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Wacky Co-Worker Habits? 121

Posted by Cliff from the wacky-people-in-the-industry dept.
weekendWarrior asks: "Every office has 'that guy.' The one that performs some bizarre or nonsensical action almost daily. The guy with an almost love-affair for the company's standard issue red stapler. The guy who prints out every email he receives (even the spam - thank god he's not on some pr0nographic spammer list). What strange, bizarre, and wacky habits do your co-workers have?"
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Wacky Co-Worker Habits? More

Wacky Co-Worker Habits?

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  • What strange, bizarre, and wacky habits do your co-workers have?"

    You mean besides showing up for work?
    • I dont know where to begin with this guy, he seems to encompass all that makes office guys weird minus the toys on his desk... he's got the creativity of a fruitbat. I'm on a webteam with the guy and he considers himself the leader of our pack b/c he's been here for years. Our client is ATF and the guy is convinced he IS an ATF AGENT! HIS POSTINGS SAVES LIVES!! He's so gungho about this mediocre web maintenance job it drives me nuts. Hats, badges, pins, plaques of and even a baseball with ATF tattooed a

  • Not that this is relevant, but... (Score:5, Funny)

    by grnchile ( 305671 ) * on Saturday October 09, 2004 @01:55PM (#10480051)
    I used to work with a guy who would submit the weirdest questions to slashdot.org and then spend the afternoon obsessively refreshing his browser window, waiting to see what sort of flames resulted.
  • Comment removed based on user account deletion

  • A simple answer (Score:2, Funny)

    by myurr ( 468709 )
    "What strange, bizarre, and wacky habits do your co-workers have?"

    Working?
  • How on earth does he avoid getting pr0n spam? I call foul, because no one can avoid getting that.
  • There's a guy in the next cube from me who cannot ever resist any opportunity to advocate Linux. Never mind if the discussion is high end 'big iron' (E10Ks) or the receptionists word processing solution, he always claims it can be done more efficiently, or cheaper with Linux. The irony is, he doensn't even use Linux on his work box (we are allowed to run RedHat) because he claims RedHat are 'anti-open source'.

    Go figure.

  • Farter (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday October 09, 2004 @02:11PM (#10480124)
    I once shared a cube with a guy who farted constantly. I got used to it, but it caught most folks off-guard. He would even do it in mid-conversation. The look on peoples' faces when he would rip one during a meeting was priceless.

    A typical scenario went something like this:
    You: "Hey, man. You have a minute?"
    Guy: "What's up?"
    You: "I'm curious about this section of code in ..."
    Guy's Anus:
    You: "Uh, um... main.cpp"
  • My coworkers post big print outs of geek/tech-Haiku.

    And post them all over the walls.

    I want to work from home :P

  • Annoying Cell Phone Rings (Score:5, Funny)

    by binaryspiral ( 784263 ) on Saturday October 09, 2004 @02:12PM (#10480128)
    Sales team was given Treos for "increased effectiveness"

    The team is technically inept and couldn't figure out the optical mice installed on their new workstations.

    They leave the ringers on high and on their desks when in meetings. So the IT department started changing the ringers to different tones, just to watch them tilt their heads when the phones ring. Like when you talk to a dog...

    Then we changed them to other sounds - like farts, people talking, or other wacky things.

    It's fun... so I guess we have the wacky habits of messing with the sales team. Fun!

  • Email construction (Score:5, Funny)

    by m_chan ( 95943 ) on Saturday October 09, 2004 @02:17PM (#10480149) Homepage
    Once worked with a sales representative who was rather exuberant in her use of punctuation.

    Every email she would send would have a subject line like, "VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" or "READ THIS IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!"

    Her letters were similar. Her grammar and spelling were fairly decent. However, do interrogatives seem more pressing when they end like this?!?!?!? She was prolific in the amount of email she generated, and making every subject sound like an emergency along with the abuse of the punctuation made for rather brutal stuff to read.

    One day, I told her that our license for Office required micropayments for usage of punctuation and that accounting was concerned about the ridiculously large overusage fees we were paying Microsoft for exclamation points.

    She went pale. I wish I could have kept up the ruse, but another sales person fell out of her chair when she saw her reaction.
    • Many salespeople seem to suffer that affliction.

      Interestingly, spam filters seem to think that kind of thing is spam. :P

    • Re:Email construction (Score:1, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward
      My favorite is when someone in the company (typically an administrative assistant/security person/etc I'm sure) sends out an email about someone leaving their lights on in the parking lot or finding a lost earring in the lobby.

      That would all be fine and good, if they weren't sending the email out to ALL 40,000+ PEOPLE in the company at every location, including India, France, the UK, Australia, Canada, South America, America, Asia, Africa...

    • Re:Email construction (Score:5, Funny)

      by Pentagram ( 40862 ) on Saturday October 09, 2004 @03:55PM (#10480812) Homepage
      Yeah, I used to know someone who did that. When I told her it was annoying she would resend the email with even more !s.

      Eventually I started sending her messages back to her with faked headers and saying something like:

      Foosoft filter has rejected your email. Reason: too many continguous [!]s. The message has not been delivered. Please check your message and try again.

      To try foosoft filter, ...

      She soon got the message and resent her email with slightly less punctuation, which I rejected again. I kept "filtering" it until I let her off with a max of two !s in a row. Her future emails had sane punctuation. Strangely satisfying.

  • Hey! (Score:4, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday October 09, 2004 @02:22PM (#10480166)

    I am 'that guy', you insensitive clod!

  • I am the weird co-worker (Score:5, Informative)

    by RabidMonkey ( 30447 ) <canadaboy@g[ ]l.com ['mai' in gap]> on Saturday October 09, 2004 @02:27PM (#10480188) Homepage
    I'm the office weirdguy. I have toys all over my desk ("Why do you have teenage mutant ninja turtles at your desk?" "because, they make my code better by defeating evil bugs for me"), postit notes with odd sayings stuck everywhere, the outside wall to my cube is the 'wall of dissent' with politcal comics all over it, and my while board has been turned into a piece of art when I decided to connect all the vowels in my todo list with a line then colour in the resulting shapes.

    I bring a beer pitcher full of ice water to meetings, and drink out of a scooby doo cup. When I'm stuck on a problem, I'll unplug my headphones and play bagpipe music until someone tells me to shut it off (bagpipe music is very inspirational!). I have a Jesus action figure (now, with real blessing action!) which sits on top of my monitor, despite the fact I'm a staunch athiest.

    Oh ... and I've got the only seamonkey farm in the building.

    I frequently yell at the printer behind me .. it's some surplus that us techs use and it jams all the time and beeps constantly, all day.

    it's fun being the office weirdo .. people come visit me when they're having a bad day cuz they know I can cheer them up. My toys are all over the floor in other peoples desk now .. I have a lending library really (just sign out a toy on the white board).

    don't knock the office weirdo ... we have an important role to play in office dynamics.
    • Me too... I take my shoes off in the office, have unusual things on my walls as art (a real "doohicky" circa 1990), and use one of three Macs in a 500 Wintel PC org.

      Weirdos unite! [wikipedia.org]

    • My hat's off to you OW. I aspire to do the same, but used to work in a sterile soulless cube where fun was a four letter word.

      My collection of toys and entertainment is growing with every UPS delivery in my new job. My fridge showed up yesterday - saving people a trip down three flights of stairs to a soda machine for $.50/can on your honor. My Bender action figure is very popular... my Matrix Sentinal gives the willy's to the old lady that works next to me (whoo hoo - no more "grandkids" storys....)

      I thi
    • You are so right about the bagpipe music. I got a CD of Pipe and Drum Band Champions that I used to play when I was doing heavy drafting. It was brilliant at getting me in The Zone.

      The funny thing is, my co-workers wanted to know what I was playing in my headphones that worked so well for me. They even started borrowing it.

      Try also Peter Gabriel's "Passion".

      PS: No, I'm not scottish.

    • Re:I am the weird co-worker (Score:1, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward
      There's nothing particularlly unique about you -- every post-dotcom office has at least one "Computer Nerd With Toys On His Desk". Dime-a-dozen nowdays.

      We had a guy like you who got "laid-off". It was funny watching put all that shit in a box with a security guard hovering over him. He kept saying things to himself like "Oh my Pokemon poster", as if that entitled him to a job or something. Pretty pathetic.

      • Or, if it's a graphic design studio, EVERYONE has a desk full of toys.

        Except me, I'm the weird one by not only having no toys, but generally nothing but the essentials in my cube. Monitors, mouse, keyboard, phone, coffee mug, iPod, notepad, and that's it.

    • you sound like an obnoxious attention whore (Score:2, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward
      "look at me! look everybody! lookie! i'm sooooooo weird!" Did it ever occur to you that maybe people want to just be able to do their stupid job in peace so they can get it done and go home?

      Guys at tech jobs that think that they are weird are usually the biggest squares in the whole company. Typically they "act out" at work because it's the only place where they have an audience.

      Most of us grow out of "freaking out the normal people" by age 19 or so.
    • That was like the Weird co-worker's manifesto.

    • don't knock the office weirdo ... we have an important role to play in office dynamics.

      You mean like making the rest of us glad that we can get attention for our good qualities? ;)

  • Harlequin Romamce (Score:5, Interesting)

    by rueger ( 210566 ) * on Saturday October 09, 2004 @02:34PM (#10480234) Homepage
    A friend worked for Harlequin Romances [eharlequin.com].

    One editor (male) at the company would stop at least once each day, stomp around his desk, and mutter "KILL! KILL! KILL!"

    Another woman, even more scary, was heard to say at lunch one day "If I ever had boy children I would have to malnourish them so that they would be smaller and weaker than my girl children".

    Think for a moment how many millions of women are reading three, four, or five of these books every week...

  • Ergonomic keyboard (Score:5, Funny)

    by Apreche ( 239272 ) on Saturday October 09, 2004 @02:37PM (#10480260) Homepage Journal
    So I'm working at a small company over the summer. One of my friends was the sys admin/lead programmer there, that's how I got the job. This new guy comes in a few weeks before I go back to school. So my friend goes on newegg and buys him the usual 400 dollar computer. He also always gets a standard logitech optical USB mouse and the cheapest keyboard which has the correct button layout.

    He presents the computer to the new guy. The new guy says he doesn't want the mouse and keyboard "I'll bring my own ergonomic keyboard and trackball in from home." he says. So he comes back with a big old dirty microsoft ergonomic keyboard, the kind that has the keyboard split in half with a hump in the middle. And he also bring a fancy logitech trackball.

    We think nothing of it really. He's just an anal guy. But then I look over into his cube one day to see the most hilarious thing ever.

    The dude types via hunt and peck. I don't think that ergonomic keyboard makes a difference when you only use two fingers bub!
    • If you type fast you really must have an Ergonomic keyboard. I type 120-140 wpm and 10 minutes on a flat keyboard and I can feel my carpals heating up. I can, and do, type fast all day long on my ergo keyboard with no negative carpal action. Also, I'm the IT guy and I buy everyone Ergo keyboard unless they want flat ones. I pay $17 [ebccomputers.com] for a Microsoft Natural Multimedia keyboard, and I think $4 or $7 for flat keyboards. It's personal preference, but if AFAIK people *have* sued over disabilities caused by flat k
      • I switched to Dvorak layout some months ago. I pulled off & rearranged all the key caps on my home computer to help learn; the keyboard at work didn't allow this (the locking tabs went in different directions on different rows), so I just used a reference chart. When I got my 10-finger touch typing skill back w the new layout, I put the keys back in QWERTY on the home keyboard.

        My speed using Dvorak is the same as my pre-switch QWERTY speed -- I'd hoped it would be higher, but perhaps because characte
        • Anyone attempting to learn Dvorak may do well by not painting over/switching/etc. the QWERTY keys. Just put a reference right below your keyboard so you can glance at it, otherwise keep your eyes on the screen and fingers on the home row. You'll learn faster and pick it up in touch-type at the same time.

          Oh, and reserve about two weeks for a reasonable speed.

          .
        • I switched to the dvorak keyboard when I had to travel for work. It was a real pain dragging my ergonomic keyboard with my laptop through the airport... Now I can type on straight keyboards without pain. I used to have a 5 minute limit. I used a similar plan to yours when learning. I put stickers on my home computer, and a print out of the layout at work. By the time the labels wore off of my home computer I no longer needed them. I keep the print out at work so I can direct peoples questions towards
      • I hunt and peck without looking on a flat keyboard at 110-130 WPM..

        Most of my friends can do the same.

        It's not hard as long as you can remember what keys your random fingers are resting on.
        • I hunt and peck without looking on a flat keyboard at 110-130 WPM

          Interesting that there's no mention of % of accuracy. I bet bashing the keyboard with my forehead could yield me at least 200 wpm at 2% or 3% accuracy.

          But I find 130 wpm hunting and pecking impressive to the point of disbelief. I type on the homerow and have to concentrate to do 130.

          • At least 90% accurate the last time I checked.

            I took typing in High School (all of 2 years ago) and the teacher was amazed that I could do it.

            I finished the assignments in a few minutes and played Starcraft for the rest of the class.
            • I had a similar experience, except that I touch-typed (my style was moderately weird; I have small hands, so they moved an insane amount over the keyboard). Difference was, my teacher said, "OK, you passed the tests with 75 WPM, and we only require 45 WPM, but you used the backspace 4 times, and we only allow two. I mean, if you learn to type without the backspace, you'll be much faster". Fascist jerk.

  • er.. (Score:5, Insightful)

    by noselasd ( 594905 ) on Saturday October 09, 2004 @02:57PM (#10480383)
    This is /.
    Everyone reading your post is that guy.
  • We've got this 30something year old virgin who storms around the store floor angirly day in and day out. He gets pissed at everything... from having to do work, to eating lunch. One day, he is actually in a good mood, and we're arguing with a customer in the back. The customer is old, cane and all, and proceeds to walk up front. Angry Bald Virgin walks out behind him, without any idea whats going on. The old guy turns around and says "you following me??" and leaves the store. Angry Bald Virgin proceed

  • Talk about weird coworkers... (Score:5, Funny)

    by JavaRob ( 28971 ) on Saturday October 09, 2004 @03:08PM (#10480438) Homepage Journal
    Molly, who I work with, seems to spend *way* more time than is reasonable just wandering around the office, or going outside and, again, just wandering around. Not a smoke break, just wandering. Or I'll just look up and she's standing there, just staring at me. Not a word. Just staring, maybe smiling, maybe not.

    I don't want to be mean, but she's just.. quirky. I can't imagine she gets much work done. Her typing skills are horrendous, she clearly doesn't have a clue how to refill the paper in the printer (I think she just pretends she didn't notice it was empty, and waits for someone else to come along), and sometimes I see her just sleeping, or sitting there by the computer doing absolutely nothing. Watching the clouds go by outside. Watching the birds. Who knows.

    I don't want to give the impression that she's utterly silent. No, sometimes she can be talkative, even loud, but it's like gibberish to me. Maybe I only understand techie talk nowadays, but from the looks on other people's faces, I get the feeling no one else is following her either.

    She's actually kind of cute in a way, but she's startlingly hairy in ways most women simply are NOT (I'm SURE she doesn't shave, anywhere), and she can somehow be simultaeously very affectionate, but still a bitch. Her breath is, well, not pleasant, and I think I know why -- I've seen her peering interestly at food other people have *thrown out*, yes, in the trash, and I swear one I saw her munching happily on what looked to me like dog kibble.

    Did I mention I work from home?

  • annoying habits? (Score:4, Informative)

    by Down8 ( 223459 ) <Down8&yahoo,com> on Saturday October 09, 2004 @03:31PM (#10480625) Homepage
    http://myannoyingcoworkers.blogspot.com [blogspot.com]

    Hilarious stuff on there.

    -bZj

  • Odd crapping habits (Score:3)

    by Klowner ( 145731 ) on Saturday October 09, 2004 @03:41PM (#10480703) Homepage
    Where I work, we've got two bathrooms, one is rather small and one is even smaller. The larger of the two is located down the hall from our main work area, and the smaller one is considerably closer.

    We've all silently agreed that the one farther away is to be used if you need to take a crap, partially for privacy (since nobody walks farther to go to the bathroom, that'd be stupid), and partly for courtesy to fellow employees.

    This one guy, thinks it's hilarious to occupy the close bathroom and take a giant dump every day, and totally stinks up the whole bathroom, while the rest of us have very little time to even make a quick visit to the restroom, he has to make it nearly unbearable to do so.. Resulting in a a breakdown of the system, and making people run clear down the hall to the larger bathroom just to avoid the horrible smell.

    So the other day this guy was whining about the paper piled up on the printer, so I told him to sort it, and he called me a primadonna.... Stupid cow-orkers.
    • Okay, I think this is fairly simple... I'd suggest that you:
      1. Every morning (or whenever the cleaners come) take the toilet paper from small bathroom to large bathroom;
      2. Take no longer needed print outs and place them in small bathroom (optional)

      I assume he'd assume that there would always be toilet paper in the small bathroom. This'd probably only work once at best though.

    • You need a box of matches - works real good on clearing the air...


  • The guy who sits next to me (of course a caffeine junky) enjoys building soda can pyramids on his desk. He's recently been getting better at building higher and higher pyramids, but the other folks around me find it increasingly funny when the pyramid finally comes tumbling down ... only bad part about the big tumble is the month old remains of soda in the bottom of the cans being splattered all over the place.

    The best part is when he begins a new pyramid, he always starts with a loud sigh .... its quite a
  • ...and then showing us later at lunchtime. It's always when we least expect it, because it looks like he's just checking out his schedule or something.

    ARRRGH!

  • The office...chef? (Score:5, Funny)

    by MobyDisk ( 75490 ) on Saturday October 09, 2004 @05:51PM (#10481515) Homepage
    A French-Algerian chef who ran a panini and crepe stand outside our office building would regularly barge into the office, fire all the employees, steal supplies (phones, chairs, etc.) and demand that someone make him coffee. Of course, he was best friends with the CEO, so he was the only person who could open the CEO's door when it was closed without fearing for their life. If anyone else did something like this, the CEO would run up and down the office hallway yelling "Unbelievable!!! Un-f*cking-believable!!!!" But with this guy, it was okay. Note that it didn't matter if you were on a conference call, or conducting an interview. He had free reign.

    Fortunately, he always brought stuff back. And the panini's were excellent. So all was good :-)
  • I once worked with a guy who loved to try to make himself sound more professional during tech support calls, and would constantly use the same phrases and questions over and over every single night. Our favorite was "Are you eligible to access the internet at this time?"

  • Pinned up Socks (Score:4, Funny)

    by cruachan ( 113813 ) on Saturday October 09, 2004 @06:30PM (#10481752)
    First day I started as a postdoc I was shown to the office I was sharing with another postdoc. Walked into the room and found his wet socks pinned to the noticeboard - as he explained later, they'd got wet when he was cycling in and this was the best place to dry them.

    Universities seem to foster strange behaviour. Once got sent around to see a lecturer in another department to negotiate use of his photometer microscope. My supervisor warned me before I went that he was 'a little ecentric', but even so I though I did rather well to keep a straight face when I found him in full boy scout uniform.
  • Remember! If you don't see him...

    YOU'RE that guy.
  • There was an employee who worked for AT&T in the twin cities' suburb of Bloomington (reports verified by many of his ex-coworkers) who used to jerk off during staff meetings under the table, while pointedly staring at female co-workers. He was apparently a big fat skinhead with horrible personal habits, and was also responsible for the following memo being sent out to the entire building:
    "Please do not smear fecal matter on restroom walls."

  • An Office Full of Nuts (Score:5, Funny)

    by poena.dare ( 306891 ) on Saturday October 09, 2004 @09:28PM (#10482933)
    It would take too long to describe this office (an ISP) I worked in, but the following, very real, memo which was sent out by the office manager says a great deal:

    Sent: 03/30/1999
    From: Marcus
    To: All Employees
    Subject: Client Meeting Tomorrow

    Everyone please remember that I am meeting with a client tomorrow afternoon in the conference room. This meeting could lead to significant business for us, so please dress appropriately (business casual) and refrain from doing anything obnoxious while they are in the office. Their head honcho has been know to be a bit on the uptight side, so the following behaviour should be avoided:

    1. Playing loud music, especially any songs expressing an overt desire for anal sex.
    2. Scooting your ass on the carpet.
    3. Referring to their existing website as being "ass", "suk", or "suk-ass".
    4. Displaying any AVIs or MPGs that feature oral sex, be it human, canine, equine, or bovine.
    5. Discharging firearms.

    Your help is greatly appreciated.

    - Marcus

  • SouthPark (Score:3, Funny)

    by slonkak ( 648358 ) <slonkak@keviSLAC ... com minus distro> on Saturday October 09, 2004 @09:30PM (#10482944) Homepage
    There is an employee at my place of employment who can make anyone laugh. Out of nowhere, he will break into a whole episode of SouthPark. Every voice is done with perfection and every line is without error. But the best part is when I check my voicemail and hear, "Timmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy!"
  • There's a person in my office who rides his bike to work every day (rain or shine), has a Macquarium SE with a goldfish named Click (the fishes named Double-Click keep dying), has the webcam view out the window of his home office as his desktop wallpaper, munches on carrots when he isn't eating junk food, keeps a photo of his ex-boyfriend on his desk, has a wallet-sized copy of his BFA taped to his monitor, and hangs out on /. all the time.

    I'm not sure, but I think the guy who shares an office with me think

  • PHB (Score:2, Funny)

    by Performaman ( 735106 )
    My dad told me a story about this guy who worked at Arthur Andersen (his former employer) who would have his secretary print out all of his emails. Then this guy would write a reply on the printout, then fax it back to the sender.

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