How to Leave a Job on Good Terms? 755
An anonymous reader writes "I've been working for a small development company for 6 or 7 years. My boss has always been a bit nuts but overall it hasn't been a bad experience. I recently accepted a great job offer for a technology position in a different industry. I gave my boss my notice this week, and while he initially was understanding, he has since starting making accusations of conspiracy, deceit, and has otherwise attempted to make me look bad in front of employees and long-time clients. (who, thankfully, also think he is nuts) I don't like to burn bridges, but I'm pretty sure he's already burned it to the ground, even threatening to withhold my final paycheck if I don't find a replacement before I leave. Is it worth sticking out the few weeks I already told him I worked, or should I just cut my losses and leave early?"
easy (Score:3, Funny)
Then I'd give him another good kick in the ribs to grow on.
Re:Don't publically call your boss 'nuts' (Score:5, Funny)
Whoops.
Get a Firearm (Score:1, Funny)
Use Google! (Score:5, Funny)
And Now, my two cents... (Score:3, Funny)
Buy him some grapes
Re:And now: My two cents... (Score:5, Funny)
Fuck that.
Next time he gives you some lip, you make your move. Prepare your revenge by eating nothing but Taco Bell, bran muffins, and cheap whiskey for the next three days. Then you wait until you're in the next board meeting and someone asks if there are any comments. Jump up on the table and say "Yeah! I got a comment!" Then you whip your cock out and smack him in the face with it. He'll freeze out of shock, and while he's standing there bugeyed 'cause he's just been cockslapped you whirl around and go all Tubgirl on him! With any luck he'll slip in the poo and fall down, and finding himself face down in a steaming puddle of whiskey-poo he'll most likely hurl like a 90-pound freshman cheerleader at her first frat kegger. The combined smell of poo and hurl should cause a chain reaction around the boadroom as the entire staff voids their stomachs and bowels in a cataclysmic emetic eruption of Biblical proportions. While everyone's flailing around in a growing lake of filth, you slip out the side window.
As the coup de grace, you run to his house and tell his wife he's been busted for child pornography. She'll run screaming to her mother, which will leave you unfettered in his home. Get his daughter *and* the dog pregnant, burn down the house, and create a huge upside-down pentagram on his front lawn in weed killer.
"Just walk out?"
Feh.
That's not the kind of talk that got us through Guadalcanal, you know?
Re:And now: My two cents... (Score:5, Funny)
The parent post was childish, offensive, and disgusting.
Mod parent UP, baby!!! Yeah!!!
*Ahem* - you're on tape (Score:4, Funny)
Set the tape player on your desk out in the open and just leave it there. Next time someone comes in and says something totally nasty (ie, not paying the last paycheck, or bad-mouthing you, or whatever) just point to the recorder and say "that's on." It doesn't have to be on, but if you manage to time it right even better.
Amazing piece of attitude adjustment, someone knowing that whatever they say or do is on tape.
I once walked into the county court records office once and as the worker-bee walked up (I think I interrupted her game of Solitare on her computer, she didn't look happy) I popped a flash camera up and snapped off a picture. When she asked what that was all about, I explained that I was going to send her picture to the Mayor describing how helpful she had been. And she was very helpful, go figure.
Re:And now: My two cents... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:And now: My two cents... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Solicitor's advice , not slashdot's! (Score:3, Funny)
Is Solicitor what you UK chaps call a Lawyer? If so, I just found a whole new use for my No Soliciting sign! [iswiki.com]
Re:And now: My two cents... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:And now: My two cents... (Score:5, Funny)
With a little luck, they will kill each other.
Other choices:
- Really Smelly Homeless Guy
- Seriously, Seriously Flaming Gay Guy (best if boss is a homophobe)
- One of those guys who is SUPER nice, but a TOTAL fuck-up (they are very hard to fire)
Use your imagination.
Re:My two cents... (Score:5, Funny)
Hell, in Texas you can probably shoot his ass for pulling shit like that.
Re:And now: My two cents... (Score:4, Funny)
So you can either "bend over and take it like a man", or stand up for your rights.
OT: fingers (Score:5, Funny)
Try as I might, I can get at most three fingers pointing back at me. Am I doing it wrong?
Re:OT: fingers (Score:4, Funny)
Sheesh. Just because I used to teach Algebra, people seem to think I can count.
Re:And now: My two cents... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:And now: My two cents... (Score:5, Funny)
>Remind me to never piss you off.
Nah. Just don't piss off Chunk from The Goonies. I knew it sounded familiar:
But the worst thing I ever done -- I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -- and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
MP3 Version [reelwavs.com]
Re:My two cents... (Score:4, Funny)
In the State of Texas, you get SHOT for withholding paychecks!
Re:And now: My two cents... (Score:3, Funny)
Hmm, I think life just got a little more dangerous...
Animal Cruelty (Score:4, Funny)
In the UK, if you shot someone's mule to settle a score, the RSPCA would find out and you'd likely get sent to prison.
Anyway, I thought they all had tractors in Texas nowadays, what with all that oil.
Re:I do not think it means what you think it means (Score:2, Funny)
Oh, man. Wait till Satan hears about this one! He's gonna be PISSED.
Re:My two cents... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:OT: fingers (Score:3, Funny)
Obviously you are not using both hands. And everyone knows that if you are going to do it, you need to use both hands, or the result is simply less than spectacular.
anyways.
honesty (Score:3, Funny)
Something like: "You know, fellow co-workers, I like most of you and have enjoyed working with you. Except you (points), you're an idiot, and you (points again) you're a douchebag. I have been offered an extra twenty thousand dollars a year to work in an environment that is less fun, and I'm going to take it. Good luck figuring out what all those little scripts in my ~/bin directory do. If you can't figure it out, feel free to give me a call. Except you (points.)"
You'll still be on good terms with anybody who matters.