Isn't it a bit bizarre to take that stance? The word "Gay" traditionally meant "Cheerful and lighthearted, Bright or lively (esp. in colour) with the implication of triviality." In the USA (and hence later the rest of the world), homosexuals adopted the term to refer to themselves. The use of the word 'gay' to mean something of questionable taste or value us more closely related to the original meaning than its more contemporary, co-opted one.
The simple truth behind all this PC nonesense is that words mean what the speaker/writer intended and not what other meanings you might like to read into them. The word 'nigger' is considered offensive by most coloured people, although my African friends often use it to refer to eachother in an affectionate way. In the same way that you referred to yourself as 'queer' but might be offended if someone you didn't know did the same. It's because what is said is not the same as what is meant. If someone wishes to be offensive, they can do so without resulting to curses or insults; likewise is someone uses those words to you they are not necessarily being offensive.
In case you're wondering, yes, I do know what it's like to be picked on because of my appearance and lifestyle. For most of my life I have been overweight, and I am a Goth, so from time to time I get called names in the street, when I was younger 'cool' guys would think it funny to pick on me, and now I'm older people just think I'm strange.. But I make my choices, and I live with them.
It is sad that increasingly the world is becoming more and more superficial in every aspect of life; looking at the surface, and being unconcerned with the deeper truths. The most alarming thing about the tide of PC crap that society has been engulfed in since the 60's is that it focusses peoples attention on their outward behaviour and not on their inner attitudes, and it is the latter that does all the damage; it is the latter that gives rise to bigotry, hatred, intolerance and violence.