What Free Antivirus Do You Install On Windows? 896
Techman83 writes "After years of changing between AVG Free + Avast, it's coming time to find a new free alternative for friends/relatives who run Windows. AVG and Avast have been quite good, but are starting to bloat out in size, and also becoming very misleading. Avast recently auto updated from 4.8 to 5 and now requires you to register (even for the free version) and both are making it harder to actually find the free version. Is this the end of reasonable free antivirus, or is there another product I can entrust to keep the 'my computer's doing weird things' calls to a minimum?"
Re:Uh...Avast? (Score:3, Funny)
HAVEN'T gotten*
Gah. no preview = epic fail
Re:Install a linux of some sort (Score:2, Funny)
I had no idea there were other operating systems!
Antivirus 2009 (Score:5, Funny)
Excellent [buy v1agra] product. I haven't have any malware [|\|iger1an 419] detected since I installed it [install Antivirus 2009 today!].
Re:DBAN (Score:2, Funny)
I work for Geek Squad and what is fdisk?
A pretty good FREE anti-virus (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Uh...Avast? (Score:5, Funny)
::dramatic chipmunk::
Re:Ars technica review of MSE (Score:5, Funny)
Re:i stopped using avast because of popups (Score:3, Funny)
Re:buy a mac or install linux (Score:5, Funny)
Reinterpretation of "buy a mac or use linux" mantra every time someone asks for an Windows related advice in all too familiar car terminology:
Windows user: I have this $non-descript-japanese-model hatchback and.... ...
Pundit: Scrap that shit, get a Mercedes!
WU: Well, it's just this noise...
Pundit: Mercedes! Japanese cars are shit!
WU: I can't afford that - anyway I was saying...
Pundit: Then you have to go for a tank!
WU: A tank? WTF? Is this a car service?
Pundit: Or F22 fighter jet. It will happen sooner or later, sonny boy, you car is a piece of shit, it will fall apart any day. Why delaying the inevitable? Switch to proven quality!
WU: Uh... ok, I'll go with it. How do I drive a tank? How do I even get the fucking tank?
Pundit: It's free! You just have to join the military and pass the training and you're good to go!
WU: Can I drive it to work?
Pundit: Not really but who cares! It's rock solid!
WU:
And so on...
Re:Uh...Avast? (Score:5, Funny)
Because hearing "VIRUS DATABASE HAS BEEN UPDATED" is a moodkiller during sex.
Really? We use it as our cue to do the insane "monkey banana swing" position, which yes includes making monkey noises mid-coitus.
You gotta keep your lovemaking fun, know what I mean?
Re:Uh...Avast? (Score:1, Funny)
Must feel good to know that your wife and kids are virus free!
Re:Uh...Avast? (Score:5, Funny)
I respond by visiting the seedier parts of the internet looking for cheap thrills and free software/porn.
In a flash of understanding he responds, 'Oh, just like real diseases.'
I then proceded to show him where to obtain free porn without needing to visit the sites that were infecting his computer.
Change the language to French (Score:5, Funny)
HTH.
Re:Why free? (Score:3, Funny)
Based on my experience the last time I used Norton, you'd be better off with the virus.
Re:Change the language to French (Score:5, Funny)
"VIRUS base de données a été mis à jour"
I just said that to the wife in my best Parisian accent. I'm getting lucky tonight!
Re:Uh...Avast? (Score:5, Funny)
Where might I find one of these wives with the ability to natively run x86 code?
Re:Ubuntu (Score:4, Funny)
I installed the Ubuntu anti-virus and now everything looks different and my games and a bunch of Apps I use don't work!
Re:Change the language to French (Score:5, Funny)
My wife just heard the word VIRUS and threw me out of the house.
Re:Uh...Avast? (Score:1, Funny)
Stepford! they have a whole set
simple. (Score:2, Funny)
One virus
Two viru's
Re:I dont use... (Score:2, Funny)
Natural Immunity (Score:3, Funny)