Your Worst IT Workshop?

suntory writes "I am a lecturer at a Spanish university. This week had to attend a workshop on 'Advanced HTML and CSS' for the university staff. Some of the ideas that the presenter (a fellow lecturer) shared with us: IE is the only browser that follows standards; frames and tables are the best way to organize your website; you can view the source for most CSS, Javascript and HTML files, so you can freely copy and paste what you feel like — the Internet is free you know; same applies for images, if you can see them in Google Images Search, then you can use them for your projects. Of course, the workshop turned out to be a complete disaster and a waste of time. So I was wondering what other similar experiences you have had, and what was your worst IT workshop?"

Wow!

[dada21]

I submitted this post in 1997 when I used the slashdot id suntory. I can't believe the admins are THIS slow. It still was a bad conference then.

My personal worst

[Anonymous Coward]

I took the How to be the Web's Best Editor workshop offered by Slashdot. What a disaster.

I submitted an article on it a few months ago. They posted it to the front page 3 or 4 times. Just search for keywords: bestt editer

Re:Wow!

[Pharmboy]

At least it isn't a dupe.

Yet.

Re:Vendor Name?

[Anonymous Coward]

Microsoft?

It was an AskSlashdot

[SleptThroughClass]

It was an AskSlashdot session which was full of the worst possible examples.

Not the worst for *me*...

[Otter]

We were getting trained on some desktop sharing / presentation software. The instructor was getting increasingly frustrated with one woman who couldn't seem to manage even the most basic steps. ("Click on the icon. No, the picture thing! Click with your mouse -- no!) Finally she gave that woman control of her own computer...

**Whoosh**! The woman instantly tears into the instructor's hard drive like in one of those hacker movies and starts moving and deleting files! The instructor dived for her own laptop and yanked the Ethernet cable. I'm still not all sure what really happened there.

I Don't Get IT Workshops, You Insensitive Clod!

[Greyfox]

However I DID have an IT guy tell me with a straight face that windows out of the box is more secure than any given Linux install out of the box. He backed down pretty quick when I suggested that we install both OSes on a machine connected to the open Internet, though...

Re:Wow!

[indros13]

This has to be a Slashdot first: pride in having a higher userid.

dada21 (163177)

suntory (660419)

InterOp

[dave562]

While not exactly a workshop per se, it was the biggest waste of time. My employer basically paid for me to have people try to sell me stuff. Aren't the sales people supposed to be paying me for my time in the form of free lunches, dinners, blow and strippers?

Re:Vendor Name?

[Anonymous Coward]

If it happened in 1997, chances are very good they no longer exist. Problem solved. No cost.

Fistfight

[boristdog]

I once attended a Windows 3.1 seminar back in 1994 where some jackass kept complaining that I sat in HIS chair (out of 300 identical folding chairs) after the lunch break.

He was about a foot taller and at least 30 lbs heavier than me. I finally told him to shut the hell up or we could go outside and I would kick his butt. He shut the hell up and apologized later.

That's about all I remember from that seminar.

Not my worst, but one of my best...

[Pig Hogger]

In University, in a web design class. The teacher was demonstrating coding a page. As he was entring links into URLs, I start spelling "P-L-A-Y-B-O-Y-.-C-O-M", which the teacher dutifully typed. When he realized what he wrote, he backspaced over "BOY" and typed "GIRL", then went on with his demonstration.

5 minutes later, by accident, he clicks on the link, triggering a cascade of pop-ups with naked men in front of the class, which was laughing it's lungs out...

Perl class

[HW_Hack]

This was a class offered internally by Intel --

So this total propeller head who's teaching the class says "Perl is the easiest language to learn - very natural and logical syntax" ...... I lasted until the morning break - then went back ot my office to get some work done .....

Re:IDIOT

[orclevegam]

I once had an instructor at an introductory level programming class (which I was required to take and they refused to let me test out of) try to insist that in C and C++ the int in the line:
int main()
stands for initialize. No amount of arguing with the instructor could convince him that it was declaring the return type of the main function as an integer. As it happens the instructor was also head of the computer science department. I spent the rest of that semester teaching the entire class after the instructor left because I felt bad for them. They all agreed I did a much better job than the instructor. I would have gotten a job as a teacher there, but they couldn't afford my rate.

Re:Wow!

[dada21]

Thanks for making me feel like I've wasted 1/3rd of my years reading slashdot.

Sad, but I do remember when I finally registered here (after months of lurking, I'd say), I felt like my UID was _really_ late compared to a lot of the 4-digits that were posting.

Wonder where they all went. Can't be jobs (have always had one). Can't be wives (been with the same gal for 12 years off and on). Can't be families (watch my mentally retarded BiL 4 days a week). Can't be sports (geeks don't play them). WoW maybe?

HP

[Jethro]

I was at a conference one time where an HP guy gave a lecture, and during the Q&A people asked why HP hasn't moved to 64 bit yet, like DEC had, etc.

Guy got really mad and started pretty much yelling at people, saying that 64 bit has twice as many bits and is therefore half as fast as 32 bit computing.

People didn't even bother laughing at him. Everyone just looked at him like he was an idiot.

Re:Vendor Name?

[Daniel_Staal]

At least the name is truth in advertising.

Re:HP

[wikinerd]

Everyone just looked at him like he was an idiot.

like?

Re:HP

[Jethro]

I seem to have misspelled "because". Oops!

Re:Fistfight

[flaming error]

That was you? Let me apologize again.

I had just returned from my Peace Corps stint in Ghana, and I was suffering from highly virulent dysentery. During lunch I discovered my containment garments had a rip in the seat.

  > I finally told him to shut the hell up or we could go outside and I would kick his butt
As soon as I saw you had symptoms, I decided it was too late to try and convince you.

But you really should seek professional help. Sounds like you haven't gotten over it yet.

Re:Wow!

[Chris_Mir]

It will be in 2017.

Re:My personal worst

[myrdos2]

I was taking a University course on C++ and data structures. Big class, maybe 150 people in a theatre-like room. At the front of the room was a PC, connected to a projector so we could see screen. This was a Solaris system. The prof had emailed the lecture slides to himself.

So to get the slides, he opens a terminal, and types pine. A big list of all his email fills the screen. He starts looking for his lecture notes... at which point some guy noticed one of his emails had the subject "Enormous Pussy". The prof stammered and said it wasn't what it sounded like, that's just a big cat one of his friends has, and his friend likes to send email with provocative subjects.

At which point someone else saw an email called "Giant Beaver", destroying the prof's credibility.

The lecture itself was great.

PLC class

[hjf]

I went to this PLC (Programmable Logic Controller, that's industrial control for you computer geeks). It started OK, with some drone showing off Schneider Electric's new Contactor (the TeSys U, a "smart" contactor with a LCD display, over/under load protection, short-circuit protection,.. whatever). Later on comes this guy, making some really bad jokes and then laughing himself -- the rest of us just laughed at the way he laughed, he was really loud. So, he shows some PLC basics. All was fine...

Next day he said, well, we're finished with the PLC stuff (actually we were finished with some really really bird's eye view of Ladder diagrams), now we'll see some SCADA. So the guy start showing this REALLY CRAPPY 16-bit app, and he showed ONE BY ONE every single widget (buttons, bar graphs, even some motors that changed colors to show when the output was running). And the library was H U G E. THOUSANDS of widgets. And he showed them "oh, look at how many of them there are! Just see how flexible this program is! See! We even have traffic lights! Buttons! Little trucks, big trucks, cars...".

I went outside and came back in 1 hour, and the guy was STILL SHOWING the fucking widgets and how to place and connect them. Needless to say, I didn't stay.

Re:HTML, CSS and Websites

[Anonymous Coward]

If I went to a Web seminar like the one described in the story, and it didn't mention building sites on top of a CMS, I'd question the presenter and the company that paid for me to go. There is no reason that your average person needs to know HTML or CSS, as those should be handed over to DESIGNERS, people skilled with making things look good. If you want to see what it looks like when everyday people do design just go over to MySpace (akkkk).

1. that's not really true anymore. There are plenty of HTML editors that produce great
2. looking code and you can preview using WYSINWYG viewers
   • so HTML really isn't out of reach

     for most users anymore. YMMV.

Re:InterOp

[Quiet_Desperation]

Aren't the sales people supposed to be paying me for my time in the form of free lunches, dinners, blow and strippers?

Here in aerospace, we're not allowed to accept even a freaking mouse pad from a parts supplier.

Which is probably best, because I'd totally be whoring myself out for meals and gadgets and, if the salesperson was a cute woman, whatever I thought I could get before getting slapped.

"Yeah, sell me some FPGAs, bitch. Yeah, you like it when I talk like that, don't you? Tell me those gate counts again, you dirty, dirty girl."

I know. I need help. :(

Re:Wow!

[johnw]

Sad, but I do remember when I finally registered here (after months of lurking, I'd say), I felt like my UID was _really_ late compared to a lot of the 4-digits that were posting.

Wonder where they all went.

If you get here really early in the morning and keep very, very quiet then you may just spot one.

HTH
John

Re:InterOp

[dave562]

I know. I need help. :(

Sounds to me like you just need $1000 and 24 hours in Vegas. ;)

Re:Wow!

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow, I knew Google was *evil*, but to make Image Search available to universities five years before releasing it to the public? That's downright devilish.

Re:Vendor Name?

[e9th]

No, that would be "by Dummies."

Re:IDIOT

[whoever57]

once had an instructor at an introductory level programming class (which I was required to take and they refused to let me test out of) try to insist that in C and C++ the int in the line: int main() stands for initialize.

My daughter took a course on C++ at the local community college. The last assignment required building a program that would run as a cgi on a Linux-based webserver. Prior to this point, everything had been Windows based. The instructor claimed in his notes on the assignment that the C++ code when intended to be compiled and run under Linux should start with:

//#!/usr/bin/gcc

Or some such similar nonsense.

Re:Wow!

[alta]

I'm here, my ID is pretty low. Since I got it, I got married, changed jobs twice, had two kids and opps, voted for Bush twice. This time I'm voting for Thompson, if he makes it that far.

third party opportunity

[Anonymous Coward]

Apple developer conference, I think just before 10 came out. In every session during Q&A we would tell Apple what was wrong with the OS and things that didn't work. The answer in each session was "That's a third party developer opportunity". Everyone was so pissed. It still makes me mad.

Re:Fistfight

[DarrenBaker]

He was about a foot taller and at least 30 lbs heavier than me.

Man, I hope he was at least 6'.

I finally told him to shut the hell up or we could go outside and I would kick his butt. He shut the hell up and apologized later.

I think I remember seeing a clip of that on Fox's When Nerds Get Kind of Pissy.

What's a double?

[joecarst]

I was in a training session where the 'instructor' was asked what a double was and he explained it was called a double becuase it held two variables. I almost walked out of the class.

Re:I was a co-facilitator at one...

[Amouth]

we had a guy once that SOME HOW managed to shove a P8 connector into a wd hard drive with out realizing it, turned it on and went to the bathroom while it booted.. all i remember was sitting at the register checking someone out and seeing smoke coming from behind the tech bench.. walked over and the damn thing had caught on fire.... thank god they fired him a few years later...................

Re:Wow!

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm here, my IQ is pretty low. Since I got it, I got married, changed jobs twice, had two kids and opps, voted for Bush twice. This time I'm voting for Thompson, if he makes it that far.

FTFY.

Re:Wow!

[fahrbot-bot]

You've only changed jobs twice? Sheesh, I'm on job 17 since joining Slashdot.

Hmmm. Seventeen jobs since joining /. Perhaps there's a correlation? :-)

Re:Wow!

[HBK-4G]

<david_attenborough>

The low_uid is primarily a nocturnal poster, but can sometimes be coaxed into daytime efforts by a higher_uid making 'old man of the forest' claims.

</david_attenborough>

Re:Wow!

[Harmonious Botch]

This has to be a Slashdot first: pride in having a higher userid

Not really. I just use my dada21 id when trolling.

Topic: How Wonderful We Are

[mkcmkc]

Once I had a job at a Very Large Telecom Corporation and as a requirement of getting an email account, I was required to attend an e-mail orientation session, which consisted of a PowerPoint talk given by someone in the IT/Email dept. The speaker trumpeted the fact that prior to the procurement of their latest email system, each email had cost the company $1000 to deliver. The new system was much more economical--I don't recall the figure now.

Needless to say, the talk contained no useful information at all.

Re:Wow!

[tjones]

We're still here, just not posting like we used to.

Re:My personal worst

[quantaman]

at which point some guy noticed one of his emails had the subject "Enormous Pussy". The prof stammered and said it wasn't what it sounded like, that's just a big cat one of his friends has, and his friend likes to send email with provocative subjects.

At which point someone else saw an email called "Giant Beaver", destroying the prof's credibility.

Huh? What's wrong with a CS prof who likes pictures of animals?

What? Why is everyone looking at me?

I got you beat:

[LibertineR]

1993: "Lotus Notes: Why workflow matters"

I swear to God, the first words from the presenters mouth: "That Exchange thing Microsoft is building is no threat to us, and here is why....."

Re:Wow!

[ChuckleBug]

We are everywhere. We watch, in silence, waiting for the right moment.

What to do then, I dunno.

Re:Wow!

[Geoff]

We're still here, though getting on in years. We check in occasionaly to mumble something about "kids these days"...

Re:I got you beat:

[ConceptJunkie]

And I bet the second sentence started with something like "We've adopted the latest in 1950's East German war-surplus software technology..."

Re:My personal worst

[ISoldat53]

I had to fly 1800 miles to attend a party at the hq thrown for all of the field personnel to reward them for being away from home so much.

Re:Wow!

[Anonymous Coward]

I've been lurking for 8 years, and I still haven't felt the need to register. Take THAT Mr. 4 digits!

Re:Speaking of university...

[jaxtherat]

Yeah, similar thing happened to me. I had a database luddite for a lecturer and he failed me for using temporary views to solve a certain problem as he'd rather I did subselects, even though my SQL was simpler to read, and scaled a lot better for huge datasets.

As this was part of the final project, of course I failed the subject...

The Ironic part was, my solution turned out to be be THE ONLY way to do some complex data mining in MySQL 3.something for my first IT job. Imagine the lulz that were had by my boss when he found out that the solution that got the CFO off his back was also responsible for me failing databases 1001...

oh the humanity

Re:Not my worst, but one of my best...

[stinkytoe]

I remember watching UC Berkeley's webcast of their intro to computing class, CS61A. (i think it was fall of '02). Anyways, one of the assignments they did was an english to pig latin translator in scheme.

He typed:
'(cs61a is a great class)

and got (something like):
(acs61ay isay aay eatgray assclay)


the class was laughing their ass off for a few minutes befure the prof. looked at his laptop and realized what exactly happened.

Re:Wow!

[Wolfrider]

True, true
 
// Watchin the game, havin a Bud

WHAZZUP

Re:Wow!

[Pharmboy]

I'm sorry, did you say something? We were reading at +1....

Re:Wow!

[kju]

I felt like my UID was _really_ late compared to a lot of the 4-digits that were posting.

Wonder where they all went.



Sorry, can't help you with that question.

Re:Wow!

[hawk]

Just keep telling yourself that, sonny.

oops . . .

Introduction to UNIX circa 1994

[Boawk]

I worked for a corporate training company in the early 1990s. One client was moving from mainframes from UNIX and the unhappy employees were forced to train on UNIX or find work elsewhere. Naturally they took it out on the instructor. The worst was a guy who didn't touch type, but did all of his typing with the eraser end of a wooden pencil. The only thing more terrible than watching paint dry is watching the pencil-eraser-typing guy learn vi.

Re:Wow!

[Anonymous Coward]

Look at that, 3 4 digit uids in a row. Well I guess it's 5:35am somewhere.

Re:Wow!

[Gazzonyx]

Seriously, do you sub 10K ids have an IRC channel where they announce when and where an id war is going on? It's like someone starts a thread on ids and you guys have responded before the poster has even hit submit! I think everyone under 10K has a Chuck Norris complex or som(*&@*^... *Connection Reset By Peer*

Re:Wow!

[masdog]

Ranger: "Holy macaroni! I can't believe I'm seeing a 3-digit UID. He's in focus! Oh, I've waited my entire life for this moment!" *takes out gun*
Bender: "What are you doing with that?"
Lrrr: "You're going to kill this innocent Slashdotter?"
Ranger: "Of course not! I'm just gonna tranquilize him so I can chop off his feet as proof he exists. Then dump him back in the wild. He'll do fine!"

Re:Wow!

[monsted]

I sensed a disturbance in the force.

Re:Speaking of university...

[elrous0]

The lesson is that soft skills are often more important than technical skills.

Have you considered a career at Microsoft?