Wacky Co-Worker Habits? 121
weekendWarrior asks: "Every office has 'that guy.' The one that performs some bizarre or nonsensical action almost daily. The guy with an almost love-affair for the company's standard issue red stapler. The guy who prints out every email he receives (even the spam - thank god he's not on some pr0nographic spammer list). What strange, bizarre, and wacky habits do your co-workers have?"
They're strange and bizzare alright (Score:5, Funny)
You mean besides showing up for work?
Meet Jum (Score:1)
Not that this is relevant, but... (Score:5, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
A simple answer (Score:2, Funny)
Working?
He must be the one (Score:2)
Linux Zealotry! (Score:2, Funny)
Go figure.
Farter (Score:5, Funny)
A typical scenario went something like this:
You: "Hey, man. You have a minute?"
Guy: "What's up?"
You: "I'm curious about this section of code in
Guy's Anus:
You: "Uh, um... main.cpp"
Haiku (Score:2)
And post them all over the walls.
I want to work from home
Annoying Cell Phone Rings (Score:5, Funny)
The team is technically inept and couldn't figure out the optical mice installed on their new workstations.
They leave the ringers on high and on their desks when in meetings. So the IT department started changing the ringers to different tones, just to watch them tilt their heads when the phones ring. Like when you talk to a dog...
Then we changed them to other sounds - like farts, people talking, or other wacky things.
It's fun... so I guess we have the wacky habits of messing with the sales team. Fun!
Email construction (Score:5, Funny)
Every email she would send would have a subject line like, "VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" or "READ THIS IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!"
Her letters were similar. Her grammar and spelling were fairly decent. However, do interrogatives seem more pressing when they end like this?!?!?!? She was prolific in the amount of email she generated, and making every subject sound like an emergency along with the abuse of the punctuation made for rather brutal stuff to read.
One day, I told her that our license for Office required micropayments for usage of punctuation and that accounting was concerned about the ridiculously large overusage fees we were paying Microsoft for exclamation points.
She went pale. I wish I could have kept up the ruse, but another sales person fell out of her chair when she saw her reaction.
Re:Email construction (Score:2)
Interestingly, spam filters seem to think that kind of thing is spam.
Re:Email construction (Score:2)
Well, yeah; it's from salespeople.
Re:Email construction (Score:1, Funny)
That would all be fine and good, if they weren't sending the email out to ALL 40,000+ PEOPLE in the company at every location, including India, France, the UK, Australia, Canada, South America, America, Asia, Africa...
Re:Email construction (Score:5, Funny)
Eventually I started sending her messages back to her with faked headers and saying something like:
Foosoft filter has rejected your email. Reason: too many continguous [!]s. The message has not been delivered. Please check your message and try again.
To try foosoft filter,
She soon got the message and resent her email with slightly less punctuation, which I rejected again. I kept "filtering" it until I let her off with a max of two !s in a row. Her future emails had sane punctuation. Strangely satisfying.
Re:Email construction (Score:5, Funny)
Where do I download this Foosoft you speak of? Do they offer a trial download? Does it work with Windows ME?
Re:Email construction (Score:2)
Hey! (Score:4, Funny)
I am 'that guy', you insensitive clod!
I am the weird co-worker (Score:5, Informative)
I bring a beer pitcher full of ice water to meetings, and drink out of a scooby doo cup. When I'm stuck on a problem, I'll unplug my headphones and play bagpipe music until someone tells me to shut it off (bagpipe music is very inspirational!). I have a Jesus action figure (now, with real blessing action!) which sits on top of my monitor, despite the fact I'm a staunch athiest.
Oh
I frequently yell at the printer behind me
it's fun being the office weirdo
don't knock the office weirdo
Re:I am the weird co-worker (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I am the weird co-worker (Score:2)
Weirdos unite! [wikipedia.org]
Re:I am the weird co-worker (Score:3, Funny)
My collection of toys and entertainment is growing with every UPS delivery in my new job. My fridge showed up yesterday - saving people a trip down three flights of stairs to a soda machine for $.50/can on your honor. My Bender action figure is very popular... my Matrix Sentinal gives the willy's to the old lady that works next to me (whoo hoo - no more "grandkids" storys....)
I thi
Re:I am the weird co-worker (Score:2)
The funny thing is, my co-workers wanted to know what I was playing in my headphones that worked so well for me. They even started borrowing it.
Try also Peter Gabriel's "Passion".
PS: No, I'm not scottish.
Re:I am the weird co-worker (Score:1, Insightful)
We had a guy like you who got "laid-off". It was funny watching put all that shit in a box with a security guard hovering over him. He kept saying things to himself like "Oh my Pokemon poster", as if that entitled him to a job or something. Pretty pathetic.
Re:I am the weird co-worker (Score:2)
Or, if it's a graphic design studio, EVERYONE has a desk full of toys.
Except me, I'm the weird one by not only having no toys, but generally nothing but the essentials in my cube. Monitors, mouse, keyboard, phone, coffee mug, iPod, notepad, and that's it.
you sound like an obnoxious attention whore (Score:2, Insightful)
Guys at tech jobs that think that they are weird are usually the biggest squares in the whole company. Typically they "act out" at work because it's the only place where they have an audience.
Most of us grow out of "freaking out the normal people" by age 19 or so.
Re:you sound like an obnoxious attention whore (Score:1)
I hope I never work with/for you - I would make it my cause in life to make your's hell. Now go away and pick on some freshmen.
Re:you sound like an obnoxious attention whore (Score:1)
Re:you sound like an obnoxious attention whore (Score:1)
Re:I am the weird co-worker (Score:1)
"important role" (Score:2)
don't knock the office weirdo ... we have an important role to play in office dynamics.
You mean like making the rest of us glad that we can get attention for our good qualities? ;)
Harlequin Romamce (Score:5, Interesting)
One editor (male) at the company would stop at least once each day, stomp around his desk, and mutter "KILL! KILL! KILL!"
Another woman, even more scary, was heard to say at lunch one day "If I ever had boy children I would have to malnourish them so that they would be smaller and weaker than my girl children".
Think for a moment how many millions of women are reading three, four, or five of these books every week...
Re:Harlequin Romamce (Score:1)
Maybe he's just singing Alice's Restaurant [arlo.net]....
Ergonomic keyboard (Score:5, Funny)
He presents the computer to the new guy. The new guy says he doesn't want the mouse and keyboard "I'll bring my own ergonomic keyboard and trackball in from home." he says. So he comes back with a big old dirty microsoft ergonomic keyboard, the kind that has the keyboard split in half with a hump in the middle. And he also bring a fancy logitech trackball.
We think nothing of it really. He's just an anal guy. But then I look over into his cube one day to see the most hilarious thing ever.
The dude types via hunt and peck. I don't think that ergonomic keyboard makes a difference when you only use two fingers bub!
Re:Ergonomic keyboard is a must have for me (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Ergonomic keyboard is a must have for me (Score:2)
My speed using Dvorak is the same as my pre-switch QWERTY speed -- I'd hoped it would be higher, but perhaps because characte
OT: Dvorak (Score:2)
Oh, and reserve about two weeks for a reasonable speed.
.
Re:Ergonomic keyboard is a must have for me (Score:1)
Re:Ergonomic keyboard is a must have for me (Score:3, Insightful)
Most of my friends can do the same.
It's not hard as long as you can remember what keys your random fingers are resting on.
Re:Ergonomic keyboard is a must have for me (Score:1)
Interesting that there's no mention of % of accuracy. I bet bashing the keyboard with my forehead could yield me at least 200 wpm at 2% or 3% accuracy.
But I find 130 wpm hunting and pecking impressive to the point of disbelief. I type on the homerow and have to concentrate to do 130.
Re:Ergonomic keyboard is a must have for me (Score:2)
I took typing in High School (all of 2 years ago) and the teacher was amazed that I could do it.
I finished the assignments in a few minutes and played Starcraft for the rest of the class.
Re:Ergonomic keyboard is a must have for me (Score:2)
Re:Ergonomic keyboard is a must have for me (Score:2)
Until somebody used a boot disk, of course.
It's funny, I'm applying for a job to keep kids from doing what I did in the same school.
Re:Ergonomic keyboard is a must have for me (Score:1)
On a similar note, the computers at my school will not allow you to save a program from the Internet, but you can say "open" at the download dialog. I run Putty this way almost every day to log into my Linux box and play nethack or check email :-)
The moral is, no matter what the admins do, somebody will get around it
Re:Ergonomic keyboard is a must have for me (Score:2)
er.. (Score:5, Insightful)
Everyone reading your post is that guy.
Angry Bald Virgin (Score:1)
Re:Angry Bald Virgin (Score:1)
Talk about weird coworkers... (Score:5, Funny)
I don't want to be mean, but she's just.. quirky. I can't imagine she gets much work done. Her typing skills are horrendous, she clearly doesn't have a clue how to refill the paper in the printer (I think she just pretends she didn't notice it was empty, and waits for someone else to come along), and sometimes I see her just sleeping, or sitting there by the computer doing absolutely nothing. Watching the clouds go by outside. Watching the birds. Who knows.
I don't want to give the impression that she's utterly silent. No, sometimes she can be talkative, even loud, but it's like gibberish to me. Maybe I only understand techie talk nowadays, but from the looks on other people's faces, I get the feeling no one else is following her either.
She's actually kind of cute in a way, but she's startlingly hairy in ways most women simply are NOT (I'm SURE she doesn't shave, anywhere), and she can somehow be simultaeously very affectionate, but still a bitch. Her breath is, well, not pleasant, and I think I know why -- I've seen her peering interestly at food other people have *thrown out*, yes, in the trash, and I swear one I saw her munching happily on what looked to me like dog kibble.
Did I mention I work from home?
Re:Talk about weird coworkers... (Score:2)
Re:Talk about weird coworkers... (Score:2)
Re:Talk about weird coworkers... (Score:2)
CLAP CLAP CLAP
Why is it every time I read something great like this, I have no mod points?
Re:Talk about weird coworkers... (Score:2)
You had me hook, line and sinker picturing some flaky granola-type in my head.
annoying habits? (Score:4, Informative)
Hilarious stuff on there.
-bZj
Re:stinky years old snickers, no socks (Score:1, Funny)
Or did you mean "sneakers"?
Odd crapping habits (Score:3)
We've all silently agreed that the one farther away is to be used if you need to take a crap, partially for privacy (since nobody walks farther to go to the bathroom, that'd be stupid), and partly for courtesy to fellow employees.
This one guy, thinks it's hilarious to occupy the close bathroom and take a giant dump every day, and totally stinks up the whole bathroom, while the rest of us have very little time to even make a quick visit to the restroom, he has to make it nearly unbearable to do so.. Resulting in a a breakdown of the system, and making people run clear down the hall to the larger bathroom just to avoid the horrible smell.
So the other day this guy was whining about the paper piled up on the printer, so I told him to sort it, and he called me a primadonna.... Stupid cow-orkers.
Re:Odd crapping habits (Score:1)
1. Every morning (or whenever the cleaners come) take the toilet paper from small bathroom to large bathroom;
2. Take no longer needed print outs and place them in small bathroom (optional)
I assume he'd assume that there would always be toilet paper in the small bathroom. This'd probably only work once at best though.
Re:Odd crapping habits (Score:1)
You need a box of matches - works real good on clearing the air...
Pyramid o' cans (Score:1)
The guy who sits next to me (of course a caffeine junky) enjoys building soda can pyramids on his desk. He's recently been getting better at building higher and higher pyramids, but the other folks around me find it increasingly funny when the pyramid finally comes tumbling down
The best part is when he begins a new pyramid, he always starts with a loud sigh
Re:Pyramid o' cans (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:Pyramid o' cans (Score:2)
And that picture is over a year and a half old. The 3D pyramid is now at least 60 cans big at the base. (That's 31.)
at Real? (Score:1)
I remember quite a few folks there who seemed to spend more time on their can pyramids than work.
Re:Pyramid o' cans (Score:1)
Taking pictures with his Treo... (Score:2)
ARRRGH!
The office...chef? (Score:5, Funny)
Fortunately, he always brought stuff back. And the panini's were excellent. So all was good
big words (Score:1)
Pinned up Socks (Score:4, Funny)
Universities seem to foster strange behaviour. Once got sent around to see a lecturer in another department to negotiate use of his photometer microscope. My supervisor warned me before I went that he was 'a little ecentric', but even so I though I did rather well to keep a straight face when I found him in full boy scout uniform.
The golden rule of 'that guy' (Score:2, Redundant)
YOU'RE that guy.
All of the above is NOTHING! (Score:2, Funny)
"Please do not smear fecal matter on restroom walls."
An Office Full of Nuts (Score:5, Funny)
Re:An Office Full of Nuts (Score:1)
Re:An Office Full of Nuts (Score:3, Funny)
SouthPark (Score:3, Funny)
There's a guy in my office... (Score:2)
I'm not sure, but I think the guy who shares an office with me think
PHB (Score:2, Funny)
Another Stupid/Weird Coworker's site (Score:2, Informative)