First Thing IT Managers Do In the Morning?

An anonymous reader writes "When I was a wee-little IT Manager, I interviewed for a position at an online CRM provider in San Francisco, a job I certainly was qualified for, at least on paper. One of the interviewer's questions was 'What is the first thing you do when you get to work in the morning?' I thought saying 'Read Slashdot' wouldn't be what he was looking for — so I made up something, I'm sure, equally lame. I didn't get the job. But the question has stuck with me over the years. What do real IT and MIS managers do when they walk in to the office in the morning? What Web sites or tools do they look at or use the first thing? Remember, this is for posterity, so please be honest."

First

[Sexual Asspussy]

thing

Coffee machine1st thing I look at

[Evil Al]

Coffee machine, foo!

Turn off the alarm

[JoeCommodore]

Otherwise I get a headache real fast!

Shower

[Aliencow]

I'm sure that would've been the right answer.

Let's see....

[alexfeig]

1) Shmooze around the office cooler for gossip. 2) Make sure my job is still there, and not outsourced. 3) Read Slashdot. 4) Call vendors and complain about service... so I can get free service. 5) Cut my budget even more. 6) Come unglued on a random user. 7) Read Slashdot. 8) Go home.

I fart

[LiquidCoooled]

Seriously, the first thing I do in the morning is fart.

Its a natural event and usually followed by my internal body check (quick overall run over major areas - helpful after waking up with a dislocated leg when I was younger...)

I then open my eyes.

Reading /. should be OK

[tftp]

You can always say: "I test our Internet access by browsing a few selected Web sites and verifying that their content is correct."

First thing?

[Anonymous Coward]

Masturbate. It's important you let them know you do this before you get to work. Sticky keys are nobody's friend.

Re:actual vs interview

[mgabrys_sf]

I find the second response to be more on message but in offices where a more direct response is required: "stick my tongue up middle management's ass and give it a few twirls" also works.

Another friendly tip from your happy labor force - productivity equals happiness. Putting the pro in profits, and the suck in success!

Re:First thing in the morning

[flyingfsck]

Why do you need to boot your computer? Are you running Windows ME?

Why, sir....

[digitalamish]

The first thing I do is come up with an action plan to provide a best of breed solution that will benefit both our customers and our stockholders. After I take a wag at my daily task list, I begin working on new strategies to augment and improve the current paradigm. Once I have liaised with my support staff to determine the readiness of our infrastructure, I take off my jacket and put my briefcase away. Sir.

The obvious

[Mike1024]

1. Park my bike, shower etc.
2. Turn on computer.
3. While it starts, get a coffee.
4. Log in, drink coffee, check e-mail/calendar.
5. Get to work.

I've got to say, that sounds like the sort of interview question that would get some pretty boring responses. Like mine, above. So I usually jazz it up a bit in interview:

1. Park my unicycle, change out of my superhero unitard.
2. Get a new guitar from the IT guys because I smashed mine at the end of my last performance.
3. Check in with each of the 10,000 people who work under my command, all of whom I know by name.
4. Have my executive assistant relay my e-mails to me, one character at a time, by throwing lettered frisbees back and forth between my company's two tower blocks.
5. Take my second breath of the day.

So far I haven't had any job offers, but I figure the market is pretty competitive at the moment - it's only a matter of time!

TPS Reports

[Joe The Dragon]

while reading the e-mail and memos from my 7 bosses

A good answer

[blhack]

When i come in, i immediately remove the backup tapes from last night and replace them with the ones for the night to follow. After that i sit down at my workstation and check the server logs to make sure that the backup completed successfully. Next comes email. There are a few automated emails that get sent to me when cron jobs are completed detailing what was done and how efficiently. If there aren't any problems that need to be dealt with, I start scheduling out my day in my notebook. After that i usually make my rounds around the office checking back in with users who had problems that required attention yesterday, to make sure that the solution worked for them and that everything is running smoothly. Once that is done, i log into the servers to check their state, make sure there aren't any runaway tasks, and basically ensure that everything is running smoothly. If there still haven't been any users with problems that need attention at this point, i will usually start looking through the firewall logs from last night to make sure nothing fishy was going on while i was away.

At this point, printers usually start exploding.

Office Space

[CrazyJim1]

Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

He got promoted to manager off this.

Check slashdot

[unfunk]

No, really.

I'm lying in bed right now, typing this on my mobile phone. The first thing I did when I woke up was to roll over, pick up the phone and check Slashdot.

It's warm in bed, and my computer is on the other side of a very cold room..

Bugger this, I'm going back to sleep.

The Building could be on fire for all i care.

[scenestar]

But the first thing I need is to get my first hit of the day

Some Coffee, a cigarette followed by a few tabs of dexedrine and Effexor.

Honest to god, i couldn't give a fuck less about anything untill I have satisfied my cravings.

So what If i'm addicted.

We're mostly Mac at my company

[spirit_fingers]

So the first thing I do in the morning is play Unreal Tournament deathmatch online with the Maytag Repairmen. They suck. Naturally, I pwn their asses. After that, it's time for my mid-morning nap. Then it's off to lunch! Two hours later, I'm back, and it's siesta time, followed by a bathroom break where I peruse the the NY Times. Then, back at my desk, I jiggle the hula doll on top of my Mac Pro and check my email. Yawn. Nothing happening there. Then around 3:00 pm, my supervisor usually calls and asks me to show him for the 300th time how to import his Van Morrison CDs into iTunes. By then it's happy hour in the employee lounge. A couple of brewskies, followed by a fevered round of pinball, and it quittin' time! Yay! I've earned my pay for the day.

Re:XPlanner & Team Assessment

[sunwukong]

Early on I look for people that have more hours than others and I try to mitigate that by visiting them and just talking over what they have to do on a high level with them.

09:30-1:15 -- mgr walked in to discuss strategic planning and proper time management; gave me a dirty napkin & some URLs; called wife to let her know i'll be late tonight

My routine

[Anonymous Coward]

1) Verbally check to see what is "on fire" with my underlings.
2) Go into office, scan through my email until I get sleepy again.
3) Close office door.
4) Go back to sleep, preferably in a position where it looks like I'm doing something if someone opens the door without knocking.

That's covered the first half hour or so of my day. Here's the rest:

Wake up (noon to 1300)
Heat up lunch, go back to office, eat.
Read slashdot or whatever while eating, and until I get sleepy again.
Sleep until 1600.
Wake up, do whatever I really need to get done.
Leave late, after collecting at least 1 hour of overtime, at least 15 minutes of which must be spent bitching about how I never get to leave on time, damnit.

Go home and read/play games/watch movies/hang out until 4-5 AM.

5 AM: Go to sleep.

Re:The obvious

[arielCo]

1. Park my unicycle, change out of my superhero unitard.
2. Get a new guitar from the IT guys because I smashed mine at the end of my last performance.
3. Check in with each of the 10,000 people who work under my command, all of whom I know by name.
4. Have my executive assistant relay my e-mails to me, one character at a time, by throwing lettered frisbees back and forth between my company's two tower blocks.
5. Take my second breath of the day.

So, you applied at Google and can't wait for that first interview :)

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[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Check the sev 1s

[edittard]

Generally speaking if you have to check on them, they are not sev 1. If they are sev 1 you should have been contacted by now via automated(monitoring software)

Perhaps they're a C shop - so they count from zero.

Re:I fart

[Hognoxious]

followed by my internal body check (quick overall run over major areas - helpful after waking up with a dislocated leg when I was younger...)

Been there. Entwined with a fat chick, am I right?

Ask No.2 how the night watch went.

[DrSkwid]

Though I would have already contacted him via communicator while on the way to the bridge.

There, No.1 would join me after performing his rounds.

After that, anything could happen. I might be kidnapped by a gaseous being trying to escape a time warp, fall in love with a woman who dies tragically, get in a fist fight with someone I trained with but was always unhinged and I knew he'd turn out no good, though when I have the chance to kill him I will relent because people are basically good inside and need another chance if they make a mistake.

Re:I fart

[Reverend528]

Well, the first thing I do when I get to the office is fart. That way only the people with real concerns will dare approach me.

Re:Shower

[hsdpa]

Real IT Managers doesn't shower. That's overrated!
Or was it geeks who doesn't shower? I'm confused...

Re:Why, sir....

[kasparov]

"If any of that sounded like work, I'll do some more of it next week.." --Wally

Re:Shower

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm sure that would've been the right answer.

I guess if they have showers at work and you cycle to work, that would be appropriate. Otherwise, I think it'd be a bit strange that the first thing you do when you get to work is take a shower.
 

Congratulations!

[alx5000]

You're ready to replace Steve Jobs!

Same thing we do every morning, Pinky.

[pem]

Try to take over the world!

Re:A good answer

[Anonymous Coward]

When i come in, i immediately remove the backup tapes from last night and replace them with the ones for the night to follow.

At that point I would stop and start on my resume.

If your place does not have a Jukebox so you dont have to screw with the tapes more than 1-2 times a week, they are wasting money somewhere. Upgrade to SDAT and a 10 tape jukebox. backup all your servers to the single juke in one night easily, send the tapes to iron mountain off site storage every Wednesday and call it done!

change tapes daily?? YUCK! let me guess you have to manually verify that the backups were successful as well.

Call home.

[Anonymous Coward]

Call my wife and apologize for not getting home last night.

Re:We're mostly Mac at my company

[Lumpy]

Not a joke, He's the IT manager here at EA games.

Good god you should see what the Graphics Design manager does all day, There has to be 60,000 post it notes all over his office with profanity written on each of them.

Check Monster.com

[slickwillie]

to look for a better job.

Re:Coffee machine1st thing I look at

[scotch]

Probably a big dump. Why can't people shit at home? They were just there half an hour ago.

Re:Coffee machine1st thing I look at

[NickFitz]

I don't necessarily want a dump before I set off; it's the nutters one encounters on the Tube [fortunecity.com] that scare me shitless by the time I get to work.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Don't you use backup tapes from the prior night?

[KJSwartz]

It is wasteful to have so many backup tapes! And think of the cost tasking someone to keep stacking backups in the vault for a week, a month and a year! And people shudder when I tell them how I keep overhead rates down so low.

That's what I learned from my master: Darth Vader, IT Manager. I hope he found a job by now.

------------
Beancounters serve a useful purpose only when counting Jelly Bellies

Re:Coffee machine1st thing I look at

[yahooadam]

Surely the first thing you do when you get to work is walk in the door ?

First thing?

[frank_adrian314159]

Probably get out of bed, walk to the bathroom, and take a piss.

Although the first two steps are optional based on the age of the sysadmin...

Re:Email

[mulvane]

That's nothing. My company made me work from Jun6 to Dec10, and then a year later from Jan26 to Jun20... Those are some wicked hours.

well here's my day

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm a programmer, not IT, but this might be interesting, so here goes. . .

1) sit down at computer and login (i never shut it off, so i don't have to wait for it to boot the next morning)

2) start programming (usually at this point i either successfully get a few hours of coding in, or i get bugged by a manager and all productivity is lost)

3) prepare a cup of tea, go back to programming

4) get sucked into a useless two or three hour meeting where everyone discusses implementing feature V what i've already finished writing, though they don't know it yet

5) point out i already have solution V done, and i've implemented solution W even though they aren't aware they need it yet

6) listen to the boss tell me not to waste company time on W and that he wants a timetable for V

7) point out again that V is already done, and try to explain why W wasn't a waste of time, notice i'm being ignored, leave meeting frustrated claiming i have to get take an asprin/go to the bathroom/get a drink as an excuse to get out and never come back

8) few hours later, boss comes up and asks me how long it would take me to implement feature X, which is actually just a rephrasing of feature W (already done)

9) explain that i already have feature X completed, and look at the astonished boss as he says, "are you sure? no seriously, how much time do you need really?"

10) show him a demonstration of feature X (see W) and then hear the boss say, "okay then, start working on feature Y"

11) *sigh* feature Y isn't necessary because of feature X, futilely try to explain this, boss insists i waste time on feature Y even though i'm in the middle of feature Z which is usually some revolutionary feature addition that is going to a) make the company a lot of money, b) get the boss a raise or c) save lives

12) end up wasting time on feature Y, boss independently discovers that feature X makes feature Y redundant... get the great honor of listening him explain that i shouldn't be wasting time on feature Y, and why didn't i let him know that feature X resolved feature Y

13) point out that i did let him know

14) rinse and repeat every day until i want to slit my wrists

Re:Coffee machine1st thing I look at

[fractoid]

I misread that as "make sure the nightly backups are corrupted properly". Time for that coffee... >.>

Re:Coffee machine1st thing I look at

[Anonymous Coward]

Please, stop calling me Shirley.

Sarbanes-Oxley

[CaptainZapp]

I feel sorry for you publicly traded entities in that regard - the Government really SOX it to ya, lol

Dude, I actually like SOX. It means that, as a database developer, I am not allowed to touch the production databases.

This in turn means that I am not allowed to do production support.

This again means that I'm not liklely to receive phone calls at 3am, which I like just fine.

Re:Coffee machine1st thing I look at

[bh_doc]

They must have figured this out where I work. The toilet paper here is horrible. Now I know, it's all just a ploy to get me to crap at home, instead!

It worked, too.

Re:First

[nosfucious]

Alker-Salzer, Asprin, Berocca, Vitamins, water and a large quantity of caffine.

Hope that the shirt I put on is clean, pants also. (Sometimes the fact that I have pants is an improvement).

After a while the caffine kicks in and last nights bender degrades in to a dull throb and I can get some real work done.

Never turn up to work sober. It just creats unrealistic expectations.

This message brought to you by the letters Guiness, Kilkenny, Magners, Sambucca and Vodka.

Re:offtopic.

[ffrinch]

when I wasn't there was another story

You came home unexpectedly one night to find her lover being taken away in an ambulance?

Re:Coffee machine1st thing I look at

[digitig]

Of course my boss still got the last laugh. He gave me a Blackberry. Now I take a dump while my computer boots up, but I use the extra time to get a jump start on my emails using the Blackberry. Drat, foiled again...

One more nail in the coffin of widespread adoption of mobile video conferencing.

Re:I don't drink coffee...

[rjshields]

Moderated "troll" and "redundant" because I drink tea? Unbelievable.