What Examples of Security Theater Have You Encountered? 1114
swillden writes "Everyone who pays any attention at all to security, both computer security and 'meatspace' security, has heard the phrase Security Theater. For years I've paid close attention to security setups that I come in contact with, and tried to evaluate their real effectiveness vs their theatrical aspects. In the process I've found many examples of pure theater, but even more cases where the security was really a cover for another motive." swillden would like to know what you've encountered along these lines; read on for the rest of his question below.
swillden continues: "Recently, a neighbor uncovered a good example. He and his wife attended a local semi-pro baseball game where security guards were checking all bags for weapons. Since his wife carries a small pistol in her purse, they were concerned that there would be a problem. They decided to try anyway, and see if her concealed weapon permit satisfied the policy. The guard looked at her gun, said nothing and passed them in, then stopped the man behind them because he had beer and snacks in his bag. Park rules prohibit outside food. It's clear what the 'security' check was really about: improving park food vending revenues.
So, what examples of pure security theater have you noticed? Even more interesting, what examples of security-as-excuse have you seen?"
Nom nom nom (Score:5, Funny)
Disneyland (Score:5, Funny)
Wireless Security (Score:5, Funny)
It's probably worth pointing out he wasn't aware you could "secure" a wireless point with a basic WPA key at least - it was completely open, anyone could walk right in, assuming they beat the fear of the "virus" that was.
Re:Disneyland (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I've been a part of the theatre. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The Iraq theater (Score:2, Funny)
Shortly after 9/11 (Score:5, Funny)
They held it up triumphantly and shouted at me, "Just what do you expect to do with this?!"
I wanted to ask them them the same question back. Just what did they expect I'd do with that? In a building that had security guards with guns? Was I going to hijack the building and crash it into a plane?
Re:Wireless Security (Score:5, Funny)
Password Policy (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I've been a part of the theatre. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Completely off-topic... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Shortly after 9/11 (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Nom nom nom (Score:4, Funny)
I think I speak for everyone here at the slashdot community when I say:
Shut the fuck up.
Re:Shortly after 9/11 (Score:2, Funny)
Joint account (Score:5, Funny)
The other person wasn't available... so I just said "Ok, hold on I'll get him." Then waited a few seconds and said "Hi. Yes, I'm he. Yes I confirm the transfer."
They transferred the money. No authentication, no double-checks. Just some voice on a phone (I didn't even bother faking a different-sounding voice) saying that it was ok.
Re:Nom nom nom (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Nom nom nom (Score:2, Funny)
I think I speak for everyone here at the slashdot
Re:Shortly after 9/11 (Score:2, Funny)
The blinking red light (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Shortly after 9/11 (Score:5, Funny)
Re:On the web side of things (Score:3, Funny)
There are a surprising number of completely borked AD implementations out there. I don't know how people manage to do it. They must try using ADSIEdit as word processor or something.
Re:Firearms and security (Score:0, Funny)
Re:Nom nom nom (Score:5, Funny)
Some guidelines:
1. Never describe anything as "epic", especially if followed by the word win or loss.
2. Use decent grammar, punctuation, and spelling.
3. Conceal all enthusiasm under a smug nerdiness.
Re:Nom nom nom (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Nom nom nom (Score:4, Funny)
Today at The Daily WTF (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Disneyland (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Oh Sure (Score:5, Funny)
And since they're a group of them, desperate enough to mangle or kill you, they certainly all have weapons. And given the situation, the weapons in question are certainly assault rifles. And they're not stupid, just desperate, so they'll rely on strength in numbers, attacking by the hundreds. At this point, having arranged a group of hundreds of heavily armed men, they pretty much have to murder you. This is why I feel much safer keeping a loaded M1 Abrams in my bedroom.
Re:3 oz Liquid Restrictions (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Nom nom nom (Score:5, Funny)
Yet you're still going on about it.....
You might find this picture instructive [kairosnews.org].
Re:Oh Sure (Score:5, Funny)
Secondly, saying that you shouldn't have a gun because you are more likely to commit suicide than be killed by an intruder implies that either people randomly commit suicide for no reason or that people choose to have home invasions. They are not really the same sort of thing so the statistics aren't really a helpful metric.
That said, if you are a person with suicidal tendencies you should keep neither firearms nor flamethrowers (which confusingly are not generally considered firearms) around the house. Axes however are very difficult to commit suicide with, and as such should be kept in the event you run into any would-be wood-be assailants.
Re:Nom nom nom (Score:3, Funny)
My bad. Your post had already been modded down into the nether regions. Sorry for that.
Although I was weary that slashdotters would care to be educated on any technology that isn't Linux-based, I found the mental image of a person in a ballpark pulling the bullet off a casing to retrieve the miniature pretzels contained within even more humorous than what the initial poster had probably intended, so I took a chance to share this. Hopefully the mod-Gods will be gentle.
Re:My fave (Score:3, Funny)
Ok, no it's not.
Re:Nom nom nom (Score:5, Funny)
It's funny because it's true.
Re:Disneyland (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Nom nom nom (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Can't get shot by beer and snacks (Score:4, Funny)
Raised Tile Computer Floors (Score:5, Funny)
I had a contract at a high security government site. At one location an MP actually had a M16 pointed at me while I worked but that's a different story. At this location the computer room was raised and had a ramp leading to a secure door. Not having the proper card to get in I always needed an escort for access. The problem was no one was ever around when I needed in.
One day after waiting 45 minutes for my escort I had an idea. I lifted one of the tiles in front of the door, slipped under and came up the other side of the raised floor. Another 45 minutes and my escort finely arrived beside himself I was already in the room. He lectured me about Top Secret this and Top Secret that, the ramifications and had to know how I got in... So I told him. They installed a barrier under the floor.
The next time it happened I looked up and saw a tile ceiling. The lecture worked because I didn't go over but I was tempted.
-[d]-
Sikh? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Can't get shot by beer and snacks (Score:3, Funny)
Re:FAA pilot on the do not fly list. (Score:5, Funny)
The pilot said to him, "Well, you can confiscate this if you want, but -- and I don't mean to alarm you -- I have a fire axe in the cockpit."
Re:The blinking red light (Score:5, Funny)
Who needs a flashing red light when there is a third pedal and gear shift that scare the crap out of 90% of potential drivers of my car?
Improvised weapon... (Score:4, Funny)
As I walked to the gate and sat in the waiting area, I spied a very-cute young blonde. I sat next to her and noticed that she was knitting.
I asked what she was making, and in the process of telling me, she explained that the needles she was using were 16" long and made of stainless steel.
I was so struck with the absurdity of the situation that I became flustered, and unable to secure her phone number.
Where did the topic go, oh, I don't know~ (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Crossing back into US from Canada... (Score:3, Funny)
Actually, if I had a nasty purpose in mind, you're exactly the kind of person I'd probably want to imitate. And if I wanted to get a really good idea of how the streets around a bank I was planning to rob were laid out, I'd go strutting around dressed like one of those Guardian Angel dildoes.
It's human nature to concentrate on the memorable stuff...whether it's a beret and an attitude, or a van tarted up like a cross between the batmobile and an AWACS jet.
Having said that, I'll agree that a disproportionate number customs guards, no matter who they work for, are assholes. I especially liked the American ones who picked the one cute little Asian girl on our bus to strip-search. Must have been "Feed The Lesbian Guard Day" or something.
Re:2002 Winter Olympics (Score:2, Funny)
Inevitably there'd be a police helicopter in the neighborhood in a few minutes.
Re:Nom nom nom (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Nom nom nom (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Oh Sure (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The Iraq theater (Score:3, Funny)
Yeah, like the Brits.
America, Turkey, Afghanistan, Iraq, Burma, Egypt, Palestine, Bosnia, Kosovo, Malaysia, Hong Kong, India, Pakistan, Bangladesh... Is there any country on this planet the British haven't gotten their butts kicked out of?
At least the Americans are good and whooped before they quit a war. They don't just run away when the tea runs out.
Re:Nom nom nom (Score:5, Funny)
Security theatre works (Score:3, Funny)
I sprinkle pepper on the lawn and have some special rocks that I put in front of the house.
Both these procedures keep tigers and elephants away, and so far, they have been 100% effective
Yes, security theatre does work
At the White House (Score:5, Funny)
One thing you don't realize when you see it on television is just how big the garden is, and how far away the fence is.
But that's by the by. As I was walking around the boundary fence, I noticed a security guard, armed with what appeared to be a shotgun, hiding behind a bush. What was even stranger, he was attempting to, but failing, to hide from me, armed with what was obviously a digital camera and nothing else.
I continued walking around a bit, looking at him. He continued to edge around the particular shrub; again, trying, and failing, to keep out of my view.
It was so patently absurd that I felt like taking a photo of the scene, but given that the guy was carrying a shotgun and this was the White House, I thought it might be prudent to ask first.
So, I called out to the guy "excuse me, but do you mind if I take a photo"?
The reply comes back "no, don't take one". And he tries even harder, and fails, to hide himself.
This is despite the fact that anybody with a pair of binoculars, or a long lens camera, would have easily spotted the bloke from several hundred yards away. The Secret Service must, of course, know this, and probably had two other armed guards I hadn't spotted watching me.
For the life of me, I still don't understand what this guy was trying to achieve hiding behind the shrubbery. Look, everybody expects there to be guards in the White House gardens, some of whom you'll see, some of whom you won't unless you try something insanely stupid. But this whole hide-and-seek routine made absolutely no sense at all.
visa application (Score:3, Funny)
1. This is the 21st fucking century. What, are women incapable of understanding all that nucular stuff? Females aren't a threat?
2. Anyone over 40 is not even worth questioning?
3. Even if you are part of the tiny demographic that are even questioned, does Immigration think undesirables are going to tell the fucking truth on the application form?
Re:The blinking red light (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Can't get shot by beer and snacks (Score:3, Funny)
Or you could just come to England, where simply wearing the hooded sweatshirt is likely to get the same reaction.
Re:The blinking red light (Score:3, Funny)
Re:The Iraq theater (Score:1, Funny)
Re:The Iraq theater (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Nom nom nom (Score:3, Funny)
Re:The blinking red light (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The Iraq theater (Score:3, Funny)
Re:The blinking red light (Score:3, Funny)
That's not the purpose of the blinking light. The blinking light lowers my car insurance! Mine only comes on when the car is locked.
There's a reason cities are starting to ban car alarms - they are just annoying and serve little to no useful purpose whatsoever.
I hadn't heard that cities are banning alarms, what cities? My alarm is built into the car, it activates when the doors are locked. The only way to not activate the alarm is to not lock the car! If they should pass such a law in my city how could I possibly comply?
I bought the car used, and it had no owner's manual. Last winter I hit the "panic" button by mistake and had no idea how to shut it off. A cop cruised by in less than two minutes, HE know how to shut it off! Now I know too.
But the lesson I got there is the alarms DO serve a purpose. Had someone been stealing the car, they would have gotten caught.
A friend has a "protected by XXX Security company" sign in his yard. He doesn't really have a home alarm, he stole the sign!
Re:The blinking red light (Score:3, Funny)
Re:The Iraq theater (Score:1, Funny)
Re:The blinking red light (Score:5, Funny)
Who would steal a focus?
An Internet Explorer-equipped dashboard?
Re:The blinking red light (Score:3, Funny)
A friend of mine was almost a victim of auto theft. He found it pulled half out of it's space with the driver's side door opened. However, it seems that the would be thief didn't know how many times to pump the gas and the exact ratio of gas and clutch required to avoid stalling the engine (a truly tiny window in that car).
Or perhaps he noticed the smoke detector light for the engine compartment and the lanyard that operated the fire extinguisher so you didn't have to stop to handle the occasional fire.
I guess they didn't get far enough to notice the missing tooth in the steering pinion.