What's the Worst Technical Feature You've Used?

kooky45 asks: "In an effort to make our lives easier and more entertaining, technology designers pack more and more features into electronic devices, but often they're more nuisance than they're worth. An earlier article on LEDs discussed some of these. Another example is my Nokia 6320i mobile phone which has a back lit screen that drains the battery life at an alarming rate. When the phone is not in use the back light is off; if the battery starts to run low, it gives me regular warnings by beeping and turning the back light on! What other examples of designer stupidity have you seen?"

beeping and turning the back light on

[Miguel de Icaza]

if you're in a noisy enviroment or listening to headphones beeping and turning the back light on is a great idea. It is better to be alerted your battery is dying, than to discover you've missed hours of important calls.

Windows Genuine Advantage

[Tatisimo]

The daily upgrades kept making the machine slower and the system was overly paranoid with too many unwanted pop ups.

Any cell phone

[JohnnyGTO]

that uses Windows CE or Palm OS to run. My wifes company keeps insisting these peices of crap will make them all more efficient. All I know is the interfaces make dialing a simple call a nightmare and who wants a phone that needs its battery pulled when it locks up?

Just last week here Verizone CE based phone continuously called me with the speaker phone on even though it was simply sitting on the cars center console! Government mandated spy feature hmmmmmm?

Re:Honda Stereo Security

[Nos.]

So, if I'm going to steal the stereo from a Honda, take the extra couple of seconds and grab the VIN while I'm there.

Digital vs. analog controls

[dreddnott]

Definitely digital controls for almost anything. I can't stand them.

If you're in your car and working the climate control, those controls are analog for a good reason. You can see what they're set to and change before you start the car. Stereo systems are another great example (quickly turning volume up/down, not having it reset all the time). Analog dials of all kinds also give you far better real-time feedback about a given signal (delta, etc.).

Re:Digital vs. analog controls

[EvanED]

Stereo systems are another great example (quickly turning volume up/down, not having it reset all the time)

Having it reset seems like a poor design decision, but it isn't an essential aspect of digital volume.

I will actually vote for digital volume controls because it means you can change the volume by remote, BUT only if they are the dial sort of volume control rather than vol up/down buttons. With a rotary encoder you get the benefits of digital (can control it in other ways besides moving the knob) with most of the benefit of analog (quick changes, better feel). About the only thing you don't get is absolute positioning, but the benefits compensate for that loss IMO.

Of course, this doesn't make much sense in a car where you're almost always next to the volume control anyway. (I say "almost" because I know when I was younger I would go on trips with my parents and I'd want to control the volume from the back seat. Instead, my parents acted as a remote control -- "turn it up" *turns it up* "thanks", "turn it down" *turns it down* "thanks" -- until they got fed up with that. Might also be able to come up with other situations auto volume control is useful.)

Keyboard Error:

[Kroc]

Press F1 to Resume...

Voicemail

[rantingkitten]

In my day (I'm in my late 20s) we had answering machines, and you know what? They were good enough. If I left the house and came home a few hours later, I could see if there was a message, and I knew it was left sometime within the past few hours. Barring a few really specific and improbable scenarios, I don't need to know the exact damn time it was left, nor do I need the other BS like mailboxes, saved messages folders, varying greetings, and all the other claptrap.

Today? If you're the caller, you have to listen to the person's personal greeting, then suffer through another 20 seconds of "At the tone, please record your message. When finished, hang up, or press the star key for more options. To page this person, press nine. To listen to your personal horoscope..." Just shut the hell up and let me leave the message so I can get on with it, please?

If you're receiving voicemail it's even worse. "You have...two...new messages and one...saved message. To listen to...new messages...press one. To listen--" One. "First...message...received...at...ten...fifty eight...AM." SHUT UP. JUST PLAY THE GORRAM MESSAGE WITHOUT THE PREAMBLE. Christ. Why the hell do I need to know the exact freaking minute someone called?

Re:It will come up sooner or later...

[rrhal]

Office 2007.

They ever so helpfully rearanged everything. "Now how do I ..."

I'm pretty sure that if they had an option to go back to the 1997 interface more than 90% of office users would select that.

Re:Digital vs. analog controls

[edbob]

I actually rather like the digital controls for the climate control in my car. My old car had a knob that I would have to turn one way for "warmer" and the opposite way for "cooler". The problem was that on longer trips it was impossible to set it properly. I would have to fiddle with it every 10 to 15 minutes. On my current car, I hardly ever even have to touch the climate control.

Re:Honda Stereo Security

[Planesdragon]

When I asked GM about the stupid design, they told me that they weren't sure if it was even technically possible to install an aftermarket deck, and that this is something that the majority of consumers want.

No, not really. The majority of consumers buy the radio as part of the car, just like any other part of the electrical system.

Re:Microwave

[u8i9o0]

I have a GE above-the-stove microwave that not only won't let you cook until you set the date and time, but you can't even use the damn light on it until it's set.

I was going to mention something similar.

There's been a few blackouts lately and each time power comes back on, the display side-scrolls some text prompting to reset the time.

I actually use the time display on the unit (and the scrolling text is distracting) so that gets done fairly quickly.

But, who the hell thought it was important for a microwave to store the date?
For one thing, it never displays the date.
For another, it has no scheduling function and, even if it did, who keeps food in the microwave for longer than half a day (worst case: defrosting a turkey) anyway?

As a user, entering "010101" completes that step in the time reset. But as a programmer and engineer, this actually bothers me.

So, on the question of "What's the Worst Technical Feature You've Used?", I guess I 'use' the date feature to complete the reset protocol. But really, the date setting never actually gets used anywhere else so ... maybe I don't?

Anyway, I'm sure I've seen worse features but I just had to mention the microwave.

Re:Digital vs. analog controls

[Vector7]

I totally agree. My pet-button-peeves:

Microwaves: I wish someone had the sense to build one with just a big knob to set the time, a small knob to set the power level (clicking to an off position if you just want to use the timer), and a big start/stop button. Put the timer on a logarithmic scale up to whatever the maximum sane length of time you might run a microwave for is (or use a continuous encoder with some acceleration programmed in the software), and read the value out on the display as you spin it.

Monitors: It'd be handy on occasion to briefly adjust the brightness on my monitor, but the digital controls on all of them I've used lately are so stifling that I rarely bother. Just one little knob controlling brightness by default, or moving the cursor when in an onscreen menu, would be a hundredfold improvement. The monitors I use everyday are like minefields - sometimes the buttons aren't even labelled, and hitting the wrong one tends to make some terrible change in monitor state that takes five or ten seconds to undo, like the picture-in-picture on the bigger Dell screens, or the bizarre "highlight mode" on my old Samsung, which can't be toggled off, but instead requires digging through menus.

Digital plus/minus buttons suck.

Print button on digital cameras

[ChePibe]

I don't think anyone else has mentioned this so I will - why on earth put a print button on the camera? While this may make sense for some cameras and some users (cheap point and shooters especially), they're now popping up on more advanced DSLRs like the Canon 30D. Who buys a $1,000 DSLR and prints directly from the camera with no post processing and not even a look at the images? Worst of all, the button can't be remapped - you're stuck with a useless button. Why, why, why?

"Operation currently prohibited by disc."

[Torodung]

Says it all.

But if you're a DVD exec, I want the buttons on my DVD player ('fast forward,' 'top menu') to work as they *should* without playing "Mother-may-I?" with the embedded OS. The menu should NEVER be restricted. That doesn't even make sense! What harm could my having instant access to your product's menu do to your bottom line?

Also, on my DVD player I can't even turn the darned thing off reliably. Is it too much to ask that a power switch be an actual -power switch- and not a "send power down signal to the OS" switch? It's not like there's a hard drive in these things. There's no need for the absurd length of time it takes for most DVD players to go from a power off *command* to a power off *state*.

Same goes for the tray eject button. Kill the motor and eject the disc already! I don't need "pretty" or "graceful," I need my disc back in less than five seconds.

Worst "feature"... Ever.

--
Toro

Re:Microwave

[Vector7]

Does a clock which automatically adjust for DST really make my life simpler? Let's see..

The clock on a "dumb" microwave doesn't understand daylight savings time, and I will have to adjust the time twice per year to correct it. A "smart" microwave will understand DST, so I won't have to correct it. Surely the "smart" device is more convenient, no?

Not so fast..

Let's say my power fails N times per year. Around here, N is probably around ten times. Every time my power fails, I have to reset the time on the microwave. On the "smart" microwave, I additionally have to re-enter the date.

In the case of the dumb microwave, I have to enter one number for each reset, or N+2 numbers per year (the +2 being the two times per year I must adjust for DST).

On the smart microwave, I don't have to adjust for DST, but every reset is twice as much work: I must enter 2 numbers per reset, or 2N numbers per year.

N N+2 2N
0 2 0
1 3 2
2 4 4
3 5 6
4 6 8
5 7 10
6 8 12

Looking at it that way, the "smart" clock, being aware of the date, will only save me effort if my power goes out (or the microwave is unplugged, etc) less than twice per year. Doesn't seem very realistic to me.

Text-stream interruptions

[athloi]

In the world of user design foolishness, the worst by far are programs that interrupt you while typing with error windows, pop-ups or windows suddenly gaining focus. Internet Explorer, I am talking to you here, as well as every other program that pops up a brain-dead window demanding me to hit cancel or OK while I'm busy with more important things. It's like stopping the State of the Union address to change a lightbulb.

In addition, any web page that doesn't follow sensible usability guidelines becomes a real pain in the neck. I read Jakob Nielsen [useit.com] to avoid most of these pitfalls when I code or design.

Six things

[ISurfTooMuch]

1. Universal remotes. Great idea in theory, but they're often hard as hell to program, especially after you lose the programming guide. Even when they're programmed correctly, they still can't perform some important function that the original remote can, so you end up having to keep both of them around, which defeats the purpose of the universal remote.

2. The meaningless icons on many electronic devices. Yeah, I know, they use them so they don't have to label the buttons in different languages for each country they sell the products in, but all these things seem to do is equally confuse everyone around the world as to what they mean.

3. Convoluted shower controls. I swear, every time I take a shower in a hotel, I have to spend several minutes figuring out how the damn controls work. How about faucet manufacturers stop trying to be cute and just give me one knob for cold, one knob for hot, and a control to switch from bath to shower. I can take it from there.

4. Wall warts. I know they serve a purpose, but do they really need to be on the end of the cord, where they take up three spots on the power strip? How about placing them in the middle of the cord, so I can use more than three plugs on my six-outlet strip.

5. Windows XP's habit of constantly reminding you that the computer needs to be restarted after an update. Memo to XP: I told you five minutes ago that I didn't want to restart, and I haven't changed my mind. How about you shut the fuck up, and when I'm ready to restart, I'll get back to you.

6. So-called water-saving toilets. Sure, they use less water, but they don't work worth a shit (pun intended). So, do you really save any water when you have to flush them twice because the first time wasn't entirely successful?

Re:Microwave

[cpt kangarooski]

I can see it being useful if the oven has a shabbat mode (e.g. the light won't turn on, you can set a timer on Friday to start reheating (not cooking) something already in there on Saturday, etc.). But you say there's no schedule function, so this probably wouldn't cover yours.

But it shouldn't require you to enter the time and date in order to use the oven. It should just be something you can enter if you want to. Also it ought to have a battery inside to avoid making you change it if power is lost.

SysRq

[ISurfTooMuch]

I know that SysRq originally had a reason for existence, but its functionality was never used, and that was many years ago. If it hasn't been used by now, it won't be, so how about reassigning that key to do something useful. Just pick a use, since just about anything is better than its current use, which is absolutely nothing.

OS

[Anonymous Coward]

I once saw an Operating System that would actually connect to the company that made it, and would imply that user was a thief if it found something it didn't like. And they had the nerve to call this "feature" an Advantage! I'm sure by now they've stopped doing it, and it was probably some overzealous junior programmer who snuck that in, but I swear I'm not making this up.

Stupid Westpac ATMs

[funkdancer]

With picture of a stupid smiling biatch on ever screen, the last going much like "Please take your card, your money and your receipt IF YOU REQUESTED IT."

My reaction, every time I see this, is an internal rage attack going like. "No goddammit ARGGGGH FFS I just said NO RECEIPT - You are a f*n computer program, FFS! ARRRRRRRRGH........ may your programmers rot in &@&%^T"

If someone at Westpac or their ATM suppliers is reading this, please read the following and contact me for my contracting fees (I'll let you have it for a mere $10k, you'll more than make up for it in customer retention).

IF (bReceiptRequested) {
    print "Please take your card and your money";
}
else {
    print "Please take your card, your money AND your receipt";
}

Re:Silent cell phone feature

[FSWKU]

You should try mine, then. The instant I plug it in, the damned thing goes from whatever setting it was on, to "Loud". Now, as I usually charge my phone at night, this is a BAD thing. Really, Motorola, why can't the damned thing just keep whatever volume setting it was currently at? My old Nokia never had this problem. Plug in the power cable, and the only change was the battery meter would animate to show me it was charging...

Blackberry 8700c

[mehtajr]

The Blackberry OS has a lovely feature that tells you when the battery is too low to attempt to make a phone call-- but yet, it can power the backlight, let me read email I've already received, etc. for hours beyond that point.

I discovered this "feature" at 3 AM, on the side of I-55 in the middle of nowhere in Mississippi, sitting in a rental car with a flat tire.

Hey guys, when I buy a phone, I want it to be to expend its last bit of battery power WHILE MAKING A PHONE CALL.

DVD regions...

[Anonymous Coward]

...enough said.

Re:Open button on a DVD player remote

[palndrumm]

Actually I really like having the eject button on the remote, especially since most DVD players these days seem to take forever to spit the disc out anyway. With the button only on the player, you're left standing there in front it staring blankly at the 'ejecting' screen on the TV for what seems like 10 minutes waiting for the disc to finally find its way out. If the button's on the remote you can press it and the player can do all its dicking around while you untangle yourself from the couch/girlfriend/cat/etc, find the DVD case, and then walk across the room to grab the disc as it pops out.

Re:Get this...

[Eccles]

How many broken CD cases do you have? How many broken DVD cases? I like DVD cases a lot better, they're a lot less fragile.

Re:Those Bings, as a class, really annoy me.

[mrchaotica]

I own a 2003 Hyundai Accent, one of the cheapest cars available (third only to the Chevy Aveo and Kia Rio at the time). After having rented a Toyota Corolla while it was in the shop (for accident repair, not because anything broke), I became very thankful to have it because the supposedly "nicer" car drove me insane by trying to do stuff for me! It would turn on the dashboard light according to a sensor (making me think the headlights were on when they weren't), lock or unlock the doors on its own, etc. Especially annoying was that it would shift gears for itself, which meant it was often not in the gear I wanted (which is a problem for low-horsepower cars like that).

There's a not-so-fine line between being "helpful" and trying to outsmart the user. And unfortunately, most cars to day are waaaay beyond it!

My next car will probably be a manual-transmission Honda Insight, to which I will add a MIMA [eaa-phev.org] kit. I like knowing and controlling exactly what the car's doing, damnit!

Re:beeping and turning the back light on

[ColaMan]

Why have lots of prank calls to emergency services when a keylock that's supposed to lock the keys - it's primary function - doesn't work?

As mentioned, pressing *any key on the phone* except zero gives a highly informative display of "press unlock", with a big animated arrow pointing to the unlock button, and then once you've pressed that, "press *".

If it's your phone, the odds that you will be dialing and you will know pretty well how to unlock said phone. If it's not your phone - to be honest, 10 seconds in getting emergency services doesn't count that much. In reality if the situation is that serious and you're the only one there, you should be busy giving first aid, ensuring someone's breathing, stopping bleeding or whatever, before you find the time to call emergency services. And if you're not alone, then the time you spend giving first aid more than compensates for the time it takes for another person with you to unlock an unfamiliar phone.

Re:It will come up sooner or later...

[Hoi Polloi]

All of the cool kids used the puppy.

eject the freakin cd

[darkwhite]

The default Linux behavior of locking the CD tray and refusing to eject when I press a button. On some devices, the lock stays in place even after a soft reboot, forcing a power cycle.

I don't give a damn if the FS driver will throw a hissy fit or the system will panic. It's read-only media, you'll eject it when I press the button or I'll eject it for you with a paperclip and get the sudden urge to crash some developers' skulls.

I honestly can't name a single design decision in a modern Linux system that is worse than that misfeature.

Re:/. editors

[Richard McBeef]

I'm not here to read -1 comments....no one gets through to my screen (except some random zoo.pl friends) without an ACTUAL HUMAN deciding their content is worthy of my eyes.

That might work for you. But it's my opinion that there is pervasive group think amongst the moderators and thus I choose to make all determinations myself. Once Slashdot implemented this feature [thislinkgoestogoatse.com], that was I really needed to brush off what moderators think. Besides, there are some real gems at -1 if you have a broad sense of humor and an open mind. If your humor is limited to Monty Python, Office Space, overlords, "we have always been at war with Eurasia" and DVD encryption key jokes then yes, moderation is probably for you. On the same note, if you toe the copyright/ip/patent line, moderation is probably also for you. I'd argue that you are going to miss some, no - many valid and interesting arguments and opinions. Well, I think they are worth consideration and thought anyway. You, of course, are free to let the moderators tell you what opinions are worth your time.

As to your +3, nested oldest first comment: Consider this - browsing that way is going to show you many responses to comments that are less than +3. What's the point in reading a +3 response to a comment that wasn't up to your beloved moderator's standards? Where's the context? Does it even address the original comment or is it just spewing slashbot talking points? How would you ever know if you set your "standards" so high? An once again, why even bother?

Re:It will come up sooner or later...

[IckySplat]

Ummm.... what planet are you from?
The BIOS does NOT start the CPU.
When a PC and fact most computers start, the reset pin will trigger the CPU
to start executing code at a predetermined memory address. This address is usually hard coded
into the CPU hardware. The address it loads and executes is usually the BIOS.

When x86 CPU's boot they are very limited beasts. It's up the the BIOS code to figure out
what exact model of CPU it is then enable all the neat extra features, like 32 or 64 bit modes
SMP and other goodies.

Comeon guys, this is basic stuff every geek should know.
This is something that hasn't really changed for the last 20-40 years or so /me Very disappointed :(

Re:Motorola Phone

[Tim Browse]

This is not the fault of Motorola, it is the fault of your wireless company. Motorola allows the phone company to add any features to the phone that they want, and allows them to "lock" several features so they cannot be changed/deleted/etc.

So, in other words, it is the fault of Motorola?

Re:It will come up sooner or later...

[owlstead]

Oh, some USB keyboards take a long time to startup as well. But if a keyboard is not present, it's pretty easy to connect one and hit the damn F1 key, so I don't know how stupid this actually is. Most BIOS still have an option to stop if no keyboard is present, and you will still get this error message. It could have read "(re)connect keyboard and press F1", but I think most people can work this out, even lusers.