Advice You Would Give to Your 12 Year-Old Self? 1642
urbazewski asks: "If you could send a message back to your nerdy
unpopular 12 year old self, what would you say? I've been asking this one for several years, and the replies sound suspiciously like the lame advice I got from adults at that age ('just be yourself, dear'). The most creative answer was from an American-born Buddhist monk, who didn't think his 12 year old self would
listen to a message along the lines of 'Hey, what you're doing is kind of making things suck for me right now' --- he would send
a message to himself by adding extra lyrics to a song he really liked when he was in junior high school. I got the best replies from a large class at
UC Santa Cruz. The modal answer was 'Buy Microsoft.' About 7% of the class said 'Enjoy yourself in high school because college is really hard.' Another 7% said "Study harder in high school because college is really hard.' (The
best variant on that theme: 'Try to figure out what "studying" is'). In the hindsight-is-20/20 dept. there was a girl who said 'Do not date the
following people...' and then listed six names and a guy who said 'You know how you're thinking about trying to drive your dad's car? Don't!.' My personal favorite: 'You're a dork now, but don't worry, you'll be cool when
you're in college.'"
hrm.. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:hrm.. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:hrm.. (Score:4, Funny)
Dear Self (Score:4, Insightful)
You are 12 years old now and are starting to feel deeply your own inner voice... listen to it! Your creativity is beginning is beginning to flourish so do anything, everything you can to express yourself. Take chances. Don't do it for anyone else, do it for yourself. And if someone happens to critisize you for having your head in the clouds, or being weird, don't listen to them! Follow this inner muse and you will be richly rewarded with a happy life and lots of money.
Your parents mean well, so try to understand that at least their heart is in the right place. If you strongly disagree with them, I suggest at the vert least you keep reserve that strength for yourself and not for battling your parents. It will only cause both you and them needless amounts of grief. Experiment and get away with what you can, and if you get caught, do your best to at least play the part of the "good son". They don't need to know everything you're up to, because you are a life long quest of exploration and adventure and the fun is only getting started.
Good luck, and may you reach the stars before I do.
You older self,
Paul
Planet P Blog [planetp.cc]
Re:hrm.. (Score:5, Funny)
Tell yourself in the past to .... (Score:4, Funny)
advice (Score:5, Funny)
Re:advice (Score:5, Funny)
Cocacola.com would get you millions.
nike.com
reebok.com
Disney.com
just run down the Fortune 500 list back in 1991 and squat like a pro. Remember to put a "fan page" on each of them so the courts can't yank it.
"This si my coca Cola page! I LOVE COKE!
Herei s a pic of me drnking coke!!"
Re:advice (Score:4, Funny)
Re:advice = Paradox (Score:5, Funny)
Oh... and stay away from the airport ( especially the guy with the blonde wig and sunglasses )
Re:advice = Paradox (Score:5, Funny)
no no.. (Score:5, Funny)
register? Domain name? WTF? (Score:5, Funny)
To which 12yr old me would say:
What the hell does register mean, and what is slashdot.org?
33yroldme: It is a website
12yroldme: What the hell is a website?
33yroldme: You know the internet.
12yroldme: What the hell is the internet?
33yroldme: A bunch of computers hooked up together to share information.
12yroldme: What the hell is a computer?
33yroldme: You know, a personal computer.
12yroldme: No, I have no idea what you are talking about.
33yroldme: It is a screen, like a TV, and you can do all kinds of things on it, like playing games.
12yroldme: Oh, in your house, like an Atari?
33yroldme: Yeah, sort of, but they are all over the world too.
12yroldme: Oh, you mean in the arcade like a Pac-Man machine? And that new game, Pole Position? That game is cool. It is so realistic! Or Joust, that game is fun because two people can play at once. I have only played it a couple of times because it is brand new. There is always a line for it.
33yroldme: Dude, nevermind. Have fun.
Re:register? Domain name? WTF? (Score:5, Funny)
30yearoldme: It's kind of like a giant BBS, with unlimited porn.
12yearoldme: Mind if I take notes?
Re:register? Domain name? WTF? (Score:5, Interesting)
No need to call someone an asshead. There are many instances of folks who owned computers back then and they were not rich or part of a big company. I mowed lawns for two years and purchased my first computer, an Apple ][+ in 1981. At the time, we were definately not well to do. That computer got me my first job ( at age 12 in 1982) at our local school of medicine as the tech support guy (before that was a title) for all the MD's and PhD's running Visicalc and such on their Apples and TRS-80's.
Advice to 12 year old self (Score:5, Funny)
or... (Score:5, Funny)
My advice to my 12-yr-old self? (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, that's right, kill yourself, you heard me.
I want to find out if a fundamental paradox really causes the universe to end! I mean, suicide is not my bag, but if I had the chance to take all of you with me...
Re:My advice to my 12-yr-old self? (Score:5, Interesting)
The you at age 12 would still exist, as one single event of a miltiple of you before you contacted yourself, none of which would be contacted.
If you did take your own advice (and...would you? I mean I'd tell myself to go fuck myself, personally) then, the you after the point just before you contacted yourself would be wiped out, quite possibly, but the you before you were contacted would still exist, and without the you from the future of that line in time, to pass the fututre message, you wouldn't do it.
In other words, you'd wipe out everything in one possible universe from the point of contact if you did commit suicide, but not before it, and it would still continue from the point where your message fails to appear as if nothing had happened, which of course is true unless you make the same decisions exactly as you did the first time round from that point onward, in that timeline, leading to you contacting yourself in the past, which is not guaranteed not least of which because of a universal cognisance of the event which took place leaving a dissonance in it's wake, spreading backward and outward, so that at least at some point you'd not comply, realising the stupidity of your behaviour and eventually boring yourself/ves of the repetition of the fundementally self-destructive non-beneficial act and get on with doing something more positive instead, tike putting the telly on or something.
Possibly.
Re:My advice to my 12-yr-old self? (Score:5, Funny)
I didn't think it was possible, but my brain has tied itself into several knots, and is now leaking out my nose.
Re:My advice to my 12-yr-old self? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:My advice to my 12-yr-old self? (Score:4, Funny)
P.S. All that stuff you think about when you're high, patent it.
My Message to 12-year old self: (Score:5, Funny)
Re:My Message to 12-year old self: (Score:5, Funny)
Re:My Message to 12-year old self: (Score:4, Funny)
Re:My Message to 12-year old self: (Score:5, Funny)
Easy! (Score:4, Funny)
Advice for my 12 year old self (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, and buy Cisco stock in 1998 and sell it in Jan 2000.
Period.
Re:Advice for my 12 year old self (Score:4, Insightful)
Now that's a paradox for you
Re:Advice for my 12 year old self (Score:5, Funny)
>Period.
I tried that and I'm still broke.
So I went back and told my 13-year-old self it was OK to put the Cisco proceeds into something called "Enron", but that he had to sell the Enron in 2001.
And I'm still broke.
Now I gotta go back in time again and tell my 14-year-old self not use the Enron proceeds to buy airline stocks.
I tell ya, ever since Goldman Sachs left the brokerage business and went into temporal mechanics, my life's been a living hell!
THIS IS AMERICA, HOME OF THE LITIGIOUS! (Score:4, Funny)
Hi.. (Score:5, Funny)
"Self, in 4 years you're going to meet a really nice girl at a party. This time guy some fucking condoms!"
Hmmm... (Score:5, Funny)
Slashdot (Score:3, Insightful)
easy (Score:5, Funny)
My favorite (Score:3, Interesting)
get laid (Score:3, Funny)
err, wait, not that this has happened to me....
Save! (Score:5, Insightful)
Sadly, I don't have a time machine, so I'm on the "work until I'm 65" route.
-S
Pennies? Stop shaving pennies! (Score:4, Funny)
Maybe so you you don't have to shave/cut your pennies and nickels, you could put 15-20% of every dollar you earn in the bank. I'd hate to deal with all those pennies...
Re:Save! (Score:5, Insightful)
I'm trying to give this advice to all my friends who just got their first jobs out of college. Stop buying the new flashy toys, and start putting money away while you can (no real bills to eat up their paycheck). They'll have a lot more freedom later on.
Re:Save! (Score:4, Insightful)
advice to all 12 year olds (Score:3, Funny)
Advise to myself as a 12 year old... (Score:5, Funny)
But, in order to accomplish that, you must ignore your evil best friend, Adam. He will bring you Warcraft II, which will consume an inordinate amount of your time and eventually lead you to Diablo and Starcraft. Which is like heroin to you.
In summary: Get away from high school and addictive Blizzard products.
Watch your links (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Watch your links (Score:5, Informative)
I'm Only Eleven... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I'm Only Eleven... (Score:5, Funny)
*sigh* True story.
Easiest response ever (Score:5, Insightful)
and: "Next Thursdays winning lotto numbers are:..."
-Matt
Re:Easiest response ever (Score:5, Interesting)
I read a study recently (I tried googling for it and couldn't find it) that basically tracked lottery winners over a five year period following their wins. It said that when they first recieved their money their overall happiness jumped a great deal, as described here [warwick.ac.uk]. It then tracked their happiness for the remaining five years.
The interesting part is that almost uniformally every single winner's happiness receded back to what it was before they won. It seems that everyone has a "base happiness" that cannot be altered by material things in the long term. I believe that everyone needs enough money for sustenance and comfort, and after that it's all vanity.
Follow your dreams early in life... (Score:4, Insightful)
this one's easy (Score:3, Insightful)
Someday your mom is gonna want to "get rid of some of your old junk" by which she means baseball cards, your first gen Transformers, and probably those really nice old school metal Tonka trucks. Do NOT let her!
Thanks,
your 24 year old self
Hmmm (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, and I'd probably tell myself to go on that bike ride with katie, she might be a bit wierd but she's also damn hot, and that kind of thing doesn't happen as often as TV makes you think it will.
Re:Hmmm (Score:5, Funny)
How about: "Hey self, stop smoking so much dope. Your memory will be shot by the time you're 18"
Parents (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Parents (Score:5, Insightful)
"This is going to scare the shit out of you, and you'll probably think I'm the devil himself for telling you this, but EVERYTHING your parents ever tell you to do or not do is dead on the money. Your problems are not completely unique, and your parents have been there and know the easiest way out. ALWAYS take their advice. You've gotta make your own mistakes, but you can avoid the truly bibilical fuck ups if you just listen to your folks."
I can still remember the day this thought occured to me. I think I shuddered, fell out of my car, and went trembling into the fetal position.
Re:Parents (Score:5, Insightful)
Until the thought occurs to you independently, you won't believe it anyway.
It's wonderful to be one of those people that learns from other people mistakes, rather than taking the time to make them all yourself... but some things you seem to have to just figure out on your own.
My advice would generally be more "do things" rather than "avoid things". Oh, and don't worry about looking stupid and feeling self-conscious, do it anyway.
Talking to my Inner 12 year old (Score:4, Insightful)
2. Invest in Intel, Microsoft, Apple and Cisco - 100 bucks in each company
3. Learn spanish
4. When you have that desire to drive 120 mph out on Highway 212 - don't, there might be a South Dakota Highway Patrolman there in the dark
5. Take more math classes
6. Take more automotive, welding and shop classes
7. Work to get out of high school in 3 years.
8. Girls come and go, don't get to wound up in a 17 year old chick
9. Don't buy a bunch of tapes or CDs now, Napster will come along someday
Comment removed (Score:3, Insightful)
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
Simple (Score:3, Insightful)
I am who I am today because of the trials and tribulations of "growing up." To make any changes to that would result in a completly different person.
I needed to be a nerd in High School to learn self pride and relaince...I needed to get my heart broken once in college to learn my alcohol tolerances.. After that you pick up your pieces and move on to bigger and better things.
Advice.. (Score:3, Insightful)
2: Smoke more pot... or is that less
3: Dont invest in Enron or Worldcom.
Seriously, nothing. I didnt make bad choices nor do I regret anything Ive done (except maybe item number 1). Without the life experiences Ive had, I wouldnt be where I am today, which is to say maybe not all that wealthy, but definitly happy. Now if I could give all my knowledge to my 12 year old self it would be a different story...
The past is gone... (Score:5, Insightful)
If you don't like something about yourself, don't fret over it. Change it starting now.
Re:The past is gone... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The past is gone... (Score:5, Insightful)
In another post I said I wouldn't change anything -- and I wouldn't. But these are things I'd give as advice to generic twelve year olds in a similar position to myself at that age -- a nerdy kid who gets picked on because he's poor, weak, nerdy, and in a fanatical religion.
Become an independent thinker as soon as possible. A good part of your pain comes from the brainwashing of your religious youth. Read _Stranger in a Strange Land_ and _Job: A Comedy of Justice_ before you go to High School. I read them halfway through and they changed my life. Maybe reading them sooner would have prevented some high school pain.
Don't just give your friendship to anybody who is willing to take it. There is a perceived solidarity among those who are downtrodden, but some of those people are real low-lifes and will try to drag you down. It's not really true that the enemy of your enemy is your friend. Pick your friends carefully -- they have a profound influence on you.
Don't count on being lucky and not getting caught. There's nothing wrong with breaking some rules, but don't assume because you've never been caught you can't get caught. Don't get stupid. One mistake at the wrong time can change everything.
Don't confuse your hormones with genuine affection. She's not perfect. She's probably not even perfect for you.
Life is full of unique opportunities. You might die tomorrow. Take those opportunities when you can. Don't assume you're immortal and will have forever to chase those things down.
I'd say... (Score:3, Interesting)
Then I would say the people who were popular at high school weren't actually investing in a skill... And that it didn't matter if I sucked at something when I was 12, the fact that I would start that early would make me phenomenal by the time I was 18 (I distincly remember thinking I couldn't start playing guitar at 15 because I thought I was too old -- WHATEVER).
Apart from that, any advice I'd have to give would be useless (regarding work and girls) because I really think I needed to go through all of that shit for myself - in any case, my father already told me what I would say now.
Relax a little (Score:3, Insightful)
Or go to Europe right out of school. Screw that idea of a job right away. They can wait a couple months.
I would tell myself a few things... (Score:3, Funny)
2. Girls are not worth your time. They are fun while you have them but man you regret it when they are gone. Plus, after you have one, you're hooked.
3. Go to Victoria School of Visual and Performing Arts as soon as you can. You'll be very happy there.
4. Don't drop piano lessons. You'll regret it when all of your friends are cool pianists and you are just starting again.
5. Listen to your father, play cards more often with your father, go out and play sports more with your father. When you leave for university, you'll really miss the few good times you did have with him.
6. Save your money. Don't buy stuff on a whim, make sure you want it first. There are lots of stuff you'll think is cool to own, but later on you'll kick yourself for spending so much on it.
7. Star Trek is not as cool as you think it is.
8. Be nice to your sisters, especially Peggy. You may not approve of her ways, but you can learn a lot from her.
9. Get rid of your damn huge glasses, and get smaller ones or contacts.
10. Stop watching TV, if need be, just use the computer. Full House isn't that good of a series.
11. Exercise more, or do more physical activity. It's worth it.
12. Get involved in the community more. At Vic, get involved in the arts scene more. You'll miss it when you are gone.
That should be enough I think.
But most importantly.
13. Don't fight all the time. You are not right 100% of the time, and it's not worth the stress of the arguments and the loss of friendships when you fight.
That's about it. Plus, you know the usual. Invest in Microsoft, etc.
Do what the hell you want... (Score:5, Interesting)
Because all adults will tell you is what they wished _they_ had done.
That's easy... (Score:3, Interesting)
So I says to myself, self... (Score:5, Funny)
1. Don't take algebra, there's no practical use for that stuff.
2. Do all the cocaine you can get your hands on. The eighties will be much more fun that way...
3. Rush out and get laid by the first girl who will do it.
That's a pretty good start...
Heh (Score:5, Funny)
In the future, you are going to write to your nerdy, unpopular self.
In the meantime, think of something witty, cuz this sucks!
Later!
Don't get too hung up on Star Wars... (Score:5, Funny)
Let your first girlfriend go... (Score:5, Insightful)
(actually, this is to my 16-year-old self)
12 is too young (Score:5, Insightful)
But a few years later, I have some advice that I would give to my younger self - and that I'm still trying to follow past 40:
1. it's far better to regret things that you've done than things that you didn't risk. (Okay, maybe this isn't the best advice for a teenager...)
2. your PE teacher is an idiot, but time spent on physical fitness is not wasted. Get to the gym. Lift weights. Run. You'll get back the time spent today in increased productivity for years to come.
My Advice (Score:5, Funny)
Take risks (Score:4, Insightful)
Listen, listen well (Score:5, Funny)
2) Don't, don't, don't think it'll be a good idea to use the dog clippers to trim the top of your head. You'll miss and need to make up some excuse that you were checking for 666.
3) Don't use silicone spray to lubricate the lawnmower. The gases are very flammable and you'll singe your lungs.
4) Have absolutely no moral dillemma about having fun with your girlfriend's hot little friend. Your girlfriend will dump you a week later for the SWAT sergeant.
5) Late at night, when everything is dark, do not blindly drink from the 1/2 gallon plastic jug in the back of the fridge. It will *look* like lemonade, but....
6) Have fun. Have lots of fun. Take lots of classes, even ones you don't need.
Hmm.. (Score:4, Funny)
Tamagotchi (Score:4, Funny)
Find a guy named Bill Gates (Score:5, Funny)
10 undeniable truths to life, so listen up! (Score:5, Funny)
2. Sleep with everything that moves, knowing that as you make more money, the women get prettier. If you dont like the girls who like you, make more money!
3. STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY!
4. Under no circumstances ever consider marriage unless you reach 30 and make less than 150K a year. If you are younger and/or make more, your options for trim are too good to settle for just one chick regardless of what you look like.
5. Dont buy a Mac.
6. Just because you will love Java, doesn't mean you can ever do anything productive with it. Stick with C++ and dont be afraid of garbage collection and pointers.
7. Everyone you think is cool, will be washing your car, turning down your hotel bed, and bringing you meals in 20 years, if you refuse to be like them now.
8. Those big tits you love so much right now, will be hanging around her navel in 25 years. Learn to like the flat girls.
9. Once you make decent money, you will forget all that crap about the environment, compassion and helping others, so why waste your time now?
10. Everyone does it, anyone who says they dont is lying.
girls girls girls (Score:4, Funny)
What about... (Score:5, Funny)
Note to future self (Score:5, Funny)
You won't be the first nerd to lose their virginity in their 20's.
You are not as weird as you think you are.
You are not as weird as Michael Jackson.
A good beating (Score:5, Funny)
Another challenge. (Score:5, Insightful)
What do you think you'd like your future self to tell you now?
You know all those dorks around you now? (Score:5, Insightful)
If you do that you'll discover that college professors ( at least the good ones) aren't authority figures. They're actually *teachers,* and are quite willing to be your friend as well. Even when things get rocky. Find the good ones and cultivate them.
You aren't really socially inept. You've matured early. This puts you about 20 to 30 years ahead of the curve. When you hit 40 or so people will suddenly think you're "cool" not because of any change in you, but because they've finally caught up. So don't sweat not fitting in with people who are, essentially, still savages.
KFG
My advice to any 12 year old.... (anybody really) (Score:5, Insightful)
If you are comfortable with yourself then you can be comfortable with other people.
Treat yourself and others with respect.
If you are comfortable with other people they will realize that you have it together and they will treat you with respect. People pick up easily on how others expect them to act... if you expect people to treat you with respect, chances are they will.
Those that lose your respect, ignore. Not in the sense that you pretend they don't exist, just don't waste energy dealing with them. You have much better things to do with your time than be mad at other people. It usually doesn't accomplish anything except to raise your blood pressure and give you ulcers and heart attacks.
Angry people are too focused on what is wrong and miss out on many things that are good. Don't be angry. If you need to work out some agression then get some exercise and think happy thoughts.
If you make someones day better there is a good chance that they will make somebody elses day better and the world will get better bit by bit. If you go around making other people's days worse then eventually the whole world will be filled with angry people.
One person can make a difference.
Take Better Care of Your Teeth.... (Score:4, Insightful)
Also....dont try to be cool. Dont change yourself to impress other people...
On a more serious note... (Score:5, Insightful)
Don't take shit.
My life from 12-17 generally consisted of me putting up with bullying, putting up with being put down, putting up with people who had no business trying to tell me what to do, and even when they had that right, they did it all the wrong way. A little standing up for yourself goes a long way.
What would I tell myself? When that bully picks on you, punch him in the face as hard as you can. Go Ender on him--don't stop until they pull you off of him. I guarantee that he'll never try it again, yet this amazing fact eluded me, and I just assumed that no matter what I did, and that included fighting back, that I would be stuck in my little hole of miserableness forever.
Don't let your boss walk all over you. When I entered the "corporate world," also known as the Full Time Job, my little "Computer Operator" job got me nothing but headaches and more miserableness. Just when I thought I had escaped the clutches of bullies and put downs, here comes Office Politics to screw it all up again. Suddenly my boss would take credit for all my work and leave me hung out to dry when I made a mistake, holding myself up to the whole place as an example of How To Screw Up Rightly. The more I think about it, the more it hurts in the futility of it all.
Did I ever finally grow some gumption and let it fly? Sure. But it was far too late. The damage had been done, and this fantastic article [paulgraham.com] rang so true my ears are still ringing. I told off my old boss, let the higher ups know what was going on, and moved on to greener pastures. I settled down, found a wonderful wife and now have a gorgeous 8 month old daughter who I value more than my own life. And I'll be sure to let her know, when she turns 12, that life isn't about the microcosm of high school, or the inmates, er, students in it.
My greatest hope would be that my 12 year old self would be, at the very least, left alone. And that's more than most depressed, repressed teenagers get.
In the late 90's... (Score:5, Funny)
Register immediately. Get ID #001.
Wait until 2003. Go to a site called 'ebay'. Sell [ebay.com] said slashdot ID. Let your mind boggle that you now have $81.
don't be a wimp (Score:4, Insightful)
Everyone is full of shit.
Trust yourself and stand up for yourself--even if it gets you in trouble. Nobody else cares more about your life than they do about their own. Challenge everything, especially those who challenge you.
2) Don't be afraid to piss people off.
Not everyone understands the same concepts of right and wrong that you do; not everyone shares your goals or respects your rights to them. If you wait for handouts, you get leftovers; if you wait for respect, you get pity. Trust your heart to tell you what you want, and don't let other people's agendas impede your progress (this includes your family) (see #1).
3) Everyone is bluffing. Nobody is really as cool or put-together or powerful as you think they are--or at the very least, you are a match for them. Never question your ability to compete.
4) You should bluff, too. Act like you have a right to what you want, and people will believe you (most people don't realize #3). And if someone tries to call your bluff, never back down. Herein lies the power to do and be whatever you want in life. Try it, it works.
5) Your parents are lousy role models or I wouldn't have to be telling you these things. You're going to have to go outside of your family to find the inspiration and support you need to be successful in life.
Cut your hair! (Score:5, Funny)
When you turn 19 you will, for some really stupid reason, decide that long hair is cool and looks good on you.
It doesn't. Your passport photo is an embarassment that you will live with for 10 years.
College advice (Score:4, Insightful)
2. In college, don't major in what you think you want to do as a career. Major in something different that is peripherally related to what you think you want to do (and preferably harder, see #1). That way, when you eventually get around to what you really want to do, you'll already know a bunch of stuff that most people in that field don't know, and you'll pick up the stuff that everybody knows easily enough.
Dear 12 year-old self . . . (Score:5, Interesting)
Your life is about to be forever changed. You don't know it now, but in three years, you're going to be in millions of households world-wide.
Everywhere you go, people are going to scream at you that they hate you. Listen to this advice, 12 year-old self, because I know that nobody else is going to give it to you: whatever you do,don't listen to them, and let them define your sense of self-worth. It's going to hurt, a lot. You won't understand it, and you'll try really hard to convince them otherwise, but they will not listen . . . because they're just as insecure and confused as you are right now. You're going to want to quit the show, but if you do, you'll be 30 before you stop regretting it. Trust me on this one.
Stay on that show until it's over, and when you're older, you'll realize that for every person who screamed "I hate you," there is another who was quietly inspired by something you did. It all balances out, kid.
You are never going to be cool, no matter how hard you try, so save yourself the agony of trying to fit in. You end up marrying a real hottie who loves your inner geek.
And register wilwheaton.com before someone else picks it up.
OH! And when you're 22, and you're in a bar in New York, just say, "No, thank you." You'll understand why when the time comes.
Way Back (Score:5, Insightful)
*sigh* Ask Dad.
We have great parents, by the way. Listen to what they say. Be nice to them. Don't stop hugging them, ever, or you'll forget how.
You oblivious dork, Dad has a stack of Playboys, somewhere. Find them. One or two off the bottom, now and then, won't be noticed, or at least admitted to. Don't dink around with the National Geographics; go for the gold.
Anything that seems at all cool now, books, magazines, comics, toys, whatever, buy one to use and one to save. Don't even take the saved one out of the box or wrapper.
No, the Playboys aren't worth saving. Dispose of them discreetly, or give them back. Unwrinkled, untorn, certainly unstained.
You're a goof. Goof is good, folks like being entertained, but avoid weird.
Those cool books in the school library about chemistry magic with all the fireworks recipes? Steal them now. (One at a time, and leave another, similar book from Adam's Used Books on the table so you won't be noticed.) The librarians will throw them out within three years anyway, to keep them out of the hands of budding revolutionaries. Don't make a habit of this, but those three are worth the risk and guilt, and you will use them for good, not evil.
That stupid idea about using computers for animation? Not stupid.
But learn to draw first. You actually have a talent for it. Draw at least one picture every day. Start today.
History is cool.
Your textbooks are gap-filled, error-ridden and often lie outright; embarrass your teachers.
Hey, George Washington grew pot! The Constitution is written on hemp paper! Honest! Look it up!
Never, ever, stand by and let someone else get hazed or belittled.
Hit bullies back. Hard.
Learn to shoot.
Dump the dorky book bag and get a good briefcase.
Dump the slide rule; it will be utterly obsolete by the time you really need it. No, I swear. See the notes above about collectibles.
Dump the cheap polyester pants and shirts too. Admit it, you do know what looks good. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Get a haircut. Carry a comb. Your hair will never be neat, but you can keep it from getting all ratty and tangled.
Read the top of the mayonaise jar: KEEP COOL BUT DON'T FREEZE. Nevertheless:
Be bold with girls.
Know what color her eyes are before you speak to her the first time. Occasionally, drop a hint that shows you are paying attention: a favorite color, a favorite flower, a favorite song. No, don't make them yours. Just be sure she knows you are noticing hers. This will be hard for you, I know. Practice casually, so that you will be ready when you meet HER.
When you touch her, be certain that when she looks at you, you are staring straight into her eyes. Mean it. Don't flinch.
These can't be your only tricks. Think of others. And they're not tricks. Once again, mean it.
Never blame on malice what can be attributed to stupidity.
Take risks in public, but think them through and practice privately first, if possible. For really risky stuff, have a trusted buddy standing by when you practice.
When you are the trusted buddy, and things go badly, stick it out, stand by your man, take your lumps along with his.
Above all, remember: EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES. HORRIBLE ONES. They are too wrapped up in their own to worry much about yours. You are free.
Re:Of course, what you really want to do is... (Score:4, Funny)
Big Mark [slashdot.org] to Little Mark: "Last week's winning lottery number are . . . "
Re:Advice (Score:5, Funny)
Bwahaha (Score:5, Funny)
What else can I say?
Re:Some thoughts (Score:4, Interesting)
There's a popular myth that heaven will be like a philadelphia cream cheese commercial - pretty people with wings on their backs sittng on clouds doing absolutely nothing.
Heaven will not be like that. Not at all.
Think of the experience in life that gives you the greatest satisfaction.
Heaven will be better than that. The God who designed you knows what you need and what will satisfy your deepest longings. Once you are in His presence, they will be fulfilled.
We all worship something. We were created to worship God. Some of us do and others find substitutes. The substitute never satisfies, but still we tell ourselves that it will. Sugar-free soft-serve yogurt is nowhere near the same thing as real honest-to-goodness ice cream.
Sex, money, power, fame, hacking....
All promise to fill the ache inside, and they can distract you from the discomfort and uneasiness of life, but the ache returns as quickly as hunger pangs briefly quieted by a glass of water.
Why would I want to go to heaven? I was made to worship God and enjoy His presence. Here in this life I'm limited by my humanness. There I won't be. I will be unencumbered to relate to God the way that my heart desires.
The alternative to heaven is to be separated from everything that even promises to salve that ache. In terms of eternity, outside of heaven there will be nothing comparable to love, peace, joy, or even music. I guess the question is - why would you not want to go to heaven?
Respectfully,
Anomaly