Weird Presents Anyone? 1406
g8way writes "Now that Christmas is about, it's time for presents. A joyous occasion with much drinking, fruitcake, and butt-ugly sweaters. What's the weirdest gift you've gotten so far? Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package. What's your story of Christmas present mayhem?"
I got (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I got (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I got (Score:5, Funny)
Did you ever deliver papers to him? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I got (Score:4, Funny)
(*) I am 19 and I think it is time to start wondering if they are hiding some terrible truth from me
I got your crappy present (Score:5, Funny)
Although the end result seems ok
FP (Score:5, Funny)
Aww mod parent up (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Aww mod parent up (Score:4, Funny)
Re:FP (Score:4, Insightful)
He finds that choice wierd but perhaps his friends are sending a message?
How to get First Post without even trying (Score:5, Informative)
Look at the content of a highly moderated post farther down on the page and regurgitate it as a reply to a first post.
It looks like it's an original thought and it's at the top of the page!
If a post has nothing to do with the parent post, don't moderate it up. Chances are it's redundant from something posted earlier but farther down.
You should have posted to the real first post (and changed the title so it's not "re:") which is most likely moderated at a -1. Then it looks like you post is the parent post to those who don't browse at that level. Badabing! First Post. Without even trying.
Ben
My gift... (Score:5, Funny)
Blow-up doll (Score:5, Funny)
I've never felt so pathetic in my life.
Re:Blow-up doll (Score:5, Funny)
So did you try it out yet?
Re:Blow-up doll (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Blow-up doll (Score:5, Insightful)
They'll get someone to shoot it down sooner rather than later. Of course, what you could do is to coat it with moderately-fast-drying glue (on both sides just to be sure), let it float up there, and *then* let them shoot it.
Sure, it'll deflate- but it won't come down
Re:Blow-up doll (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Blow-up doll (Score:5, Informative)
Re:Blow-up doll (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Blow-up doll (Score:5, Funny)
Nor do a lot of men... hence the invention of the Real Doll.
Badum-pu-chi!
Thanks folks, try the veal...
Re:Blow-up doll (Score:5, Funny)
Real friends would've bought you the kind with three holes.
Re:Blow-up doll (Score:5, Funny)
I bet you'll feel even worse when you have to ask for a patch kit next year
Re:Blow-up doll (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Blow-up doll (Score:5, Funny)
I got a weird one (Score:3, Interesting)
/. subscriptions? (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:/. subscriptions? (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:/. subscriptions? (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:/. subscriptions? (Score:5, Funny)
My iPod (Score:5, Funny)
Re:My iPod (Score:5, Funny)
Re:My iPod (Score:5, Informative)
My brothers present (Score:3, Interesting)
(On a side note: I got Band of brothers on DVD amongst other things - way cool
Re:My brothers present (Score:4, Funny)
Weirdest... (Score:3, Interesting)
A really smart shirt from Next (clothes store in the UK, not the old UNIX company!), and a silk tie from tie rack - both of which were really smart, and totally suitable to wear to work.
I was stunned!
Re:Weirdest... (Score:4, Funny)
The shirt I got is a little slow, but it means well.
Other than that I got some toothpaste, a toothbrush, and deodorant. I wonder if my mom is trying to tell me something about my hygiene.
Bernhard Langer (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Bernhard Langer (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Bernhard Langer (Score:5, Funny)
How about getting them a Mac? My creationist cousin has one and I get a kick out of him using Darwin.
aedan
Christians using Darwin (Score:5, Informative)
If you research his life and theory you may discovers some interesting facts.
But don't let that stop you from poking fun at Christians. It helps keep us on our toes.
Re:Christians using Darwin (Score:4, Funny)
For example, the title he gave a certain book was "The Origin of Species", not "Origin of the Species".
Screw weird, this is the *COOL* present thread! (Score:5, Funny)
My mother in law excitedly handed me my gift this year with a big grin on her face. I opened the box and what was there?
A seagate Barricuda 7200rpm 120gig hard drive!
"Now you can download more movies and burn them to dvd (vcd)" she says.
Large capacity hard drives, the gift that keeps on giving all year long
Re:Screw weird, this is the *COOL* present thread! (Score:5, Funny)
I found it funny that she was advocating downloading and achiving pr0n.
Those were the types of movies she was talking about, right?
Re:Screw weird, this is the *COOL* present thread! (Score:5, Funny)
Hint... (Score:3, Funny)
Think they are trying to tell you something?
Re:Hint... (Score:3, Funny)
And a pretty fancy one at that.
Re:Hint... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Hint... (Score:5, Funny)
Anything from "The Shack" is bad (Score:5, Funny)
Oh well, maybe I'll get her back by giving some Metallica CDs.
Re:Anything from "The Shack" is bad (Score:5, Funny)
Anyone answering C deserves all the strange presents listed here.
Regards,
--
*Art
You really "cleaned-up" for Christmas! (Score:5, Funny)
Toothpaste, breath-freshening mints, deoderant, and cheap out-of-the house food.
No pattern there.
Hmm. Unless.... Is your family trying to tell you you're spending too much time playing Everquest, and too little time playing "shower"?
Re:You really "cleaned-up" for Christmas! (Score:4, Funny)
Ha. (Score:5, Funny)
6 pairs of black socks
1 can of mixed nuts (i hate most nuts)
A bottle of leather conditioner (presumably for my car)
A pair of cheap $20 headphones (left side doesn't work)
15 losing $1-2 lottery tickets
$10 in gift certificates to Krispy Kreme (love them, but the closest one is an HOUR away. All Dunkin' Donuts around here.)
Speaker stands for the surround sound system I don't have.
-----
I gave...
My sister a nice Capresso CoffeeTEC coffee maker because her current coffee maker broke, and this does lattes and hot cocoa to boot, which she loves. Also got her an assortment of coffee from Gevalia.
My parents to share, got them 5 classic movie DVDs (Ben-Hur, Citizen Kane, On the Waterfront, Bridge on the River Kwai, Casablanca). My mom a backyard birdwatching and project book, a pair of nice binoculars. My father I got a 10GB iPod (bring his MP3s in his car without him constantly burning CDs), and a new copy of MS Trips and Streets (to replace his 1994 Rand McNally software which he still uses regularly).
-----
I know its not what you get, but the thought that counts, but I think I put in a lot more thought than they did.
----- ----- ----- -----
It's because... (Score:5, Insightful)
My own family works pretty much this way, especially my parents, who'd rather buy another set of underwear for me than subject themselves to the fear and confusion they associate with shopping online. But on the other hand, every once in a while they get things exactly right -- like, buying me the LOTR trilogy two years ago... I wouldn't have even asked for it because I hadn't read it since high school and wasn't too into it then, but once I picked it up again I was hooked. And then there's my siblings, who actually have a great sense of style and when they buy me clothes it's great. So this isn't a "poor me" rant.
If you think getting clothes is bad... (Score:5, Funny)
It wasn't a present (Score:4, Funny)
It was a message. Your breath stinks, you have BO, and you're too skinny.
Flasher Gear (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Flasher Gear (Score:5, Funny)
Be sure to cut off a pair of trouser legs at about knee height and tie the cut off pieces in place with string on your lower legs just above the calves. That way it looks like you're wearing pants as long as the coat is closed.
Shurikens (Score:5, Funny)
Santa's dictionary is F'd (Score:5, Funny)
A gig of RAM (Score:5, Funny)
Weirdest gift I ever received... (Score:5, Funny)
Worse part was, I didn't know when the hell to stop unwrapping.
Re:Weirdest gift I ever received... (Score:5, Funny)
The high-capacity so-dimm inside didn't appreciate it.
Shocking Roulette (Score:5, Funny)
A Gift from Nigeria (Score:5, Funny)
My wife gave me cock burns (Score:5, Funny)
We got out of debt (Score:5, Insightful)
Minimal presents to other people, no big dinner or tree and no huge tech presents for either of us. Instead we sneaked past the finish line in our "Debt Free in 2003" goal.
This Christmas is bare by many western standards, but now we can start saving for a deposit for a house. (Yeah, more debt there but what can one do about that?).
But is it really debt? (Score:5, Insightful)
Rent is debt, it's a continuing eternal debt. Owning a house is owning something that's worth something, even if you have to pay a very large amount of money for it.
Congratulations! (Score:5, Informative)
I would count it as extraordinarily difficult to save enough money for a downpayment for a house in, say, Southern California (where I live) and similar areas. For the entry level house I just bought in Woodland Hills, the price was $428,000. Woodland Hills is an upscale suburb but doesn't have the cachet of, say, Beverly Hills or Malibu, where entry-level homes start at around twice that. If you consider that typical entry-level homes in the downscale suburb of Canoga Park start at close to $350,000, I think I got a real deal.
I'm presently renting a house for $1,400 a month, which is way under market. My landlord sold it out from under me, and I checked rental options and found them all horribly expensive. So I talked to a very nice realtor, and he, together with a great mortgage broker, showed me that a good house wasn't beyond my means, despite my lack of savings other than company 401(k).
In the end, I had to withdraw money from the 401(k) just to rarise the 3% deposit needed to prove that you're serious about the house, and to pay closing costs. My lender gave me 100% financing in a first and second mortgage, with a total payment of around $2,750 a month. Property taxes add another $500-odd a month. However, virtually all of this is tax-deductible, on both federal and state returns. The bottom line is that I get about $1,000 of that from the taxman, so my net cost is $2,250 a month.
I used some extra money from the 401(k) withdrawl to pay back all my debt. With my debt paid down to zero thanks to the 401(k) withdrawl, my net cost of housing + debt - tax deductions is actually going to be a bit lower than were I was before.
A nice bit of fiscal alchemy.
If - and only if - you believe your real estate market will continue to do well, 100% financing may make sense, even though it doesn't sound like a good idea when you first look at it. The tax deductions really help hugely, taking really scary numbers and bringing them down to reality.
Here in Southern California, there are huge population pressures, and the economy is diversified enough to continue to do well. So on balance, I think home ownership here is a reasonable gamble. The fact that my home, being a tiny but beautifully made place on a hillside, is in a unique area with extremely low housing turnover also helps.
I have lots of plans for my new home, and I think it's going to be a great experience. And to be honest, I don't think I could have ever saved the amount of money needed without 100% financing.
If you want to own a home, I think it's well worth considering.
D
Air Horn off of a Big Truck (Score:5, Funny)
Loud? Oh my! The 100 PSI shop air will make it sing. Now, where can I install it?
Re:Air Horn off of a Big Truck (Score:4, Funny)
Best Gift Ever! (Score:4, Funny)
Home Depot Gift Card (Score:5, Funny)
1) The nearest Home Depot is 50 miles away and I don't have a car.
2) You can't use them online.
3) There's hardly anything there you can buy for $25 that isn't sold by the pound anyway.
I'm selling it back to my dad for cash and thanking my brother politely for the thoughtful gift.
Re:Home Depot Gift Card (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft Games Goddamnit!! (Score:4, Funny)
-"Mom, I don't use Windows".
+"So how do you use Word?"
-"I don't".
+"Oh, Hmm, how do you use MSN?"
-"I Don't!!!!"
+"But I know you get email".
-"Yes"
+"Well that's certainly strange".
-"No, it isn't. MSN is not the Internet"
+"Oh, well here's you're Chrismas present, a copy of Freelancer". (Which is some MS game I never heard of)
Nevermind the fact that I'm 34 and don't even play computer games.
Anyone want an unopened copy of Freelancer?
Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!! (Score:5, Insightful)
Instead of seeing this as a negative experience, your mother knows that you are into computers and she is attempting to communicate with you that she relates to you - by acknowledging this. She likely knows nothing about computers, but she wants to try to connect to her son.
In return you should not be bitter, but give your mom a big hug, that's all she's really asking for...
Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!! (Score:5, Funny)
Yo Freud, merry christmas!
Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!! (Score:5, Insightful)
Needless to say, I'd do anything to get a chance to play badminton with her now. For all of you with mothers, even if they drive you nuts, I envy you greatly. Now go do something that will make her happy and show her you still love her.
Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!! (Score:5, Interesting)
I just wanted to say thanks. As a college student especially, it's easy to overlook things that really matter - I'm sure I'm not the only person you had an impact on.
My religion says that everything happens for a reason - if you believe anything like that, I hope maybe you just saw a way that your mother's unfortunate death was able to help this lowly
Thanks again, sincerly.
Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!! (Score:5, Insightful)
For all you geeks out there taking your parents for granted, quit it. Its one thing to have processes without parents on your *nix box but completely different without real parents.
My mother left me with one thing in this life, the knowledge of ballroom dancing (she's a pro dance instructor, and no matter how queer it may sound, dude it gets chicks, no lie. The ability to put on some old music she used to play around the house and dance around the apartment is a depressing blessing all in one. I feel weave's pain, I've been there. I would do anything for one last dance with my mom but instead I'm left with an empty apartment i can just afford, a cat, and a girlfriend I can teach all the dance steps I want.
some days i feel like there isnt a light at the end of the tunnel, some days i try to emmerse myself with techie shit to keep from reality, but this christmas I've been able to face facts and though the family I once had is gone I'm happy knowing that shes in those steps.
ps; my dad kicked ass too.
Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!! (Score:5, Insightful)
I was 20 when my mother died. I'm now 44. There's the old cliche about she's never really gone if you keep her alive in your memories. While on some level that's a bunch of bullshit, on others it's not. Our minds are like DRAM. Each memory needs to be refreshed regularly or it fades and is eventually lost or at least unreachable. It sucks that I dream about her less now too.
Anyway, I'm really touched by the replies here. It's inevitable that if you care about people in your life, you're going to face these kinds of losses. It's part of life unfortunately.
But, like the great philosopher Butters said in Southpark episode 714, "I love life. Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time I'm happy that something can make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, it makes me feel human. The only way I can feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So it's a beautiful sadness."
Damn that was a great episode! Merry Christmas all. You know, I learned something very important today. Even among the trolls on slashdot, there's goodness in each and every one and you all touched my heart today. Best wishes to all this holiday season. Thanks!
My Special Gift (Score:5, Funny)
Weirdest Yet.. (Score:4, Interesting)
Whiskey Flavored Condoms. (Score:5, Funny)
The one I gave to my Mom las year (Score:5, Funny)
When my mother realized it was a joke her first words to me were "Thank Lord was a joke! I was already thinking a way to get rid o it without offend you!" Them I gave her the real present
what I did (Score:5, Funny)
I got them each a Core Set deck. The one more fitting for the geeky b-in-l (Sky Slam/blue) I wrapped simply - just put it in a small box slightly larger than the deck - I also put a $5 bill in. The other one (Burn/red), I put in a large box with heavy objects (several rocks wrapped in paper). I didn't put any names on the packages.
I then let the older/less geeky b-in-l pick the present that he wanted. Being selfish, he picked the larger one. The result: a lesson hopefully learned - and if not, hopeful progress made on that lesson.
I love playing mind games with influential youngsters.
Re:what I did (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:what I did (Score:5, Funny)
Damn, you win. That's the weirdest present I've ever heard of.
Regards,
--
*Art
Re:what I did (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah me too. Remind me to tell you the story about the night I met the Bush sisters at a party....
Payments. (Score:5, Funny)
An Amish Punching Puppet (Score:4, Interesting)
The art of gift giving (Score:4, Interesting)
I don't know what's worse. Running around trying to find something meaningful for someone as a gift, or opening presents from people you care about and wondering if you ended up with some impulse item that's devoid of any insight into who you are.
I've always tried to give things to my friends that didn't fall into that impulse or heres-the-latest-gadget-even-though-i'm-not-sure-
This year I found a number of otherwise mundane items that I could make special. For friends that are into cooking, I picked up some cookbooks by a famous chef in the area, and then tracked him down and got him to sign the books to my friends. Making things for people is also a good idea. One year I made up batches of herbed olive oil. Another year I smoked a bunch of hams and turkeys myself and gave them out. For friends that are into history or science, I'd keep my eyes open for interesting, very old artifacts on ebay. Wine also makes a good gift if you know what's good. A little research can yield some inexpensive, yet exceptional wines that are otherwise hard to find.
One of the weirdest gifts I ever got was from an ex-girlfriend (who at the time wasn't an ex). A gardenia bush. That in itself might not seem that weird, except I found a book she accidently left at my place on Voodoo spells, with a "love spell" page dog-eared that required placing Gardenia bushes around the target's house as a component!
I'll tell you what I got today (Score:5, Funny)
But at least it wasn't a hot cocoa sampler.
When worlds collide... (Score:5, Funny)
coal (Score:5, Interesting)
So guess what she got in her stocking.
Wind Up Sushi and Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist (Score:5, Interesting)
Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist is a DVD, the front of which has pictures of crucified naked women and says, "First he nails you... then he NAILS you!" The back summarizes the movie as, "A schizophrenic thinks he is Jesus, and he wants payback! He crucifies and rapes the wives of his enemies. He films his deeds because he wants to make a new gospel - the Gospel of Blood!!!"
Should be... interesting.
Re:SCOX (Score:3, Funny)
Re:A Self-Help Book (Score:5, Funny)
Re:From the looks of it... (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:Interesting (Score:5, Funny)