Ask Slashdot: Are You Apocalypse-Useful? 737
An anonymous reader writes: "Young people, when choosing a profession, are often told to 'do what you love.' That's why we have experts in such abstruse fields as medieval gymel. But let's talk hypotheticals: if there's a worldwide catastrophe in which civilization is interrupted, somebody specializing in gymel wouldn't provide much use to fellow survivors. In a post-apocalypse world, medical doctors would be useful, as would most scientists and engineers. The bad news for Slashdotters is that decades without computers would render computer science and related professions useless. What do you consider to be the most useful and mostly useless post-apocalypse professions? How long would it take for society to rebuild enough for your profession to be useful?"
down to a "T" (Score:5, Funny)
Apocalypse speculator (Score:4, Funny)
I'm an Apocalypse speculator. You might think I'd be at the bottom of the list; but we have been in business since ancient times. We're probably in the top 5 oldest professions. The people who run Slashdot are whoring out to something here, so apparently they will do well also.
Re:WHAT? (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, if things are so dire that computers magically disappear for decades, the concomitant disappearance of advanced agriculture, etc., will mean the lingering miserable death of probably 90% of the developed world.
Like most doomsday scenarios, this is a masturbatory exercise. Things will end up either 1) like now, but worse in many ways or 2) utter decimation. In neither of these cases will your soldering hobby become the salvation of your village and earn you the respect and admiration long-denied you by our anti-intellectual society, granting you, finally, a day in the sun where the jocks pull you along on a rickshaw while Julie the prom queen gives you deep throat.
Re:Antibiotics (Score:5, Funny)
Its not hard to do; on the documentary 'Sliders' one guy made an antibiotic just out of mouldy bread and saved a civilisation.
Sliders was a documentary?
Re:I have a degree in computer science. (Score:5, Funny)
Naturally, my model would not starve the farmers. The real challenge is figuring out how to stop the bandits who are starving the farmers. Fortunately, you only need about seven samurai for that.
Re:Medical doctor (Score:4, Funny)
In a post-apocalypse society, I will raid the nearest electronics stores then wander the land, repairing electronics with my knowledge and large stash of replacement electrolytic capacitors.
Re:Some of the oldest trades become useful. (Score:5, Funny)
Or organ/skin condoms.
As the joke goes, in 1500 the thought of using a sheeps intestine as a condom to prevent pregnancy. In 1873 the improved on the idea by removing the intestine from the sheep first.
Re:Medical doctor (Score:5, Funny)
Indeed.
I'm an EE. If the grid goes down and I've got carte blanche, I could get some semblance of electricity up and running in under a week. (Which would enable you to plug in your standard appliances.) I could get solar USB chargers working in the same time frame.
First you get the electricity, then you get the... power... uh... then you get the wom... can I start over?
I know how to make beer.