What To Do When Broadband is Not An Option? 577
professorguy writes "I've been on the internet since 1984 (back before email addresses had @'s). But it looks like we're coming to the end of an era. From my home, I have 26.4 kbps dial-up access to the internet (you read that right). Since I am a hospital network administrator, it would be nice to do some stuff remotely when I am on 24/7 call. However, no cable or DSL comes anywhere near my house and because of the particular topography of my property (I'm on a heavily-forested, north-facing hillside), satellite is also not available. Heck, cell phones didn't even work here until January. So far, the technical people I've asked all have the same advice for reasonable connectivity: move. Move out of the house my wife and I built and lived in for 20 years. Has it really come to this? Am I doomed to be an internet refugee? Is this really my only option? Do you have an alternative solution for me?"
Re:Seems obvious. (Score:4, Funny)
May I suggest RFC 1149? (Score:5, Funny)
http://www.faqs.org/rfcs/rfc1149.html [faqs.org]
For more information. This is a method that can be used pretty much anywhere though some special conditions apply.
Suicide (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Here was my solution: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Cell? (Score:5, Funny)
Think outside the box.
Buy the ISP local to you, then mandate service in your area.
Simple, no?
Re:The Internet, like television, is overrated. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:+1, Funny (Score:5, Funny)
Wrong. A 4GB Flash disk can easily be attached to a pigeon's leg. If round trip time is even 30 min (1800 sec) between his home and the collection point, and only one pigeon is in flight at the time, you get 4GB = 32Gb =~ 32,000,000,000b. 32,000,000,000 bits / 1500 s = 17,777,777 bits / sec = 17 MBps. This is faster than FIOS!
Latency may be a problem as would be packet loss.
-b.
Re:Cell? (Score:5, Funny)
Same reason Apple launched a supposedly modern phone and forgot to support 3G with it?
Please, let's be realistic here. (Score:5, Funny)
You're also assuming instantaneous transfer at each end. If you're sending your 4GB stick to someone with a cable modem running at 3Mbps/512kbps down/up, that's the max you'll get. And that's even assuming you keep him fed with enough memory sticks. Since they're somewhat cheap, I'd assume you would.
Second problem is pidgeon transfer. When you want to use birds to transfer messages, you have to first raise the birds in a rook. Then, you transport them to another place, possibly your ISP. When they release a bird with a message, it goes "home" to where it was raised. You'll need to transfer the birds back at intervals. The ISP will also need to host birds, but I'm assuming they won't have as many. After all, upload speeds are always lower.
How many birds will you need for this? Assuming one bird transfer per day, and maybe you use a bird every 30 minutes as above, you'll need approximately 50 birds per day. If you want error checking for duplicity, you'll need twice as many.
I wish people would be more realistic with the pidgeon data transfer methods. It has great promise.
Re:May I suggest RFC 1149? (Score:3, Funny)
Re: "4 wire unloaded circuit" (Score:5, Funny)
Re:"4 wire unloaded circuit" (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The Internet, like television, is overrated. (Score:4, Funny)
Naturally sloppy and confusing?
Riddled with curly brackets?
Ubiquitous?
Through the efforts of many professionals over the years, at first glance seems quite a bit younger than she is?