What's the Coolest Thing You've Ever Built?

Josh Lindenmuth asks: "In high school I was involved in an engineering competition where we needed to create a machine that could move 100 lbs of groceries from a disabled person's car up and down a set of stairs, and then into their kitchen. It was probably the coolest thing I ever built (there were only 3 of us on the team), even though the wooden treads started splintering halfway up the stairs (we didn't have a metal shop, so it was made entirely out of wood, spare boat parts, and conveyor belts) and then it completely destroyed the stairs on its way down (it weighed over 300 lbs)." That's Josh's story, now he wants to know yours. Cool computers, cars, hovercraft, handheld devices, fusion reactors — what is the most interesting gadget, product, or device that you've ever built on your own?

My Son

[Anonymous Coward]

Period!

I gots you all beat

[Quiet_Desperation]

I built a reality simulator. You're living in it right now. Neat, huh?!

That one time

[pap3rw8]

There was that one time I built a machine that could propel cats to the moon. It almost worked, too.

Mine

[iamdrscience]

One time I made a "Jump to Conclusions" mat. You see, it was this mat that you would put on the floor... and had different conclusions written on it that you could jump to.

Re:I hate to (have to) ask...

[setirw]

I think many /. readers weigh >300lbs, period.

Re:I hate to (have to) ask...

[Anonymous Coward]

Feet tend to distribute wait in a nice, convenient way. That, added to the fact that muscles allow us to slowly descend our feet to contact the step. A 300lbs robot composed of wood, probably does not have this feature. Plus, wood is much harder than flesh (duh). Get a 300lbs pirate with wooden pegs for legs and watch him fuck up your stairs in a few weeks.

Re:My Son

[Anonymous Coward]

Mod parent up! HA HA! Really! Parent! Oh, pinch me!

Re:My Son

[Fulkkari]

Built? If you are the average Slashdotter, you merely did half of the design.

Although...

Getting that far can be already be seen as a great accomplishment over here. :-)

Re:PVC pipe.

[Anonymous Coward]

I once stuck my dick in 2.5" drainage pipe as an improvised version of your wife's pussy.

Cool!

[jrobinson5]

Where can I sign up to order one of these 300 pound pirates with peg legs?

* ft tall water balloon slingshot

[Registered Coward v2]

We were the terror of Fraternity Row. It used steal pipe and multiple pieces of chem hose - after a little practice we could lob a water balloon through an open window hundreds of feet away.

Re:My Son

[Anonymous Coward]

If they are the avarage slashdoter, i think they did more then half, like all of it. Its no secret that its hard for us to find a partner to perform this activity, so, some rare slashdoters must have evolved to a point where they can do all the work themselfs. This is proof of evolution in action.

My Son My Period.

[Anonymous Coward]

You built a period into your son? How freudian of you. I hate to see what you put into your daughter.

Re:I hate to (have to) ask...

[Chris Burke]

I don't know, but I'm thinking he'd view his project as much more of a success if he simply re-defined it. Machine for carrying groceries up stairs? No! Automatic Staircase Destroyer? Hell yes!

Re:A monolith

[l810c]

My senior year at high school, we were supposed to build a float for the high school parade. Instead, we built a 10 foot high paper mache penis and placed it on top of the school right over the principal's office.

Re:That one time

[ArsonSmith]

Is that why I found a dead cat in my back yard yesterday?

Built, but never tested

[svunt]

I once built a super-sweet ride, but I never got to really enjoy it, as it's prohibitively difficult to generate 1.8 jiggawatts of power.

My best - the Abtaser (and my other IP flops, too)

[transporter_ii]

Been working on a list of my biggest inventions and intellectual property items that flopped in a big, big way. My coolest inventions and IP flops are:

• My book, "Men Are From Mars, and Women Love Martian Penis," failed to crack the NY Times Best Seller list for five consecutive years after publication.

• NBC cancelled my sitcom, "Nudist, With Children," before a single episode was aired.

• My idea for non-decomposing toilet paper never made it to market.

• While at first very successful, my tubs of chocolate-chip cookie-dough flavored roach poison, designed to fool even the most intelligent roaches, were pulled from shelves nationwide. While a federal judge initially upheld an injunction on the recall, the injunction was later overturned by a law created in a special session of Congress (the law was named Kimberly's law, in honor of the memory of the two-year-old baby Kimberly).

But my all time coolest thing I have built, and my biggest tech flop, is one I called an abtaser:

Abtaser [thearmedcitizen.com]

Because of their small size, AbTasers can fit easily in your purse, bag, backpack, coat etc. Other Ab products, like Ab belts, are bulky and only work your Abs. The AbTaser's design lets you not only work other parts of the body, but you can work other people's Abs from up to 15 feet away!

Conveniently carry it with you whenever traveling around town, shopping leaving bars or night clubs, using pay phones, parking lots, garages, alleys, subways, bus stations, home alone, walking, jogging, running errands, deliveries, and for house wives, students, daughters, night workers, drivers, law enforcers, sales people, travelers, security guards, etc., and for anyone needing or wanting extra exercise.

Other low-power Ab products have to be used for an extended period of time. The high-powered AbTaser works every muscle in your body in a split second. And again, not only is it capable of working your abs, but you can also work the muscles of others up to 15 feet away. Imagine your bosses surprise when you decide he needs a little exercise! AbTasers are great for relieving stress, too. Feeling down, feeling blue? AbTasers will give you a new outlook on life!

*Check federal, state and local laws before ordering your AbTaser! Do NOT carry your AbTaser concealed. Do not attempt to use the AbTaser while operating a motor vehicle. Do not use the AbTaser on someone else operating a motor vehicle. Do not attempt to board aircraft while in the possession of an AbTaser.

Re:I gots you all beat

[hotdiggitydawg]

No, it sux bigtime. The plot moves at a glacial pace. Why do you think we're always trying to escape it?

Re:My Son

[waterford0069]

At worst you provided half the design.

At best you provided half the design, the manufacturing space, the materials distribution chain, and the delivery system. Your son did the rest him self (which when you think about it is rather resourceful of him).

However, this being Slashdot - I'd bet on the former over the latter.

Re:Biodiesel Reactor

[Anonymous Coward]

We also had a $500 budget which we exceeded by $4500, the project was paid for by a department...

have you considered a rewarding and successful career with the United States Government?

Dude ... the joke's on you.

[Savage-Rabbit]

I built a reality simulator. You're living in it right now. Neat, huh?!

Your self are living in one of my own collection of home built reality simulators. I'll give you credit for being the only one of my simulated worlds to develop a reality simulator inside your simulation.

Greetings,
Your Lord and Creator.

P.S. If you think that's strange you should see the 4D Holo-presentation I got the other day attatched to a subspace mail message. It's from a giant lizard like creature who claims that I am living on a planet in a miniature universe he carries in a little marble on his keychain....

Re:My Son

[cripkd]

well, i was gonna say if 2 twins count as building something cool :) So, now i'm asking if I can say i built one kid, if i can take credit for half of 2 kids?

Re:My Son

[hotdiggitydawg]

Actually, as a theoretical worst-case he may have not even been the one who "put in the successful tender", and just been stuck with the rather lengthy maintenance contract.

Re:My Son

[ettlz]

Actually, isn't the process a bit like building^Winstalling Gentoo?

Re:My Son My Period.

[Anonymous Coward]

I hate to see what you put into your daughter.

Mmmmmm incest.

Re:Mine

[zerojoker]

That's the worst idea I've ever heared of. Yes, this idea is horrible!

Re:I hate to (have to) ask...

[dapsychous]

You work for Microsoft, don't you?

Re:I hate to (have to) ask...

[Anonymous Coward]

I think many /. readers weigh >300lbs, period.

And how many /. readers get periods?

Re:I hate to (have to) ask...

[hotdiggitydawg]

You missed the major factor - contact surface area. If you've got a polished wood floor, a 120lb woman can very easily damage it in high heels if the surface area of the heel is small. I imagine a 300lb geek dressed as a pirate in high heels would go right through to his parent's basement.

Re:I hate to (have to) ask...

[ATMD]

Awesome!

What a timesaver!

Re:A monolith

[Anonymous Coward]

The only way you get any geek points out of a 9 foot monolith, is if it was 4 foot wide and 1 foot deep.

Oh, and it was full of stars.

I win

[jbrader]

Back in high school I made a really huge bong out of 1 liter soda bottles and aquarium tubing.

Re:My Son

[quigonn]

That's right. Both take about 9 months to complete.

Smoke screen on my car.

[jaided]

In the summer of 1988 my two biggest hobbies were Radio-control airplanes and modifying my 1969 Firebird.

I was interested in putting a skywriting system on one of my RC airplanes. The kits were expensive so I looked into the methods used by the old-timers on real airplanes. A common DIY method back in the day was to pump a 50/50 mixture of diesel and transmission fluid right into the engines exhaust headers. My first thought was "Forget the airplane, this would work on my car!" I ran down to the hardware store and bought some brake lines(metal tubes threaded on the end), fuel hose, 1-gal Gas can, etc. Then I ran to the wrecking yard and pulled the first electric fuel pump I found. The whole project was easily under $20 at the time.

I drilled holes in all 8 exhaust headers of my Firebird as close as I could to the manifold and tapped them so I could thread in the brake-lines. I ran them all back to the electric fuel pump, which then lead to the gas can. I filled the gas can up faithfully following the 50:50 Diesel/Tranny-fluid mix and set out to test it on some abandoned logging roads.

On the drive there I was thinking about what I might need change to improve it. Would the fuel pump be enough? Will I need to slightly constrict the shorter hoses so the mixture reaches all the headers simultaneously? Will I need to adjust the mixture?
The first test worked so ridiculously well that I never bothered optimizing anything. Thick, white smoke filled up both lanes of the access-road nearly to the tops of the trees. I had to wait several minutes for the smoke to clear before I could drive back through it..

I used it responsibly for the most part (if that's even possible) but you just can't have something like that when you're in High school. I remember one friend borrowing my car at lunch and completely shutting down traffic for about 10 min. on the highway in front of our High-school. Another time I was at the movie theater parking lot and a crowd of "popular kids" from school begged to see it. I revved the engine and fired off a "small puff" while parked. Two police cars showed up when the saw the 300' "mushroom cloud" over the theater and I had to convince them that the rings were going bad but the car only smoked "sometimes." Yet another time a "friend" hit the switch when I wasn't looking at a stop light in downtown Portland. I looked back to see what all the honking is about and I see no cars, no buildings, just a while cloud. The rest of that story is a calamity that I don't care to elaborate on. I will say that nobody was hurt, though.

I dismantled it after that and never made another. The fun/stress ratio wasn't even close to being worth it.

Reminds me of a joke

[kbielefe]

Maybe when DNA research advances, you can actually build your child.

That reminds me of a joke:

A scientist goes to God and says, "We don't need you anymore. I can create a human from nothing more than a handful of dust."

"Alright then, let's see," God replies.

"No problem," says the scientist, and he bends over to scoop up some dust.

"Hold on," God interrupts. "Get your own dust."

spoon

[DuctTape]

I built a reality simulator. You're living in it right now. Neat, huh?!

Okay, my big question is where is this "spoon" thing I keep hearing about?

DT

Re:That one time

[Savage-Rabbit]

Is that why I found a dead cat in my back yard yesterday?

That depends.... Was it wearing an astronaut's suit?

Re:Tunneling Scanning Electron Microscope

[Dr. Smeegee]

If you damned kids would get off your asses and start doing something besides playing video games then we wouldn't be loosing our jobs to the danged Chinese!

Re:Cool!

[TommydCat]

Ye kin orrrrder a schwabby from "Pirates RRRRRRRRRRR Us", of courrrrse!

Re:My Son

[Paradise Pete]

My Son Period

With a name like that he's in for nothing but grief.

Re:Not so...

[Ashtead]

If slashdotters don't have parents, whose basement do they live in then?

Re:An airplane. Still working on it...

[JourneyExpertApe]

2007 should be the year...

I'd hold off on having your tombstone inscribed just yet. You might not finish the plane until 2008.

Re:Reminds me of a joke

[Sj0]

Don't get out much, eh?

Re:Biodiesel Reactor

[Alchemar]

but the project was completed on time, that would never be acceptable in the fast passed world of government funding. They would be able to see if it works before paying the bill.