows no satiety.
  • Why worry? (Score:5, Funny)

    by Bull999999 (652264) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:21AM (#8736726) Journal
    Why worry about subliminal message on store bought CDs? I'm pretty sure a caring and well respected RIAA would never do anything other can put the artists' and customers' best interests. In fact, I welcome our new RIAA overlords... That reminds me, I need to go to the store and buy high quility CD's full of equally high quility songs (without any fillers) endorsed by high quility RIAA directors.
  • by shiafu (220820) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:22AM (#8736741)
    As we all know from the Simpsons, the Navy is quite skilled in this art:

    Lisa: But you have recruiting ads on TV. Why do you need subliminal messages?

    Smash: It's a three-pronged attack. Subliminal, liminal, and superliminal.

    Lisa: Superliminal?

    Smash: I'll show you. [opens the window, and shouts at Lenny and Carl, who are standing on the corner] Hey, you! Join the Navy!

    Carl: Uh, yeah, all right.

    Lenny: I'm in.

  • Re:BS (Score:5, Funny)

    by (trb001) (224998) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:22AM (#8736742) Homepage
    Saved by the Bell [movieprop.com] showed us this is a bad idea...inevitably, the tape/CD will end up in the hands of some large guy who then wants to do things to you in uncomfortable places.

    --trb
  • by Feathers McGraw (180980) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:22AM (#8736748)
    Kevin Nealon has already patented this technology. Fortunately, the licensing fees are really quite reasonable .
  • Begone! (Score:3, Funny)

    by CharAznable (702598) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:22AM (#8736749)
    Subliminal messages are the work of Satanists and Commie Pinko bastards trying to corrupt America's Christian youth!
    Once I learned the TRUTH I BURNED all my Pat Boone and Mandy Moore CD's! MUSIC IS EVIL!
    Stop what thou are doing now unless you want to Burn in a Lake of Fire!!!!
  • Sure! (Score:2, Funny)

    by The Desert Palooka (311888) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:22AM (#8736753)
    All you have to do is buy my Subliminal CD instruction course. It's 4 Message packed Subliminal CDs that will teach you all the secrets of the subliminal industry and how you too can program your own dron... errrr... mind to do what you want!

    You can learn all of this while you sleep!

  • by Dun Malg (230075) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:23AM (#8736757) Homepage
    Here's [rapidnet.com] something explaining that the notion of subliminal anything is hogwash. April 1st or not, slashdot should remain a place of learning...

    OK, I couldn't say that without laughing either

  • Simple. (Score:5, Funny)

    by American AC in Paris (230456) * on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:25AM (#8736773) Homepage
    1. Record thirty minutes' worth of an industrial-strength air conditioning unit from five feet away. Use a unidirectional microphone.
    2. Purchase/download a copy of "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes". Chop it up into ten-second segments, chain them together starting with the last and ending with the first, and reverse the entire file.
    3. Overlay the two audio loops and decrease their speed by a factor of eight. This should leave you with a low-pitched rumble.
    4. Loop this clip so that it will fill an entire CD to the last bit.
    5. IMPORTANT:Toggle every bit that corresponds with a number in the Fibonacci sequence (i.e. if the fifth bit on the track is a '1', make it a '0'.)
    6. Burn this track to a CD.
    7. Get ready for bed.
    8. Put on a pair of headphones (use a noise-cancelling pair with gold-plated cables for best effect) and start playing the CD.
    9. EXACTLY TEN SECONDS into the track, think very hard about the subliminal message you want to convey to yourself.
    10. Fall asleep.

    Behold, the power of suggestion.

  • Re:BS (Score:5, Funny)

    by GreyyGuy (91753) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:25AM (#8736775)
    What, like the back of a Volkswagen?
  • by j0hnfr0g (652153) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:26AM (#8736791)
    create positive motivational CDs

    How about positive, motivational music?

    You may actually want to check out some Christian rock (or pop, or whatever you're in to), even if you are not a Christian. Much of it is "watered down" enough that it doesn't sound like a sermon in any way.

    Try Switchfoot or Pillar. Both have "crossed over" into the mainstream market.
  • by sketerpot (454020) <sketerpot@gmail . c om> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:27AM (#8736795)
    Don't tell him that! You may ruin the placebo effect!
  • Re:BS (Score:2, Funny)

    by aaribaud (585182) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:29AM (#8736821)
    you want to make subliminal CDs convincing hot chicks to sleep with you!
    to sleep ?
  • by Feathers McGraw (180980) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:31AM (#8736838)
    Lisa: "A subliminal idea can be planted in your mind without you even knowing it."
    Homer: "Lisa, that's a load of rich, creamery butter."
  • by wardomon (213812) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:31AM (#8736840)
    Explain why people use Windows...
  • by Jugalator (259273) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:32AM (#8736848) Journal
    Yes, those RIAA employees are creepy!

    I wonder if this one is really going to use them for personal reasons though... Sounds to me like it's just the next logical step in their War against Piracy.
  • by flinxmeister (601654) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:34AM (#8736875) Homepage
    Great things can be achieved
    if you use subliminal tools that are proven to be
    very effective by people with the
    experience in the areas of consciousness,
    memory and mental capacity. If you just believe
    every quack out there there's no telling the
    mess you can get into. So don't trust every
    offer by every amateur with a web page.
    Nobody will tell you the bad results. In fact,
    everyone will say they have good results.
    You need to do your research well.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:36AM (#8736890)
    OMG! It worked! I want sex now!
  • by lorcha (464930) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:40AM (#8736936)
    What is the best software to use to create such a beast on Windows, Mac, and Linux systems?
    Translation: I'm going to do this on Windows, but if I don't mention OSX and/or Linux, I'll never get this story posted.
  • by Wun Hung Lo (702718) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:44AM (#8736978)
    Geez...what do you think the little moving blue bar at the bottom of the Windows boot screen is? "Windows is secure...Forced upgrades are good...that blue screen is your imagination..."
  • by flyneye (84093) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:44AM (#8736980) Homepage
    As my main field of research(cant tell very much)for years now i can say that the articles author could use any of the programs that produce binaural beating at the appropriate frequencies for the task at hand.make sure the slow changes in freq.drop match the time changes in the vocal/music track.vocoding software should be utilized at this point.vocode stereo track with binaural beating(experiment w/mix) then mix this right over the top of the same track untouched.(again experement w/mix after all theres no reason i should just give up years of research for free)
    and uh.. dolo666 take two placebo and call someone who cares.

  • by alphabet26 (534873) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:51AM (#8737097)

    I would like to create custom subliminal CDs for my own use.


    I can imagine... "Oh, you like Billy Joel? I just happen to have his CD here! Let's have a listen!"

    In the middle of the night (have sex with me)
    I go walking in my dreams (you dream of me)
    Through the mountains of faith (let me touch your mountains)
    To a river so deep (I go really deep)

  • by unFKNreal (217693) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:51AM (#8737100)
    I'm pretty sure these aren't jokes, at least not in the sense you're thinking of. Judging by the "department" name, I think slashdot is using april fools day as an opportunity to show us some of the more stupid story submissions that they get.

    I say keep it up!
  • by alexo (9335) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @11:56AM (#8737190) Journal
    > Ya, thats what the subliminal Massages want you to think!

    Where can I find a subliminal masseuse?
  • by BlightThePower (663950) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @12:14PM (#8737377)
    !yawyna hsac eht em dnes tuB
  • Yes. What works better is superliminal messaging. On my website [dasmegabyte.org] I sell a series of superliminal CDs that will help you lose weight fast. Here's a sample from the transcript:

    [soothing new age music plays]
    [Das speaks] Welcome to the superliminal weight loss tape. I will provide you with the gentle encouragement you need to lose weight and be a better you. Are you ready? Sit someplace comfortable, close your eyes, and turn up your headphones. We're ready to begin.
    [Das screams] HEY FATTY! GOD YOU ARE FAT! SMALLER PEOPLE ORBIT YOU! EAT LESS FOOD YOU FAT FUCK!

    Etcetera. We also have a tape that will make YOU less wishy washy and indecisive and more attractive to girls.
  • Re:Simple. (Score:4, Funny)

    by wed128 (722152) <woodrowdouglass AT gmail DOT com> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @12:24PM (#8737539)
    11. ?? 12. Profit
  • by Psmylie (169236) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @12:26PM (#8737575) Homepage
    "It must be tin! Aluminum is powerless!"

    This is not true. Many of the government's newer brain-scanning and subliminal suggestion waves are designed to have an impact through traditional tin foil. Aluminum foil, while not as effective overall, is quite effective against these newer control beams.
    The proper foil hat to prevent mind control and reading is comprised of two layers, one of aluminum and one of tin foil. Just be sure to press the two sheets together very tightly, as there is some evidence that a control beam getting through the first layer might be reflected back by the second, causing a resonance that can build up in the gap between the layers. This resonance can cause massive headaches and occasional head-explody.
  • by cluke (30394) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @12:26PM (#8737579)
    > Where can I find a subliminal masseuse?

    One is giving a subliminal massage right now.. but don't realise it!!

    I guess this is a good point as any to insert my probably untrue friend-of-a-friend story. This guy went to Thailand and went to a massage parlour. Anyway, he got this great sensual massage and at the end he's pretty excited, and the woman notices and says to him "you want masturbate?"
    So, he eagerly agrees, and she disappears for a while. He thinks she's getting ready, washing her hands or something, so he waits. And waits. And waits.
    Eventually she sticks her head back round the door and says "You finish yet?"
  • Re:BS (Score:3, Funny)

    by bfg9000 (726447) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @12:40PM (#8737738) Homepage Journal
    Now you understand why BSD is dying -- we can't seem to figure out the tricky art of reproduction. After programming for so long, we take everything literally.
  • by ConceptJunkie (24823) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @12:46PM (#8737778) Homepage Journal
    I had a great business plan to sell superluminal CD's to help people lose weight, but since the customers would lose weight before buying the CD's, they wouldn't bother to order in the first place.

    I'm afraid if I go through with it, the causality paradox might cause the universe to explode.

  • by hetairoi (63927) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @12:50PM (#8737819) Homepage
    because otherwise you're just lame. Anyway, I did a variation of this joke [snopes.com] on my users. Here is the email I sent out yesterday 15 minutes before leaving:

    Tomorrow night our network and phone system will be "cleaned". This will be done by forcing air through the wiring to blow out any debris that may be blocking the system from functioning correctly. Please help us out by brining in a small plastic sandwich bag in the morning. These bags will be placed over your headsets to prevent the dust and debris from covering your work area. Leaving the mess for the cleaning crew, as you know, may not do much good.

    Thank you for your cooperation.

    ---

    Hetairoi
    IT Systems Admin


    As they arrived to work with their bags I asked them to come into my office. Once there I had them hold up their baggie and stand in front of a sign that read "Happy April Fools" and took a pic :)

    Over half brought bags and only about 6 actually knew it was a joke. One person thought something was up and asked me about it yesterday before I left, I spat out a bunch of nonsense and protocols and his eye's just glazed over. He brought a bag. My fav was the manager, who didn't even read my email, but was told to bring a bag and did so. She has vowed revenge :)

  • by Compunexus (711717) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:03PM (#8737952) Homepage
    I have and old tape of subliminal suggestions (commercially created). One day, messing around with it in a modded tape recorder, I managed to expose the subliminal message for 1.5 seconds. It was a regular message that was speeded up but pitch changed down to higher audio tones. A bit like something buzzing in your ear but almost understandable. This actually confirmed what the author said in the narration at the beginning of the tape. Oh, the author said that putting a completely audible, normal speed and pitch message at the beginning will increase your conscious mind's acceptance of the subliminal message. The best sounds for the foreground they said are stereo sounds of the sea or other white noise. I guess if you are a city person not used to hearing the ocean, the noise of a downtown street would work. The message was 2 sessions of phrases, if spoken normaly would be about 5 minutes each. After taking out space, speeding up and pitch bending down, it played in about 20-30 seconds for each session. Does it work? Well I used it off and on for a year and beleived I was making changes. Then I tried to use it as sleep learning. 3 hours into it I sat bolt upright and had to go do some work around the house. It was a stop procrastinating tape! Never doubted it worked since. Still get it out sometimes. (not today, maybe later ;-) )
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday April 01, 2004 @04:40PM (#8740793)
    Everyone [You will] knows that [buy me] subliminal messages [a brand new] don't work [computer]; however, it [and quack] is worth [like a duck] a try.

    Damn! I wish that blinking text HTML tag is still around.

A penny saved is a penny to squander. -- Ambrose Bierce

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