Getting Introverts to Unwind at Work X-Mas Party? 161
pongo asks: "My department has a large population of introverts, as confirmed by Meyers-Briggs testing. Somehow I was suckered into planning a holiday party with another department that suffers similiar symptoms. Any suggestions on ways (themes, decorations, food choices, games, etc) to encourage light banter and to get people meeting each other, which would make this party a big success? The party will be during business hours and alcohol is allowed." The key here is making a comfortable atmosphere where everyone can unwind and feel comfortable with meeting each other. What ways do you know of to encourage this kind of atmosphere?
one word, google... (Score:1)
hah.
If all else fails, hot tub!
Avoid emberassment (Score:1)
Russian! (Score:1)
They won't be introverts for long...
Booze. (Score:1)
the animal game (Score:2, Interesting)
Get a long role of sticky labels
On enougth labels for one each of the guests write the name of a diffrent animal
As each guest arrives stick a label on their back and tell them they have to find out the name of their animall.
The other rules
Yoy cant tell somone the name of their animal directely.
You can ask any other question about your animal.
Yeach! Thats an awful idea. (Score:2)
I behave as an introvert because:
1. I am often not interested in the topics at hand. Making artificial topics with even less interet is not the answer.
2. I don't always say the first think that comes to mind. I usually wait until a conversation comes to a sticking point where I actually have something to offer. I usually let someone else say the obvious.
3. I hate talking about myself. Don't make me ask others about me.
Try bringing up topics more in tune with the people there.
Offer many small groups with small topics. don't force everyone to come together into "one big event/conversation".
Try setting up many smaller tables each with different types of snacks, and conversation pieces (games, toys, books, whatever). Let the people go to the topic of their choice.
Re:Yeach! Thats an awful idea. (Score:3, Insightful)
What he said.
I loathe making small talk. I suspect I'd amuse myself at an animal-game party by saying "Senator?", "Marketing Guy?", "Spammer?", "The goat in goatse.cx?" or other some such quasi-geek humor until the annoying person talking to me went away.
I agree with the ones who say that if you wanna get the introverted techies talking, you gotta talk their language.
Read Slashdot for three days before the party. Pick the top five stories by number of comments. Ask the geeks about the subject matter. (Even if they don't read /., they're probably interested.)
As a non-sportswatching-geek, I'd much rather talk shop than talk about the latest reality TV series or sporting event. (My lust for tribalism is satisfied by watching matchups like Microsoft vs. Linux, or RIAA/MPAA vs. Everyone. YMMV.)
Of course, if you do this, don't expect to understand the conversation that follows. Don't try and bluff -- we'll spot that from a mile away. Just find two people interested in these things and get them in a conversation with each other, and then quietly go away. The rest of the geeks will gravitate towards that cluster and geek out amongst ourselves, leaving you alone to go do whatever sorts of things it is that extroverts like to do.
Re:Yeach! Thats an awful idea. (Score:2)
When I get there, the socialising takes the form of stupid "get to know each other" games like that ^^^ one. There was even a deal where we were suppoed to form a circle, slowly sit, and through the power of teamwork and trust, form a ring of dorky freshmen sitting on each other's knees.
At that point, I made up an excuse about having to pick up my wife and left. I have never cared for "forced socialisation" either at school or work. I don't find other people terribly interesting. And I get enough "get to know you" time during work hours.
Maybe it's because I don't drink. My wife and I have noticed that our drinking friends tend to do these sorts of things after school or work. Whatever.
GTRacer
- Would rather socialise at home
Simple introductions, 101. (Score:5, Funny)
2. Nothing gets people together like a common enemy. Shove a couple at each other, and see how they bond by calling you names.
3. Utter "Boba Fett is lame." See premise of #2.
4. Slyly mention that the hot secretary is studying I/COBOL.
5. Instead of name tags, label people by their choice of editor. Let the ridicule begin.
6. Variant on #5: Label by choice of OS. Hand out Nerf Bats.
7. Indian Poker: #6, applied to foreheads without them knowing what the label says. The goal is now to really get someone's ass beat. (AOS/VS is the trump play.)
8. Set up a (Game Cube|XBox|PS2) or four. Have competitions.
9. Your favorite and mine, Spin the DIMM-Module!
10. Counter-Strike Counter-Strike Counter-Strike. (Silly rabbit, Quake is for kids!)
11. Vodka shots. Declare that first puker gets a weeks bonus PTO. (Deny requests to use it in the event of hangover, however. For suffering to be truly effective, it must be enjoyed by others.)
12. CP/M Trivial Pursuit!
13. Strippers. The aggressive kind. You know, Bambi the Leather Terminator.
14. Say "Vader could kick Gandalf's ass." See #3.
15. Anime Anime Anime!
Re:Simple introductions, 101. (Score:1)
You know, this really works. Oh, and don't let 'em play single player games. They will go back to being introvert again. I experienced it first hand with a party of which the party-goers were all geek (also some extrovert ones). Especially games in the style of "Street Fighter" and "Tekken" are good examples
Lan parties also bring introverts together though.
Re:Simple introductions, 101. (Score:2)
Or lapdancers:) They always tend to pick guys that really don't appreciate it:P Photograpic proof here [fluimfotos.nl], here [fluimfotos.nl] and here [fluimfotos.nl]. This guy was looking really pissed during a 10 minute lapdance (on his lap) with about 100 people watching>:-)
Well... (Score:4, Funny)
Find the common factors (Score:4, Informative)
Speaking for myself as an introvert geek, the worst possible thing at a party/kick-off is to be bunched up with a group of morons to play a stupid social game the point of which is only to make an ass of yourself. Some (management) seem to love this after taking some 2 day team-building class at a spa last winter and they're aching to try it - Avoid this at all costs!
If these are your average geeks, Developers, Techs, Support personel etc, the most common factor that everyone shares has to be war stories, stupid users|clients|bosses|coding etc, it's the enemy that geeks world wide share and team up to battle. Worst(best?) tale of the eve wins a prize (no matter if it's made up, all to spur creativity and get a few laughs).
Re:Find the common factors (Score:1)
-OctaneZ
Ahh, the American conversation (Score:2)
First you're asked "What do you do?", and once your job classification has been determined, the conversation then:
1) aborts if the questioner has no idea what it is your talking about. As in, "I'm a network engineer and pretty much diagnose router problems all day". Then, the questioner, a Java hack or marketroid moves on.
2) proceeds full tilt if the questioner's in your line of work.
How about talking about a recent non-technical book you've read, the latest play you saw, summer expedition you went on, politics, or anything OTHER THAN WORK? Nope, not possible here.
American geeks ought to be required to head over to the European continent for six months or so. In many countries there it's consider low class to start a conversation out with, "So whaddya do for a living?" and proceed to talk about your work life.
Re:Ahh, the American conversation (Score:1)
This is very true, at least here in Sweden, you never ask/say what profession you're in as a means of introduction. Nor do you adress someone with their Profession.Name as in Professor Doe, Officer Doe or Dr.Doe.
However, at an office/department party I think talking shop and current affairs is hard to avoid. So you might aswell try to make it amusing.
Re:Ahh, the American conversation (Score:2)
In many countries there it's consider low class to start a conversation out with, "So whaddya do for a living?" and proceed to talk about your work life.
Why is that? Aren't Europeans interested in what others do for a living or is it to save face if you are unemployed? That only leaves one safe topic to talk about: the weather.
No (Score:2)
A more developed individual has other interests and activities which he or she can converse about. Not just real-life Dilbert episodes.
Re:No (Score:2)
So your suggestion for a good ice-breaker would be...?
You've just proved my point. (Score:2)
Re:You've just proved my point. (Score:2)
I'm not disputing your point. I'll take it as given that "Whaddaya do?" is a lame opening. And I'll take it as given that I and whatever social groups to which I belong tend to use it for lack of anything better.
I'm asking, what's your solution? How would you strike up a conversation with someone you've just met at, say, an office Christmas party? Or better, your spouse's office party?
See my original post (Score:1)
OK, by this time I realize you're trolling, but I'll answer this one last time. See my original post:
How about talking about a recent non-technical book you've read, the latest play you saw, summer expedition you went on, politics, or anything OTHER THAN WORK?
I mean, jeez, you really need me to give you talking points for starting a conversation? In a world as varied as we live in there's an infinite number of things to talk about. Books, wars, movies, cloning, plays, civil rights, charities, volunteer work, your phrickin Zodiac sign, ....
Still need help? Here's a geek solution:
Google Search - Converation Starters [google.com]umm how about these.. (Score:2)
Family, if they have kids it is ALWAYS a good ice breaker.
Music, bought, heard any thing new recently ?
Of course there is the only real alternative here in the US at a business function...Sports/GOLF
Re:No (Score:1)
In America there's nothing outside of the cubical and/or work. Report to the nearest reeducation center immediately!
Re:No (Score:2)
That's right!
I do nothing but get up, go to work, come home, read email, work on my computers or look at slashdot & other sites and then go to sleep. On the weekends, I do the same thing except I do it all day, except for the 3 hours when I'm in church on Sunday.
Re:No (Score:2)
I can't. I just say "same old stuff."
or is it to save face if you are unemployed? (Score:2)
No, it's to save face if your ARE employed, most socialites (not I said socialites not socialists) are so filthy rich (really Old Money) they don't work.
No we have some thing else in Europe called Culture, which is very popular amongst polite society.
Re:Ahh, the American conversation (Score:2)
Re:Ahh, the American conversation (Score:1)
What's a non-technical book?
the latest play you saw
What's a play? Is that one of them cult-choor-al things?
summer expedition
Expedition??? Wouldn't that involve going OUTSIDE????? What are you, some kind of freak?
PS:
Re:Ahh, the American conversation (Score:2)
New York: Where do you work? How much do you earn?
Chicago: What neighborhood do you live in? What high school did you go to?
California: What are your interests? Are you happy?
That may have changed a bit with the dot com/dot bomb culture, but maybe not!
sPh
aren't you saying it's a good thing? (Score:1)
Re:aren't you saying it's a good thing? (Score:1)
Just leave them alone (Score:4, Informative)
Things to remember with introverts (Score:4, Informative)
I'm off the chart when it comes to introversion, so I might be able to help you here (and help myself become a little more extroverted).
The biggest thing to remember with introverts is that we like small intimate parties with people we know. The maximum number of people you want to strive for is about 30 (varies with the introverts). If you can, try to run many small Christmas parties as opposed to one big blow out. If you have to do the big blow out celebration, try and seat people according to their co-workers (we hate having to sit next to people who we have no connection with).
Other than that, we aren't much different. We like music, food, beer, entertainment, belly dancers, etc. I saw one suggestion in the posts that was cool, 4-player party video games.
Good Luck!
Re:Things to remember with introverts (Score:3, Insightful)
A Marble Madness, Joust, or Gauntlet machine rented from an old-school "classic game" operator will run you a few hundred bucks for an evening (Sounds expensive, but consider the weight of the thing and that the operator has to travel to your place to plug it in. Time and hassle is money.) and be a great way to either bring out the introverted geeks amongst each other.
Even if there's only one introvert, it'll give him something to do while waiting for the party to end ;-)
Throwing a successful party (Score:3, Interesting)
Some of the things that make the party successful:
parties, wherever they are in the country.
One caveat is that you need to be prepared to spend a lot of money. You do these things and I guarantee you that everyone will open up and let their hair down.
Dirty Santa (Score:2, Informative)
Everyone brings a gift (about $5-$10 value). They all go (wrapped but completely unlabeled) into a pile. Everyone draws a number (no gift, no number). #1 goes first (of course), and picks a gift. #2 gets to either a) pick a gift or b) steal from #1 (who then must open another gift from under the tree). #3 can open a present or steal from either #2 or #1, and so forth. When it's all over, #1 gets one final chance to steal from anyone at all (since they had to open a present at the start).
Generally, this starts holiday parties very well- good gifts like (chocolates are a perrenial fav) get stolen frequently while, well, boobie prizes get lumped on the poor sap who ended up opening them.
Also called "White Elephant"... (Score:2)
Anyhow, this is a great way to get a party going, or at least a good way to have fun!
Some of my most fond memories of "work parties" were xmas parties that did this game. Beware, though - while it can work with larger crowds, typically things fall apart after about 30-40 people. Plus it can get REAL boring with a ton of people, just due to the number of switches (oh, yeah - limit the number of times a gift can be stolen to about 3-4 times, otherwise the exchange can go on nearly forever!)...
Some interesting gifts I have seen:
1. Old programmer box - complete with 70's style desk fan, LED HP programmer's calculator, old code printout (on greenbar, of course), etc.
2. Box of "helpful" items for help desk people (aspirin, earplugs, alcohol, etc)
3. A red "government" (anyway, the sticker said "Property of US Govt" on it) security phone, complete with trailing PBX wires
Of the three (and there were more), number 3 was most interesting - never did find out who brought that one.
I once managed to snag a most useful item (at least for the summer): An ice cream machine. However, this was no ordinary ice cream maker: this one was special. It works by putting the ice cream mixture inside the mixing cannister, then you sit the whole thing in the freezer, and the motor stirs the mixture, while simultaneously circulating the cold air around the cannister, gradually freezing it. When it gets to a certain consistancy, the paddle stops (simply because the motor can't provide any more torque), and you can remove the ice cream and eat it (at that point, it is like homemade soft serve), or put it in another container to freeze it solid (like regular ice cream). Yum!
Re:Dirty Santa (Score:2)
Why is it that "extroverts" feel they must force.. (Score:4, Insightful)
If the "introverts" among you decided to force the "extroverts" to sit facing the wall reading Slashdot for 12 hours "for their own good", would the "extroverts" find that acceptable? If not, then why do they think it is acceptable to force others to behave the way they think best in the name of "fun" or "loosening up"?
sPh
Re:Why is it that "extroverts" feel they must forc (Score:2)
The last time a boss of mine tried that I resigned. She threatened me with the amazing line 'I'll make your fecking life hell next week if you don't get into that sumo suit!'.
I told her I would rather watch the girls dancing in the corner and drink some more whisky, sumo wasn't really my thing, I didn't have the ass for it.
I think I suggested that she did have the ass for it... I'm unsure. (she didn't, she had a nice ass... I hope I didn't say anything nasty about her ass)
She threatened again, suggesting I wasn't much of a team player if I didn't put on a few bits of rubber and try to bash john from accounts out of the ring.
I told her I'd happily leave her precious team on Monday if she would just shut the hell up for 10 minutes and go annoy someone else. She didn't. I did.
I'm sure she thought her promotion hung on getting all the 'computer guys' into those damn sumo suits before her boss left. god!
Re:Why is it that "extroverts" feel they must forc (Score:2)
Except that what many geeks find fun are the things that non-geeks find "work" or "hell".
The reverse is also true.
Primate grooming behaviors (Score:2)
Not all extroverts are insecure, of course, and the ones you're comfortable with are the ones who are outgoing but not insecure. They don't demand the ego strokes so you don't end up feeling drained.
Once you realize this, it's a *lot* easier to deal with the insecure extroverts. Think of it as just another form of primate grooming behavior. When I meet another geek, I don't discuss Linux distros because I can't think of anything better to do, I do it because it's the "grooming behavior" we use to establish a rapport. Once that's done we can move on to other things.
The insecure extroverts are no different, they just need to spend more time in the initial grooming behaviors, and those grooming behaviors might involve burping games instead of a discussion of the merits of vi vs. emacs. That's not a problem when you're dealing with them one-on-one, but in a herd they tend to reinforce each other and you never get past the initial stages. So you avoid the herd and only deal with them as individuals. There's nothing wrong with you, and there's nothing wrong with them individually. But put them together and it's a room fully of clingy first-graders....
Unfortunately, a forced party situation is the one situation where you can't always walk away. A good planner will realize this and not force everyone together, but managers in search of "team building" are not known for their good common sense.
Leave us alone! (Score:3, Insightful)
And besides that, you are co-workers, *not* friends. I don't want to be your friend. I don't want to know about your relationship problems or your bad back or how many miles you ran over the weekend. Just back the hell up and let me do my job, okay?
Re:Leave us alone! (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Leave us alone! EXACTLY! (Score:3, Insightful)
Don't get me wrong. I will kill myself trying to help any coworker overcome a technical problem where I have expertise. I don't even have to like them, and might even loathe them because of philosophical differences (I am an NRA-supporting libertarian and defend the ideals in the American Bill of Rights and Constitution) -- but I am paid to get a job done and I do it.
But, to relax, the last thing I want to do is hang out with the guy who took off for a vacation while I cleaned up his code.
I want to hang around with people who, if they weren't coding for a living, would do it for fun anyway. Like many geeks, I eat, sleep, and dream code. For fun, I design architectures to let me stream digital audio/video from a central server in the home to various media terminal set-top boxes (silent, of course). I networked my home myself (nothing like straddling ceiling joists in the attic above the family room with the cathedral ceiling). I freak out the telco people when they see my headend ("Really, it's done, I hooked the DSL pair to the demarc last night when I got the call it was live. Don't touch that -- it's the RJ-31x that lets the alarm system seize the POTS pair: you'll set the siren off if you break the connection.").
In short, what we geeks consider fun is the very thing non-geeks want to avoid.
I suppose you could try to arrange a LAN party, if a lot of your geeks are gamers, but don't try to get geeks to mix socially with non-geeks.
Re:Leave us alone! EXACTLY! (Score:2)
Re:Leave us alone! EXACTLY! (Score:2)
Depends on how it was designed. Most houses today have attics above cathedral ceilings. The roof is 6/12, and the ceiling is 4/12, or something like that. This is pretty much a requirement in cold areas, so you can afford to heat the room.
Re:Leave us alone! EXACTLY! (Score:2)
My house has two stories, but the second story has about half the floor space of the first: the unavailable part has an attic over the cathedral ceiling in the family/formal living/formal dining rooms.
What you need... (Score:1, Funny)
Relax? (Score:3, Funny)
The unfortunate side-effect is that you might get locked up for dealing an illegal substance...
A *bad* idea. Here's why: (Score:1, Insightful)
Brow-breating such borderline personalities to consume alcohol and "just be more social" is a bad idea from the start.
Now, before you mod me a flamer, bear in mind there *are* simply "shy" people that can be (and want to be) coaxed out of their shells. A party atmosphere (preferably w/o alcohol) is a good way to go there, but, again, I'm afraid it's hard to tell if someone's a bit shy or seriously depressed. Would you want to give someone alcohol in that condition?
Just quote Jay Phat Buds... (Score:1)
Doobie Snacks!
It's a simple formula: (Score:1)
Welbutrin (Score:2)
Don't do it (Score:4, Insightful)
A big success in whose eyes? The people you're supposedly throwing the party for, or those in upper and middle management who want to see everyone "bonding" like they do. If you company is really full of introverts, then if they're anything like me, they won't enjoy the sort of party you're trying to set up. As others have pointed out, introverts have no desire to have others force them to be artificially extrovert. Let them be, and accept that the party won't be what you'd traditionally expect it to be. That doesn't mean the participants won't be enjoying themselves. Just that their idea of fun is probably different to yours.
Just don't disturb them, you don't understand. (Score:2, Insightful)
I'm one such introvert and I totally hate parties because I either sit alone and vedge out until its over, or spend all evening bitching about the stupid games and annoying idiots that try to chat me up out of pity.
If you want to cater to the geeks, give them the flexibility to organise their own party according to *their* likes and tastes. For my friends and I, we like individual-centric entertainment. Think paintball, go-kart racing, bowling, LAN parties; anything that doesn't involve teams (well ok, Quake CTF is the sole exception). Many of us were the kind of folks who were always picked last on teams, and as such we just learned to hate the concept altogether.
Food is anyone's guess. Again in my own group of friends, we like to keep it simple. Pizza, poutine or good old cold cuts. And good beer! Labatt Blue for the feeble, Guinness and Heineken for the connaisseurs
Then comes the tricky part : music. As it just happens, I'm a music freak. I am very picky and discerning about my aural sensations. You don't need to hire a stupid DJ (since all the good ones have regular gigs and don't do house calls), but just don't put on those anal-retentive DJ MC Gino Bling-Bling Mega-Hit-Mix-XP compilations and let it repeat all night (the 'shuffle' function doesn't help, either). Have someone throw together a decent playlist for good variety and let the mp3's stream all night, but most importantly hide the stereo so people don't start nagging you to play their favorite Yoko Ono records.
So basically, keep it smallish, keep it simple, and most importantly : listen to what the people want in a party. It isn't *your* party, it's *everyone's* party.
Another "non-team" game... (Score:3, Interesting)
Since there was no walls, etc inside, and a concrete floor - damn near anything could be done. We set up a dart board, food, etc - but the fun thing we would play was this funky little R/C car game.
At one time, these cars were made as a kit of four cars, but I would imagine enterprising geeks could build their own system. Essentially, each car was controlled by a person, goals were set up, and boundries were set, and there was a ball - the goal? Get the ball into a goal, and score a point. The cars ate batteries like popcorn, but simply buying a ton of batteries would keep everything going for a long time.
Today, I don't know if you can get cars, but you can get the cheap and cheesy retail "battlebots" sold at places like Walgreen's - these are radio controlled (or IR) that could be had fun with, too...
Re:Just don't disturb them, you don't understand. (Score:1)
Land of the beaver it is.
The European point of view (Score:1)
Briggs-Meyers! (Score:5, Informative)
Being an "introvert" or "extrovert" on Briggs-Meyers indicates something very different than you seem to think. It does not mean that an "introvert" is shy, has poor social skills, can't get laid, whatever. Nor does it mean that an "extrovert" means is a slope-headed moron who can only bond with friends and coworkers with a beer in one hand and a football game on the TV.
Instead, it refers to the way the person relates to the world. IIRC, extroverts tend to look towards outside authority - the boss says we should we name tags and introduce ourselves to three strangers, so This Is Good. Extroverts tend to be uncomfortable in totally unstructured environments, so they "plan parties," etc. Sound familiar?
Introverts tend to look towards inside authority - the boss says we're too dumb to remember our own name and lack the social skills to say hello to strangers outside of this highly artificial environment. He thinks we're a bunch of losers, gee aren't we having fun here! I'm glad he forced us to come to this damn party... on the bright side, he's probably too dumb to realize that our animated conversations are discussions of writing effective resumes to get out of this Hellhole. This Is Bad. Introverts are comfortable in unstructured environments.
If your office is mostly introverts, respect that. Make some plans for the extroverts (who are less comfortable in totally unstructured environments), but leave the introverts alone. If you try to force them to participate, you'll just breed resentment. If you just provide food, alcohol and space the party will be considered a success because they'll all do whatever they think is fun.
Re:Briggs-Meyers! (Score:1)
In the words of Stephen Hawking on the Simpsons "That's the smartest thing I've heard all day"
Re:Briggs-Meyers! (Score:2)
It's definately everything to do with how people relate to the outside world, but it's where you get your inspiration from. You're an extrovert if you get it from other people and an introvert if you're more self contained.
The structured/unstructured aspect has more to do with the Sensing/Intuition (how you percieve things) or Thinking/Feeling (lifestyle) axis.
Have a look at this site [inav.net] for more details. (Funny but oddly accurate.)
Re:Briggs-Meyers! (Score:4, Informative)
[*] The use of the MIPP in employee screening is a nightmare. I took it in a clinical setting (to ensure that my obvious bipolar disorder wasn't masking something else), and I was able to discuss my concerns that many of the questions were incredibly stupid. I am not a farmer in 1930s Minnesota with an 8th grade education and a perfect attendence record at the local Lutheran church, I'm a well-educated urban dweller more comfortable with pagans than the local bible thumpers, and all of the religious questions meant something very different to me. But where she could easily see the influence of intelligence and curiosity someone else who just saw the numbers might see a delusional psychopath who has no fear of Hell. Needless to say I was not happy to hear that some companies are using it to screen their professional staff
Re:Briggs-Meyers! (Score:2)
Oh yes.
I used to work somewhere that wanted all the employees tested "because it would help managers understand their teams better". Originally it was strictly voluntary with results known only to testee and their manager, but it didn't work out that way.
Anyway, I was only able to ask the people administering the test a few questions. "These numbers - where are the error bars?" "I don't understand the question." A bit of explanation later - "So, every result here except two is close enough to the axis that repeating the test could give an answer in the opposite quadrant, within the repeatability estimates you've just given?" "Um, yes" <nervous laughter>. "I know quite a few people here are role-playing gamers. It would be interesting to give some of them 16 copies of the test and see if they can get one into each combination." "Yes, it would" <more nervous laughter, hasty change of subject to supposed team building exercise>.
Solution Summary (Score:1)
Don't invite me, I don't want to go...
but if you do, there better be good food...
and you better lock us in...
but no lame games...
but plenty of [alcohol/controlled substances]...
and [lan games/playstation/etc]...
but not too many people or I won't go...
but they can have a good time if you make them all hate *you*...
so let's just raid the pharmacy and mix some drinks.
Alternative Party (Score:1)
Osama and Taliban games (Score:1)
OK, some of those ideas suck... but some might work.
Make it Optional (Score:2, Insightful)
If that's not an option, I strongly second the idea below that social games that are intended to force people to cooperate or interact should be avoided at all costs - especially ones where you are forced to make animal sounds. I liked that when I was about 10, but am not comfortable with that now and doubt many others are either.
Actually, forced participation in anything, even a gift exchange, is wrong. That should be optional too. Just let people do their own thing.
eye candy, lighting, seats, and some alcohol (Score:4, Interesting)
Get one of the projectors from marketing, hook it up to a laptop with a serious 3d video card, and do the tunes with Winamp or some other player that has the ability for visual plug-ins like Geiss or something pretty that people can literally just stare at.
And get rid of the flourescent lights. Do some other lighting so people can see other people's faces, but aren't exposed to blaring light irritation.
Provide seating to. Most introverts I know are pretty non-excited about their bodies and feel awkward standing up which just causes them to be more shy than usual.
Don't run around telling people to have fun because it's a company party--that's just irritating.
Alcohol, duh. (Score:2)
Re:Alcohol, duh. (Score:1)
Re:Alcohol, duh. (Score:1)
Let me leave early. (Score:2)
I've learned, IF I go to these things, I stay for the food, and then leave. Unless there is smoke in the room, then I won't even enter.
I don't drink, don't force me to, I'll quit first.
I know a few people at work I will talk to. But my life isn't my work. I'd prefer to be back home melting metal or some other hooby than playing some silly game.
I have no life! (Score:1)
Geez (Score:1)
Re:Geez (Score:1)
Re:Geez (Score:2)
But the point is, we'd prefer to be alone than have to interact with 95% of the members of the world's population.
Re:Geez (Score:1)
Re:Geez (Score:2)
I'm sick to death of other's thinking they know what's "best" for me.
Re:Geez (Score:1)
What the person should do is just plan a normal corporate/company party, invite the ill-mannered/anti-social/sad-sacks, and if they come that's good. If not, too hell with them. The real paradox is that if their not invited they'll get pissed off because it'll give them flashbacks when they weren't picked for the high-school cirle jerk. Others will get pissed off for being invited. It's a no-win situation.
Here's a few points the losers don't seem to get...
I'm sure they'll be remembered when the next raise and/or promotion comes around. It behooves people to go to the parties. If anything to just show up, shake a few hands, laugh at some stupid assinine jokes, then leave. More corporate politics goes on at parties than in the workplace. Geeks just need to grasp the concept that their not 'special' or 'irreplacable'. '31331 sKiLz' don't matter as much as how they play the political game.
The stupid party is just the place to, perhaps, (and with this crowd I really mean 'perhaps'), meet that cute/attractive person of the opposite sex beyond asking her to take a look at the new bit of code to see if it makes her nipples hard.
The REAL competition for your job, raises, and promotions WILL be there. They'll be there will bells on, smiles on their faces, and their lips on the ass of every boss and/or possible boss that shows up. Make sure you at least blow their ass a passing kiss.
If anything else there's usually free food and booze to throw down before the loser runs off to play Quake.
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Re:Geez (Score:2)
And smart people quickly realize that when rewards do not go to those that make the company viable, those people leave. Such an environment might feed off of inertia for a while, but it isn't sustainable.
Besides, it is such fun to say, "I can get you out of this mess that will cost you a few million dollars otherwise, but I won't -- you didn't give me a raise"... "DO IT OR YOU'RE FIRED!!"... "And who'll fix it then?" Of course you have to be top-notch to pull that kind of stunt off (but then, you knew the existing plan would fail, how to fix it, but either kept it to yourself, or were ignored when you warned of peril). And, it's best to leave after fixing the problem for, ah, appropriate compensation.
Geeks just need to grasp the concept that their not 'special' or 'irreplacable'. '31331 sKiLz' don't matter as much as how they play the political game.
Ah, but some of us have a known reputation for doing the impossible, saving the company mucho dineros. We're the people who make world's firsts happen. And we are irreplacable because management would rather build an empire of 15 know-nothings than hire one or two of our peers so we'd truely be replacable.
The stupid party is just the place to, perhaps, (and with this crowd I really mean 'perhaps'), meet that cute/attractive person of the opposite sex beyond asking her to take a look at the new bit of code to see if it makes her nipples hard.
Somehow, I find political schmoozers who try to hide their technical incompetence, quite unattractive.
The REAL competition for your job, raises, and promotions WILL be there.
Er, no. The real competition in the marketplace and the company's struggle to survive will happen when I apply my skills elsewhere, and the shell collapses.
Warren Buffet once said something like, "When there is a choice between fantasy and reality, I bet on reality."
Re:Geez (Score:2)
The type of scenario you describe is typical of places the depend on one or two key people who eventually leave out of disgust. How long the company survives after that depends on inertia -- and indeed, it can go on, stagnating for decades.
About that party... (Score:1)
Be sure to publicize the date well in advance. This will allow me to cultivate a case of 24-hour flu which will keep me out of the way of the "fun-lovers".
Since, as a personal choice, I avoid crowds of loud and/or drunk people upon whom I am not allowed to practice violence, I refuse to attend office parties. (Have you ever been forced to smile when a drunken Vice-President throws a glass of beer in your face? Been there. Not going back.)
Great Egg Race (Score:4, Interesting)
So, there were a few hundred geeks in Las Vegas last week for Windows Embedded DevCon. Thursday night was the XP Embedded launch party. The musical act was Credence Clearwater Revisited, with warm-up provided by the product manager's band. Sounds terrible, right?
Wrong. Because in one corner of the room, 10 teams of 4 geeks each were frantically collecting parts to build a device capable of transporting a full glass of beer across a flat 10 meter track. That was the most fun I've ever had at a work-related party.
Here's my recipe:
Pick your objective. It should be acheiveable, but challenging;
Give each team the absolute essentials (wheel, motors);
Put everything else (mix up Meccano, Lego, string, glue, bits of plumbing, stuff) on a big table in the middle, and keep it covered until the starting whistle blows;
Three hours seems about the right length of time. Adjust if your objective is particularly challenging;
Make sure someone is keeping the teams fed and watered;
Encourage strained interpretations of the rules (e.g. string can be used as a guidance system, but not as propulsion);
Award several prizes (fastest; best design; most colorful and so on)
Spike the Punch (Score:1)
No stupid party games. (Score:2)
plays a wide variety of (good) music[1], and a few
game consoles with multiplayer party-friendly games[2].
If people dig the games, set up a projector and have contests. Remember, tho, this is a
Above all, do NOT play dumb, forced-interaction party games.
The only thing these will do is either annoy or freak out the people you're trying to entertain.
Gift exchanges are dumb, too. No one wants to go shopping, let alone shop for something that means nothing to them.
Basically, don't force people to do anything, just make a fun environment where people will
C-X C-S
[1] No Britney Spears or similar cheesy pop-dance music. I have yet to meet a nerd that likes that stuff.
[2] Kung-fu fighting games, racing games, shooters, etc.
N64 has prolly the best selection of 'party' games right now, and it's cheap to boot.
comfort zones (Score:2, Insightful)
Go with the basics- Good food -variety here. Remember that there are people with food allergies and they don't want to get uncomfortable having to explain why they aren't "appreciative" of the generosity. Nore do they want to go hungry when others are eating.
Good drinks- again variety - there are people that don't drink alcohol for religious, medical, addiction or other reasons and they don't want to get uncomfortable having to explain that either. Many introverts don't appreciate dealing with drunks either. Your company may not appreciate the liability.
You can make the food and drinks a topic of conversation and exploration by having various countries represented. Introverts tend to explore more than extraverts. (After one unenjoyable party why waste time at the next)
Music- you might try several areas each with a different type and not so loud that it disturbs conversation.
Don't forget the eye candy, but forget about smell and touch, too many strong emotions/liabilities there.
Do not try to force conversation but encourage it by creating a variety of situations where any given individual can find a comfort zone. Also try encouraging conversations in topics that people are comfortable with and can find others with similar interests. Give each person a nametag and urge them to put two or more topics they are comfortable with on it. This cuts down on both the bother of name remembrance and topic discovery protocol. These can be killers for introverts.
Remember that there is more to life than football and gossip. Finding other topics quickly and easily is a problem.
hrmm... (Score:2)
A simple solution (Score:2)
Re:A simple solution (Score:2)
You have no idea how bad an idea that is.
Er, when some of us get mad enough to hit back, it's with intent to kill. What part of leave me alone don't you understand?
MDMA (Score:2)
You said X-Mas party, right? Heh heh.
Seriously though, MDMA was successfully used for over a decade in psychiatric settings to help introverted individuals and couples break out of their respective shells. Within a half hour of ingestion, ego defenses will melt away and you will have a room full of chatty nerds (don't blame me, it sounds like that's what you're asking for here). Just be sure to have plenty of water, some comfy couches, and some multivitamin + amino acid tablets for afterwards to ease the infamous hangovers. Don't forget to have a lot of condoms on hand in case these people try to do something about their minor office crushes. Ahem.
Skip the lollipops, vapo-rub, and glow sticks. Only rave kids and cops believe that these things are good accessories for MDMA.
great idea (Score:1)
4 tips... (Score:2)
#2 DO NOT INVITE THE BOSS
#3 ensure items #1 and #2 are taken care of, things will go well from there...
#4 Think about how to get home
Tell them what to talk about (Score:2)
Pick a set of questions (at university, "what subject are you reading?" works well; I'm sure you can find appropriate questions for your introverts). Tell people that when they run into someone for the first time, they should ask/answer the 3-5 questions you chose. If you prefer, you could make it a contest ("get as many people as possible to answer these questions" or suchlike) but that really isn't necessary.
Once people know the fields, hobbies, musical tastes, etc of the people they are talking to, they are far more likely to continue talking.
DOs and DONTs (Score:3, Interesting)
DONTs
DOs
Better yet, forget the entire idea. If a company wants to wish employees a happy Christmas for example, use the money and give them an extra day off so they can spend it with people they really care about... And do it on Dec 26, not the 24th or 23rd, else we'll just spend it at the Mall. Many countries have Boxing Day, the U.S. needs it too!
Promoting Conversation (Score:2)
Re:cash (Score:2)
I'd prolly show up, grab the bill, leave, and deposit it in the Salvation Army kettle on my way.
If I had to stay for any length of time, I wouldn't even bother.
Re:it's simple (Score:2)
Er, no. The logical response is to kill him so he can't do it again. However, there are legal repurcussions to that. Perhaps a harassment suit might be better. Be glad that people who support the logical response generally avoid situations where it might come to pass.
But what you're suggesting is tantamount to telling the rape victim to fuck the rapist so as to "get even". No sense in that.
Re:it's simple (Score:2)
Battery is battery.
I don't like generic parties beceause I can't stand the inane subjects 95% of the people there bring up. I prefer to hang with my own crowd and am fairly selective.
An example of a fun party for me:
Playing team trivial pursuit (men against women),... where everyone has an I.Q. in excess of 150. Been there, done that, loved it.