Best Way To Clear Your Name Online? 888
Posted
by
timothy
from the name-on-the-watchlist dept.
from the name-on-the-watchlist dept.
An anonymous reader writes "About fifteen years ago, I did something that I've come to regret on a university computer system. I was subsequently interviewed by a Federal law enforcement agency, although no charges were pressed and I have no criminal record as a result of my actions. At the time, I discussed the matter with a friend of mine who went on to mention it briefly in a text file zine with a small distribution list. I've generally tried to keep a low profile online and until recently there's been very little information about me available from the major search engines. Unfortunately, that zine mention was picked up by textfiles.com at some point and mirrored across the world. I've tried to address this with the owner of the site, but couldn't get anywhere. Even if my name in the source file is altered, cached copies will continue to link me with my youthful mistake. Have any other Slashdot readers had a similar experience? What practical steps would your readers recommend to prevent this information from hurting me? I am concerned that future employers may hold my past actions against me should they look for me online as part of their screening process."
On reflection... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Not keeping low profile? (Score:5, Funny)
Suggestion (Score:5, Funny)
Just hack into the server hosting the offending item and... oh wait.
Well first... (Score:5, Funny)
First[1], you need to invent a time machine. Then you travel back in time and either convince your former self not to do it or you kill all the witnesses and destroy all the evidence.
[1] You can actually do it last, if you like. Or in the middle. Whenever. It is a time machine, after[2] all.
[2] Or before all. It is a time machine, after[3] all.
[3] Or before all. It is stack overflow near line 5. Bailing
Re:Not keeping low profile? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Not keeping low profile? (Score:5, Funny)
If interviewed by Federal law enforcement (Score:1, Funny)
Offer to help them steal a universal decryption chip. And grow some dreamy blue eyes, feathered hair and side burns to die for.
White-out, that's the ticket (Score:4, Funny)
I bought a used street sweeper and modded it with an extra tank on the top. I fill that full of white-out that I made myself in bulk from a secret family recipe (what can I say, I come from a long line of screw-ups). Then whenever I put my online foot in my mouth, I run out and hop in my "Eraser" and head off for my ISP's local datacenter... I whitewash the whole place top to bottom, and problem solved.
Re:Am I the only one.. (Score:4, Funny)
Yep, that bad ass hacks calculators! Do you know the turmail he could have caused! He should have been sent away for a very very long time!
Deny it, enter rehab and become born again (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Nothing you can do... (Score:3, Funny)
IMHO just as thre's a 7-year stature of limitations on law, so too should employers have a limitation on how far back they can dig. Anything that predates this decade should be irrelevant.
Sorry for the typos - I'm typing on a mac.
I'm not usd to this keyboard'
You're using a mac? Well, good luck on getting hired by MS for the next 7 years.
Who ya going to call... (Score:5, Funny)
Join Scientology. Then claim the files were posted online as a falsified attack by somebody that disagrees with your religious beliefs. The web site will be shut down in no time.
Phillip.
Re:welleee (Score:5, Funny)
No, just explain and they will typically understand. For example, my minor youporn issue was ignored by my current employer once I demonstrated that the whole goat thing was a result of misleading camera angles.
Re:Nothing you can do... (Score:1, Funny)
Fiteen years ago, a university computer system... (Score:2, Funny)
About fifteen years ago, I did something that I've come to regret on a university computer system.
EMACS? Richard is that you?
Re:The best thing you can do is post on /. (Score:5, Funny)
And that’s not all. In five minutes he will have had a rape party with a dozen monkeys while wearing a Borat style “swimsuit”, stilettos and a huge assblaster in 2004. ^^
Here's how (Score:2, Funny)
Legally change your name to John Doe, or something similiar. Then break into all the databases used for the name change, and delete the information. Just to make sure, kill everyone who knows you changed your name. Burn down your house, your parents house, all the schools you went to, all the places you worked, your classmates houses, the auto license bureau, the Social Security Administration, and anyplace that may have you old name on record or any photos of you.
If anyone finds this after that, you'll just have to say "that must have been another xxxx".
By the way, instead of doing it on a computer, wouldn't a table in an empty office have been better?
Re:you bet I've had similar concerns (Score:5, Funny)
I'd speak to your Doctor. I imagine you can get a prescription that will be covered by your insurance. Way easier than 'a friend of a friend' trying to find illegal ways of getting it under your name.
Re:welleee (Score:4, Funny)
More seriously: make sure you're okay with yourself if you do decide to appear on certain guitar in the shower websites. You never know which xkcd reading coworkers will say "hey, didn't you appear on..." and be correct.
You are screwed! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Nothing you can do... (Score:1, Funny)
sORRY i aM uSING wINODWS tO rEPLY...
Is that you, 4chan? (Score:1, Funny)
4chan in my slashdot? it's more likely than you think.
Copy, delete, new, paste (Score:3, Funny)
Copy yourself to the clipboard and then delete yourself. Create a new record and then paste yourself from the clipboard and save. You'll then have a new primary key, and references to the old you will be orphaned, or maybe even delete themselves depending on how serious the engine is when it comes to referential integrity constraints.
For chrissakes. (Score:1, Funny)
You're THAT starved for attention you submit a story about yourself to Slashdot, faux complaining about being judged for once being a self-styled 00b3r 1337 h4x0r and then when nobody clamors for more info about your wonderful self, you actually go so far as to post a link to the very info you pretend to be concerned about people finding.
Is your facebook page not getting enough hits or something?
Re:Depends (Score:5, Funny)
Did you rape and murder my sister while burglarizing her house 15 years ago?
Isn't it interesting that you're the only one asking that question? Why hasn't he responded to your question yet? Perhaps he has something to hide.
Re:welleee (Score:5, Funny)
Then you'll want to unplug the phone line from your modem. That way nobody can access your internet. Problem solved!
Re:I see the other end of this problem rather ofte (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Information Overload is your freind. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:How common is your name? (Score:3, Funny)
you can say "I'm not that guy, I'm sexconker on slashdot". everything will be fine then
Re:Nothing you can do... (Score:3, Funny)
It's like what Harlan Ellison said on Sci-Fi Channel: [...] judge me on who I am today"
An old brat?
(Sorry... Harlan's got a bit of a .. um.. reputation.)
Re:Nothing you can do... (Score:4, Funny)
Especially going from youth to adulthood.
If we're going to hold things against people forever, then practically everyone is a bed wetting cookie thief with poor motor skills who has to be told when to go to bed.
Everyone learns life by trial and error. If we can't accept youthful error then nobody is acceptable. Error might as well be considered part of the very definition of youth.
Quickly.. (Score:5, Funny)
Disinformation Services have been suggested (Score:2, Funny)
This topic came up in the 90s, back when there was an ongoing Cypherpunks movement discussing how technology was changing society and how to deal with it. Other than of course using pseudonyms and unlinkable multiple identities, there was also the suggestion of having a service that was constantly publishing disinformation about you, so that any bad stuff that was actually true was lost in the noise of internet trolls claiming that your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries and obsessing about how full of eels your hovercraft might be.
Re:Use it in the interview.. (Score:3, Funny)
That's exactly what he should do. We can help with this, but we need to know more about it.
Please post exactly what you did, and your real name. We'll sort it right out.
Re:Depends (Score:5, Funny)
Perhaps he has something to hide.
His nuts.