Best Results From Bartering Computer Services? 1022
silicon not in the v writes "Last night I was over at some friends' house. They had cable modem with no firewall and tons of spyware, etc. on their system. They complained about all the popups and how bad it was that they were afraid to let their kids on the computer, so I set them up with ZoneAlarm, Ad Aware, and Firefox to get it cleaned up. In return, the husband, who is a chiropractor, gave my wife and I a free adjustment. What other interesting services or benefits have people been able to get by bartering IT/programming services?"
I'll take... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I'll take... (Score:5, Funny)
Well BJ for starters (Score:4, Funny)
Now if only her twin sister had the same problem
anyone (Score:5, Funny)
Re:anyone (Score:5, Insightful)
But there are too many people out there who -DEMAND- that you help them, and not only have no intention of saying thanks, or even "Hey, what do I owe you?" but "You get paid for this? All you did was press keys."
You're right. I've had total strangers in the grocery store, read my shirt, and you can -see- the "Maybe he can help me/No wait, he looks like he'll tear my arms off..." conflict. The ones that I see, I -do- offer my services to...
I get paid quite well in my 9-5 to repair computers, servers, you name it. When I am home, the last thing I need is to hunt down nine hundred copies of "Gator" and so forth because they clicked "Yes" on every gaim window and so forth.
The chiropractor in the above, wouldn't crack and pop my back into place for free... He, like I, have bills to pay, food to eat, beer to aquire... For friends and family, always free. Total strangers owe me guinness and a promise to never, ever, click "Yes" on those "trust content from...." boxes.
Re:anyone (Score:4, Funny)
People (Score:5, Insightful)
If you're too busy to fix someone's PC just tell them so, nicely.
That's respecting yourself, AND others. (ok that sounds like an after school special but it's true).
Re:I'll take... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I'll take... (Score:5, Insightful)
I've had waitress's ask me computer questions while I was waiting for food to arrive because of that shirt. All it does is tip people off that you know about computers.
Re:I'll take... (Score:5, Funny)
Perfect, this gives us the v2.0 of that shirt, which should read:
No, I will not fix your computer
then in smaller text, lower down:
A better choice... (Score:4, Funny)
It just seems more appropriate.
Re:A better choice... (Score:4, Interesting)
Geeks must like trucks. I saw a bumper sticker with that and the "replace you with a very small shell script" joke on the back window of a souped-up F-150. I've seen similar geekiness on other trucks.
It was very confusing to me - seeing a giant-ass jacked up rumbling truck with an NRA sticker and a peeing calvin on one side and "shell script" and "read your e-mail" stickers on the other.
Re:A better choice... (Score:5, Interesting)
Trucks now a days are very high tech. They almost all have GPS responders that reveal where they are, what speed they are doing etc. And truckers are lonely, so they often have internet connections for use while they are parked for the night.
I have found many truckers to be computer geeks at heart.
Re:A better choice... (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:I'll take... (Score:5, Interesting)
My Dad commutes to work every day on the train. He's gotten to be pretty friendly with the conductors/engineers over the past couple of years. One of them mentioned his troubles setting up a wireless network in his home, and my Dad offered his services to work the kinks out for him. It was a frustrating day's work getting everything tweaked just so, but it turned out to be worth it - he hasn't had to pay for a train ticket in about 3 years now. As an added bonus, whenever there's a concert or a Red Sox game, the conductors leave one car empty for my Dad and the other 'regulars' so they don't have to ride home with a train full of drunken yahoos.
Join a Barter Group (Score:4, Interesting)
I am able to trade out computer services for barter bucks which I can use to get food catering, so I don't have to spend time shopping/cooking.
The added bonus of joining a barter group is that people are way more willing to spend barter bucks than cash, so you can get value out of people who wouldn't otherwise pay you. It is also good for increasing business when you don't have a lot of it already.
Benefits. (Score:5, Funny)
Beer. And lots of it.
--saint
Re:Benefits. (Score:5, Funny)
Girlfriends and mothers get tech support for free, because one puts out and the other put me out. (Not in Soviet Russia)
Re:Benefits. (Score:4, Funny)
Lotsa free suds later I found myself playing the criminologist in the Rocky Horror Picture Show...
And someone out there even has pictures!
Re:Benefits. (Score:5, Funny)
It was a helluva good way to meet easy women. At least I think they were women...
Re:Benefits. (Score:5, Interesting)
This is were it got good. I asked him what he would recommend, not becaus I didn't understand what a latte was but because the proprieter always knows what he does best. He suggested I try a Turbo Cola. I said, "huh?"
Here's ther recipie:
3-4 ice cubes of frozen, high quality coffee.
2 shots of espresso
Fill the rest with Coke.
This turned out to be my all time favorite coffee drink. The creamy head is equal or superior to Guiness, the flavor is perfect and I've never gotten a better rev.
The monetary value of this barter is nothing to get excited about, but the store went out of business a short time after this event and I know I'm one of only a select few that got a crack at one of these drinks. I make if for myself fairly often and know that this recipe is worth far more than the drink itself. If you've never tried a coffee-cola give this recipe a try. Every person who tries one of these and loves it just increases the value of that one, simple job I did.
TW
Re:Benefits. (Score:4, Funny)
The Geeks Dream (Score:5, Funny)
I'm here to fix your hard drive... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The Geeks Dream (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The Geeks Dream (Score:5, Funny)
Could give new meaning to the concept of "being slashdotted"
Re:The Geeks Dream (Score:5, Funny)
Anyway I ended up troubleshooting problems for some of them for two semesters, which didn't bother me(see section about "all female dorm")
Turns out two of the girls pc's that I fixed very spotted in an episode of Girls Gone Wild.
Ahhhh good times.
Re:The Geeks Dream (Score:5, Funny)
Turns out two of the girls pc's that I fixed very spotted in an episode of Girls Gone Wild.
Only on Slashdot would you find a group of people that could watch GGW and spot a PC they recognize instead of a girl....
Re:The Geeks Dream (Score:4, Funny)
"Dear Slashdot, I never though this would happen to me..."
Will Work For Bandwidth. (Score:4, Interesting)
I also have a nice thing going where I host his users (on my servers), and he sends people needing web design to me.
It works out nicely.
Re:Will Work For Bandwidth. (Score:5, Funny)
"Cash or product?"
Adjustment (Score:3, Funny)
taxes (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:taxes (Score:5, Funny)
After "fixing" a computer for the government I get my taxes for free.
Beat that...
Ps. In case you work for the FBI, disregard the statement above.
Slave and Master (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Slave and Master (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Slave and Master (Score:5, Funny)
An OS with added functionality
Won't treat you like a dog or give you BSOD's
We call it - we call it UNIX
(It's posts like this that explain why I sleep alone, dammit.)
Unwanted but favorable recommendations... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Unwanted but favorable recommendations... (Score:5, Funny)
What are we doing wrong?
(I'd like to think that all of the time spent on my parents' computers would lead to the eventual "barter" of an inheritance, but it seems the casinos will keep that from ever happening.)
<grrr>
Re:Unwanted but favorable recommendations... (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:Unwanted but favorable recommendations... (Score:5, Interesting)
My friends will always complain and moan and complain and moan about their computers being hosed and their connections being slow. One even complained constantly that he couldn't get his new wireless AP to service the whole house, or how he was going to have to run a separate hardline down to the basement so that he could hook up his new Xbox.
Now these are people I've known all my life. One time I discussed, with a third-party friend, the possibility of offering my services for a fee. We both agreed,"Look, if you try to charge them for it not only will they decline, but they'll redouble their computer complaints, everyone will have to listen to it, and you'll be lucky if they offer you a beer next time you're over to watch the football game."
So I cleaned their computers and set up their wireless AP with full WEP and MAC filtering for free. Sure I got a few beers and a chicken dinner out of it but it's still a bit of a kick in the pants. I save them $200 and I get the luxury of watching the football game with them? How about they pay me $200 and get the luxury of watching the football game with me?
Ahhhhhh... to have a house, a big screen TV, and a well-stocked refrigerator. Then people would be jumping to fix _MY_ problems.
Yeah right...
Re:Unwanted but favorable recommendations... (Score:4, Interesting)
There are some people I'll help out with computer issues without charging them; these are the friends that know what I do for a living, yet rarely ask me for a favor. The friends that just assume I'll fix things for free and ask for stuff all the time get the standard thirty-bucks-an-hour line.
Personally, I think I'm better off with friends that actually like me enough to not try taking advantage of me.
I'm also nominally more willing to help those learning Linux, partially because I know the system better, and also because it's one of the ways I can give back to the community.
Re:Unwanted but favorable recommendations... (Score:5, Interesting)
The fundamental problem with this analysis is the assumption that the worth of your time is a constant. For nearly everyone, it certainly is not.
I've seen plenty of people on Slashdot evaluate their time in terms of their hourly wage. This is completely bogus. If you work a 9-5, then the value of your time between the hours of 7 and 8 PM has absolutely nothing to do with your work wage. You aren't at work between the hours of 7 to 8 PM anyway, so it makes no sense to value your time based on that standard.
For some, their off-work time is worth less than on-work. For example, people who are paid double-time to work weekends might jump at the chance to give up a few hours lounging around on Sunday in return for a few hundred bucks.
On the other hand, you have people like me, whose off-work time is so valuable that I doubt there is a quantity you could pay me (ok, within reason) to get me to come to work on Saturday. I don't think I'd do it even for $1000 a day. Okay, maybe as a one-time deal, but not consistently.
Personally, I think I'm better off with friends that actually like me enough to not try taking advantage of me.
That's why I have very few "friends." People sometimes ask me if I'm lonely. I respond that I have just as many friends as they do, it's just that I don't refer to my casual acquaintances as "friends." The three or four close friends I do have, would probably give up limbs for me, and I'd do the same.
I realized long ago that the effort of maintaining the less serious casual acquaintances just wasn't worth it. Pick your real friends and then direct all your energy toward those people. Nobody else matters.
Re:Unwanted but favorable recommendations... (Score:5, Funny)
My next skill, OBGYN!
Obligatory Relevant Penny Arcade Comic Strip (Score:4, Funny)
Way back in the early 1990s (Score:5, Interesting)
Lodging in a foreign country! (Score:5, Interesting)
My favorite thus far was an offer from a couple in Ireland who offered a night's lodging and a hearty Irish breakfast should we ever visit their fair country--in exchange for the bonus level pack.
Even though we probably won't hav ethe opportunity to take them up on the offer anytime soon, it was made in earnest, and I was happy to send them a copy of the level pack in return. Even though I can't buy beer 'n' pizza with it, this "barter" has proven far more memorable than the typical few bucks plonked in the PayPal account...
IRS (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:IRS (Score:5, Funny)
Re:IRS (Score:5, Interesting)
Of course if prostitution was legalized, there would be a lot less crime in this country, and the spread of diseases would be WAY down (ala the red light district in Amsterdam). I've known people who have traded various smokeable items for computer work in the past, that and car service are the two most memorable exchanges. Generally if somone is willing to trade sex for computer service, you're either already dating them, or the sex isn't worth the price paid
Re:IRS (Score:5, Informative)
Here [irs.gov] is some information on just that.
I am so tired of food... (Score:3, Interesting)
Not sure how great of a deal it was... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Not sure how great of a deal it was... (Score:5, Funny)
free as in beer -- a keg full (Score:3, Interesting)
Cue the funky music (Score:5, Funny)
"It's in the bedroom."
"This is going to be a long, hard job."
"Maybe my roommate can help."
Used to work in a girls dorm, so I got a lot of... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Used to work in a girls dorm, so I got a lot of (Score:5, Funny)
In college... (Score:5, Funny)
maybe... (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, come on (Score:5, Funny)
Plastic Surgery (Score:5, Interesting)
I think that beats your bone bending...
Spyware for Spyware (Score:5, Funny)
Anyway, one day he walked over to my house, knocked on the door, and demanded that I help him get all the crap off his computer. Since he's never too nice to me, I asked him why I should do this. He said if I didn't he'd make me an NSA test case for subdermal tracking devices. Empty threat, I thought to myself.
Well, I was wrong. Now I have the black vans that seem to track me at a distance. They do a good job of staying out of sight, but I know they are following me. I guess I'm comforted by the fact that someone, somewhere knows my neighbors IP and what web sites he visits.
Re:Spyware for Spyware (Score:5, Funny)
I have gotten... (Score:5, Insightful)
In return for my services in fixing friends and family's PCs and printers I have recieved:
Beer
Free labor on replacement of my water heater.
Free server hosting
A kitchen faucet (a nice lifetime warranty Moen one, but not the kitchen sink to go with it)
Discounted closing on my home mortgage
Supper
More Beer
Lots more food, including gift certificates to nice restaurants
My eternal soul... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:My eternal soul... (Score:5, Funny)
I don't think I'm alone in saying this...
You got screwed.
Re:My eternal soul... (Score:5, Insightful)
Moderation: -1 Fairy tale
-Colin [colingregorypalmer.net]
Sex in exchange for a small perl script (Score:4, Funny)
Actually, I was going to get the sex anyways, the small perl script was just what I did to prolong the sex.
Re:Sex in exchange for a small perl script (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Sex in exchange for a small perl script (Score:5, Funny)
Depends on your definition of "wear", I guess...
Re:Sex in exchange for a small perl script (Score:5, Funny)
You didn't have to write a perl script for that -- next time just set your media player to loop the video...
Hmmmph... perl script...
Re:Sex in exchange for a small perl script (Score:5, Funny)
Tor
Family Barter is the Best (Score:3, Interesting)
Bartering is a way of life around here (Score:3, Interesting)
a boat and trailer
snakes (pet snakes)
several dinners both home cooked and for restaurants
a condo for a week on the gulf
brownies and fresh baked goodies from Publix
remodeling on my house
stove
fridge
tires for my car
VCD's of old DragonBallZ bootlegs
Shiny new Columbia 300 Spirit (Score:5, Interesting)
By the way, the new ball added almost 30 pins to my average right out of the gate. If you can lay your hands on an original Spirit, they're awesome!
how about a condo for six weeks? (Score:3, Interesting)
By the way, I long ago decided not to charge money for my services. I always get something much more valuable when I ask for in-kind payment!
Wish you were here!
It went something like... (Score:5, Funny)
[ex girlfriend] I'm having problems with my PC, I keep getting popups and it freezes all the time.
[me] That stinks...
[ex girlfriend] Would you come over and fix it for me?
[me] I'm kinda busy lately...
[ex girlfriend] I'll make it worth the trip
[me] Leaving now!!!
...and it was really gwood, too!
some geek's wife (Score:5, Funny)
Got my first apartment furnished for free (Score:5, Interesting)
A month or so before I moved into my first apartment she was moving out of her one-bedroom to live with her new fiance, and so in return for my work she called me up and gave me all the furniture from her old apartment provided I move it out.
I ended up getting a futon, couch, kitchen table and chairs, two clothes chests, a couple end tables, and a slew of kitchen stuff (plates, glasses, pots etc), all in excellent condition. She essentially totally furnished my new place and it cost me nothing.
I consider this to be the best example of good karma at work I've experienced to date.
Lots of stuff (Score:4, Interesting)
Another client distributed natural foods and always sent me off with a few bags of goodies - they always had a stack of stuff that was fine except for damaged labels and such.
I ended up with some suits/ties/etc. from a men's clothier.
Dealing with IRS accounting for all that is a pain, though.
Wedding and Christening Services. (Score:3, Funny)
It's getting to be a running joke that each week or two he'll turn up at the door with printouts in hand and an unquenchable need for tea.
So I guess he bartered christian services for MS Office development and support services.
Re:Wedding and Christening Services. (Score:5, Funny)
A sad state of affairs when a minister barters with the devil...
Dear Penthouse (Score:5, Funny)
I never thought I'd be writing to you, but
Yoohoo (Score:5, Funny)
Geek heaven (Score:5, Interesting)
So, after much hinting and many awkward silences, she blurted out that she'd do anything I wanted if I bailed her out. Surely at that moment I achieved a permanent place in the Geek Hall of Fame, perhaps in the Absurd Fantasies wing.
But it gets better. You see, I was very happy with my girlfriend at the time (whom I later married), and I didn't want to mess that up by sleeping with someone she saw every day and whom I didn't trust to keep quiet. So I turned her down.
For the sex, anyway. I had her take me out to dinner instead. The stats thing she needed took me 20 minutes to run.
I was walking on air for some time after that, just based on the principle of the thing.
Re:Geek heaven (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Geek heaven (Score:5, Funny)
A classic:
A graduate student of mathematics who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle.
"Where did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know.
"It's a `thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..."
"Tell us!"
"Well", he starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!'"
One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle."
"Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!"
Law advice (Score:5, Interesting)
I was embarrassed about it, but I mentioned it to my although-I-didn't-know-it-wife-to-be, and felt that I had to plead guilty to the charge. She mentioned that her uncle was a lawyer in New Jersey, and that he was having trouble configuring his new Unix box (a Fortune computer, this was 1983.) A deal was quickly struck.
I went up there for the weekend, and got his machine configured, and he told me about this spectacular precedent called the Wenzel case in New Jersey -- where no matter what the evidence is, if the cop didn't actually see you being careless he couldn't charge you with that. He refused to represent me, but he counseled me with exactly what I had to say. Basically, although I was acting in my own defense, I couldn't testify for myself -- I would merely cite the case.
Well, traffic court in New Jersey was a long slow process, and I was the last one there when the cop finally deigned to appear. He gave his report, and I offered no explanation, but cited Wenzel, and the judge said "Get out of here." And so I did.
That barter probably saved me many thousands of dollars over the next few years.
thad
Marriage (Score:4, Interesting)
A nosy friend of my mother's fixed me up and introduction to a young lady. At the time I lived in Atlanta and she lived in Lafayette, Louisiana. We were both in school. We emailed each other and made a phone call or two for three months before she came to Atlanta to visit her mother.
Now I do Windows, but at heart I'm a Mac guy. As soon as I introduced myself to this lady, I determined that she was a Mac user. She told me that her mother was a self-employed person who ran her business out of her home on a Macintosh, and that her mother needed a great deal of computer help, which she wasn't really able to pay for.
(Lightbulb goes off).
We met. Five months later she bailed out of grad school and moved to Atlanta. We were inseparable. And I spent a lot of time, gratis, helping her mother tackle her Mac problems and get her business and office under control. I upgraded both of them to newer Macs, largely at my own expense.
When I asked the young lady to marry me, and she said "Yes," I went to her mother.
I said, "Linda, how would you like a lifetime of free technical support?"
(Wedding bells)
Re:Marriage (Score:5, Funny)
Are you sure you got a good barter out of that?
As a happily married guy myself, I say this with a lot of humor.
The start of my business (Score:4, Interesting)
I soon had people asking if I could build computers for them.. or tell them what to buy.. or better yet, if they could just hand me the money and I'd do it all for them. I mostly do it for money these days, but I regularly get tips because customers are happy with my level of honesty. Most of my tips are cash (about 10% tip on a whole computer, which is pretty big.. especially considering most parts only have 13% markup!) but I am still tipped with a couple cases of beer now and then. I've had customers ask if they could set me up with their daughters, I can get into a number of local clubs for free with no line, a few local gyms, and I get discount pricing on pretty much everything I buy.
Computer skills can get you seriously networked with people. I think that's the most important part of all. My friends are always shocked at how many people I know. We'll be talking about, say... getting a car alarm installed on my friend's POS that's been stolen a million times. I know a guy who can hook us up on pricing. I know another guy who will install it for me for free. I know a woman at the insurance agency who will pull all the strings she can to see if the new alarm will lower the insurance rates. Knowing people in places will bail you out of a million and one situations.
Forget favours like beer. Networking with people is important, and computer skills can do that for you.
I'm now 20 and just finished my second year of university; I work fewer than 10 hours a week and make more money than the average bachelor degree graduate from my school. I usually don't brag, but I think that's a pretty good accomplishment.
That's how I pay my hookers (Score:4, Funny)
Give me a raging case of herpes, and I'll clean your PC of Spyware.
Use your teeth, and I reinstall windows.
Re:free nookie (Score:4, Funny)
Re:free nookie (Score:5, Funny)
Re:A coworker of mine.. (Score:3, Funny)
Of course the other side of that deal is that I married his daughter. I think he got the cheaper end of the deal...
Re:Chiropracters == Quacks (Score:5, Informative)
Re:Chiropracters == Quacks (Score:4, Interesting)
I know that if I ever get similar problems I'll be back again, but touchwood that has never happened. Count me as one very satisfied customer.
Homeopathy and Quackery and Symptoms (Score:5, Informative)
Allergies are one area where homeopathy is useful, because you're not concerned with curing the causes, you're concerned with getting rid of the symptoms. ("Yes, I know there are trees blooming outside, I just want to stop sneezing.") Modern medicine has antihistamines that can help block the symptoms, and cause some side effects, and homeopathy has bogus quack formulations that can also help block the symptoms, and have different side effects, and depending on which one does a better job for _you_ with the allergens that are blowing around right now, and which one has more annoying side effects (e.g. drowsiness vs. stomach upset), sometimes homeopathy is the right choice. Or you can get allergy shots, which aren't really much different from well-controlled homeopathy. It's only been the last couple of years that I've found that modern medicine has products that are significantly better.
Flu is a special case. It's a virus, so if the vaccine didn't protect you this year, modern medicine mostly tells you to stay home in bed, drink hot fluids, and cover your mouth when you sneeze, and otherwise can't do much. Homeopathy is good for this - there are a couple of homeopathic preparations that can take you from feeling really lousy to merely feeling not very good, and that's a big win.
The nice thing about homeopathy is that its particularl bogus theory is that the more you dilute a medicine, the more subtle the hints it gives your body's immune system about how to attack the real problem, and therefore the stronger it is. (It's similar to the theory of making martinis that says that you should take the vermouth bottle and gesture meaningfully in the direction of the glass without actually pouring any in...) So unlike herbalist medicines, which you take in non-trivial quantities and can sometimes cause liver or kidney damage if you're not careful, most homeopathic medicines aren't going to hurt you, and the "really strong" stuff is no threat at all if it doesn't work.
Chiropractic is another quack theory that is obviously not useful for curing disease, but sometimes it can help with back and neck pain, and if you think of it as yet another form of massage, it's often somewhat helpful for many people. My first chiropractor was also an MD, which rather surprised both communities. The last one I went to wasn't able to recognize that my shoulder pains were early bursitis, so it was a while before I found a doctor who could do much about it, but at least he knew his limitations and could tell me that shoulder joints weren't something he knew about.
Re:Booty haul (Score:5, Funny)
At least she didn't give you a virus.