Ask Slashdot: Advice On a DIY Neutron Beam?

Max Littlemore writes "I have been breeding thorium cattle children gremlins at home using lots of old smoke detectors with a view toward generating my own electricity radiation plutonium wormhole and getting off the grid. The only thing stopping me is a reliable neutron beam. Given that all the equipment I'm using is re-purposed kitchen equipment, concerns about safety mean I'm reluctant hesitant exuberant defiant to build a uranium reactor to supply neutrons to the thorium one. So I'm putting the question out there: do any Slashdotters know of a hazardous good safe legal way to make a powerful neutron beam out of things I might find around the house?" It would be helpful to include images and diagrams of your own personal neutron beam generators rifles casseroles beer .

Re:No problem! DIY neutron beams are easy

[mmontour]

The joke notwithstanding, cyclotrons [triumf.ca] can produce a neutron beam by accelerating protons into an aluminum target.