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People with real l337 speak names? 1441

Posted by michael
from the real-submissions-unedited dept.
An anonymous reader writes "I'm considering naming my first-born child either Br4d or J4n37, depending on gender. My wife isn't too keen on the idea but there's plenty of time left to persuade her. Anyway, it had me wondering whether there are any people out there with real l337 speak given names (or even just a digit in their name). Do you know of any? Other than people saying your dad is a l4m3r, What are the possible pitfalls of having a digit in your name? Is it legal to have a digit in a name? Am I guaranteeing my child becomes a misfit? Am I the misfit?" Ask Jennifer 8. Lee.
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People with real l337 speak names?

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  • by JoeBaldwin (727345) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:31PM (#8738248) Homepage Journal
    As far as April Fools jokes go, this takes the biscuit.

    It's both unfunny and the story makes no sense.
  • I think... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by j0keralpha (713423) * on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:32PM (#8738252)
    I think you'll just wind up irreperably harming your child, as when they get to school and interact with kids, they'll be mercilessly made fun of. hey, if you want to be father to the next dylan kleybold, thats up to you, but do it in an isolated area where you will be the only casualty.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:33PM (#8738275)
    But,

    On the off chance it is not then the best thing to do is to change your own name and see how it goes.

    Reserve the stupid name for your second child if you find it so great.
  • by MajorBlunder (114448) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:35PM (#8738302)
    considering the fact that most l33t speakers stereotypicaly lack reproductive partners
  • Don't do it (Score:5, Insightful)

    by billmaly (212308) <bill.maly@mcleod ... inus threevowels> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:35PM (#8738305)
    OK, April Foole or not, your child deserves a real name, not a gag name or a spoof or your attempt to make a point or to be cute. You've no clue what will become of your child later in life, what path they will take, who they will work and live with. A name is one of few things you have control over in their life, and a bad/goofy name can really impact a child's psyche and who they become. My own father never outgrew the name Jan (old world version of John) and forever held it against his parents. If you need further reference, look at the flack that the musician Prince put up with when he changed his name to an unprononucable symbol. Do you really want people laughing at your kid behind his/her back the rest of their life?

    Name them Robert, Sarah, Bruce, Steve, Karen, Jessica, whatever. Just don't get cute or play games with your kids name. It's too important for you to mess with.
  • Re:I think... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by gcaseye6677 (694805) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:38PM (#8738350)
    It wouldn't cause any more ridicule than naming a kid Pubert, which is a name I have actually heard of. But seriously, some people should be arrested for child abuse for coming up with some of these horrendously stupid names.
  • 3Jane (Score:2, Insightful)

    by nakedjames (442494) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:43PM (#8738439) Homepage
    Consider that enigmatic character from William Gibsons "The Sprawl" trilogy.

    Of course she was the second clone of the original Jane Tessier-Ashpool, but hey...
  • by forgetmenot (467513) <.moc.xobeno. .ta. .llewejsta.> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:45PM (#8738489) Homepage
    This is the ultimate in inconsiderate selfishness. The name you give a child is the name that child is going to be stuck with, at least until they're old enough to change it to something sensible. Children are not 'possessions' or baubles that hang around as a display of your status or in this case you 'geekiness'. Consequently the name you give a child is something very serious and deserving of every bit of consideration you can give it and more. With more idiots like this naming their children in the same way they would name a pet or even a car, I would not be surprised to see more lawsuits in the future by offspring pissed off at their parents for the lifetime of humiliation heaped upon them by these inconsiderate jerkwads who don't deserve the title of 'parent'. You don't think it'll happen? There's already cases of young men suing their parents over being circumcised - a very common practice until recently. A child's name is NOT a joke. Grow the hell up!

    To put it into perspective. "Prince Michael" might not be old enough to care right now, but once he's a young adult, do you think he's really going to appreciate the amount of consideration is self-obsessed ass-wipe of a father gave his name?
  • by a hollow voice (112803) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:51PM (#8738596)
    Gender has more than one proper English usage.

    Gender and sex are generally considered to be two [planetpapers.com] separate [undp.org] (related [u-net.com]) topics [eserver.org].

    For those not in a reading mood, your sex generally considered to be what your chromosomes and organs say (assuming they agree, which they don't always), while your gender refers to learned social roles.
  • by cK-Gunslinger (443452) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:52PM (#8738600) Journal

    IMHO, the best part of /.'s 04/01 are posts like these. I (and many others) get a real kick out of the whiners and complainers who bitch about "unfunny" posts. Last year was a riot! Not only were the massively-duped stories great, but the bitching was top-notch. I think a few people may have actually left the site permanently!

    Anyway, I've been trying to guess the "theme" for this year's topic and I think perhaps tomorrow that it will be revealed that all these "unfunny" stories are all actually real news/submissions that the mods have been queuing up for a while just for today. But I dunno. I'll just sit back and enjoy the ride.

    Thanks again for you contribution. Cheers!

  • sending e-mail (Score:3, Insightful)

    by TubeSteak (669689) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:56PM (#8738686) Journal
    Either way, the kid's emails will never get past the spam filters.
    Imagine it: j8Lee@wherever.edu
    or worse: Br4d.Cumming@whevever.edu
    Seriously, how much of your email has gotten bounced or blackholed over the years because of your name?
  • Re:Don't do it (Score:5, Insightful)

    by RobertB-DC (622190) * on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:05PM (#8738842) Homepage Journal
    Do you really want people laughing at your kid behind his/her back the rest of their life?

    No fooling: my wife works at a children's hospital, and once had a child come through whose middle name was "Trash". The parent (singlular, of course) was just as caring as you might expect from someone who would do that to her child. In a fair world, a name like that on a birth certificate would be prima facie evidence of child abuse... whether you were thinking along the lines of Boy Named Sue [banned-width.com] or not.
  • by cgenman (325138) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:10PM (#8738932) Homepage
    Gender is the personal expression of sexual identity. Definition 2 hits this directly, though I could see why an etymologyst would list the grammatical definition of gender first. The 3rd definition is more common usage, but it is split in half with 3b supporting the classification schema definition. Note, none of these definitions refer specifically to biology, just identity perception. And as the baby is too young to have a well formed sexual identity perception, it can be said to be biologically male or female, but it cannot be said to be psychologically masculine or feminine.

    Sex is verifiable. Gender is a perception.

  • by Theatetus (521747) * on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:10PM (#8738934) Journal

    Back in college my housing director's name was, no lie, "Sus3an". I figured at first that the "3" was just her trying to make a German "s" on a US keyboard but, no, it was in fact a 3.

    Don't do it, dude. Your kids will have enough reasons to hate you without giving them stupid names.

  • by meatball_mulligan (633993) * <r_mexico@comca s t .net> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:23PM (#8739156)

    This is your child, not your new toy or pet. Why should she have to go through life branded with a weird name because of your obsessions. How would you like to have been called 'Caboose Williamson' because of your dad's fondness for model trains? What if your mom was really into amateur radio and decided to christen you 'Frequency Modulation Jones'?

    This name is a gift you are giving to your child. Try to give her something she might want.

    m.m.

  • Re:oy (Score:2, Insightful)

    by xSauronx (608805) <xsauronxdamnit@NosPaM.gmail.com> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:27PM (#8739207)
    you could at least make up that fortran was cultural somehow...what kind of jerk would name their kid in l33t speak is beyond me, but it sounds like a guarantee of therapy down the road for a multitude of reasons.
  • Re:oy (Score:5, Insightful)

    by paxmark1 (636441) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:56PM (#8739565)
    Yeah, why saddle someone with an offensive name. Yes, I know what Frigga means. There was a high school basketball player in Iowa once named Fonda Dicks. That is one cruel father. And in my high school in the 1970's a guy moved into town and was in my class. His dad the Rev. Frost named his son Jack. It is rough enough being a kid. Going through life with a joke is beyond the pale. The original poster needs to get beyond a portion of his persona and start embracing the persona called "DAD". He needs to start embracing another part that is called "partner" and listen to his partner. If he really wants to be cute - he can change his own name to a more geeklike persona. Shalom,

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