Better Communication with Non-Technical People?

tinpan asks: "I've got a communication problem. When non-technical managers ask me to explain technical choices, they often make choices I recommend against and they later regret. I can tell that they do not understand their choice because of how they are explaining things to each other, but they usually refuse further explanation. So, it's time for some education. I want to get better at communicating technical subjects to non-technical people. More accurately, I want to get better at helping non-technical people make better technical decisions and I'm willing to accept it may include some understanding of 'selling your idea.' What advice do my fellow readers have in accomplishing this? What books, online courses and/or seminars do you recommend and why?"

Start using 'good' analogies

[Beefysworld]

For talking to a non-technical minded person, the easiest way I've found to communicate with them is to put it in terms that they understand.

However, you'll need to make sure that you have a good understanding of what you're trying to express and a fair understanding of the terms you're trying to express it with. Otherwise, everything will be like a series of tubes...

retail

[Johnny Mnemonic]

Work in a retail environment, preferably on commission. In about 6 months you'll either learn how to sell ice to eskimos, or starve.

Seriously, this was the best exposure I had to the non-technical user, and I've utilized the learned salesmanship in later interviews and technical presentations. I recommend spending some time selling something to everyone.

Re:The best advice you can get....

[LionKimbro]

Right. He agrees with you. His entire paragraph is stating just what you said.

And then, the questions:

• "What advice do my fellow readers have in accomplishing this?"
• "What books, online courses and/or seminars do you recommend and why?"

So, you've begun with:

Start reading CIO magazine, read SEC reports...

and:

...try some education...

It's a start, but it's not really answering his question. Any other ideas?

Re:retail

[networkBoy]

Dude, you have no idea how low I felt.

She had 2 BK's in under 10 years.
She had $4K down (enough for the bank to approve her at shark rates).
I tried desperately to sell her a used car that she could have free and clear, I even honestly offered her my commission bonus on the car as a rebate.
She wanted that damn new car (Saturn).

Now, had I been selling Benz or Bimmer and someone wanted to bury themselves over a new car I would not have felt nearly as bad. But a Saturn is about as low as you can go without buying complete crap (Escort, KIA, Hyundai, etc.) and in my area you are screwed without a car. I pointed out to the gal that the used car she would own free and clear, have about $1K left over, the car had a 90 day/5K mi warranty, so it wasn't crap (crap don't get well... crap for warranties). She could likely drive it for about 4 years before she'd need another car, and she'd be debt free.

Seriously, the sales manager saw my face after I signed the deal over to finance and said: You don't work here anymore do you?. I replied that I had to go home and think (food on table, or some sense of shame), had no kids at the time, so jobless was I for the next few weeks.
-nB

Toastmasters

[deranged unix nut]

http://www.toastmasters.org/ [toastmasters.org]

Find your local toastmasters club and practice. Since joining toastmasters, I have had many comments from people in both my work and personal life about how much my verbal communication has improved.

Each speech will give you supportive and constructive feedback from multiple people, from multiple experience levels, and from multiple walks of life. I now find myself re-thinking how I explain quite a few technical things to others and catch myself when I am talking to non-technical people and I start to use the jargon that is so automatic among technical folks. I still pause and think about how to appropriately re-phrase what I was about to say to make it more appropriate to the people that I am talking to, but at least I am catching myself now when I used to rattle on and lose them long before I realized that they weren't getting it.

Besides, the dues are about the same as a magazine subscription. It is quite inexpensive for what you get.

Communication Skills

[VAY]

I was born with awful communication skills, and found this sort of thing very difficult. After I was diagnosed with ADD, I read a lot of material about communication and related skills and learned some soft skills, and it was very useful (as well as very interesting in a geeky kind of way - if you think computers can be interesting, the way people work will blow your mind...).

Everyone should learn how to communicate with people. Essentially, this means understanding different viewpoints, which means being able to understand how people are different. There are different communication styles even between people who are ostensibly similar, which can get in the way of clear communication. I find it very frustrating that techies cannot seem to abandon the idea that there is true and false and nothing else, from which logically follows that if you don't agree with me you are wrong. Of course, in most day-to-day situations things are way more complicated than that. Is it a fact that it is rude to ignore me for two minutes when I approach your desk to talk to you? Yes, of course, I have feelings and a hello costs nothing. No, of course not, I am only dumping the contents of my brain into my IDE so I can give you my full, undivided attention.

Understanding people's reasons for their actions and reactions, and seeing through their eyes, enables you to persuade people to do the right thing, which is good for both your employer and for you. It is not being Macheavellian, or turning into a sales weasel (as long as it is used for good :-)). It also works wonders on your personal relationships.

I would recommend Getting To Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury, about win-win negociation; I'm OK, You're OK by Thomas A. Harris, Games People Play by Eric Berne, and TA Today by Ian Stewart and Vann Joines, about Transactional Analysis; and the works of Deborah Tannen, especially Talking From 9 to 5. Look into the Myers-Briggs Type Indicators too. I would also recommend asking your company to send you on a course or two about communicating assertively and negociation skills.

Re:3 Choices

[iangoldby]

I think parent is referring to the Decoy Effect [msdn.com]. It's a bit more subtle - the article is well-worth reading.