What To Do Right As a New Programmer? 662
globeadue writes "My company just tagged me for full time App Dev — I've essentially never coded for money, but the last 3 years of support desk gives me the business sense to know the environment I'll be coding for. Now my company will be training me, so I think the technical side of things will be covered, what I'm looking for is best practices, habits I should/shouldn't develop, etc as I take on my new craft."
Goto is good (Score:4, Funny)
Along with the ? : ternary opp.
Code that is hard to read means job security.
The IOCCC [ioccc.org] is a good place to learn style.
Sql Injection is a good thing. You don't need to escape user data before send it to the DB, users never do anything bad.
(Go ahead and mod me troll, I can take the hit. Note that this is actually a list of things NOT to do. Except goto is sometimes useful, for breaking out of a few layers of loops/blocks.)
Get out now (Score:5, Funny)
Get out, now, for the love of God, while you still can.
Er (Score:2, Funny)
Sometimes I wonder if the editors eyer bother checking the firehose tags for "tvpo" or "tvpoinsummarv".
Advice to increase productivity. (Score:5, Funny)
Don't read Slashdot at work. :)
Re:Always.... (Score:5, Funny)
circleForVehicleToMoveBetterThanDraggingWouldNormallyAllow
Re:Goto is good (Score:5, Funny)
Moral of the story: Even when you think a goto is OK, you will still get eaten by a dinosaur.
Re:Go with the flow (Score:4, Funny)
Learn by example (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Goto is good (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Go with the flow (Score:5, Funny)
Don't forget:
* Lots of GOTOs
* Delete those annoying REM statements
* Use weird, arcane variable names like 'ORGO' and 'FTOOMSH'
Good Luck!
Goto is good, gosub is better (Score:4, Funny)
There, fixed it for you.
Re:Get out now (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Go with the flow (Score:5, Funny)
For the complete list see how to write unmaintainable code at:
http://mindprod.com/jgloss/unmain.html
New Year's Eve Party (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Go with the flow (Score:3, Funny)
Clothing makes the programmer (Score:2, Funny)
Code in C... and nothing else... (Score:3, Funny)
Some simple advice (Score:1, Funny)
Remember "Profanity is the one language all programmers understand".
Re:Go with the flow (Score:4, Funny)
Some hints (Score:2, Funny)
Based on my experience, here's what you should become proficient in:
- Updating monolithic systems with functionality they were never meant for.
- Having lots of meetings. Lots and lots of meetings.
- Looking busy without actually being busy.
- Adding dots, commas, buzzwords and excessively overengineered language to technical documents.
- Taking really long lunches without anybody noticing.
- Getting told that you can't certain technologies because they're too new, and instead using even newer technologies because they were paid for.
That's about all I got. No, what? Of course I love my job. Why do you say that?