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Ask Slashdot: How Do I Get My Spouse To Start Gaming With Me? 550

Posted by samzenpus
from the time-to-play dept.
x_IamSpartacus_x writes "I've been a gamer for a long time (started on Nibbles in MS-DOS) and enjoy pretty much any good game. I can enjoy side-scrolling relics (original Prince of Persia, Win 95), to modern MMORPGs (stopped playing my 85 lvl Mage on WoW just recently, read on to see why), to a good sports game (Madden series are a blast) and many more. I've been married for 4 years now and have hardly touched my games since being married and starting having kids. My wife and I are Americans but live overseas and have little access to new movies/entertainment and, from experience, I know that a good game can provide much more entertainment than a good movie. My question is, what are good ways/good games that I can use to get my wife into computer gaming? We both have good laptops that I'd love to get her interested in using to do co-op or combative games with me. Because of my long experience, gaming comes naturally to me and so even on a game I haven't played I would probably be much better than she. Is there a game or idea that would take away the embarrassing factor for her of being much worse than I am while still being enjoyable and worth spending a lot of time on with me? Do any other Slashdotters struggle getting their spouse to game with them?"
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Ask Slashdot: How Do I Get My Spouse To Start Gaming With Me?

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  • Simple: (Score:5, Insightful)

    by x0d (2506794) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @11:38AM (#42639179)
    You don't.
    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by zachie (2491880)
      Simple: The Sims.
    • Re:Simple: (Score:4, Insightful)

      by dadelbunts (1727498) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:56PM (#42639889)
      What OP said. Unless she actually enjoys gaming you will have as much luck getting her into that as she would getting you into crocheting. If its a case of her liking games but being ashamed of her n00b status then thats different. Give her katamari, and tokobots. Anyone that beats tokobots is a good gamer.
    • ++

      Also, why do we still put 'gaming' in some special category? If I like watching movies, I don't call it 'moving', or if I listen to music, I don't call it 'musing'.

      • Gaming is a special category for several reasons. Far more people enjoy listening to music or watching movies than playing video games, or at least video games deeper than free SWF games on Newgrounds/Kongregate and 99 cent iPhone/iPad games. This means far more people are likely to buy the equipment than for playing such games. People may have bought a TV for sports, news, or political talk shows, and the leap from watching those to watching scripted series and movies is small. I can't think of any counter
    • by Muros (1167213)
      Indeed. Don't go there. I'm a longtime gamer, and I wish I wasn't. Not because there is anything wrong with my passtime... except it passes too much time. Instead of getting your wife to participate in your gaming, pick up a new passtime. Or maybe 10 new passtimes. You could brew all your own beer and an exciting and exotic range of wines, join a book club, take up a unisex sport like tag rugby, spend a little bit of time on having gourmet food every day... and still be out ahead timewise compared to playin
    • Re:Simple: (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday January 20, 2013 @02:48PM (#42640671)

      "I've been a knitter for a long time (started with wool on wooden needles) and enjoy pretty much any good game. I can enjoy crochet (original doilies, place mats), to modern patchwork (stopped sewing my 85 patch quilt just recently, read on to see why), to a good sweater (cardigan series are a blast) and many more. I've been married for 4 years now and have hardly touched my needles since being married and starting having kids. My husband and I are Americans but live overseas and have little access to new movies/entertainment and, from experience, I know that a good stitch can provide much more entertainment than a good movie. My question is, what are good ways/good patterns that I can use to get my husband into knitting? We both have good tables that I'd love to get him interested in using to do pattern or cross stitch with me. Because of my long experience, knitting comes naturally to me and so even on a pattern I haven't made I would probably be much better than he. Is there a pattern or idea that would take away the embarrassing factor for him of being much worse than I am while still being enjoyable and worth spending a lot of time on with me? Do any other Slashdotters struggle getting their spouse to knit or sew with them?"

  • You don't.... (Score:4, Insightful)

    by djsmiley (752149) <djsmiley2k@gmail.com> on Sunday January 20, 2013 @11:38AM (#42639185) Homepage Journal

    Either she'll game differently/better than you and you'll regret it.

    Or all your time becomes gaming time when your together and you don't end up enjoying it.

    • Re:You don't.... (Score:4, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday January 20, 2013 @11:43AM (#42639245)

      Either she'll game differently/better than you and you'll regret it.

      Or all your time becomes gaming time when your together and you don't end up enjoying it.

      djsmiley know of what he speaks.

      You will regret getting your spouse to game with you.

      Oh, you've got kids too? You will DEEPLY regret getting your spouse to game with you.

      • Let Me Explain (Score:5, Insightful)

        by Anonymous Coward on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:05PM (#42639469)

        Let me explain a little bit more...

        You know those hours that you spend alone, immersed in a game while you own n00bs in BF3 or while you wage some pathetic WoW or LoL quest? What is your wife doing while this is going on? Is she cleaning, making dinner, keeping the kids occupied or watching a movie, leaving you uninterrupted for your fun?

        Now, imagine she's gaming, spending hours immersed in a WoW or LoL quest, or worse still some ridiculous hours long farming stint. Imagine she's as addicted to that crap as you are. Who's cleaning, making dinner, watching the kids? I can tell you who won't be playing games for long stretches. I can tell you who won't be enjoying the fact that their spouse is gaming. You won't.

        The proper course of action is for you to spend a little less time gaming and a little more time doing group activities with your family. Then you can enjoy your uninterrupted game time.

        Regret, thy name is x_IamSpartacus_x

        • Re:Let Me Explain (Score:5, Insightful)

          by CohibaVancouver (864662) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:51PM (#42639841)

          The proper course of action is for you to spend a little less time gaming and a little more time doing group activities with your family.

          As a married guy with two kids under five I would largely agree, but I also think to some degree it depends on how much sleep you and your spouse need at night. My wife and I both need eight hours to survive, so between family stuff, cleaning, meal prep, bath time, bedtime stories and all that there's no time for games, other than 10 minutes of Angry Birds here and there. However, if you do fine on six hours (and by do fine I mean wake rested, ready to take on the day, not hitting snooze eleven times and then mainlining espresso just to stay alive) then I'd say that you probably have time for some gaming when the chores are done and the kids are asleep.

        • OP here.
          What I guess I didn't explain in the summary is that I DON'T game anymore since being married (and especially since having the kids). What I DO do is have 2 or 3 nights per week where my wife and I watch a movie or TV show on DVD together. I'm currently out of fresh movies and shows so that's why I'm looking for a game we can spend 4-8 hours per week on. Nothing addicted, nothing excessive, nothing even while the kids are awake (I have 3 under 3 and they go to bed by 7:30-8:00 PM). Just something
          • Re:Let Me Explain (Score:4, Insightful)

            by eharvill (991859) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @05:12PM (#42641565)

            My wife isn't much of a gamer (aside from a few of the IOS variety), but she took interest in the New Super Mario Brothers on the Wii a few years ago and has also enjoyed it on the Wii U, which has a few extra features to involve a 2nd person if you aren't playing in full co-op mode. She also starting getting into Mario Galaxy 2 as long as I was around to help her through some of the more challenging levels/bosses. About the only other game she showed any interest in was Plants vs. Zombies, which she has played on both the iPad and PC.

            Something else you might want to consider (if you haven't already) are board games. We got a few that we could play as a family, focused around games my 6 year old could play and surprisingly the wife really enjoyed Castle Panic. I think she likes the co-op and strategy/thinking aspects of it. She didn't care for Castle Keep and we haven't had a chance to break out Catan: Junior yet. You'll have more variety to choose from since you aren't looking for something that a young child grasp. I went this route as I was tired of playing Monopoly, Sorry, etc, "classic" board games.

    • Hold on, you forgot to list the many many other scenarios that arise when it turns out she just doesn't like playing video games. Thats what you really need to be careful of.
    • by 2phar (137027) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @04:28PM (#42641311)
  • by evil crash (739354) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @11:39AM (#42639193) Journal
    This is a decision you will soon regret. Go out and immerse yourself in the local culture, take the wife and kids. It's an experience you'll never have again, take advantage of that rather than cooped up at home.
  • Why game? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by CoreDump (1715) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @11:40AM (#42639199) Homepage Journal

    Why not do something active?

    Why not get out and explore the country that you are in with your wife and kids?

    • Re:Why game? (Score:4, Insightful)

      by DNS-and-BIND (461968) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:32PM (#42639699) Homepage
      Yeah, I can see you don't know expats. They interact with the local culture as little as possible.
      • Re:Why game? (Score:5, Interesting)

        by interkin3tic (1469267) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @03:16PM (#42640851)
        That's a weird generalization. Have you ever been an expat? The initial excitement lasts maybe a few weeks, you're still in vacation mode. Eventually though, you crave familiarity your R&R. Going out and sampling the local culture doesn't occupy the same space as leisure, it's just not relaxing.

        When I was living overseas, I spent every weekend going out and seeing as much as I could. Evenings during weekdays, on the other hand, I wanted to relax. I played a lot of CivIII and spent a lot of time IMing with friends back home. Working all day and then being a tourist or trying to have cultural experiences got exhausting to the point where neither was any fun.
  • by sco08y (615665) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @11:40AM (#42639201)

    Get friends together so she's not the only inexperienced person, and so she can take a break when she wants. Do stuff like Rock Band that is cooperative and easily adjusted for new players.

    • by Billly Gates (198444) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:11PM (#42639513) Journal

      I second that. MMOs have big cult followings among women.

      Women are just different. They are social beings. They want to integrate people and technology into their already existing lives. Not use it to get away as a stress reliever like men. The fact you need downtime makes them resentful. However if sheis included like in Wow has an appeal.

      • by sco08y (615665)

        I second that. MMOs have big cult followings among women.

        Women are just different. They are social beings. They want to integrate people and technology into their already existing lives. Not use it to get away as a stress reliever like men. The fact you need downtime makes them resentful. However if sheis included like in Wow has an appeal.

        Women are, in aggregate, different, but I wouldn't go so far as to assume that any particular woman is that way.

        What we do know is she's not a gamer, and that's more than just not knowing how the console works.

        If it's a movie one person in a relationship doesn't like, they can zone out or just snuggle. With gaming, though, it's very different because if both parties aren't playing, the game is over.

        Aside from the frustration of learning the game, not being good at it sucks, and losing sucks. You have to lea

      • by gregor-e (136142)
        In general, males are easier to hook into gaming because we're hardwired by evolution to respond to fight-or-flight, competitive, adrenaline-soaked combat. Those are really easy scenarios for developers to concoct. The rapid onset of these adrenaline rushes make these experiences much more addictive than other game reward activities. Females are more hardwired to gain reward from slower activities such as resource gathering, nurturing and social interaction. These are much slower rewards and are therefo
  • Clueless (Score:5, Funny)

    by mspohr (589790) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @11:41AM (#42639211)

    The cluelessness of the nerd knows no bounds.

    • Re:Clueless (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:56PM (#42639887)

      This. A thousand times this.

      I used to work for NGOs in India, China, and Vietnam. While the marriages lasted when the women also worked in development, not once did I see a marriage last in rural Asia when the woman was a SAHM or a teacher.

      Try thinking about it from a different perspective for a minute. Would you want to game if you had, essentially, two jobs -- yours and housework/childcare? How would you have any energy for it? Keep in mind that living overseas tends to be much rougher on Western (and particularly American) women than on men. This is triply true if you're in a non-Western country. People in all the non-Western nations I've worked in to view American women as the women from SATC and harass us whenever we leave the house by ourselves. It's unpleasant, dangerous, and emotionally draining.

      And remember, doing twice as much work as your father does not equal doing the same amount of housework and childcare as your wife. If you want her to game, try actually doing the same amount of work as she does. Then maybe she'll have enough energy for it.

      You may actually save yourself money on a divorce in a few years, too. I've heard the OP's story dozens of times, and marriage does not sound like it's in good shape and the OP's not understanding what's really going on -- at all. He doesn't need to play games with his wife -- he needs marriage counseling. Back in the States.

  • I think the Shii would be good option!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKwI4GP4seM [youtube.com]

  • I think its as simple as playing a game that is very *fun* and then playing another game that is very *fun* and there you have it. Start with Portal 2 (great co-op for any skill level) and then continue looking for good Co-Op games.
  • by gatorBYTE (93755) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @11:47AM (#42639277)

    Dude, I've been married for over thirty years and have never been able to get my wife into gaming... unless it was "Bubbles" on her iPhone or a simple solitary type game. She just has no desire to play and/or sees it as too much work. It is not fun for her at all; needless to say I am the exact opposite.

    • She just has no desire to play and/or sees it as too much work. It is not fun for her at all... I am the exact opposite.

      Before video games were invented, I found I was quite indifferent to the charms of pinball, foosball, and all that. Once my son started, against my advice, to play games, then I found an awful lot of enjoyment keeping him upgraded with all the latest system busses and chipsets. As I have aged, it's gotten to where cards and chess seem tedious and laborious.
      Lots of mutually exclusive activities in my spousal relations and I prefer that. Stone age societies have taboos to keep the women off on their own thing

  • Portal (Score:3, Interesting)

    by lattyware (934246) <gareth@lattyware.co.uk> on Sunday January 20, 2013 @11:48AM (#42639285) Homepage Journal
    Not only is Portal a great game, but I have lots of non-gamer friends who enjoyed it, plus there is a sequel with co-op. It's also extremely good at training people to play the game, and teaching it's core mechanics. New gamers often find starting off hard as most games presume so much knowledge of general gaming. Portal lowers that barrier to entry significantly.
    • by lattyware (934246)
      As a note, that's not to imply I am advocating evangelising gaming - gaming is great, and if she is (even slightly) interested herself, great. If she has truly no interest, then don't try and force her to get into it. It might just not be her thing.
    • by Ksevio (865461)
      I tried that, but it ended with a lot of yelling at 3 AM about how I must have intentionally dropped her into the poison water by removing the bridge.
  • Portal 2 (Score:5, Interesting)

    by jones_supa (887896) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @11:51AM (#42639309)
    Portal 2 has a nice co-op mode (video [youtube.com]), you solve the puzzles together. It could be fun.
  • by cheddarlump (834186) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @11:55AM (#42639359)
    Speaking as a gamer who got married and had kids, as well as somebody who lived overseas: Spend the time meeting your wife and kids in activities that THEY like,and explore the huge world around you IRL. The gaming will wait a few years, your wife won't feel abandoned in a foreign land, and when the kids get older, they'll love gaming with you (can be your "thing" with them). I have a gaming rig that I haven't even turned on in 2 months.. Sad, but time with the family is priority one for me, and I'll be honest in saying that there were many times I had to CHOOSE to make it that way, as my selfish feelings told me to sit in the basement many times. If your wife IS interested, I agree with above that Portal would be a good start, in coop mode.
    • I've been reading through these comments and most of them are either entirely negaitive or only partially helpful. You seem to have hit on the correct answer here, cheddarlump. Go out and see more of the local area, if you have done that then Portal is the usual recommendation to introduce non-gamers to gaming. There's always board and card games too, a gamer by heart doesn't fuss too much about the medium. :)
  • by sheetsda (230887) <doug,sheets&gmail,com> on Sunday January 20, 2013 @11:58AM (#42639391)

    Same situation here. I'm a hardcore gamer, she is not. In PC terms I have had success with Orcs Must Die 2 and Portal 2. I also tried Magicka but that didn't seem to be her to tastes. All are available on Steam. Portal 2's level editor provides a lot of replayability and we're currently working our way through Nightmare difficulty on Orcs Must Die 2. I got her to try these when we started doing "His/Hers nights" where each of us has 1 weeknight to totally dictate what activities we do that night (with the intent that whatever we do will be together). OMD2 has been so successful we've played it on a few of her nights or nights that or not either of ours.

    On the Wii the Lego series of games has been a huge hit, especially since she's a Harry Potter fan. Replayability is limited after you 100% each of them (number of hours varies, typically 20-40).

    All of these games are specifically 2 player coop.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward

      >> each of us has 1 weeknight to totally dictate what activities we do that night (with the intent that whatever we do will be together)

      A three-way?

  • Does she like pinball? or other stuff like gun games?

  • First of all, congrats on focusing on life outside of computers. Good on you.

    Next, to answer your question. How about liquidwar [ufoot.org]?

  • If she's willing to give it a shot then it probably doesn't matter what you start with or if you beat her every time (btw why play competitive games against her?). But if you are just "getting her to game" you're headed for disaster. Before I was married I tried to "get her to autocross" (driving your car in a timed run around cones in a parking lot) because whats more fun than throwing your car around in a safe environment with a bunch of other gearheads right? Disaster. She is not a speed freak. Right aft

  • by s0nicfreak (615390) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:03PM (#42639439) Homepage Journal
    Divorce her and marry a gamer.
  • by zifn4b (1040588) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:03PM (#42639451)

    Some girls don't like games but here are some to try that the female population seems to be more receptive to in my experience:

    Party Games: Guitar Hero, Mario Party, Wii Party, Scene It, Monopoly Streets
    Multiplayer Platformers: Mario Kart, New Super Mario Bros, Donkey Kong Country, Little Big Planet
    Puzzle Games: Bejeweled, Peggle, Hidden Object Games like Mystery Case Files
    Adventure Games: Back to the Future (big hit with my fiancee, we played through the whole thing)

    For the more girly girls, you might need to go with something with the "cute" factor. Little Big Planet is especially good at this one. You can put stickers on stuff and dress your sack boy/girl. It's also multiplayer. Co-op is usually a plus.

  • Easy: you don't. (Score:5, Insightful)

    by obarthelemy (160321) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:04PM (#42639461)

    You make time for gaming, and for doing stuff both of you like.

    I don't know what he/she likes that you don't, but what would it take for you to take THAT up ? Nothing doing, right ? same here...

  • I think your goal of playing co-op or combative games with her is a huge stretch for two reasons:

    1) Your wife isn't a gamer now
    2) Not every gamer likes co-op games or combative ones.

    You may be able to introduce her to gaming and get her started, and if you do manage to do that, she's going to need time to discover which genres she enjoys. Your experience will help her there, since you can introduce her to a little bit of everything. At the end of the day, even IF she does pick up gaming, you might have

  • It's not clear if she's already a gamer, but if you just want something to get her into gaming, I'd recommend games like Portal, Dragon Age: Origins, Skyrim, Neverwinter Nights, Diablo, and Starcraft. They are fairly easy to learn and play, and I think the heavy story components of DA:O and Skyrim make them newbie friendly (it's engaging and not constant combat, just make sure to start her on the lowest difficulty level). And you can do multi-player together on Portal 2, NWN, Diablo and Starcraft.

    If you wan

  • by Anonymous Coward

    I've been gaming with my husband fairly regularly since we got married nearly 20 years ago (although our gaming did drop off dramatically when our oldest was born until our youngest child was 5--little ones require lots of time!). As far as I can tell, his strategy was to figure out what type of game *I* responded to best, and then play those with me. Sometimes he'd play them solo first to get through the learning curve and be able to coach me when I needed it (though he was also kind enough NOT to coach me

  • GF is a gamer (Score:5, Insightful)

    by slaker (53818) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:10PM (#42639509)

    My SO is a gamer, but a different sort from me. She likes Xbox games, mostly shooters and RPG titles. The only PC game she'll play is The Sims 2. I primarily play role playing and real time strategy games.
    We found our crossover points in a couple different ways:
    1. We compete on silly casual games on our phones and tablets. Superiority in Bubble Shooter or figuring out a new way to make pictures of dicks relevant in Draw Something is treasured gaming experience.
    2. The PC gaming experience for games like Skyrim, Fallout 3 and Dragon Age is better, so we kind of play and make decisions together. I'm more of an explorer and she's more of an action junkie, but in practice this means that if one of us can't do something with our normal approach, it's time for the other to take a crack at it.
    3. Sometimes I suck it up and let her kick my ass in some kind of console shooter or Kinect title. I'll also sit out with her and read while she leans on me and plays Borderlands or something. It's kind of passive/introvert together time.
    4. We experimented with MMO-playing, but the MMO I actually like closed and she's not into WoW any more, so the motivation for that just evaporated. That actually worked pretty well.

    Mostly, though, we play different games and it's FINE. I do my thing and she does hers.

    • by slaker (53818)

      Oh, ALSO:

      Try not-video games. The board, card, or P&P role playing kind.

      My GF is quite a bit younger than me, so it turns out that YuGiOh and Pokemon are part of her geek DNA and she took to this stuff like a fish to water but many of my friends are reformed Magic: The Gathering Players in their late 20s to late 30s. No one quite has the time or resources to get back in to the addiction of collectible card gaming, but stuff like Cards Against Humanity, Nuclear War, Heroscape or Munchkin goes over really

  • by Nyder (754090) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:13PM (#42639527) Journal

    You have a post about what you like, but what does she like? Does she play video games? Does she play any non video games, like board games, sports? Is she competitive?

    It's not like video games are new, if she hasn't gotten into video games by now, she's probably not interested.

    I suggest you find something she likes, if she's into dancing, maybe a dancing game, or if she likes to rock out without real instruments, a guitar hero like game.

    Another question, do you do things she likes? Do you try to do the activities she's into?

  • Play something she may find interesting, and see if she lingers watching, showing interest, then offer. Or maybe she'll even ask to try. But if you push it too hard, she'll end up resenting gaming.

    I can get my girl to play Mario Kart sometimes, but other than that I just let her enjoy her own thing.

  • by vlm (69642) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:15PM (#42639545)

    Does it have to be computer games? Especially "real gaming" which is usually defined as boring WWII FPS sequels?

    You're overseas? Invite friends over to place some kind of euro board/physical game. Yes yes agricola takes 45 minutes to set up all the counters but there's plenty of lighter fare. Settlers of catan? Carcassonee? How about Dominion (a euro-card game)? Or strip-Dominion? Pretty much anything in the Rio Grande catalog?

    How about paper and pencil RPG? Yeah if you're overseas in Saudi Arabia they might get nervous about "magic" or whatever fictional religious aspects, but if you're in a civilized part of the world it should be no problem. Pathfinder or classic DnD?

    Plain ole card games? You're overseas so invite several locals over for poker night. Better yet if it works out rotate to each players house.

    There's a certain theme to the above... yes you can play all of the above "on a computer" but it works just as well in person and that's probably the way to pivot into "computer" gaming if you're the type where the UI matters more than the gameplay or if its occasionally just more convenient to play on a tablet while traveling or whatever. Example: if she likes playing euro-resource-type-games in person using cardboard like "powerline" or WTF its called, its a pretty short jump to Civilization / Simcity.

  • by mseeger (40923)

    I had the best sucess using Wii Sports Games where she would usually outclass me :-).

  • by reallocate (142797) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:19PM (#42639595)

    Consider:

    If your spouse enjoyed gaming, your spouse would already be playing games.

    If you convince/cajole/annoy your spouse into playing games, your spouse will, more than likely, do it just to please you and/or to shut you up on the topic.

    *You* think games are more interesting than movies. Others may not. (I watch few movies and think games are mind-numbingly boring.)

    If your spouse is bored and you are looking to help with that, good for you. But, expand your search.

  • ... Depends on which is preferred. A relationship is basically an act of prolonged negotiation and it's not good to let it break down. Negotiations (whether by kind words or bullets), involve some form of bartering. Not unlike most games either.

    But, seriously, just get together and talk about games for a start. If she loves you, she'll want to share that part of your life since it's clearly a significant part of your life. Start easy, and be aware of the difference in experience (important! Soundly defeatin

  • You are married? Can you plz post some pseudocode on how to do that. thnx.

  • Back in the 70's A popular motorcycle magazine had a column written by "Miraculous Mutha". I remember some one writing in asking advice on how to get his wife not to pull away when she was giving him head, and he was about to come. The answer was simple and elegant. MM wrote, it's easy, just make sure the back of her head was against the fool.

    Seems analogous to this.

  • Same as for sex (Score:4, Insightful)

    by GlobalEcho (26240) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:28PM (#42639675)

    Maybe you haven't run into this one yet, but the advice I'll give you (based on nearly 20 years of happy marriage) is the same I give to newlyweds:

          (1) Housekeepers are significantly cheaper and more effective in promoting marital harmony than marriage counselors, and far cheaper than divorce lawyers. That's where your first discretionary dollars should go.
          (2) New activities are most interesting with friends. That is, if you want her to enjoy getting into skiing, gaming, whatever, with you, then find a couple also interested in getting into it, and make it a group thing.

  • by csumpi (2258986) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:28PM (#42639677)
    It's of course a bit different. It uses different hardware. It has similarities to your game:

    - you can advance through several levels
    - you can use your fingers for control
    - you can customize her outfit
    - you can collect and use tools
    - you can play it on the couch
    - there's a boss level at the end (you most likely won't get near it, nor will beat it, just use some tools for now)

    But there are differences, too:

    - it's more exciting
    - you can use more than your fingers
    - you get more physical feedback than rumble
    - you are not restricted to your couch
    - you might achieve more satisfaction

    Just try it. You'll probably realize that she's not playing your game because her game is a lot better.
    • by SpzToid (869795)

      No kidding. Do you have any idea how many misfits hang out in this place and yet you chose to come here looking for relationship advice? There's your first clue right there; you sir are fighting the wrong battle. Give it up. Recalculate your position and values, and adjust accordingly.

      You have no idea how good you have it, if only you'd smell the roses and go for long walks on the beach, or at least show some appreciation for your good fortune and go outdoors to do something with your significant other who

  • I tend to agree with the first post that if she isn't a gamer by now then you probably can't turn her into one. However here are some games that I have found from personal experience that gamers and non gamers can enjoy together. Some are co-op but some are solo games that you sit beside and help along.

    Stay away from realistic violence. Sadly this probably rules out most of the games you enjoy yourself.
    Stay away from any game that requires significant mouse or controller dexterity. This rules out most first

  • I downloaded fun run for our kid on my iPad.. he liked it and it has a mode where you can play friends (cross device too!) So I put it on my phone and the wife's phone. Now we all 3 play together and she can't feel any more embarrassed than myself when our son (who turns 3 in February) beats both of us

  • You married her for other things. Enjoy them and quit trying to fit a round object into a square hole.

    Or divorce her and marry your best gaming buddy. Then your spouse will game with you.

    E

  • by QuietLagoon (813062) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:46PM (#42639813)
    The answer to your question is in your question.

    from experience, I know that a good game can provide much more entertainment than a good movie.

    Does your spouse have the same opinion about gaming as you? maybe she views gaming as little more than a time wasting experience.

    Because of my long experience, gaming comes naturally to me

    Maybe your spouse sees that, and she prefers not to become addicted to gaming as you appear to be.

    .
    Perhaps the question that is really being asked here is, "my wife is giving me grief for sitting in front of the game console all day, and I want her to stop bothering me and let me play."

    The manner in which you pose your questions is that of a selfish person. Instead of trying to impose your likes upon her, you should be talking with her about new things both of you can enjoy, perhaps even taking advantage of living in a different country.

    With so much to discover and learn just outside your door, why waste your time sitting in front of a game console?

  • by Rodness (168429) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @12:47PM (#42639823)

    Talk to your wife. Explain that it's important to you. Maybe she'll give it a try. But you can't convince her if it's not her thing.

    My wife tried co-op games (lego star wars, etc) with me but really wasn't into it. But she respects that it's important to me and lets me have time to play, even if it's not with her.

    The stupidest thing you can do is ask a bunch of nerds for advice and then try to convince her she should be into it. Talk to her instead.

  • by Fallon (33975) <Devin...Noel@@@Gmail...com> on Sunday January 20, 2013 @01:04PM (#42639953) Homepage Journal
    I met my wife playing Everquest... We got married a couple years later & are about to celebrate our 10th anniversary this summer. Some people just don't find some things entertaining (think cliche geeks & sports), so sometimes you have to just luck into it at the start. A word of warning though... When getting her to play CounterStrike at a LAN party, be careful. No matter how much you & the other guys are trash talking each other, the same rules don't apply to her. For example when she brings a knife to a gun fight & shanks you with it, responding with "You f*&#ing b*%@h!!!" is bad. She will never play CounterStrike again & you will still be hearing about it many years later.
  • If I suggested to my wife that we should play some games in bed, she'd bring the XBox.
  • by CODiNE (27417) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @01:56PM (#42640319) Homepage

    Yes I'm a wife of a /. Geek... I'll prove it.. Ponies YAY!! Unicorns YAY!!! I 3 lolcats :-D ok so what I'm about to tell you will save your marriage so listen up! I have always dated geeks and tried to get into the gaming thing with them. At a young age I was scarred playing original Mario bros at a friends house. Stupid chompin flower! The theme song still haunts me. My next foray into the gaming world with my first BF was somekind of first person shooter game where I got stuck in a corner and shot anything that moved. My team mates quickly killed me. So video games to me were frustrating and depressing cuz I would die within the first 5 mins. The miracle game which changed my outlook on video games... Legos Star Wars!!! Me and hubby can play for hours and I have a great time. Mostly I collect coins while he fights the bad guys and if I do have to fight I can randomly punch buttons and mostly make it out alive. Also I can die and immediately get resurrected! And I make cute noises when I die so it's kinda fun jumping off cliffs :-D the cantina is a great place to practice blowing up stuff and getting coins without anyone shooting at me. When we get to a really hard part and I die a lot it's easy to back out of the game and let the computer take my player till the first player gets through and then I can join back in. All the Legos games are a blast but I think Star Wars the original is easiest. I would say start your wife on this game and just tell her you wanna play for a half hour (same as a sitcom) I'm pretty sure she will want to keep playing after that. :)

    (Guest post by CODiNEs wife *I* am not a girl)

  • by houghi (78078) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @02:00PM (#42640339)

    Reverse the role and get into what SHE likes to do. Just imagine that SHE posted a similar question on some forum. And have you even asked her?
    Yes, a good game is more entertaining then a good movie. But a good meal is even better.

    If you want to trick your spouse into games and she does not like computer games, start with non-computer games as a stepping stone game. Scrabble or chess.

    But first start talking to her and let her never know that YOU rather asked the question to complete strangers then talking to you. If she finds out, start thinking of visiting rights to your kids, because she might be wanting to leave you.

    Talk to her. Or perhaps even more important: listen to her. She will tell you.

  • by donweel (304991) on Sunday January 20, 2013 @02:36PM (#42640593)

    Star Wars the Old Republic has gone free to play recently and the IP is an easy sell. A lot of women where interested in the game before and during the game launch. Star Wars has an appeal because it is familiar. The game is good and the story is excellent and the dialog wheels in the quests work well in a group. You can duo it together if you have the hardware. I would also suggest Magic the Gathering as another option. The Magic the gathering 2013 on steam has an excellent tutorial and you could quickly get up to speed and playing hands against each other.

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