Can Static Electricity Generate Votes?

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Can Static Electricity Generate Votes? 377

Posted by timothy on Thursday October 02, 2008 @08:39PM from the dc-elections-crack-me-up-and-barry-too dept.

artgeeq writes "A recent local election in Washington, DC resulted in 1500 extra votes for a candidate. The board of elections is now claiming that static electricity caused the malfunction. Is this even remotely possible? If so, couldn't an election be invalidated pretty easily?"

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Can Static Electricity Generate Votes?

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My friends (Score:5, Funny)

by MillionthMonkey ( 240664 ) * writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @08:40PM (#25241039)

If I am elected, all charges will be positive.

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don't know about you guys... (Score:5, Funny)

by owlnation ( 858981 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @08:40PM (#25241055)

... but I'm shocked.

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The real question is (Score:5, Funny)

by Haoie ( 1277294 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @08:43PM (#25241073)

Is static electricity smarter than the average, uninformed voter?

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Religious Perspective (Score:4, Funny)

by Wowlapalooza ( 1339989 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @08:44PM (#25241081)

Nah, it's just all those Body Thetans trying to vote Xenu into office.
Nice try, fellas. Better luck next time...

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Static electricity has a right to vote (Score:4, Funny)

by burnitdown ( 1076427 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @08:44PM (#25241085) Homepage Journal

In addition, it's smarter than many of the voters.

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Re:The real question is (Score:5, Funny)

by MillionthMonkey ( 240664 ) * writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @08:45PM (#25241095)

Yes but it's more biased.

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This Just In (Score:5, Funny)

by ThanatosMinor ( 1046978 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @08:47PM (#25241117)

The Carpeted Man wins the general election by a whopping 6.88x10^89 votes! It was surely a shrewd maneuver to choose a Van de Graaff generator as his running mate!

This is one for the record books, folks.

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Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

by The Redster! ( 874352 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @08:52PM (#25241155)

Now that's charge I can believe in!

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Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

by n dot l ( 1099033 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @08:53PM (#25241169)

If I am elected, all charges will be positive.
Ladies and gentlemen, my opponent wants to take away your electrons! If you value your molecular bonds - and what true patriot doesn't? - you will vote against these anti-electronist policies!

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GOOD (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @08:57PM (#25241195)

I'm tired of all this damn negativity in politics nowadays.

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What's in a word? (Score:4, Funny)

by martyb ( 196687 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @08:57PM (#25241199)

The title to the linked article is: 'Static' Blamed for D.C.'s Extra Votes Snafu
<Inigo_Montoya_mode>
You keep using that word [wikipedia.org]. I do not think it means what you think it means.
</Inigo_Montoya_mode>

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My fellow Americans! (Score:3, Funny)

by fishthegeek ( 943099 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @09:02PM (#25241237) Journal

In this charged election cycle it is imperative that our current resistance to voting be overcome by taking the time to cool things off.

Mr. OhmBama is conducting himself fluidly and we must expand our internal capacitors to make sure that our output never fluctuates.

You already know that when the heat is on the resistance will increase! Be ready! We have a lot of ground to cover and we must always be careful not to take short cuts to that ground to avoid catastrophe.

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Re:My friends (Score:2, Funny)

by msauve ( 701917 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @09:10PM (#25241285)

Electrons have rights, too, you know.

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Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

by Aranykai ( 1053846 ) writes: <slgonserNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Thursday October 02, 2008 @09:24PM (#25241367)

Whomever is elected, I'm sure sparks will fly.

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That's how ye're gonna report it, boy... (Score:3, Funny)

by Nefarious Wheel ( 628136 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @09:25PM (#25241371) Journal

"What we have here..." *THUMP* "...is a failure to communicate."

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Yes (Score:4, Funny)

by John.P.Jones ( 601028 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @09:26PM (#25241379)

Static electricity generally has very high voteage, but not much power, due to a small current.

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Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

by BronsCon ( 927697 ) writes: <social@bronstrup.com> on Thursday October 02, 2008 @09:27PM (#25241385) Journal

This electron was rigged!

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Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @09:28PM (#25241389)

Let's not let this go negative now....

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Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

by rubycodez ( 864176 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @09:33PM (#25241419)

just as long as you're not advocating any of that ungodly same-charge attraction and strong force coupling, that queer stuff needs to stay in the closet, dammit!

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Re:don't know about you guys... (Score:4, Funny)

by Tumbleweed ( 3706 ) * writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @09:35PM (#25241425)

... but I'm shocked.
I'm feeling positively negative about this year's election.

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Re:Solution? (Score:5, Funny)

by Tumbleweed ( 3706 ) * writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @09:37PM (#25241449)

Paper ballots?
Chad disagrees. Ask him yourself - he's hanging out around here somewhere.

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Lets get down to Watts what! (Score:5, Funny)

by Banquo ( 225167 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @09:47PM (#25241497)

As the third party candidate, I'd just like to say that I'm completely grounded and I won't charge you AT ALL. Those other candidates say that a vote for me is throwing your vote away, but I say they cause Washington to be so polarized that nothing will get done.
Sure they talk about delivering a path of least resistance, but I think there is a path which will save us from charge and discharge alike.
(Also those other two guys support Islamist free radicals, and decreasing the capacitance of the middle class)
I'm the Thane of Lochaber and I support this message

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Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

by Walkingshark ( 711886 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @10:02PM (#25241573) Homepage

I must agree! I, for one, believe that Shroedinger's closet must stay closed, so that anyone inside can remain both gay and not-gay simultaneously, thus preventing a collapse of the state!

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Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

by Shikaku ( 1129753 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @10:05PM (#25241591)

You have no ground!

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Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

by IdahoEv ( 195056 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @10:27PM (#25241677) Homepage

This story has potential!

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Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @10:30PM (#25241693)

Well whatever. I want my Malibu Palin Doll.

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Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

by BronsCon ( 927697 ) writes: <social@bronstrup.com> on Thursday October 02, 2008 @10:40PM (#25241739) Journal

You don't find it at all shocking, do you?

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Re:Valid election? (Score:3, Funny)

by morgan_greywolf ( 835522 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @10:48PM (#25241787) Homepage Journal

Well, I call it the terrorist number. Because only terrorists would want elections that couldn't be fixe....errr...'adjudicated'!

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So let it vote then (Score:3, Funny)

by vandan ( 151516 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @11:06PM (#25241883) Homepage

With half of US voters not bothering to turn up, and the other half voting for the 2-party system, I think the entrance of static electricity to the mix would be a breath of fresh air.

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Re:The real question is (Score:3, Funny)

by Roger W Moore ( 538166 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @11:08PM (#25241891) Journal

True. Thanks to parity violation a majority of the electrons will be left-handed so presumably they voted for the left wing candidate?

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Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

by theMoleofProduction ( 842123 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @11:19PM (#25241957) Homepage

If current events are any indication, Joule see that despite E-voting's high capacitance for abuse the resistance will never get their Faraday in court. Charges against those in power will simply be dismissed by the judges they appointed.

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Re:My friends (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @11:20PM (#25241963)

We'll be gettin' back to ya on that!

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Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

by KGIII ( 973947 ) * writes: <uninvolved@outlook.com> on Thursday October 02, 2008 @11:20PM (#25241967) Journal

Ohm my God! Don't you know that 2/3 of pun is actually P.U. and joule go to hell for one that bad.

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Re:My friends (Score:1, Funny)

by paul_nz ( 705391 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @11:24PM (#25241985)

hey, can I get a 9 Vote battery around here?

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Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

by QRDeNameland ( 873957 ) writes: on Thursday October 02, 2008 @11:40PM (#25242063)

Now that's going too far, a day later I may feel differently, though.

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Shuffling feet.. (Score:5, Funny)

by JoeCommodore ( 567479 ) writes: <larry@portcommodore.com> on Thursday October 02, 2008 @11:41PM (#25242077) Homepage

I wonder how many mod points can I generate if i just touch thi

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Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

by jd ( 1658 ) writes: <[moc.oohay] [ta] [kapimi]> on Friday October 03, 2008 @12:00AM (#25242173) Homepage Journal

But in order to end up with positive charge, you've got to have an equal amount of negative campaigning. Though vinyl floors and extremely dry air can work as well.

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Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

by pureevilmatt ( 711216 ) writes: on Friday October 03, 2008 @12:00AM (#25242175)

oh my god, i've just suffered a pun overload.

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Re:My friends (Score:3, Funny)

by stonedcat ( 80201 ) writes: <hikaricore [at] gmail.com> on Friday October 03, 2008 @12:17AM (#25242255) Homepage

In case anyone was pathetic enough to miss the joke, parent bolded the letters for you.
Having read this comment if you still don't understand, well then you belong in a cage.

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Re:My friends (Score:3, Funny)

by Duhavid ( 677874 ) writes: on Friday October 03, 2008 @12:25AM (#25242303)

Whoever is elect-rocuted....

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Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

by Duhavid ( 677874 ) writes: on Friday October 03, 2008 @12:26AM (#25242307)

Maybe if they kept up on current events?

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Re:My friends (Score:3, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday October 03, 2008 @12:28AM (#25242319)

My fellow Americans: You can know where my opponent stands on an issue, or you can know where he's going, but you can't know both.

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Re:The real question is (Score:4, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday October 03, 2008 @12:34AM (#25242349)

This is the USA. There is no left wing. Just a right wing and a far right wing.

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Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

by KGIII ( 973947 ) * writes: <uninvolved@outlook.com> on Friday October 03, 2008 @01:21AM (#25242553) Journal

I didn't have the capacity to resist. No matter watt I try, I just keep making bad puns though I'm sure I'll be charged eventually. I'm not sure what ion besides beer. Stupid beer.
*goes and hangs himself in shame*

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Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

by Fluffeh ( 1273756 ) writes: on Friday October 03, 2008 @01:28AM (#25242587)

I don't think I have ever seen a thread modded more funny than this one. It's like all the mods were humor deprived today :)

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Re:This Just In (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday October 03, 2008 @01:36AM (#25242623)

Correction: The Carpeted Man wins the general election by a whopping 6.88x10^89 volts!

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Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday October 03, 2008 @03:02AM (#25242915)

Obviously, the problem has to do with voting in D.C. If they'd voted in A.C. both parties would have received equal votes, thus ensuring a neutral result.

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Re:My friends (Score:3, Funny)

by Hognoxious ( 631665 ) writes: on Friday October 03, 2008 @05:25AM (#25243519) Homepage Journal

He should stay in it for a day.

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Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

by Hognoxious ( 631665 ) writes: on Friday October 03, 2008 @05:31AM (#25243551) Homepage Journal

Does D.C. stand for District of Coulombia?

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Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

by BronsCon ( 927697 ) writes: <social@bronstrup.com> on Friday October 03, 2008 @05:36AM (#25243575) Journal

If there's no D.C. offset, the vote will have to be recounted.ÂPoles will have to be held again if the recount confirms lack of bias.

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Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

by Hognoxious ( 631665 ) writes: on Friday October 03, 2008 @07:46AM (#25244125) Homepage Journal

This thread is in a terminal decline.

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Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

by marcosdumay ( 620877 ) writes: <marcosdumay@gma[ ]com ['il.' in gap]> on Friday October 03, 2008 @08:10AM (#25244247) Homepage Journal

Nothing against strong force coupling, as long as direct observation of it is not possible.

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Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

by JuicyBrain ( 977451 ) writes: on Friday October 03, 2008 @09:21AM (#25244821)

You have my volt !

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Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

by hanshotfirst ( 851936 ) writes: on Friday October 03, 2008 @10:10AM (#25245457)

This electron was rigged!
No, you're just observing the spin from a different point of reference.

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Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

by spun ( 1352 ) writes: <loverevolutionary.yahoo@com> on Friday October 03, 2008 @10:35AM (#25245891) Journal

I thought it was called Caribou Barbie?

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Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

by Stanistani ( 808333 ) writes: on Friday October 03, 2008 @10:38AM (#25245931) Homepage Journal

I'm holding out for the monkey candidate - the traditional poo-flinging American choice.
Howler in '08!
(apologies to non-American readers)
*Screech*

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Re:My friends (Score:3, Funny)

by Intron ( 870560 ) writes: on Friday October 03, 2008 @11:23AM (#25246647)

Yes. There have been 1500 extra 'funny' moderations in this thread.

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There may be more comments in this discussion. Without JavaScript enabled, you might want to turn on Classic Discussion System in your preferences instead.

My friends (Score:5, Funny)

don't know about you guys... (Score:5, Funny)

The real question is (Score:5, Funny)

Religious Perspective (Score:4, Funny)

Static electricity has a right to vote (Score:4, Funny)

Re:The real question is (Score:5, Funny)

This Just In (Score:5, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

GOOD (Score:5, Funny)

What's in a word? (Score:4, Funny)

My fellow Americans! (Score:3, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:2, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

That's how ye're gonna report it, boy... (Score:3, Funny)

Yes (Score:4, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

Re:don't know about you guys... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Solution? (Score:5, Funny)

Lets get down to Watts what! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Valid election? (Score:3, Funny)

So let it vote then (Score:3, Funny)

Re:The real question is (Score:3, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:1, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:1, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

Shuffling feet.. (Score:5, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:3, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:3, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:3, Funny)

Re:The real question is (Score:4, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

Re:This Just In (Score:1, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:3, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:5, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:4, Funny)

Re:My friends (Score:3, Funny)

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