Any Suggestions For a Meaningful Geeky Wedding Band? 755
mbutala writes "I am getting close to popping the question, and I've been racking my brain for an idea for a cool and unique wedding band. I've been thinking of contacting a company that can (possibly) fabricate a ring from pure Iridium (Ir) or a nearly pure alloy. It is the most corrosion-resistant metal known — it cannot be dissolved in aqua regia like gold or platinum. Iridium is extremely rare on Earth, and the high concentration of it at the K-T boundary in the Earth's crust is what suggests a meteor took out the dinosaurs. I am positive that the symbolism of the permanence of Iridium, the reminder that we are star-stuff, and the fact that the ring would be one-of-a-kind would really strike a chord with my girlfriend. It's a really geeky idea, so I thought I would run it past you all — what do you think? Any other ideas?"
It's her day so... (Score:5, Insightful)
Just don't make the mistake of thining that any part of the wedding process (past the proposal) is about you :)
The short answer is "whatever she wants".
G.
Re:Save your money (Score:5, Insightful)
Posting on Slashdot? (Score:4, Insightful)
MSDS?! (Score:1, Insightful)
Why don't you nerds read an MSDS on the material of choice before making yourself a guinea pig.
Re:It's her day so... (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Or you could make it yourself. (Score:5, Insightful)
All I'll add to that, is if he's found a girl who will value his imagination, willingness to put all that effort, throught and dilligence in, more than she values waving some diamonds with no intrinsic value at her friends and having them wave their own back (sometimes with a concealed snide reference to it not being worth as much their diamonds), then he should under no circumstances ever let this girl go. She's more valuable than any precious metal or gemstone.
Good luck to the submitter!
Re:One Ring (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:It's her day so... (Score:2, Insightful)
If you're marrying a horrible bitch I guess.
If the wedding is somehow all about her, imagine what a discussion about laundry will be 10 years from now.
Don't be an idiot. Who the fuck rated this shit insightful?
Re:It's her day so... (Score:5, Insightful)
Every woman dreams of the perfect "fairy princes" wedding. Even the ones that say otherwise have that dream.
How silly. No, every woman does not dream of that. I got married in Vegas to avoid such a (to me) preposterous display, and I've never regretted it for a moment. I wore jeans. It took about fifteen minutes.
Re:It's her day so... (Score:5, Insightful)
other people who have already been married
Re:Guaranteed success (Score:5, Insightful)
If you people are seriously marrying women with the intention of being doormats your entire lives, you will be a miserable, pathetic wretch long before she ruins you in the divorce.
Any marriage based on "yes dear, yes dear" over and over again is an eternity in HELL. If you care even an ounce about yourself, you won't do turn into "that guy".
Re:It's her day so... (Score:5, Insightful)
My parents got married at town hall during lunch break and didn't get rings until 20 years later. True love doesn't give a shit about retarded money showers.
Re:It's her day so... (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:It's her day so... (Score:2, Insightful)
No kidding! If the bride is seeking perfection then the marriage is likely doomed as it will never be achieved. Not to be confused of course with varying things that were proclaimed as perfect after the wedding by a happily married woman. Money wasted on big weddings would often be far more conducive to a happy marriage if they were put into a bank account to smooth over later cash flow problems or spent on a house for the young couple.
Are you sure she wants a geeky band? (Score:5, Insightful)
Girls are girls first, and geeks second. I would say that even the geekiest girls have dreamed of traditional weddings, and would much rather have tradition over trends and geekiness.
Just my $0.02. Do come back and tell us how it went.
Re:It's her day so... (Score:2, Insightful)
Isn't again being the operative word here? Perhaps first time around people want the happy ever after fairytale.
Re:It's her day so... (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:It's her day so... (Score:5, Insightful)
When you consider who traditionally pays for the wedding, it's not too surprising it's all about their little girl...
Look at the "wedding" section in the magazines (Score:5, Insightful)
It's far bigger then all the others....
Weddings and wedding magazines are porn for the average girl (and her mother).
Re:It's her day so... (Score:5, Insightful)
If you're marrying a horrible bitch I guess.
If the wedding is somehow all about her, imagine what a discussion about laundry will be 10 years from now.
It's a trade off, you short-sighted "idiot". Sometimes things are all about her. Sometimes they are all about you. Not everything in a marriage is about both of you. There will always be a give and take. What you said speaks volumes about your ability to give anyone else the attention they want without them considering what you want for even a day.
Re:It's her day so... (Score:4, Insightful)
You misunderstood (and I was a bit sharp in my rhetoric anyway).
I'd never marry a woman for whom even a 5 thousand dollar wedding was a requirement. That's ridiculous, and might be a dealbreaker for me.
The wedding is not about me, and it's not about her. It's about us, our love, our family, and our friends. There's no need for a whole bunch of bullshit surrounding it. See also my other post, that's how you do it.
consider relative hardness .. (Score:4, Insightful)
It sounds like you're buying a wedding band as an engagement ring (which I've not come across before, yet noone seems to have mentioned it).If your wife-to-be is going to wear any other ring alongside this one then you need to consider the relative hardness. With gold the higher carat value the softer.
Also, if you've got a bad memory (like me) you might consider having the date of your wedding inscribed inside the band ... if your memory is really bad then get your wife's name put in there too. http://dot-jewellery.co.uk/commissions.php?c=emboss [dot-jewellery.co.uk] sounds like a nice way to do this, or something similar.
I'd probably have gone for a Mobius strip if I was rich enough to commission a ring.
Lastly, this is your gift to her .. I don't think you need to choose exactly what she would choose for herself. But, do remember the idea is for her to wear it for the rest of her life.
Re:Posting on Slashdot? (Score:4, Insightful)
... he's hoping his gf will post and tell him what she wants.
Re:It's her day so... (Score:5, Insightful)
I remember the observation that something that would bend or distort a titanium ring would propably do horrible things to your hands if you didn't have that ring on in the first place.
I would be willing to go out on a limb and say the majority of jewelery being cut off digits is more likely due to tissue swelling, from things like diabetes or allergic reactions.
In response to getting a "geeky" band, someone needs to get a reality check. Traditionally, the man is not supposed to have any choice in band selection, except choosing which credit card to pull out when it comes time to pay.
It's also taking a big chance, as both parties will probably be quite a bit more mature in a few years, and probably regret not getting something with lasting value, such as platinum or a finer grade of gold. You can get a spectacular platinum band for men, for about $700, and a woman's set for less than $3k. Good ones feel like some metal of the gods due to the massive weight for such a small piece. Not enough to get make your finger tired, but enough to surprise people who have only held gold.
As for scratching, gold will scratches and dings with ease. Jewelers who want to liquidate gold or platinum will change their story about which is best depending on what they need to get rid of that week. Meanwhile, both will likely need repair or polishing at some point in the future. A fine example is my father's wedding band, which he never serviced after 30 years, it's gold, but looks like someone wire-brushed it with a grinder at this point.
Gold will also let go of diamonds a lot easier than platinum. Thus giving the jeweler a higher probability of stone resets and/or new stone sales over the life of the customer.
Re:It's her day so... (Score:2, Insightful)
That has not been true for decades except for the insanely wealthy.
if you marry a rich chick that mommy and daddy pay for that $45,000-1,190,000 and up wedding good for you, start a second bank acccount and slowly siphon money in for your retirement when you get retired in a few years.
For the rest of us, the bride and groom pay for the wedding, and Most weddings are simply the couple and their closest friends and family in a park, small church, or even the back yard for less than $1200.00 spent.
P.S. only a FOOL would blow 3 months salary on a engagement ring, and any woman worth marrying will slap you hard for buying her such frivolity.
Re:Guaranteed success (Score:5, Insightful)
Bingo. Most guys marry ranting and raving self centered bitches. Good god, if she is not your absolute best friend first and the woman you adore with all your heart second, your marriage will either be a living hell or not last long. (Note you both better be very closely sexually matched as well. If you like it a LOT and she does not, you will NOT be happy in a short few months when she stops putting out.)
My wife is my absolute best friend. we do everything together because we want to. many of our married friends are freaked out about it but then I see them in very unstable and unhealthy relationships. (One has his wife lying to him all the time)
If she is not your best friend, YOU DO NOT MARRY HER.
Re:Save your money (Score:4, Insightful)
Well, what's the story. My wedding ring is Tungsten as well (I also highly recommend it) and would like to know. -Grey [silverclipboard.com]
Tungsten was originally known as Wolfram, hence the W, Wolfram because it came from wolframite ore. Wolfram meaning "wolf's foam," so called because the mineral consumed a large amount of tin in its extraction. [wikipedia.org]
Re:It's her day so... (Score:2, Insightful)
Not really. That's exactly the sort of wedding I had, and my marriage is stupendous. It's a matter of each person knowing what they want, and communicating it to the other. Both my wife and I have everything we want.
Shocking revelation.
Re:It's her day so... (Score:3, Insightful)
I've been married nearly 8 years, we've got 2 kids now, and we're very happy. Our wedding day was 100% about her. You kick thousands of dollars to a wedding dress maker to buy something she'll wear for 8 hours and a few hundred to rent a tux (or get it for free with enough groomsmen). Most guys don't care about actually being married, and those that do wouldn't mind heading down to city hall and filling out the paperwork to do it the easy way. The relatives want to see her in the dress -- that's our culture.
Our discussion about laundry is pretty straightforward: "Did you wash the whites today? Thanks, I'll fold 'em and put 'em away." Dishes are an uglier topic, but I think that's born from similar personalities as opposed to the prima donna attitude someone with little wedding experience might expect.
Comment removed (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:It's her day so... (Score:1, Insightful)
ALL women LOVE shiny things. No matter who they are they secretly want a giant diamond. If they say otherwise, they're lying to make you feel better. The marketing hype is set and women are drinking the koolaid. You can find a nice 1.48ct J color SI2 that will look fantastic online if you look hard. Nobody focuses on cut and cut is *everything*. Getting the giant rock at a great price shows you really care (it's the time that really matters. Going to the mall and buying the first thing you see and getting ripped off is not caring). Notice the ct value - There is a premium for going above the magic humps. Have fun blowing a bunch of money. It's only 3 months of your life after all. Her diamond is my motorcycle. We don't understand each other but we've embraced each other.
Re:It's her day so... (Score:4, Insightful)
and any woman worth marrying will slap you hard for buying her such frivolity.
I'm not so sure about that.
First off, I am married and my wife and I are not materialistic at all. In fact, I'm the type of guy who would usually agree with this point. However, for an engagement ring (and other rare circumstances) spending a lot of money demonstrates selfless sacrifice. To do it all the time demonstrates idiotic sacrifice, but the rare occasion shows that you've put your own materialistic needs and desires aside in order to get something *REALLY* special for *HER*.
Of course the type of girl who expects that (ever, let alone on rare occasions) is not the type of girl worth marrying. Still, it doesn't mean there's no point, ever.
Re:It's her day so... (Score:5, Insightful)
Also, keep in mind that fingers do get larger during the normal course of life, so you will need to resize it anyway at some point in the future.
As a former EMT who has had to cut rings off people's fingers because of damage, swelling, etc...get something that can be cut by a normal ring cutter, or come to terms with the possibility of losing your finger.
...then you lose your finger.
If you get something that is much stronger than Gold, we can't cut it off if there's a problem. It will act like a tourniquet and cut off all blood flow.
A better idea- avoid diamonds (and rubies) (Score:2, Insightful)
Avoid (natural) rubies as well. The vast majority (90+%) come from Burma and enrich a regime that is happy to shoot Buddhist monks to stay in power. Again, synthetics are just fine.
Re:Irridium is forever....... (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:It's her day so... (Score:5, Insightful)
Someday you'll grow up and realize that this is a pretty much universal truth that reflects not one bit on how selfish the girl might be.
Re:It's her day so... (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:It's her day so... (Score:2, Insightful)
Princesses are the female equivalent of nerds.
You might as well have the groom demand that the girl construct her own lightsaber and give it to him as a wedding gift.
A woman who wants a perfect wedding, needs to stop watching old Disney movies, and grow up. All this fairytale nonsense is simply because of the TV shows and movies we all watched when we were growing up. It has nothing to do with anybody's real life. Pure fantasy. Watch the island to see this idea taken to it's absurd extreme.
Don't spend money on symbols (Score:3, Insightful)
If you are getting married soon don't spend money on extremely expensive symbols of your affection. Save your money for real things like children. In these uncertain times when we live on the edge of great change, you should put aside money for emergencies, financial reversals, and unforeseen circumstances.
Blowing a huge sum of money on what is basically a symbolic gesture will seem insane if five years from now you are married, lose your job for some reason that is not your fault, and have a child that develops a medical problem that is not covered by ever-shrinking medical insurance. Marriage is the time when people affirm to their spouses that they will stop doing insane things. If you have the money now for an rare-metal ring, then invest it in conservative Euro-denominated stocks. Give this to your new wife instead. Believe me, she will appreciate it more than an ring that costs five figures now but will only bring four figures in an emergency sale.
Re:I fear hundreds of us are married losers :( (Score:3, Insightful)
Marriage is what you make of it and who you marry. I see 40-50 yr old single schleps all the time and certainly would rather be married. If you're that bad off, you should get a divorce and find a better chick.
Re:It's her day so... (Score:3, Insightful)
An engagement ring is something that tells her female friends about his social status and commitment to her. It's not frivolity except inasmuch as all social status markers are--which is to say it is functionally frivolous, but you'd better be willing to accept the negative consequences if you don't conform.
Re:Guaranteed success (Score:2, Insightful)
I agree if it's an occasional few months because of circumstances beyond your control. But I think that Lumpy was talking about women who like sex a lot less than you and an ensuing lifetime of sexual unsatisfaction. That would be a bad thing that could have been avoided.