How Would You Improve SQL?

theodp asks: "It was the best of languages, it was the worst of languages. SQL's handy, but it can also drive you nuts. For example, if you want all 100 columns from a table, 'SELECT *' works quite nicely. However, if you want all but 1 of the 100 columns, be prepared to spell out 99 column names. Wouldn't it not make sense to provide a Google-like shorthand notation like 'SELECT * -ColumnName' (or DROP=syntax like SAS)? So how would you improve SQL?"

No poetry

[Fred_A]

You can't write poetry in SQL. So it remains an inferior language compared to Perl.

(yes, well, I ran out of ideas)

Re:ugh...

[lscoughlin]

That's cute.

Now start inserting and updating.

maybe joining.

yeah -- sql is stupid, sure. But you're proposal here really isn't any brighter.

mind reader

[chochos]

SELECT * FROM whatever the hell my customers have in mind

Is this a test?

[planetjay]

USE Database;
SELECT * FROM table WHERE column !="99";

Did I get the job? Or for that matter DID YOU?

Re:Native Queries / DLING

[Tablizer]

SQL is not object-oriented, it's use is usually neither typesafe nor compile-time checked

This sounds like the fuel for a massive OO-vs-Relational and/or Dynamic-vs-Static typing holy war geek battle. Been in them and seen them rage for 1000+ messages. Batten down the hatches and hide the women and children.
           

Re:No poetry

[plover]

SELECT * FROM roses, violets WHERE roses.color = 'red' AND violets.color = 'blue'

--- -- ----
All my base
are belong to you.

2 row(s) returned.

Re:No poetry

[mccoma]

roses are red
violets are blue
you just did a Cartesian Product
your DBA will be talking to you

thank you, thank you, shows at 7 and 10, remember to tip the waitstaff

Re:No poetry

[Spock the Vulcan]

It is theoretically impossible to get the results you listed with that SQL query.

Re:No poetry

[plover]

It is theoretically impossible to get the results you listed with that SQL query.

And it's also theoretically impossible to get this far in life without a sense of humor.

I guess we were both wrong.