The Absolute Worst Working Environment? 1716
goodEvans writes "As I write this, there is a window open behind me with a small jet engine outside. This is supplying vast amounts of compressed air to the aircraft undergoing heavy maintenance in the hangar right outside my door. There is a 6-inch diameter air hose going through the office and out the door. All this requires that I sit at my desk wearing a body warmer to keep out the cold, and both ear defenders AND ear plugs to keep out the noise! And this will go on for half a day once a week! What are the worst conditions you have ever had to work under?" Can you top that? (If top is the word ...)
Asume Yorkshire accent: (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, ay. And you try and tell the young people of today that, and they won't believe you.
My sad tale.. (Score:5, Funny)
Back in early/mid 80's we had to power the computers with coal-fired generators. The geeks would take turns going into the mine to dig out a few buckets of the stuff. We'd lose two or three people a month in "the pit", but dammit, the data had to flow! Pink slips would fly if a single 110/300 baud modem lost power. We were dedicated!
Now all these young punks with their Just-Plug-Into-the-AC-Outlet-and-Let-the-Power-Co
Harummmmph...
Remind me to tell you how we put the hole in doughnuts back in the day...
Whatever (Score:5, Funny)
(Not that I'm offering to trade, mind you . .
Easy one (Score:5, Funny)
Thank goodness that nightmare ended and now I can suff
Women (Score:5, Funny)
The plane took a dump on me... (Score:5, Funny)
The concept was simple enough. I opened latch one and placed the hose onto the opening. This was provided that the second hatch had not failed and excrement flew everywhere. If things worked correctly, I placed a hose onto the opening and released latch two. Everything would go down via a simple gravitational setup. Often, however, the second hatch failed and would get stuck. This required removing the hose and opening the second hatch by hand and hoping that the excrement had not already released while in transit, and therefore reside behind hatch two. The lever would often fail and there would be a race to reapply the hose before the shit hit the fan, so to speak.
I could give a better description but I don't feel like reliving this. Back to work...
my employer (Score:5, Funny)
At my company they make me sit in a small gray box with a computer. The walls are only about 6 feet high!
And it doesn't end there. My small gray box is just one in a sea of boxes, it's like some cruel farming experiment. Every so often, yet another manager comes by and asks about some memo or putting a stupid cover page on some report. And they expect me to just sit here all day and type stuff into this PC.
Think outside the box? How?
Re:Whatever (Score:5, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
Tech support. (Score:4, Funny)
Beat that. I was every customer's verbal-abuse toy.
Re:Three letters. . . (Score:1, Funny)
How about a klaxon for a phone ringer (Score:5, Funny)
This company was extremely strange in other ways. The guy who founded it made tents for the Israeli army. He comes into my office one day and sees me debugging code. Mind you, this was a Mac shop, and the debugger on the Mac (Macsbug) does have an unusual appearance. He takes one look at it, and tells me I have a bug. Well, no shit, that's why I'm using the debugger! He says no, that the debugger is a bug, and that he can tell because of the way it makes my screen appear, and to please remove it immediately.
And how did he get his funding? A really big investment firm whose name shall remain, um, nameless. Turns out that one day they decide they're curious about what this guy is doing, so they send one of their drones over to take a look around. We sit him down in front of the lead programmer's computer, and show him the software that was being worked on. Mind you, this was a fairly involved piece of software, and though I didn't like the framework being used (THINK Class Library) it was nevertheless rather impressive. The drone followed the presentation carefully, or so it appeared, intently staring at the screen during each step of the presentation. Finally, about half an hour later, the presentation ends, and the drone is asked if he has any questions.
So he asks one.
"What's that little box in the lower right-hand corner for?"
He was talking about the grow box. You know, the thing that makes the window grow bigger and smaller.
So we demonstrate how you can change the size of the window. This, it turns out, was the most amazing thing he had ever seen! He starts nodding appreciatively, as if he's sure their investment in this company is a good thing after all. Then he leaves.
I think this is when I started smoking pot.
Re:My sad tale.. (Score:5, Funny)
Wimp.
close the window (Score:5, Funny)
hit command-w, and you'll be fine.
Well... (Score:1, Funny)
OH THE HORROR!
Worst job (Score:5, Funny)
My poor friend... (Score:1, Funny)
He worked for a high class strip club. As a bouncer. So not only did the girls cuddle up to him all night long, but they were usually nekkid when doing so...
I've had trouble accepting that they actually PAY him to do this... But to find out that he left that job, because he didn't like the working conditions...
WTF?
Re:Tech support. (Score:2, Funny)
On top of it all, I haven't taken my antipsychotic in three days, so every little thing irritates me.
Re:my employer (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Under a datacenter floor (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Whatever (Score:5, Funny)
Re:My sad tale.. (Score:5, Funny)
Try saying that to the poor geeks that were laying in hospital beds dying of black lung. Some of them never got past their first pocket protector.
My current gig (Score:2, Funny)
I'm working from my living room, and my primary task is training folks on what I did at my last company. I got paid over $100 (I'm hourly, with a very decent rate) to sit on my couch with a headset phone and wax philosophical for a while yesterday.
Oh, you said worst? Sorry, my bad.
Re:Whatever (Score:5, Funny)
I Work for SCO (Score:3, Funny)
Military Hospital (Score:3, Funny)
A poem:
In the bowels of a military hospital,
working 11 hour shifts
on death march.
Some Asshole in the next room
where-in lies the thermostat,
Decided that they should
turn the temp down
and lock the door
over the holidays
To save energy.
Not realizing,
in the bowels of the hospital,
in a room once marked O.R.
That turning a thermostat to 45,
will
in fact
make the room 45...
and not just settle
on ambient temp.
11 hour shifts, trying to
type with a coat, and hat
and gloves on.
I brought a space heater.
It helped a little.
I was very unhappy.
Post-work environment (Score:2, Funny)
He claimed that I was not doing my job while I was there (despite telling me and my co-workers that I was great and he would like me to fill his shoes if he got his promotion -- he didn't get it)
When asked by HR what my problems were with the company, I told them the whole thing. Within a day or two, they were taking his side.
They threatened to sue me multiple times (for taking a paycheck but not working. ??? They never did a thing) During the whole ordeal, my wife got so stressed out that she miscarried.
It sucked.
Luxury! (Score:2, Funny)
We didn't have enough money to go school, and I had two jobs. In the mornings I worked in a coal mine. They beat us before we went down the shaft just for the fun of it, and we were forced to toil ceaslessly in the mine wearing only loin cloths while standing in freezing water up to our waists.
After working in the mine, I went to my second job in a Chicago meat packing plant. Fortunately, I only had to haul buckets of entrails and excrement; I still have most of my fingers!
Re:Asume Yorkshire accent: (Score:5, Funny)
Luxury! I have to take my wireless laptop into the bathroom with me and multitask to increase productivity!
Re:The plane took a dump on me... (Score:5, Funny)
You were actually a fan of this method?!?
Damn cube farms (Score:3, Funny)
Man. What people will do for a paycheck. Poor guy, in a cube all day...
--Dan
I work at AOL, and all I can say is (Score:3, Funny)
Parks Service (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The plane took a dump on me... (Score:2, Funny)
You mean the shit doesn't fly out of the plane right away when I flush the toilet in mid-flight?
Damn... That really sucks. All that time holding it in until we flew over an interesting target.... For nothing!
Flock You! (Score:2, Funny)
The server room was directly above the "flock lines." The little pieces of flock get everywhere. Vent filters don't even keep it out. All the keyboards and monitors are covered with a fine layer of this crap. You vacuumed your server twice or three times a day. Best of all, my office was right next to a flock line oven, in an overhead mezzanine. And when do you run Christmas ribbon (red flock?) YES!!!! IN JULY!! A four hundred degree oven. Bad airconditioning. The smell of the glue getting you high -- okay, so it's not all bad.
And don't even remind me of the cretin who decided to wire the whole place with silver satin cable terminated, God help me, with wire nuts. And he always vetoed the Cat-5 upgrades because they were "too expensive" but never thought about throwing people all day at the obvious data integrity problems.
Ah, thanks for bringing back THOSE memories.
Re:The plane took a dump on me... (Score:5, Funny)
Whoda thought that there would be real number two behind door number two.
or for the old school fans of "Lets Make a Deal"
Monty Hall: You can keep the dinette set or trade it for what's behind door number two...
Re:Under a datacenter floor (Score:1, Funny)
Wow, and I thought *I* was dedicated to IRC.
Re:Worst job (Score:3, Funny)
A picture says a 1000 words... (Score:1, Funny)
VB (Score:2, Funny)
I program in VB. Help me please!
Data mining (Score:2, Funny)
But it could be worse, I know I guy who works on an offshore programming rig in the Gulf of Mexico.
Up to my shoulder. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Under a datacenter floor (Score:5, Funny)
They didn't tell you that the floor tiles can come off?
Re:my employer (Score:3, Funny)
warehouse (Score:3, Funny)
I work on jet engines... (Score:3, Funny)
Normally we can get one engine done in half a day, then we pack up and move on to the next jet engine in the next hangar.
It goes on like this all day, every day, 5 days a week.
I look at the other people sitting inside the buildings and think how lucky they are to only have to put up with this for 1/2 a day once a week.
University tech support ... (Score:5, Funny)
Sure, the conditions weren't that bad, but you try fixing computer equipment under those conditions; it's not easy!!!
Yes, and the phrase you're looking for is: "I hate you."
Not Hazardous, just unprofessional (Score:1, Funny)
The part that I'm having trouble with is the amazing and total lack of professionalism here. If I step away from my terminal for more than 10 seconds, I must lock it. The programmers here sit and wait for unattended terminals -- when they find one, they'll send out an e-mail announcing "I can no longer hide my perversion" with a graphically detailed message describing some sexual perversion .
Then there's the language. I feel like I'm living in a Tarantino script. I thought purpose of profanity was to indicate strong emotions when something really bad happens. These guys use "fuck" like it was a helping verb. Yesterday the tech support guy was talking to a customer and the head programmer was having a problem compiling (compiling! it's not that big a deal). "Fuck me!" he screams, "Just fucking fuck me you fucking dickwad compiler! Kiss my ass!" I'm wondering if the customer will upgrade.
Then there's the guy who, when he's annoyed sneezes as LOUD as he can. "AAAWWWWWWWW -SHIIIIIIIT-chew! To which everyone else screams "Shut the fuck up!".
This is just a sampling. It goes on 8 hours a day. It probably goes on longer, but I'm not willing to stay here and listen to it more than that.
Maybe I should submit an "Ask Slashdot" ...
Does it make me a prude to think that some micro-amount of civility should be present in the workplace?
Looxury! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Tech support. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:my employer (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Asume Yorkshire accent: (Score:4, Funny)
Poison gas and 98 degrees for 12hrs a day enough? (Score:2, Funny)
Tough shit. (Score:4, Funny)
At least they didn't give you... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Whatever (Score:2, Funny)
Beat that!
The Armpit of America (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Asume Yorkshire accent: (Score:3, Funny)
Ah. So you've seen the Bush plan for the feudal future of America.
Re:Under a datacenter floor (Score:5, Funny)
Turn that around and it would be uber-elite if you were hacking into the datacenter, and you had gained physical access through the false floor.
"VPS Colo: Hosting your web server from our secure location, beneath the false floor at Global Crossing. Rock bottom prices!"
You think you have it bad? (Score:3, Funny)
Worse, we're pretty much controlled by MS (by pocketbook) and our legal department (by policy), which means nothing -- NOTHING -- gets done without six sign-offs and a bunch of awkward "would it maybe be okay if" calls to MS where we ask if it's okay to do things in roundabout ways while ensuring we don't force them into a position where they've technically told us to do something.
About the only benefit from my job is that the stock's been on a steady rise over the last year, and I have a bunch of really, really cheap stock options, but since our company's in the spotlight right now, I can't even exercise them without a bunch of negative publicity and even risk of legal action. I'm afraid by the time I can cash out, we'll be down to 10% or less of current value!
Wearing gas masks and goggles while coding (Score:3, Funny)
They were still doing construction, so there was sawdust and paint particles in the air. My partner and I had to wear respirators and goggles for two days while we wrote code.
The worst part was that we had to do some motherboard surgery one night. We didn't finish, so we left the PC cases open and put up a big sign that said "DO NOT PAINT IN THIS ROOM".
Of course, we came in the next day to find the room freshly painted, along with the motherboards. They used a power sprayer which coated everything in the room.
Yeah, that sucked.
Re:Women (Score:5, Funny)
Either way at least you can get a good blow job from a jet engine for a lot less whining noise.
bad day @ work (Score:2, Funny)
Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and lie down on your bed.
Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken.
Take out the literature and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement, "Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson is personally tested". Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times: "I am so glad I do not work for quality control at Johnson and Johnson."
BTW...I do work for Johnson & Johnson, but thankfully, not in QA. :)
Where the fsck is Rus NOW?! (Score:5, Funny)
"Alright where the fsck is Rus NOW?
The router is choking on PORN and the IP is Rus's laptop.
Why are you all smirking?! Where the HELL is he?"
"um... you are standing on him, sir. He's crawled under the floor again."
Re:Asume Yorkshire accent: (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Women (Score:3, Funny)
Oh wait, that was raisins... never mind.
Well I worked at "The place must not be named." (Score:3, Funny)
In the end, I lasted 9 months, which was way too long for me. On the plus side, I got to know a few good people (nothing like friendship forged under fire), and have a war story that is hard to beat.
Last I heard about the owner is he is now a spammer.
Maybe I've said too much....
Re:Looxury! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Asume Yorkshire accent: (Score:5, Funny)
No, I... We... Damn. You win. :-(
Try to beat this! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:co-workers that try to drive you crazy (Score:5, Funny)
I mean, if you were schizophren, wouldn't you be writing exaclty this ?
J.
Re:Shit- (Score:3, Funny)
I used to work in an office in a hospital which happened to be next to a cleanup room, where various sorts of waste used to get dumped, between pickups from the cleaners who would take it off to the incinerator.
One morning I come in and open up my office door when I realize I am standing in a pool of liquid of some sort, smelling a little funny. I trace it back to a split waste bag (with biohazard trefoils - danger clinical waste). I'm a little worried so track around the department trying to find out what moron failed to double-bag their rubbish correctly and what was in it.
Eventually I got somebody to admit it might be theirs and offer to clean it up, so I asked them what I now had all over my shoes...
"Oh, you're OK, I autoclaved it"
"Yeah, but what was it?"
"Well... infected human urine and blood samples, but I autoclaved it..."
Of course I had to assume that he had probably autoclaved it equally as well as he had bagged up. i.e. wrong. At this point I went a bit verbal at him and got called up before the head of department - who shut up pretty quick once I threatened to get the local safety rep involved.
Re:Shit- (Score:1, Funny)
Public housing projects where aborted fetuses are hidden under stair cases
Hey, at least you got a free lunch out of it.
Re:try this (Score:5, Funny)
Are you my manager?
When I Was A Boy.... (Score:5, Funny)
And frankly, I'm older than Frank. At least he had ones and zeros. We had to pick slivers of flesh from our arms to make ones.
Re:Shit- (Score:2, Funny)
Vow. That must've been awesome. Sorry about the melted eyes though
Re:Amusment park (Score:5, Funny)
Religious nuts setting themselves on fire? I thought this was supposed to be the worst working environments?
Re:Oh boy do I have that beat... (Score:2, Funny)
--
Re:Are you being shot at? (Score:2, Funny)
Doesn't that depend on how big your ass is?
Re:Women (Score:5, Funny)
Re:True Story (Score:1, Funny)
Re:The plane took a dump on me... (Score:2, Funny)
Rain? That's odd.
Being a plumber (Score:2, Funny)
Well we had this one job, we used it to initiate newbies, imagine a charged stack (a 6 inch sewer pipe full 6 stories up) and being in the basment and having to remove a cover that would release all the contents, VERY quickly I might add,
The trick was leaning WAY over and hiding under nearby shelving and giving this bragg plug a whack with a 5lb hammer. The newbies of course didnt know this and would always ask why all the other guys were wearing raincoats.
Tampons, Diapers, Condoms, You name it all stuck to the ceiling afterwards (and it was a 10ft ceiling)
Re:Women (Score:5, Funny)
It's funnier when you hear them tell it.
"Twenty of us women once worked on a sales floor with this IT guy..."
Re:First post for Yoshi-girl (Score:2, Funny)
Goatse is offline, you insensitive clod!
Re:Worst job (Score:3, Funny)
--Kids in the Hall
Re:Tech support. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Amusment park (Score:2, Funny)
And..what? What's so bad about this? Didn't have hot dogs or something to roast?
There is nothing like a little self-inflicted human suffering to make my day brighter.
Re:Whatever (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Asume Yorkshire accent: (Score:5, Funny)
Hosing poo, trying not to be splashed, while wondering "Is this one of the cages with the SIV poo?" SIV is Simian HIV. Or maybe it'll be a Hepatitis C monkey cage. It won't kill monkeys, but it'll kill humans.
But hey, it's winter so the poo isn't as stinky and there's no flies & mosquitos. I'd much rather freeze my ass off then wonder if I'm getting bitten by an mosquito that's been dining off an infected research monkey.
Last month they did some work on bubonic plague monkeys. I can't wait for the R.A.G.E. monkeys. Then I'll have an excuse for my upcoming killing spree.
Re:Asume Yorkshire accent: (Score:4, Funny)
Actually, the Bush plan is to allow illegal immigrants to do this...
Re:Women (Score:5, Funny)
Re:My sad tale.. (Score:3, Funny)
That said, my worst working environment wasn't too bad. You see, I can deal with poor environment, it's the PEOPLE that get to me. I had a supervisor who was just plain impossible (I almost said crazy, but I was working in a mental health facility for schizophrenics, and she wasn't even qualified for that level of intelligence...).
So, what's your worst supervisor?
Re:Shit- (Score:3, Funny)
I remember once after a long midsummer night's party back in 1999, a couple of the brothers and myself drank ourselves silly on their terrace. I proceeded to puke all over the place. I somehow ended up home later that night. A couple days later I ran into my friend and apologized for not cleaning it up. He told me not to worry - nobody else was going to clean that up. It was still waiting for me over a week later.
I'll try not to remember the time somebody made a large boil of boiled shrimp (probably 100 shrimp in all) and left the entire thing sitting in kitchen. For two weeks. After a while it became a control issue - nobody wanted to be the one to give in and clean it up. Meanwhile, the entire building had an overpowering odor of dead rotting seafood all about it. Eventually somehow it got cleaned up but it took at least a month for the stench to go away.
Re:My sad tale.. (Score:3, Funny)
Just as long as you don't tell me how you made cream-filled...
I had it worse (Score:3, Funny)
Oh, heads rolled that day, I tell you.
Nuff said--- (Score:2, Funny)
Damn You!! (Score:1, Funny)
What are you complaining about (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Looxury! (Score:3, Funny)
Those were the days...
Next time you watch ROTK - and you know you will - (Score:2, Funny)
Some poor schmucks had been up in those mountain peaks for years, with nothing to do but watch a horizon that doesn't change. Oh, and try just about anything to keep from freezing their asses off. And no one to talk to but the other poor schmuck, who probably did something terrible to get assigned to this duty.
Now, that's a sucky work environment, even if you are just a motion-capture CG effect.
Re:Women (Score:3, Funny)
Ah right, this is slashdot afterall.
Re:My sad tale.. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Asume Yorkshire accent: (Score:3, Funny)
Quick-minded folk may observe that I no longer live in Montana (tho I still play pick-up-shits for 30 dogs, first thing every morning).
And yeah, I had to walk a mile or more to school in this kind of weather, for my entire educational career. When I was a kid, we thought this was normal! Of course, to this day there's frost on my brain...
Not related to work... (Score:3, Funny)
Funnier still is all the things she DID try, like clicking and dragging the mouse right, moving the cursor to the right side of the screen and clicking. It really was amazing all the things she tried, other than the really obvious one of clicking the button on the right side of the mouse.
It was then that I realised that Apple was NOT underestimating users by using only single button mice.
Existential (Score:5, Funny)
You are a character from a Jean Paul Sartre book, aren't you?
Re:Looxury! (Score:3, Funny)
Question: (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Asume Yorkshire accent: (Score:3, Funny)
Teh w0rst jhob I 3v3r h@d woz...
But seriously....
Ironic... (Score:2, Funny)
Diet Cock (Score:1, Funny)
One day, I was particularly aroused when I went out of my office to get a soda from the machine. On the way down the hall I bumped into this gorgeous 5'11 blonde. She had a 52" bust. Her pussy was shaved "landing strip" style. Her hair was a mess. She smelled like she was freshly fucked.
She obviously had no pockets to carry change for the soda machine so I offered to buy her a soda. Diet Coke was here preference. When she opened the can, diet coke sprayed all over my shirt. She apologized. I said not to worry about it. I had a spare shirt in my office and I could change there.
She followed me to my office as we discussed "business". Along the way she said her name was Kandy (with a "K"). In my office, I removed my shirt to reveal bare chest. The Diet Coke had soaked all the way through to my chest. Kandy offered to lick the diet coke off my "6-pack". How could I refuse?
The Diet Coke dripped down my chest and into my pants. Kandy politely unbuckled my belt and opened my pants to reveal the stream if Diet Coke that was making its way to my fully erect cock.
Unfortunately, Kandy was not fast enough lapping up the sweet soda that now moistend my dick. Fulfilling her promise to lick every drop of Diet Coke from my body she deftly inserted my dick into her mouth and began sucking back and forth, in and out. The pressure was exquisite. Not a drop of Diet Coke could escape the seal of her lips around my tool.
I moaned with pleasure. Kandy took this as a sign of approval and began to massage my balls with her left hand. I warned here I was about to cum with my dick in her mouth. She started to suck harder.
I couldn't hold back any longer and I exploded my full wad into her hot, wet mouth. She immediately removed my cock from her mouth while licking the tip to assure not a single drop of my cum was left. She swallowed with a loud gulp that I'm sure could be heard down the hall.
She pulled my pants back up and buckled my belt. She picked up the can of Diet Coke and drank what was left in one chug. Kandy kissed me on the cheek and said "Best Diet Cock" I've ever had.
Kandy has never worked for use since. I don't even know her real name. To this day I can't walk past the soda machine without thinking about Kandy. But I know I can never get another soda with sporting a 10 inch erection.
Oh shit, this is Slashdot. I thought it was Penthouse Forums. Fuck!!!
Re:Women (Score:5, Funny)
My response was "Naw, I don't have any problems. Mind you, I was a bit concerned when my period started to synchronize."
Re:Asume Yorkshire accent: (Score:4, Funny)
Wow! You get to go to the bathroom?
Re: What, you mean you work for SCO? (Score:4, Funny)
You mean you work for SCO both as a programmer and as a lawyer?
Adult Bookstore Mop Guy (Score:1, Funny)
my rocket engine was *inside* the trailer (Score:3, Funny)
How about working inside an 8x20 trailer in during the summer with a 450-lb ex-wrestler with almost zero sphincter control?
The guy farted so often it just became background noise, and there's no way the ventilation allowed by the trailer door could keep up with his CFM. When contronted - he's say "hey, in all those years of wrestling I tore a lot of muscles - it isn't my fault".
Another problem in the trailer is that it was so small he'd have to squeeze by me to get past my desk and out the door. Invariably this lead to another outburst. At least when that happened I knew it was coming and could lean a little out of the way.
Just as I was starting to look for another job I got lucky - the place hired other new guy, and so I only spent two weeks in that trailer.
Re:Looxury! (Score:2, Funny)
At least after a few lines your finger went numb... thank god...
Re:We do this for fun! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Easy one (Score:2, Funny)
Yeah, but is donating sperm really a job?
Re:I guess I'll weigh in (Score:3, Funny)
Re:do you worry about any other diseases? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Whatever (Score:1, Funny)
Re:The plane took a dump on me... (Score:3, Funny)
Think that sucked? I worked as a motel night auditor during my freshman year at college.
Guess what, buddy: we've met.
Re:Asume Yorkshire accent: (Score:3, Funny)
Considering all the shit I read here, I figured the relaxing part would be posting.
Re:my employer (Score:2, Funny)
Re:do you worry about any other diseases? (Score:5, Funny)
Quit joking around, we want serious solutions: not your unrealistic expectations.
Re: What, you mean you work for SCO? (Score:5, Funny)
> You mean you work for SCO both as a programmer and as a lawyer?
Come on, SCO is a software company... They don't hire programmers.
Re:How about a klaxon for a phone ringer (Score:4, Funny)
What's the phone number?
Evolution (Score:3, Funny)
Hmmm, that's tough working conditions? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Asume Yorkshire accent: (Score:5, Funny)
And yeah, I had to walk a mile or more to school in this kind of weather, for my entire educational career.
<troll>
Which, since you pick dog shit for a living, I assume was not very long?
</troll>
Re:Back in March in Iraq (Score:3, Funny)
What does the Navy call a helecopter? A Helo
What does the AF call a helecopter? A Helecopter
What does a Marine call a helecopter?
Ohh! Ahh! OHH! AHH! LOOK!
Re:Women (Score:1, Funny)
Welcome to Slashdot, where you can always remember that your first post was responded to with a suggestion that you injest semen. We're such a friendly bunch here once you get to know us. Really!
Re:My short job last year (Score:2, Funny)
Cute office mate... (Score:3, Funny)
But then, I didn't want to stare at her because I didn't want to make her feel unconfortable. But then, well, you can see that the conflicting impulses could be terrible!
Re:Asume Yorkshire accent: (Score:3, Funny)
Wow, how awful that must have been for you. I bet the guy cleaning diseased monkey cages is glad he doesn't need to put up with that kind of crap.
It's difficult, really it is (Score:2, Funny)
Now, you're asking, how could this possibly be bad?
Imagine it gets warmer (as it does occasionally here). The beach becomes quite attractive to those who don't have to sit in an office (and some who do). The lovely bay windows fill up with people flocking to and frolicking on the beach.
It's bloody distracting!
Sorority computer problems... (Score:2, Funny)
Welcome to the gray (Score:3, Funny)
The building was a non-descript structure without any external signage. Just a bland brick building like every other in this section of Portland, ME.
Inside, the office, was... well, entirely comprised of gray. The office floor was wall-to-wall carpet... a bluish shade of gray. Moving up, the walls were gray... about shade #DDDDDD. Moving up to the top, the ceiling was the same shade of gray as the walls.
So, lets say you're an office furniture outfitter... what's the first thing you do when you walk into an empty office with completely gray floors, walls and ceilings? You guessed it... you fill it full of gray office furniture. Gray cubicles, gray filing cabinets, gray desks and gray computers.
Then, the old *gray* haired guy that ran the company, who really should not have been authorized to operate a software company in the first place, hired a couple of talented programmers to maintain some old school crappy over-priced DOS app written in Qbasic. Sweeeeeeeet!
On my first day, they ordered my standard issue business cards... can you guess what color?? Blue? No. Red? No. Fluorescent orange? No. Fucking gray!
I really thought about slitting my wrists to put some color on the walls.
Re:co-workers that try to drive you crazy (Score:2, Funny)
Anyone... ?
-VolVE
I can top that. (Score:2, Funny)
But it wasn't nearly as bad as working at Dell.
Try working in porn. (Score:3, Funny)
It was gay porn.
And I was the bottom.
You might think that your boss is fucking you now but you know nothing.
Re:2guys dept store (Score:3, Funny)
I had the reverse problem with a Director of Development who liked to punch at peoples faces (to within an inch or so) as part of the daily office interaction.
We had very little to do with each other and all was well. Until one day I took in an ADO interface I had been working on which was not how he had requested (would have helped if he actually understood SQL...) and the bastard punched at my face.
Now I am 6'2" and come from a family of 6 boys - the largest of which is 6'6" and weighs around 120-130Kg. If someone tries to punch you in the face, you try and stop it - ie. block the punch and punch straight back.
So here I am, scooping his arm into an elbow lock and hauling back to smear his nose across his face when I manage to get control over my reactions again and stop my fist... fucking ridiculous...
Mind you, he didn't do that again...
Q.
Dave W. Ballard (Score:2, Funny)
Re:oh aye? (Score:3, Funny)
Oh hang on, I see what you mean... I have no idea. Makes it even better doesn't it?
Re:Women (Score:1, Funny)