How To Address A Visit from MPAA Senior VP Rich Taylor?

tedswiss writes "Fate has dropped a unique opportunity upon my lap: I teach at a moderately small independent school who has as one of its alums Richard Taylor. Mr. Taylor is both speaking at our start-of-year festivities and being honored with this year's "Distinguished Alum Award." Having followed and been disgusted by the MPAA's corporate practices regarding DRM and government lobbying in the past (Anyone remember DeCSS?), I would love to make his visit a chance to truly educate our student body, not just indoctrinate them. The school administration is sympathetic to my plight, but I want to present them with more than just my complaints. How would you best make use of this opportunity if you found yourself in my shoes?"

Tear Gas

[Anonymous Coward]

I think that would be the very best way to welcome your fellow alum back to campus.

A Simple Greeting:

[nurb432]

AK47

well...

[onemorehour]

First off, I'd announce the planned visit on a very popular website (making sure to mention his name in the title), thus dramatically increasing the chances that he will catch wind of whatever clever plan I come up with.

Okay, sorry. In all seriousness, I think the coolest thing to do would be to invite him to a Q&A session with your class, and try to ask him questions that shed light on these issues (lobbying, legal overreaching).

Just like home!

[Anonymous Coward]

File a whole bunch of baseless lawsuits at him as soon as he walks in. He'll feel right at home!

Demonstrate ...

[joeyspqr]

how easy and rewarding it is play one his client's movies using software approved by his organization ... say, an HD movie on a Vista laptop? be sure to point out how the enhanced experience will motivate customers to pour bushels of cash on them.

I'll tell you

[Anonymous Coward]

Get ahold of Ali G and let him handle the interview...

there you go.
MPAA owned

Re:Don't be a jerk.

[djdbass]

F-that.

Burn the Witch!

The Class way of doing this

[RobertLTux]

Before he speaks have a lawyer type give a 5 minute discussion on how the preceding speech is CopyRight (R) $date by $school and reproduction by any means
will result in prosecution. Then Lock the doors (make loud slamming noises) and have him give his talk.

Re:Hmmm.

[Brian Gordon]

Ask him to say hello to your little friend..

Supersoakers...

[El_Smack]

...full of ferret pee.
Then offer to pay his dry cleaning bill. No need to be a jerk about it.

I love idiots like this

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey. Moron. This isn't an interview. You can tell because it's in "Ask Slashdot" and not the "Interview" section.

It's a guy asking for advice on how to talk with someone who disagrees with him on something. Not an interview.

On that note, make sure you listen to what he's actually saying and don't just repeat idiotic anti-DRM talking points like the parent here did. Actually respond to what he's saying, listen to his arguments, and otherwise don't try and antagonize him. He's a guest, not a target.

Ask him if he stole his car.

[kramer]

Interrupt the beginning of the speech. Ask him if he stole his car. When he says no, ignore him and launch into a 5 minute prepared speech about how stealing cars is wrong, and the effects of stolen cars on everyone. Tell him how bad he is for stealing his car, and how he'll be punished when he gets caught. Most importantly, do not let him interrupt you or skip any portion of your speech. When you're finished, ask him how he appreciates being treated to a lecture about being a thief during time that is supposed to be his.

Re:Just like home!

[Anonymous Coward]

I can provide you with a photocopy of screen capture you can use as evidence of his wrongdoings.

Re:A Simple Greeting:

[wolfman_jake]

The only fool proof method would be a round house kick from none other than Chuck Norris.

Re:Hmmm.

[nutrock69]

My first thought was that the MPAA is more likely to sue you for copyright infringement - using a line from one of their movies...

Please deliver this message to Jack Valenti

[BillGatesLoveChild]

> How To Address A Visit from MPAA Senior VP Rich Taylor?

I believe to correct title is 'Darth'

Re:With such a visit

[Glonoinha]

Yea, or they could plant a two ounce bag of crack in his jacket pocket, 'tip off' the police and have him arrested and thrown in jail for posession of crack cocaine on a drug-free school zone with intent to distribute. Fuck his life up real good for something he didn't do, destroy him professionally / financially / emotionally and then say - there now, that's not very nice, is it? You don't like it when people do it to you, don't do it to other people.

(Does crack come in bags?)

Re:I love idiots like this

[Anonymous Coward]

whoosh.

Organize a pants-shitting.

[Anonymous Coward]

Get all of the attendees to not defecate for about two days before his address. Once he starts speaking, have everyone sit silently for about 5 or 6 minutes. At that point, set off a discrete signal that all the audience can see. At that very moment, everyone simultaneously releases the feces they've been holding for the past two days. After everyone has done their business, continue to sit there, silently. He will likely smell the smell that tends to be released when 350 people simultaneously crap their pants.

You think he'd be able to complain, but he really can't. Do you really want to say that that a speech of yours made over 300 people shit themselves, and it wasn't even because they were laughing? No.

Re:Lots of lots of feathers

[ChrisMounce]

Pillow fight?