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Any Suggestions For a Meaningful Geeky Wedding Band? 755

Posted by Soulskill
from the how-about-a-glow-in-the-dark-uranium-ring? dept.
mbutala writes "I am getting close to popping the question, and I've been racking my brain for an idea for a cool and unique wedding band. I've been thinking of contacting a company that can (possibly) fabricate a ring from pure Iridium (Ir) or a nearly pure alloy. It is the most corrosion-resistant metal known — it cannot be dissolved in aqua regia like gold or platinum. Iridium is extremely rare on Earth, and the high concentration of it at the K-T boundary in the Earth's crust is what suggests a meteor took out the dinosaurs. I am positive that the symbolism of the permanence of Iridium, the reminder that we are star-stuff, and the fact that the ring would be one-of-a-kind would really strike a chord with my girlfriend. It's a really geeky idea, so I thought I would run it past you all — what do you think? Any other ideas?"
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Any Suggestions For a Meaningful Geeky Wedding Band?

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  • It's her day so... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Gavin Scott (15916) * on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:11AM (#24807081)

    Just don't make the mistake of thining that any part of the wedding process (past the proposal) is about you :)

    The short answer is "whatever she wants".

    G.

    • by bughunter (10093) <bughunter@ear t h l i n k .net> on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:50AM (#24807423) Journal
      Also, make sure that it's sized properly. She ain't gonna be able to get it resized at Zales.
      • by GuyWithLag (621929) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:00AM (#24807493)

        Also, keep in mind that fingers do get larger during the normal course of life, so you will need to resize it anyway at some point in the future.

        • by dotancohen (1015143) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @07:14AM (#24808763) Homepage

          Also, keep in mind that fingers do get larger during the normal course of life, so you will need to resize it anyway at some point in the future.

          Why resize the engagement ring? In marriage there are three rings:
          Engagement Ring
          Wedding Ring
          Suffering

        • by darkpixel2k (623900) <aaron@heyaaron.com> on Saturday August 30, 2008 @11:05AM (#24810309) Homepage

          Also, keep in mind that fingers do get larger during the normal course of life, so you will need to resize it anyway at some point in the future.

          As a former EMT who has had to cut rings off people's fingers because of damage, swelling, etc...get something that can be cut by a normal ring cutter, or come to terms with the possibility of losing your finger.

          If you get something that is much stronger than Gold, we can't cut it off if there's a problem. It will act like a tourniquet and cut off all blood flow. ...then you lose your finger.

          • by YttriumOxide (837412) <yttriumox@gma[ ]com ['il.' in gap]> on Saturday August 30, 2008 @12:05PM (#24810933) Homepage Journal

            Actually, I'd sort of like to ask about this... serious question here...

            I got a ring when I was 12 years old from my dying grandmother (she gave rings to all her grandchildren, as she knew she didn't have long left). I put it on, and it fit well on my middle finger. Well, now it's 17 years later, and the ring is still on the same finger. Of course, my hands are much larger than when I was that age. There's no pain, no discomfort, and it's definitely not having any negative effects on the bloodflow, however it is now completely impossible for me to remove the ring - it is much smaller than the finger's joint.

            I don't particular want to remove it, but should I ever get married, I'll want to wear a wedding band of course, and having two rings on the same hand on fingers that are beside each other would probably be a little annoying. The ring can probably be cut quite easily (it's gold), but I think my finger will probably be quite deformed underneath it.

            In the case of a ring being removed after so long, does the finger ever regain a "normal" shape? (maybe not a question you can answer)

            Also, given this case, is my ring MORE likely than others to be a problem in the case of an accident that causes damage/swelling etc? (probably a question you're more qualified to answer)

            • by Seraphim_72 (622457) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:43PM (#24812411)
              I have two perspectives to this. One as a First Responder who managed paramedics for 13 years and one as a Machinist. First, get it cut off. When it is done any jeweler will be glad to repair it for you. Second, yes your finger will look like the others in a few months, maybe a year. You should always be able to remove your jewelry - always. God forbid that you should have to have an MRI and they cut it off then. Think of it this way: I would gladly lose a finger if it meant my grandmother would live another year, but I am the one that gets to make that decision, not her or anyone else.

              Sera
            • by R2.0 (532027) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:44PM (#24812831)

              Have you tried some of the tricks? First, lubricant. If that doesnt work, one trick I hear was to take a spool of thread and start wrapping the thread around your finger, starting above the knuckle and moving toward the ring. This compresses your skin evenly. When you get close to the ring, cut off the thread and feed it under the ring. Now start unwinding the thread. The unwinding thread will push the ring up over your wrapped knuckle very slowly.

              Or just cut the SOB off.

      • by Das Modell (969371) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:44AM (#24807809)

        I get resizing offers in my e-mail all the time.

      • by lordofthechia (598872) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @04:04AM (#24807937)

        resized at Zales.

        Suggestion 2, don't buy the ring at Zales, (or any mall store for that matter). They do have some nice designs, but they pass on very low quality diamonds (usually SI2 [wikipedia.org]) onto their customers while charging a much higher price. Note that most reputable places won't even sell SI2 diamonds as imperfections and flaws (like a chunk of black carbon) can be seen by the naked eye and grossly affect the diamonds fire (amount of light that is reflected internally then broken apart in a prismatic effect and sent back out to the eye).

        I know this because the first ring I got my wife was from Zales, but luckily they had a 30 day return policy ^_^ (I returned it before I proposed and got something much better).

        Now as to what to do,
        1. Decide what kind of ring, design, and materials best describe her and appeal to her tastes. For example, my wife is geeky, just like me, but does like sapphires, white gold or silver jewelry and can appreciate technology and such, so I endeavored to have a ring custom made with white gold, sapphires, and for the center stone I used a very geeky stone: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moissanite [slashdot.org]"> Moissanite . All and all it did cost me as much as much as a diamond ring, but it ended up being a beautiful, unique, and fitting ring (beautiful and geeky!).
        a) Find out what is her favorite cut or shape (or if she even wants a center stone)
        b) Find out what color metal she likes (it is a ring, and it is mainly a thing of beauty, so find out what metals she finds beautiful). Iridium does sound interesting.
        c) Find out what her favorite colors are, you can find stones in these colors (even "Cultured" or "Synthetic" diamonds"). And don't fall for the birthstone nonsense or even diamond engagement ring tradition (both marketing fabrications) [edwardjayepstein.com].
        d) Find out what type of band design (stone arrangement, etched designs, side elevation) she likes. Heck if she's a Lord of the Rings geek there's a even a band [ringdesigner.com] she may like!
        2. Now shop around, find a design that you like (don't settle for what's in the store), if you don't see it in a store, some can order it or make it. I ended up looking through literally over 2000 ring designs.
        3. Buy a loupe and carry it with you (they cost $10). Even if you're not buying a diamond, the moment a jeweler sees you with a loupe they'll know they can't pawn off crap on you.
        4. Shop around, pay attention to small but established stores in your area. Those will typically be able to accomodate custom orders.

        I wont' go much into stones since you just mentioned a band, but If you do decide to get a stone added into that ring then do your research. Find out if she'll care about a synthetic vs natural grown stone (don't confuse synthetic with simulant, a simulant is something that isn't the original but tries to approximate it, a synthetic is just a man made (or cultured) version. So the difference between a synthetic and a natural stone is just like the difference between say a banana grown in a jungle (in a natural environment) vs a banana grown in a farm or greenhouse, they're both bananas (except the synthetic product has less defects). If she's a geology freak she'll probably want a natural stone, otherwise it shouldn't matter. Heck even jewelers can't tell the difference between say a synthetic diamond and one that was pulled from the earth. Only diamond certification labs have the equipment necessary to tell the difference.

        Materials? Well Platinum is nice and valuable, but also easy to ding and hard to keep looking good. Titanium is very cool (and is what my band is made out of), and don't believe the FUD about it, it is safe, emergency rooms have equipment to cut through it if needed (they don't have to cut off your finger as one jeweler claimed....) . Gold

        • by thorngage (1354059) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @05:28AM (#24808315)
          Well I'm not sure about all ER's, but I work on an ambulance in an area with a major medical center, and we are often called to the hospitals because they don't have any ringcutters at all. Mind you, our ambulance ring cutters are basically a steel, handcranked can opener. It can cut purer gold fairly well, but even gold alloys can take close to an hour. I'm not exactly how we would remove a titanium ring, because titanium would break our ringcutter.
          • by lordofthechia (598872) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @05:53AM (#24808429)

            Ah, good to know that it may not be possible to do it onsite, good info, thanks! I remember the observation that something that would bend or distort a titanium ring would propably do horrible things to your hands if you didn't have that ring on in the first place. Regarding ERs, an article I read spoke of high speed saws (similar to a dremmel) that could cut through these rings. Snopes [snopes.com] is one among many sites that dispel this rumor.

            While I'm at it, I screwed up the link for Moissanite [wikipedia.org]. There's also the link for the company that produces Moissanite, however I really don't want to link to a flash only site... But JC Penney and some other local shops sell it (and have it to view in person). To the submitter, whichever center stone you choose, go for the beauty and durability. Even Sapphire (and Ruby), carbon coated Cubic Zirconia, Sythetic Diamonds [wikipedia.org] can make for a great wedding ring center stone. By the way, you can find synthetic diamonds in yellow, blue, red, and white. If you just Google for "Synthetic Diamond" you should get mostly good hits.

            Oh and make sure that Iridium is scratch resistant (or choose a finish that would better mask future wear and tear). Again in my quest for the perfect ring, I was dissuaded from going with platinum due to this one fact (and one very passionate jeweler who had the old platinum rings to prove it!).

            • by Awptimus Prime (695459) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @08:03AM (#24808995)

              I remember the observation that something that would bend or distort a titanium ring would propably do horrible things to your hands if you didn't have that ring on in the first place.

              I would be willing to go out on a limb and say the majority of jewelery being cut off digits is more likely due to tissue swelling, from things like diabetes or allergic reactions.

              In response to getting a "geeky" band, someone needs to get a reality check. Traditionally, the man is not supposed to have any choice in band selection, except choosing which credit card to pull out when it comes time to pay.

              It's also taking a big chance, as both parties will probably be quite a bit more mature in a few years, and probably regret not getting something with lasting value, such as platinum or a finer grade of gold. You can get a spectacular platinum band for men, for about $700, and a woman's set for less than $3k. Good ones feel like some metal of the gods due to the massive weight for such a small piece. Not enough to get make your finger tired, but enough to surprise people who have only held gold.

              As for scratching, gold will scratches and dings with ease. Jewelers who want to liquidate gold or platinum will change their story about which is best depending on what they need to get rid of that week. Meanwhile, both will likely need repair or polishing at some point in the future. A fine example is my father's wedding band, which he never serviced after 30 years, it's gold, but looks like someone wire-brushed it with a grinder at this point.

              Gold will also let go of diamonds a lot easier than platinum. Thus giving the jeweler a higher probability of stone resets and/or new stone sales over the life of the customer.

        • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 30, 2008 @05:49AM (#24808415)

          About the loupe: My parents have a jewellery store and I know a thing or two about diamonds and customers. When people run around with loupes they are: 1) people you describe trying to look knowledgeable 2) geologists/competitors 3)pawn shop people.
          How do we distuinguish 2&3 from 1: the way people look trough the loupe! In the diamond business, you look trough a lot of diamonds, and you that with both your eyes open, because it is fatiguing to keep one eye closed the whole time. Most one-timers don't know this, and clench their one eye shut, instantly giving us the signal that this person does not really know anything about diamonds.

        • No believe the FUD (Score:5, Informative)

          by NIckGorton (974753) * on Saturday August 30, 2008 @07:00AM (#24808707)

          Titanium is very cool (and is what my band is made out of), and don't believe the FUD about it, it is safe, emergency rooms have equipment to cut through it if needed (they don't have to cut off your finger as one jeweler claimed....)

          No. Believe the FUD. I cut off a titanium band once before. It broke my ring cutter and two others and took about a half hour total time (not including getting the fire department to cough up theirs) to get it off.

          It doesn't mean you shouldn't get one, but know what you are getting into. Also, if you wear a titanium band carry a small packet of antibiotic ointment in your wallet. If you clobber your finger or hand, get the ring off immediately and don't wait for the swelling to set in. If it won't come off, use the ointment to help. (The antibiotic part doesn't help. Its the vaseline that does the greasing, but they make small packets of the antibiotic ointment you can stuff in your wallet.)

    • by rossz (67331) <ogre@geekbike[ ]et ['r.n' in gap]> on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:00AM (#24807491) Homepage Journal

      I nominate this as the best advice ever posted on Slashdot.

      Every woman dreams of the perfect "fairy princes" wedding. Even the ones that say otherwise have that dream. If you are in any way responsible for that dream not coming true, you will pay for it for the rest of your life. It's nearly impossible to pull off that kind of wedding. Just don't be the fool who screws it up.

      My baby sisters wedding was screwed up by the bakery. They completely screwed up her wedding cake order and delivered a lovely green Irish derby cake.

      My wedding was in a castle in Europe (Buda Castle, Budapest). The women in my family have yet to forgive me for outdoing them.

      • by HazyRigby (992421) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:06AM (#24807527)

        Every woman dreams of the perfect "fairy princes" wedding. Even the ones that say otherwise have that dream.

        How silly. No, every woman does not dream of that. I got married in Vegas to avoid such a (to me) preposterous display, and I've never regretted it for a moment. I wore jeans. It took about fifteen minutes.

        • by Rob Kaper (5960) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @05:40AM (#24808377) Homepage

          There you are! That was a helluva night.. shame we never saw each other since. :(

        • by garett_spencley (193892) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @11:09AM (#24810345) Journal

          Why get married at all ?

          This isn't a troll, I'm really interested in having the discussion with someone who chose a small 15-minute in-jeans ceremony. Because, I consider myself to be married, yet legally my wife and I are common-law. We've been living happily together for 10 years, have 2 wonderful daughters and don't need a ring or a legal document to make us secure in our relationship. I don't see the point in a huge ceremony but I don't see the point in a small vegas 15 minute wedding either. So just out of personal interest, what did marriage do for you and your husband that living common law would not ?

          • by YoungHack (36385) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:25PM (#24812279)

            Why get married at all ?

            This isn't a troll, I'm really interested in having the discussion with someone who chose a small 15-minute in-jeans ceremony. Because, I consider myself to be married, yet legally my wife and I are common-law. We've been living happily together for 10 years, have 2 wonderful daughters and don't need a ring or a legal document to make us secure in our relationship. I don't see the point in a huge ceremony but I don't see the point in a small vegas 15 minute wedding either. So just out of personal interest, what did marriage do for you and your husband that living common law would not ?

            I'd have felt the same way before my wife had a stroke. As her husband, the family medical leave act guaranteed me job flexibility to help her do rehab. Even before that, at the hospital, I had influence on her medical treatment and access to the doctors and staff that no other family member had.

            It isn't that you can't have some of this with other legal documents, like durable power of attorney for medical decisions (more valuable in my opinion than a living will). But it is something that comes with marriage that I would guess you probably don't have. When you need it, the value is without price.

      • by Carthag (643047) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:15AM (#24807581) Homepage

        My parents got married at town hall during lunch break and didn't get rings until 20 years later. True love doesn't give a shit about retarded money showers.

      • by Mistshadow2k4 (748958) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:22AM (#24807617) Journal

        Every woman dreams of the perfect "fairy princes" wedding.

        No we don't! I'm so tired of seeing that stereotype in every movie or tv series that so much mentions a wedding. If I were to get married again, I'd prefer a simple wedding ceremony outdoors (with buglights, of course). No annoying and expensive wedding gown, no juggling a list of invites, no big reception, no BS. Just something nice.

    • by ILongForDarkness (1134931) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @05:31AM (#24808339)
      Every woman I've ran into has some concept of how the process will go. Some more than others. Is your girlfriend the type that if you ask her about weddings and honeymoons has strong opinions about the type of dress, number of people, whether in a church or not etc etc? If so then chances are she has an idea of the type of ring she wants too.

      Perhaps (if she has a friend that is tactful) see if her friend knows if she'd like it. Having a second person close to her say it is a great idea probably would be good to make sure. She may have discussed more about marriages with her friend (especially if you can find one that she was involved in, as chances are they talked for months about whether they liked the shoes, or the dress etc etc). Anyways extra points for creativity I think it is a great idea, hopefully she's open to it. Good luck :-)

  • two words: (Score:4, Funny)

    by saskboy (600063) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:11AM (#24807083) Homepage Journal

    Bucky Balls. Nothing says I love you like a ring made out of carcinogenic carbon nano tubes!

    Now in less carcinogenic flavours!

  • by Dwedit (232252) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:12AM (#24807095) Homepage

    If it's made out of Platinum-Iridium, you can make a wedding band which weighs exactly one kilogram.

  • Save your money (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Skyshadow (508) * on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:16AM (#24807133) Homepage

    My advice: Don't get too fancy. Titanium makes a dandy wedding band for a bunch of reasons:

    1. It's inexpensive. My ring ran something like $99, so I can afford to have a backup living in my filing cabinet in case I ever lose this one (people lose their rings all the time -- ask that one beach volleyball player from the Olympics this year). Also, if my fingers get fatter in my old age, I can replace the ring for cheap. Overspending? Not geeky.
    2. It's hard enough that it'll shatter before it deforms. Most ring-related injuries are a result of the ring bending into the finger. That's bad. My ring won't deform easily and will probably shatter before deforming, so I have a better chance of keeping my finger than someone with a gold wedding band. Inability to hit the "S" key due to a missing finger? Not geeky.
    3. It can be cut off. Hospitals can cut off a 6-4 titanium band, so if I ever injur my finger badly enough that it swells up I can, again, keep my finger and continue hitting the "S" key freely. See #2.
    4. It's light. I hardly know I have it on. This may or may not be a good thing, depending on what sort of person you are. It's also completely hypoallergenic, which I understand is different than simply nonreactive. Not having your ring cause you weird skin issues? Geeky.
    5. It's geeky. Go rent The Abyss if you have to. While I haven't stopped any hydraulic doors with mine, it is in perfect shape after four fantastic years. The finish gets a little scuffed, but it's still in perfect shape despite some significant abuse. You want geeky? I have "Don't Panic" inscribed in the inside of mine (and "Panic" inscribed in the backup ring I mentioned in #1). Sound advice, that.

    I understand the drive to be unique, but take it from me (I moonlight as a wedding photographer): Weddings are already stupid-expensive. You should get immediately out of the habit of overspending when cheaper and perfectly satisfactory alternatives exist. As for your other point: *all* rings are starstuff -- gold, platinum, titanium, whatever -- so your last point there is complete hyperbole. Again, not excessively geeky.

    • Osmium (Score:5, Funny)

      by cirby (2599) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:27AM (#24807247)

      That way, your wife can say, "It's very, very dense. Just like my husband."

    • Re:Save your money (Score:5, Insightful)

      by pcsnow (1353993) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:30AM (#24807261)
      I agree. My wife was so pleased that we did something different, well a little different, titanium. You might consider asking her in a very vague/hypothecal sort of way if she were to some day consider being married if she feels strongly about what sort of ring she would like or could she be pleased if someone might just surprise her. I think some girls like to be surprised and like being a little unique, but others would stomp on you if you gave them something other than what they have wanted all their fecund life.
    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by Mistshadow2k4 (748958)
      Titanium is a good choice also because it is hypoallergenic. Believe it or not, a person can become sensitive to metals as they grow older -- even gold or platinum.
    • Re:Save your money (Score:5, Interesting)

      by rossifer (581396) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @04:05AM (#24807943) Journal

      I went with Tungsten (actually tungsten carbide in a cobalt carrier, like 99% of tungsten rings), and though the list is similar, there are a few differences between my reasons and the list you gave:

      • Tungsten is heavier than gold.
      • The finish is incredibly durable. In 20 years, wipe off the fingerprints and the finish is a mirror again.
      • Hospitals can't cut it off, but most know how to break it (vice grips).
      • It's got the atomic symbol W and a strange story around that symbol.
      • Last but not least: it's a neutron reflector (pretty darned geeky).
      • by pbhj (607776) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @07:45AM (#24808899) Homepage Journal

        It sounds like you're buying a wedding band as an engagement ring (which I've not come across before, yet noone seems to have mentioned it).If your wife-to-be is going to wear any other ring alongside this one then you need to consider the relative hardness. With gold the higher carat value the softer.

        Also, if you've got a bad memory (like me) you might consider having the date of your wedding inscribed inside the band ... if your memory is really bad then get your wife's name put in there too. http://dot-jewellery.co.uk/commissions.php?c=emboss [dot-jewellery.co.uk] sounds like a nice way to do this, or something similar.

        I'd probably have gone for a Mobius strip if I was rich enough to commission a ring.

        Lastly, this is your gift to her .. I don't think you need to choose exactly what she would choose for herself. But, do remember the idea is for her to wear it for the rest of her life.

    • by nospam007 (722110) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @05:50AM (#24808419)

      >... My ring ran something like $99, so I can afford to have a backup living in my filing cabinet in case...

      Did you see that people?
      People with /. IDs under 1000 have even backups for their wedding rings.

  • Duh. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Gazzonyx (982402) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:17AM (#24807141)
    Geeky wedding band? Weird Al!
    It's all about the Pentiums, baby.

    ...Huh? Wrong kind of band?
  • Zircons (Score:3, Funny)

    by ultracool (883965) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:20AM (#24807167)
    Zircons are forever!
  • Advice (Score:5, Funny)

    by Musrum (779646) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:20AM (#24807173)
    Don't get your question posted on /. immediately after a story about a man killing his wife
  • Charmonium (Score:4, Funny)

    by xPsi (851544) * on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:23AM (#24807203)
    A charmonium ring would be pretty geeky and certainly impress the heck out of her. As the ground state of a charm and anticharm quark bound state, it is also amongst the most expensive materials on the planet, costing perhaps hundreds of millions of dollars and thousands of person-years to produce mere zeptomoles of the stuff. It not only has a nice moniker with the word "charm" in it, it is also a humble reminder we were once all part of a seething mass of quark-gluon plasma. Never mind the copious radiation that will be emitted as a ring-sized clump of the stuff rapidly decays on her finger. Ok, I'll shut up now. Iridium is definitely a good call.
  • by mpoulton (689851) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:24AM (#24807205)
    Our wedding bands themselves are not too metallurgically unusual (though the construction involves a difficult inlay made from palladium-gold alloy). However, my wife's diamond is extra geeky! It's an artificial blue diamond - a natural white diamond subjected to massive gamma irradiation in an industrial nuclear reactor or particle accelerator. The irradiation disturbs the crystal lattice and produces color centers in the diamond, causing a blue-green hue. She loves it, and tells the story to every geek she meets.
  • DU? (Score:3, Interesting)

    by MoFoQ (584566) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:25AM (#24807219)

    what about depleted uranium?

    it's super dense....and extremely long half-life (weakly radioactive...according to wiki)

  • titanium (Score:4, Informative)

    by Robbat2 (148889) <robbat2@orbis-terrarum.net> on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:26AM (#24807227) Homepage Journal

    My wife's engagement ring, plus our wedding bands are Titanium:
    http://titaniumrings.com/ [titaniumrings.com]

  • Guaranteed success (Score:5, Informative)

    by imasu (1008081) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:26AM (#24807235)

    Just pop the question with no ring and tell her it's because you want everything to be perfect and want to go pick it out together with her. Then let her have 100% say.

    Get used to this algorithm, you'll be applying it to all sorts of problems in the future. It even handles otherwise NP-complete issues with ease.

    Trust me on this.

    • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:14AM (#24807567)

      If you people are seriously marrying women with the intention of being doormats your entire lives, you will be a miserable, pathetic wretch long before she ruins you in the divorce.

      Any marriage based on "yes dear, yes dear" over and over again is an eternity in HELL. If you care even an ounce about yourself, you won't do turn into "that guy".

      • by Lumpy (12016) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @08:19AM (#24809097) Homepage

        Bingo. Most guys marry ranting and raving self centered bitches. Good god, if she is not your absolute best friend first and the woman you adore with all your heart second, your marriage will either be a living hell or not last long. (Note you both better be very closely sexually matched as well. If you like it a LOT and she does not, you will NOT be happy in a short few months when she stops putting out.)

        My wife is my absolute best friend. we do everything together because we want to. many of our married friends are freaked out about it but then I see them in very unstable and unhealthy relationships. (One has his wife lying to him all the time)

        If she is not your best friend, YOU DO NOT MARRY HER.

    • by Patrik_AKA_RedX (624423) <patrik.vanostaeyen@NOspam.gmail.com> on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:28AM (#24807677) Journal
      Clearly parent isn't married. In the real world women expect you to read their mind or at least know perfectly and exactly what they like and want.

      Please don't mod this funny. It's the sad, sad truth...
  • by bytta (904762) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:29AM (#24807255)
    Wedding advice on slashdot? You have got to be kidding...

    But seriously - A fancy ring is totally worth it.
    Mine is Palladium/Platinum split diagonally - looks mostly like silver but if you look closely you can see the brownish tint of palladium on one side. My wife thinks it's a symbol of how close we are (or something like that - I never listen to her anyway).

  • by Zencyde (850968) <Zencyde@gmail.com> on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:30AM (#24807265)
    If she's a geek, she's reading this. You probably shouldn't be posting such a question on Slashdot. Not to mention that this sort of thing comes from the heart. Do yourself a favor and disregard everything here. Go with what your gut tells you, not ours.
  • by spooje (582773) <spooje AT hotmail DOT com> on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:33AM (#24807289) Homepage

    Yes, nothing says eternal love like something that caused one of largest losses of life the Earth has ever seen.

  • Alaska (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:38AM (#24807323)

    I had a friend years ago who had been married 9 times when we lost track of him. Each time, he would disappear for months at a time to Alaska in order to kill a grizzly bear from whose bones he would hand carve a wedding ring for his wife-to-be. After the 4th bear, it became pretty clear that his marriages were an excuse to go kill go bears. They were all crazy hippy chicks, but none of the wives seemed to find it any less romantic that they were (nth) to have received a hand-carved wedding ring from the bones of a bear killed by the bare hands of their man.

    Go north, to Alaska . . . you know what you need to do.

  • by gzipped_tar (1151931) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:41AM (#24807343) Journal

    No matter how strong the material is, it changes with time.

    You should have understood the redundancy-reliability tradeoff.

    Get your redundant array of inexpensive wedding bands now!

  • E-beam lithography (Score:4, Interesting)

    by The Absurd Chemist (1329795) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:44AM (#24807375)
    My brother recently proposed to his girlfriend by doing the following: (caption from his photo follows, which I do not have permission to post)

    "Optical microscopy image of the engagement device under white light. The bare Si/SiO2 substrate appears violet while the metal (chrome/gold) artwork appears yellow. The artwork was patterned using electron beam lithography and metalized using thermal evaporation. The artwork was created using QCad, a linux-compatible free software alternative to AutoCAD."

    The image was the 2 of them sitting out in the wilderness watching the Perseid meteor shower and can just barely be seen with the unaided eye. He proposed while the 2 of them were out watching it, and it was also what they did for one of their very first dates. He took her out to the same spot as on their earlier date, then gave her the device, which I hear is going to be mounted in some kind of clear polymer and mounted on a ring or necklace.

    I will most definitely have a high geekiness standard to live up to when I propose or am proposed to.
  • Save money (Score:3, Funny)

    by Maelwryth (982896) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:45AM (#24807387)
    You can have mine.
  • by SoupIsGood Food (1179) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:49AM (#24807419)

    Your finger will likely not remain the size it is. You will lose or gain weight, so the ring will need to be resized. This will likely be a gigantic pain in the rear with an exotic metal like Iridium. It certainly is for titanium.

    Any halfway competent jeweler can braze in a new segment of ring, even one with a complex pattern, if it's made of a precious metal commonly found in jewelry. Most large jewelry stores or store chains will also offer free size adjustment of the band for life as part of the deal, or for a small fee at the time of purchase.

    Titanium is theoretically re-sizeable, but only smaller, as doing two small welds so close together are impractical: it needs to be welded in an oxygen-free environment. In reality, they're going to have to give you a new ring if (when) you need to re-size, as it's a lot cheaper to replace than repair. Likewise tungsten-carbide steel, which is also popular these days. I want to keep =this= ring, not have it replaced if something goes wrong. Stupid and sentimental, I know, but still...

    There's also the issue of medical emergency. If your finger swells up abruptly, due to injury or allergy, the hospital will need to cut your ring off. They have tools to do this painlessly and quickly with silver/gold/platinum bands, but things get tricky with tougher stuff, like tool-grade steel, titanium, and, I'd imagine, iridium. What was a minor medical procedure is now a medical emergency requiring tools that the hospital may not have.

    It was a hard choice, as there are a ton of cool carbon fiber and titanium wedding bands out there, but I found a two-tone gold band with a nice herringbone pattern. It's unusual, comfortable, and can be cut and resized as needed. It's not as cheap as titanium, carbon fiber or tool-grade tungsten-carbide, but it will be easier to maintain.

    If you want =really= unusual, I have a friend who had his tattooed on. Now that's commitment.

  • by Medievalist (16032) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @02:59AM (#24807485)

    My dad has a platinum wedding band.

    After he'd been wearing it a couple decades, one day he slipped and started to fall in a parking lot. His hand was resting on the top of a metal fence post, and as it slipped off, the metal rod clamped to the post (that held a run of chain-link fence to it) found its way between his finger and the ring.

    The ring was well fitted, so when the steel was deflected inwards by the stronger platinum, gravity caused the steel to slice him to the bone. Then he was hanging by one damaged finger with his full weight held by the steel rod inside the ring.

    If you calculate the strength of your wife's finger joint relative to her weight (and she's not barsoomian or emaciated or something) you'll see that the next thing that happens is the finger pops right off. Luckily for my dad, he is quite strong, so he grabbed the chain-link with his other hand and only got his finger stretched to un-natural length.

    The doctors fixed it, so it wasn't as bad as getting your silk tie caught in a generator, but it was still a real wake-up call. Unbreakable ring on breakable finger has a very bad failure mode.

    Get her a really nice soft metal ring with a beautiful design. High-carat gold is really much redder than the common stuff - it's noticeably prettier - and you can always inlay it with something that's not a continuous band.

  • by mellon (7048) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:03AM (#24807511) Homepage

    You might want to read the article. Iridium may not dissolve when exposed to aqua regia, but it's too brittle to machine. Bodes ill.

    Consider getting a ring made of damascus steel. Just make sure they've smoothed off the rough edges first. Rings made this way are quite beautiful.

  • by surfcow (169572) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:05AM (#24807523) Homepage

    ... and she gave me a Token Ring.

    Honest.

  • Iridium Rings?! (Score:3, Interesting)

    by crowbarsarefornerdyg (1021537) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:12AM (#24807563)
    Sweet idea. I've already had a set made. It was insanely expensive; I purchased the material myself, and finding a jeweler that was willing to work with the metal was difficult. In the end though, the rings turned out spectacularly. They're nearly indestructible, and look absolutely amazing. If you have the funds, I would recommend a set.

    FYI, Iridium is the most common hardening agent in Platinum for jewelry.

  • by HomerJ (11142) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:17AM (#24807599)

    Their wedding bands are going to be made of unobtanium.

  • by 1155 (538047) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:25AM (#24807655) Homepage

    If for some reason your future wife happens to need to get the ring cut off due to an accident, and the hospital cannot get the ring off with the tools on hand, they will cut off the finger. I found this out after speaking to two registered nurses.

    • by unkiereamus (1061340) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @06:30AM (#24808575)
      Okay, I work in emergency medicine, both in ambulances and in ERs. When I'm in an ER, I work as a tech, who are, you know, the people who actually cut rings off. Don't listen to RNs, most of them don't even know where the ring cutters are.

      So, having said that, first off, the likelihood of being able to cut off the ring is low, as every er I've ever worked in has one of these [ringcutter.com]. These things will in fact zip right through titanium (I know, I've done it).

      Now, iridium does have a much higher VHN (About 3x higher, in fact.) I've never tried to cut one with a ring cutter, so I don't know how it would do, but but I suspect it would work, just not as fast.

      Even supposing that it won't though. I've actually had the conversation with a trauma surgeon about what's next, and the answer is not an amputation, but rather they would make incisions along the sides of the finger and pull out the globs of fat which (along with the spaces between them) are what is actually swollen up in there, until the ring can be pulled off.

      Now, your finger would have scars on it, and it would look kinda funny for a while, but they wouldn't amputate it.
  • by Renderer of Evil (604742) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:31AM (#24807701) Homepage
    You can book them at

    apt-get install festival

  • by maunleon (172815) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:34AM (#24807727)

    Girls are girls first, and geeks second. I would say that even the geekiest girls have dreamed of traditional weddings, and would much rather have tradition over trends and geekiness.

    Just my $0.02. Do come back and tell us how it went.

  • mobius strip (Score:4, Interesting)

    by opencity (582224) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:35AM (#24807737) Homepage

    My parents wedding band was a mobius strip. I always thought that was cool.

  • Titanium (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Qbertino (265505) on Saturday August 30, 2008 @03:42AM (#24807793)

    AFAICT Iridium isn't the stuff you'd want juwelery of. It's to brittle and not very pretty. I suggest Titanium or monocrystallic Titanium - the stuff they make jet fighter turbine shovels out of. It's titanium with the entire piece being on crystaline structure. It costs quite a bit extra to get it that way, but it's even tougher than a normal piece of titanium.

    However, you should check if it can be cut with regular rescue tools in an emergency, as somebody here allready pointed out.

    All those material things aside - it's the love. If you get yourself and her a stainless steel ring with a synthetic diamond for 200 bucks, but are there for her when times are rough - that's worth quite a bit more imho. And a stainless steel ring can be cool aswell.

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