How Would You Deal With A Global Bandwidth Crisis? 478
lopy writes "First Google claimed the internet infrastructure won't scale to provide an acceptable user experience for online video. Then some networking experts predict that a flu pandemic would bring the internet to it's knees and lead to internet rationing. We used to think that bandwidth would always increase as needed, but what would happen if that isn't the case? How would you deal with a global bandwidth shortage? Would you be willing to voluntarily limit your internet usage if necessary? Could you live in a world without cheap and plentiful broadband internet access?"
How would I deal with it? (Score:5, Funny)
This is America. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:How would I deal with it? (Score:2, Funny)
And I'd have to stop downloading porn. Oh, the humanity!
United States (Score:5, Funny)
I Live in the United States you insensitive clod!
Well, that's simple... (Score:2, Funny)
Stockpile! (Score:5, Funny)
How Would You Deal With A Global Bandwidth Crisis?
I'd stockpile porn and make a killing selling DVDs to all the geeks in the neighbourhood suffering from withdrawal..
Texting (Score:3, Funny)
I'd tell Al Gore.... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:How would I deal with it? (Score:3, Funny)
Whoops, no need. It just crashed again...
Re:How would I deal with it? (Score:4, Funny)
Then the terrorists will truly have won...
In case of avian flu pandemic (Score:2, Funny)
Re:"Global bandwidth crisis" is a crock (Score:4, Funny)
Re:"Global bandwidth crisis" is a crock (Score:5, Funny)
1. Deliver a thoughtful and witty reply in a slashdot thread.
2. Illustrate the reply with Yet Another Car Analogy.
3. Bend the car analogy into an angry, frothing rant against SUVs... or rather, against the people who drive them... or rather, against the people who can afford them.
4. ???
5. Hard-on! I mean, profit!
Never underestimate... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:"Global bandwidth crisis" is a crock (Score:3, Funny)
Obvious Solution (Score:1, Funny)
As silly as worrying about "road shortage"... (Score:5, Funny)
Seriously, are we predicting the end of human civilization because we have an infinite demand for youtube and P2P? It's a non-issue. Get any major trouble with congestion, and broadband subscribtions would simply fall back to capped bandwidth.
The article seems to ignore the fact of all-we-can-eat subscribtions. And then worries about how we're running amok with it. Duh. Because it's free, stupid.
However, to prevent the imminent destruction of humankind, I propose:
1: That damn dirty pirates only download things they're actually going to watch, instead of attempting to build a local copy of media history. (Est. bandwith savings: 60%)
2: That governments introduce makes it a felony to upload tasteless content on youtube. (Est. bandwith savings: 30%)
3: That the US declares War on Spammers and puts its military to some proper use. (Est. bandwith savings: 20%. And world peace)
Re:How would I deal with it? (Score:1, Funny)
We can charge a maintenance fee for that. Then we can start charging for untying a tube.
Then we can provide an email alert service that your tube will be tied.
Oooo, we could tie two tubes together...so they can have a private tube. Exciting!
Weeeee! This tube stuff is fun and profitable!
Re:Stockpile! (Score:1, Funny)
No, the reason why your husband has nearly a terabyte of porn is because he loves you very much. All his single mates have at least five terabytes.
Re:How would I deal with it? (Score:1, Funny)
Say what? (Score:2, Funny)