Computer Jobs -- How to Resign Professionally? 1080
MikeDawg asks: "I submitted a letter of resignation yesterday, and today I'm at home posting stories to my weblog and Slashdot. I gave my employer two weeks notice, and almost immediately, I had my accounts disabled, and my permissions revoked on all the computers at my work, which makes me unable to do anything in my position of being a 'Systems Analyst/Systems Administrator'. I spoke with the HR rep, and gave her my notice yesterday, then I spoke with her today about what had happened to my access, and they honored my resignation... 2 weeks early. (Luckily, I'm compensated in pay for the next two weeks). What I want to know is, how do you computer and IT professionals out there put in your notice of resignation (if you are with a permanent employer, and not contractual), and not get immediately shutdown, and shunned away from the computers? The CIO immediately thought I was going to do something terrible to the system, and destroy accounts, and any other activity that I have access to, but I was giving him notice that I was leaving. What is the professional thing to do?"
obviously... (Score:2, Funny)
Well, you did well, but broke the golden rule... (Score:3, Funny)
My way is fun... (Score:5, Funny)
Of course mine was just my review, but it sort of acted like a resignation letter.
Strengths: Over the last six months I have had the opportunity to learn how to smile when given projects that offer no challenge at all. Furthermore I can now hide my disdain for co-workers that have more in common with parasitic worms than with human beings. I've also grown to recognize the importance of recognition via comparison. For instance, I recognize that our environment here at (insert company name here) is really wonderful compared to other companies - the same way Syphilis is a great improvement over A.I.D.S.. Then there is the multitude of tasks that I can do with my eyes closed. It's truly a wonder how many mundane tasks I can accomplish with no effort at all. And lastly there is my recent discovery of how to divide by zero.
Weaknesses: Sometimes, I have trouble accepting that I actually am flawless.
Re:What did you expect? (Score:2, Funny)
Show up every day, talk cheerfully to all the people who still have to give it their all, be obnoxiously upbeat.
They'll double your severance if you agree to leave the building PDQ. Just stay there while they cut you the check.
I've got one friend who did that and was paid to stay home for 2 months, we was so demoralizing to the "survivors".
What you should have done... (Score:5, Funny)
Sean
BRILLIANT (Score:1, Funny)
Step 2: Work diligently until given access to critical systems
Step 3: Start acting suspiciously//unhappy w/ management
Step 4: Give your resignation... ONE YEAR early!
Step 5: Take 6 Month Vacation
Step 6: Spend 6 Months looking for your next $sys$target employer.
Re:What did you expect? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Sounds like you did the right thing (Score:2, Funny)
What is the professional thing to do?
I assume by that comment, you are asking what is the professional thing to do now? We'll... since you likely got screwed out of telling your co-workers goodbye, send them a note to schedule a happy hour at a bar.
Re:What did you expect? (Score:5, Funny)
I resigned almost two weeks ago and still have two weeks left before my four week notice period is up.
I will continue to do my job cabably until the very end and won't be doing anything malicious, it is our corporate culture that people (even those in powerful/trusted positions) work to the very end of their contract.
I'm surprised how well the boss took me writing "I resign" on the whiteboard though.
The best way to quit IMO: (Score:5, Funny)
In the corporate world you often get reviewed for your performance. The meetings are uncomfortable affairs where your manager goes down a checklist of things that 'could use improvement'. On Quit Your Job Day, you'll be calling a review meeting of your own. Create a list of things the company needs improvement in. Watch your manager squirm as you point out bad health benefits, impenetrable paperwork, inhuman working environments and other OSHA related problems. At the end of your review look your manager straight in the eye and ask 'What would you do if you were me?', pause and then announce 'I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go.'
More ways to quit at:
http://www.quityourjobday.com/ [quityourjobday.com]
Grand Stand! The Professional Way! (Score:2, Funny)
You are fed up. You want to resign. You write a resignation letter and give your boss 2 weeks notice.
Next morning, you found out, all of your access to system is provoked. Your security card to the front door doesn't even work anymore. Security guard watches you with the corner of his eyes constantly. You sweat. You walk over to HR and ask. HR honored your 2 weeks notice 2 weeks early. Now you go home and get paid for 2 weeks vacation.
[Worse]-----
You are fed up. You want to resign. You write a resignation letter and give your boss a finger.
Next morning, you find out, all of your access to system is provoked. Your security card signals the alarm. Security Guard draws pepper spray. You panic. You scream and run away like a little girl. You are home and waiting for UI to come.
[Worst]-----
You are fed up. You want to resign. You write a resignation letter and mail it to your boss's house via USPS with 35 cents stamp.
Next morning, nothing is changed. You walk into your boss's office, demand higher salary and a chance to sleep with his wife. Your boss is not happy. Matter of fact, he is fuming. You smile and say;
"You Biatch~! You just been PUNK'D! I QUIT!" You laugh sarcastically and walk away from your (ex)boss.
Now you are home without UI. You submit question on Slashdot.
Grand Stand! The Professional Way!
Re:What did you expect? (Score:2, Funny)
Thank you for the lovely fruit basket in my signing bonus last week. I would like to take this opportunity to notify you that I will be resigning from the company on Dec 7, 2025.
Sincerely,
You Devoted Soon-To-Be-Former-Employee
p.s. Don't forget my pension when you draw up the severance papers.
Just drop off the key's, Lee... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Australia isn't First World? (Score:5, Funny)
He said South Australia. It's different down there, and a little scary. They've named their cricket team after a spider and make beer out of sewage. Their main football team wears the German flag for a jumper, and the state capital was designed by an obsessive-compulsive.
They do brew one some of the best mass-production beers in the country (Coopers), but if you're ever invited to a keg party in a small SA town, run like hell.
Ob Simpson's Quote (Score:5, Funny)
Marge: The plant called and said if you don't come in on Friday, don't bother coming in on Monday.
Homer: WooHoo! Four day weekend!
I'm a little more forward (Score:3, Funny)
huh? (Score:3, Funny)
What the hell world do you live in? I'd like to emigrate.
Re:Australia isn't First World? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:The best way to quit IMO: (Score:2, Funny)
- I only had two lists, and
- they weren't on the good one
My new job is on my good list.Re:What did you expect? (Score:2, Funny)
You left out: pouring bleach on their chair and torching the office so as to remove all traces of their odious stain upon the soul of your company, YOU SLACKER!
Re:What did you expect? (Score:1, Funny)
"I stole something."
"Yeah, guess we all did."
"No, I stole something else. Call it a going away present."
Cue Geto Boys Music
Re:What did you expect? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:What did you expect? (Score:5, Funny)
A former place of employment was so bad, that when I was leaving on poor terms, I was asked (by the head of HR) for "all the passwords I knew". I had to explain that if I told them to him, I'd still know them and could use them. He was shocked when I informed him that his IS staff would have to figure out how to change a hundred passwords.
It was a great place to leave.
Re:What did you expect? (Score:2, Funny)
More likely they'd spent that time surfing the web and chatting to people.
Re:My way is fun... (Score:3, Funny)
---SNIP---
Being sound of mind, I Tender my Eventual resignation from kingston communications. My Years of Service Here Inevitably Need to Yield to a Marked End. The Achievements of my time here have Left me with Assorted Specialised Skills which will endeavour to help me in my future career.
I hereby give notice of my resignation from Today.
---SNIP---
As expected, the inept management didn't figure out the hidden message.
I Then Proceed to go to the XMAS Party. I got very drunk, Shook the CEO's had and said "I've learnt a lot working here." and asked him to kiss the inflatable sheep I stole from the bar.
Now, That's a Professional Resignation.
I still havn't been Frog Marched from the building! Despite several idle threats to compromise the security of the ISP I am working for.
Re:What did you expect? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What did you expect? (Score:3, Funny)
I think they've gone through three more people since then, although none of them have quit the company; we're a great company, it's just a particularly sucky position.
The first guy's wife still works here. I'm told they offered her the position, and she started laughing.
Re:Just drop off the key's, Lee... (Score:3, Funny)
So don't let it become apparent.
Make sure that you have several binders full of documentation sitting on your desk and explain that it outlines in detail exactly how to manage all of the systems that you are responsible for. Also make sure that it is at least a year out of date, contains a minimum of three documents describing each procedure in completely different ways, and has a convenient typo in one critical procedure which will cause complete chaos if followed to the letter.
If anyone asks what will happen to the company if you have to leave just point to the binders in your "Disaster Plan" and tell them not to worry. If you like the people you work with, or want to take an actual vacation at any time, then prepare a small folder with useful directions on how to handle things while you are gone. Keep this one at home and don't ever let a copy leak onto a company owned computer.
Should you ever be fired without good cause you will have the warm inner glow that can only come from knowing that the idiots who did it are left wallowing in the mess that they created. If they try to come after you complaining about acts of sabotage, explain that you tried to produce updated documentation and offered to train your replacement but they were in too much of a hurry to get you out of the building to let you do it.
After all, everything was working fine when you left. It's not your fault that they brought in someone new who made a mess of everything.