Harmless Pranks During a Downsizing? 140
Jailbrekr asks: "I am the I/T manager for a large horticultural firm, and will soon be a victim of aggressive downsizing. The downsizing is so aggressive that my position, the only I/T related position, will be eliminated. Being the lone gun has meant that I have held a significant amount of power within this organization, and until now, have refrained from abusing it. Seeing as I will soon be out of work, I have begun my (tongue in cheek) 'reign of terror'. To start, this week is 'Gummi Bear Week', where everyones wallpapers now have a (worksafe) gummi bear theme.What I need are suggestions. What can I possibly do that is work safe, humorous, and not something which will get me fired prematurely? During the dot bust, when downsizing was all the rage, what did the tech geeks do to abuse their power, and keep the workforce entertained during those especially stressful periods?"
DrunkenMouse or ChristmasLights (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:DrunkenMouse or ChristmasLights (Score:3, Insightful)
"I am the funeral director for a large funeral home and every weekend an entire extended family (generally minus one) comes in and over the course of a three hour ceremony just sits around looking sad, crying, and generally killing the mood around here. I am interested in ways to brighten the mood around here, it's almost like somebody fscking died or something. Anyways, last week I began my (tongue in cheek) 'Reign of Terror'. To start, this week is 'Gummi Bear Week', where I walk around
here's an idea (Score:5, Interesting)
Well, do it right... (Score:1, Insightful)
Actually happened (Score:1)
At the time, I worked in Intel Israel (74) in Haifa, which was the first design center of Intel Corp. outside of USA.
One day I and my buddy tried to display a file in our computer terminal (this was before the IBM PC era). What was displayed instead was information about the salaries of the 40+ employees which Intel Israel had at the time.
Here... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Here... (Score:1)
Simon is anything but
Games... (Score:4, Insightful)
Install games on everyones computer, and put shortcuts on the desktop. Before you know it "KILLING SPREE" will be a common noise of the work place.
Re:Games... (Score:2)
back in the day (Score:4, Interesting)
We had a shared id, and I set up a timed job to install a new
Every user that logged on started to run this program. If you asked it to list your files, it showed a blank list. If you asked for mail, it said no mail, etc. Of course, I installed a secondary password to allow me to get out and eventually delete it, but that's just planning.
Be professional (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Be professional (Score:5, Insightful)
"Run this and win a free pony: sudo rm -rf
Gave me a laugh!
Re:Be professional (Score:1)
"Format C:"
Re:Be professional (Score:3, Funny)
echo y | format c:
Re:Be professional (Score:2)
undocumented switch
Re:Be professional (Score:2)
Set an "at" event (Windows cron wannabe) to remove or rename io.sys and msdos.sys the day he's to be expired. It's not enough to be really dangerous, but it'll give the "you fucked with someone you shouldn't have" impression, and still be fairly easy to fix.
Doing the same to the kernels on all the *nix machines would be effective too.
It could have been anyone in the company, especially any one of those disgruntled recently laid
Re:Be professional (Score:2)
Re:Be professional (Score:4, Funny)
He already knows it's not professional.
At any rate, a really fun thing to do is rename/reroute all the printers. It's great fun to see someone try to print out their document five times with no response, then have a coworker track them down hours later with a huge stack of duplicates.
If you're phone system is programmable, (and your phones have LCD displays) you can setup specific messages when specific extensions ring.
Remap keyboards, and then log out of the machine. This works great if the user of that specific workstation's name is automatically filled in (or in the case of XP, you only have to click on it).
Ultimately, I wish you could do something like rewrite the local routing tables, or 'corrupt' the backups, or infect the network with a benign virus, then miraculously come to the rescue, thus proving your worth to the company
Good luck, mate.
Don't assume everyone will like your humour... (Score:4, Insightful)
Just remember this: as much as first impressions count, so do last ones.
Re:Be professional (Score:2)
Re:Be professional (Score:1)
zerg (Score:5, Insightful)
Just don't do something stupid like running magnets over all of the backup tapes, that would be wrong and terribly illegal, especially if someone were to hollow out the inner workings of all of the servers.
Re:zerg (Score:1)
Try this: download a couple gigs of granny anal-fisting porn and change the backup scripts to fill the tapes with that!
BSOD screen saver (Score:5, Funny)
- doug
Re:BSOD screen saver (Score:1)
Re:BSOD screen saver (Score:2)
Re:BSOD screen saver (Score:2)
I have an idea... (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:I have an idea... (Score:5, Funny)
Haha you suck
Re:I have an idea... (Score:1)
Haha you suck
That is jusr so wrong...but I laughed anyway.
Re:I have an idea... (Score:5, Interesting)
Obviously there will be a handful of people that won't get it, but they are usually well known as difficult. Admins are used to this sort of person because they have to deal with them all the time. (Note: "used to" and "like" can be miles apart.)
One thing that I do agree with is "stressed out as my livelyhood" bit. He shouldn't do things like deactivate everyone's accounts. That would get people thinking that they had been axed and hadn't been told. That would cross the line.
- doug
Re:I have an idea... (Score:2)
Re:I have an idea... (Score:1)
Out of all the trolls, and other helpful yet misguided suggestions, you sir understand the exact predicament I am in. I want to abuse my powers for good, and not evil. I don't want to reset passwords or disrupt the working environment, I want to make people giggle despite the knowledge that they will soon be unemployed.
Having said that, I have employed the script that changes the HP printer screen. Harmless fun.
PS: I am getting Gummi bear requests now. It seems that they were quite a hit wit
Don't do it (Score:4, Insightful)
Once when my sysadmin/netadmin/everything job was finally eliminated when the boss called me in to tell me he complained that nothing was working because they shut everything down to change passwords and such. The worse I did was tell him that wasn't my problem anymore. I never tried to get in. I let him worry that I could.
Do the professional thing - which is, don't do anything.
Your next employer might just call this one to see what they say about you.
Re:Don't do it (Score:2)
Re:Don't do it (Score:2, Insightful)
Recruiter: Hello, Mr. Former Boss. I have a few questions about a former employee of yours. Do you have some time to answer some questions?
Mr. Former Boss: Sure, go right ahead.
Recruiter: Can you tell me all of your former employees good qualities?
Mr. Former Boss:(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
Recruiter: Ah, excuse me but I ask
Re:Don't do it (Score:2)
Re:Don't do it (Score:2)
Actually, I believe the CYA response is "I can confirm that so and so was employed here between THISDATE and THATDATE."
They might also be able to give out job titles, possibly even job descriptions.
Re:Don't do it (Score:3, Insightful)
There will always be something they realize they didn't get a few months down the line, like the router passwords. If they hire someone really good on, they can
Re:Don't do it (Score:2)
Be a pro. The same guys that walked me out of the building gave me stellar references. Not everyone laughs at the same jokes. Have some fun with your friends on the job. Read some
"keep the workforce entertained'? (Score:2, Insightful)
People are about to be fired, lives uprooted, and you're screwing with their computers?
Glad I don't work with you. I don't know if I'd be able to restrain myself from beating the bloody pulp out of you.
If you really want to be a useful member of society, you'd start making phone calls, setting up some training, helping all those people about to be let go line something else up.
Yourself included.
If *I* were about to be laid off, the last thing I'd be thinking about would be gummi wor
Re:"keep the workforce entertained'? (Score:1, Insightful)
Glad I don't know you -- you sound like an asshole with no sense of humor...and you can't control your temper.
Re:"keep the workforce entertained'? (Score:3, Informative)
My goal with these pranks is to make them smile. So far, the gummi bears have worked splendidly. So much so, I am getting requests for other gummi bear wallpapers. You see, it makes them smile desp
Get some perspective. (Score:2)
Now get back to work.
So sayeth Bartleby,the world's most dedicated Scrivner. Listen to his wisdom, young Slashdotters, and you to may have the priviledge of dying at your desk one day, just like him.
===---===
harmless pranks (Score:2, Funny)
Re:harmless pranks (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:harmless pranks (Score:2)
I remember a few years ago, in the days of Windows 3.1 and Novell, I used 'debug' to change a copy of win.com so that the first few bytes were the call to Int 11 that logged you out of the Novell network. I then copied this into another collegues network account and wrote a batch file to backup his win.com on his C: drive, and copy mine in. I knew he ran a batch file when he logged in everyday, so
Change everyone's web browser start page (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Change everyone's web browser start page (Score:5, Funny)
It turns out my year-old daughter LOVES the badger song. She giggles and laughs at "A SNAKE! A SNAKE!! oooh... it's a snake"
So now every time my wife surfs I gotta put up with the badger song. Worst backfire to a practical joke ever. I have nightmares about badgers & mushrooms now.
Re:Change everyone's web browser start page (Score:2)
I've had nightmares about badgers and mushrooms for years, ever since my trip to Amsterdam.
Now, what's this website you're talking about?
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Change everyone's web browser start page (Score:1)
http://www.greymatter.org/satanichamsterdance/ [greymatter.org]
Re:Change everyone's web browser start page (Score:2)
Same thing with my two roommates.
They love the badger badger badger...if I seem them around campus and we're far away they start making the badger motion and they abuse me later if I don't -- and it sucks to be beat up by girls.
-davidu
Re:Change everyone's web browser start page (Score:1)
"magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic MUSHROOM MUSHROOM"
Which explains the psychedelic colours.
And the snake.
Re:Change everyone's web browser start page (Score:2)
Why 1/4 as evil when you can have FULLSCREEN?
Re:Change everyone's web browser start page (Score:2)
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/24/
How about bananaphone? (Score:2)
Change startup.wav (Score:2)
Re:Change startup.wav (Score:2)
The version performed by William 'On key? What is this on key thing you speak of?' Hung.
Laser printer hack (Score:3, Interesting)
--trb
Re:Laser printer hack (Score:2)
INSERT $.25
into the LCD of an HP printer: 2 minutes
Watching the puzzled reaction of your cow-orkers? Priceless.
We actually watched people looking around for a spot to put the quarter. Absolutely hilarious-- no end to the funny things that you can put in there.
freewarehome.com, Pranks (Score:3, Informative)
Unfortunately, I have no clue if they'll run on XP.
Think about this. (Score:5, Insightful)
If this company is going to continue operating it will need support for its IT infrastructure. Where will this support be coming from? There is no one better to support them, right now, than you so, use this as an opportunity. Set yourself up as a consultant or the one they outsource their support to. This lets them keep operating smoothly and offers you a chance at a pay rise.
It happens like this all the time. The full-time IT staff is downsized, only to return the next day as contractors getting paid much more than they were the day before.
If however, you play pranks and are generally unprofessional about the job then you lose your job and a good opportunity.
Re:Think about this. (Score:1, Insightful)
Re:Think about this. (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Think about this. (Score:1)
WTF? (Score:1)
Give everyone administrator privileges (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Give everyone administrator privileges (Score:3, Insightful)
This has the advantage that you could do this with a straight face, too. "Sir, since I'll be leaving and don't want you to suffer any downtime I'll need to transfer the Admin/root privileges to each user until you decide upon a new sysadmin."
But it's the most evil revenge possible, giving heavy firepower to the incompetent. Only the wise will ask you if they can get into trouble wielding power; most droids will just assume the mantle and start directing the broom to carry the water pails.
(It would be a g
Re:Give everyone administrator privileges (Score:3, Informative)
Better yet, give admin privs to all of the managers at senior and middle level. They won't complain about their newfound powers, and most won't have the skill or objective view to use them safely.
It's only a matter of time before the shoot themselves in the foot!
Bad attitude, man (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:Bad attitude, man (Score:2)
It's all fun and games until somebody loses a job (Score:2, Insightful)
Social hacking vs System cracking (Score:5, Insightful)
Having said that... enjoy your "paid vacation". Don't put in overtime or give the extra effort unless you know the rank-and-file workers (not management) will be harmed by it.
Turn the pager and cellphone off when you're not at work.
Take time every day to look at the newspaper's job section -- even if you've already got something lined up.
This is place-specific, but... if your company has an informal dress code, show up in a suit and tie. And make sure that you are adamant about your hours that day -- or cut back a few hours. If you're in a suit-and-tie office, tweak the dress code as far as possible within the letter of the rules.
Take the time to correspond with friends and contacts, giving them all your new email address.
Catch up on your reading. Put your name in ink on your computer books, or if you want to be bold, pick up just about anything else. You know what will be least (or most) upsetting to your coworkers.
If at all possible, try not to write any kind of scripts to automate your job. This sounds petty on the surface, but if/when something breaks you don't want to be getting any phone calls -- or having it look like you got in to break something. Unless you're getting a nice stay-bonus or severance package, what happens after you're gone is not your problem.
Build bridges, don't burn them (Score:5, Insightful)
Horticulture is a good model for your preparation:
First, prepare the ground. Make an extra effort to make sure that things will run as smoothly as possible, put together a plan for them that includes what you, in your professional opinion, consider the minimum admin support - perhaps a visit once per month.
Fertilize. If you do this, you may develop the first valued customer in your consulting business, which might continue after you take another job ==> extra $$. They already trust you enough to employ you; now they will know they can trust you enough to retain you.
Plant the seed. Ask them for a letter of recommendation. Ask the boss to send it to his friends, citing the reasons he is forced to let you go. He may well find you your new job, or several good consulting prospects.
Water and nurture. This may be the opportunity for you to establish your new life at the next level.
Have faith. Watch as God (or whoever you prefer to consider) gives rain and sun to your new life.
start up a jobs mailing list (Score:3, Insightful)
So you should "abuse" your leet IT skills to setup that mailing list to facilitate the "networking" and set up proper filters or make sure it is not published anywhere, otherwise the headhunter/spammers will get a hold of it, :)
Pathetic! (Score:3, Insightful)
Here's a complex idea (Score:4, Interesting)
Set it to music (a midi file of "The Way We Were" or Chicago's "If You Leave Me Now" would be pretty darn funny), compress it all into a flash (or similar) slideshow, and set everyone's homepage to the page that lets them launch it.
Sensitive types will cry, easily amused types will laugh, and they'll all think about their coworkers in a more positive light.
What not to do... (Score:3, Insightful)
Remember that the management droids (HR, etc) are probably going to make it through the cut (since they're usually the ones making the cuts). And they're also the ones that will be writting your letter of recommendation or being listed on your references. Since you've been the "lone gun" ITman, that could be a very valuable recommendation. So while trying to lighten the mood and play the prankster to releive your stress and that of the other workers, remember not to step on the toes of those being left behind, their recommendation could be the one that helps you land your next job.
Re:What not to do... (Score:2)
But I always keep in mind the possiblity that rather than calling my carefully selected reference listed that they might instead call up the business directory listing for the company and then get some random person (probably in HR, hopefully working their way to somebody nearer to unit level that actually knows something) other than the carefully selected reference. Why do I worry about that? Because that's what I do when checking out freelancers I subcontract.
Also, those unit
Did this on april fools' day (Score:5, Funny)
Then we changed 1/3 of the office machines' hosts file to point google.com domain requests to it.
In mid-may, a few people still had it on their machines, and had NOT sought assistance in removing it because they didn't want to call attention to it. Heh.
Re:Did this on april fools' day (Score:1)
so, does anybody actually RTA? (Score:5, Insightful)
How come everybody is all "Don't be 'that' guy", rather than attempting to understand the intent of the post? He even states, IN THE TEXT that he's looking for harmless things to do that will KEEP EVERYBODY AMUSED. I mean, it takes like, what, 5 minutes to do stuff like change the wallpaper for well administered workplaces?
Seriously, he's not doing damage, and he doesn't seem to be interested in malicious behavior, just some fun for dark times.
here's one:
Set up a message broadcast system and play a game of simon says with everybody in the office.
professional (Score:4, Informative)
At this point it should be 9-5, an hour for lunch off site, and no after hours phone calls. Got banked flex time? Use it up now.
Beyond that you really should look at what you can do to eliminate any suggestion that you didn't do your core job. Yes, that means updating essential documentation of those things that you were hired to do. Stuff that you did as a favor can be ignored.
In fact, write it up, add a table of contents, and hand over the cerlox bound (aka, not machine readable)copy on your way out the door.
Clear your workstation of any programs or files that aren't 100% company issue, nuke all non-company e-mail and files, and then sanitize the hard drive so that you don't have to worry about someone finding the stuff later. Tell your co-workers to do the same. Do this a week or two before your last day.
If there is the slightest chance of a lawsuit - and hey, spend a couple hundred bucks on an employment lawyer to see what is and isn't negotiable - you should be copying records of work done and hours worked and taking them offsite. Not internal confidential information, but the paperwork that will support any claim that you might make.
Again, tell your co-workers to do the same.
Finally, do not assume that your employer knows or is telling you the truth about what your rights might be under the law. Depending on your jurisdiction you may be eligible for more severance pay than they offer. Ask your lawyer.
Ask your employer for letter of reference as early on as possible. Even better, write it for them and offer to let them just copy it to letterhead and sign it. Having that letter pretty much assures that they'll say good things about you if they are called. It also will prove valuable if the rest of the company disappears and there is no-one who can actually be contacted.
Although some employers would not approve, it is a good idea to send your personal e-mail to as many contacts as possible before the company shuts down your account. A lot of people who know you as joe@hort.com will have great trouble finding you once that address is gone.
And remember - on the last day it doesn't matter how late you are, how early you leave, or how you dress. And you don't have to shake the hand of the people who are firing you.
Keep it Simple (Score:1, Interesting)
There's lots of malevolent things that can be done, and as we can see people are fast to hand these out and condemn you for mentioning the idea at all. The big cool stuff has potential for backfiring. So keep it simple, and be sure to back it out (and write down instructions to back it out, just in case).
The shop I left still has no IT person 3 years later. They get by with simply avoiding change and have
Character (Score:1, Insightful)
Bogus Email Alerts (Score:1)
One Word (Score:2)
ESheep [lineone.net].
Change all passwords on the last day. (Score:2)
Here are some REASONABLE things to do: (Score:2)
1) set everyone's wallpaper to a funny, non-sexual scene.
2) Change everyone's mouse pointers to one of windows non-stanard ones.
3) Change the login scripts to play the funeral march when they log in.
4) Send an admin message that pops up a window and says "Quit Working, it's time to go home!" at 4:59 PM.
Farewell Symphony (Score:1)
You can't (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:No, they don't (Score:2)
Be *very* careful (Score:1)
If you give them "just cause" to fire you, you've got nothing.
a valuable document for your exact situation (Score:2)
Do some "maintenance" on your boss' computer ... (Score:2)
Probably lame, but I started having fun with names (Score:2)
We actually just started having more fun at work, then making changes to the network. We would lob our "stress balls" at anything interesting, and unbreakable.
The real maliciousness, however, was after we were laid off. I took the relocation package and moved to Kansas, but that's when all the probl
Aluminum Foil + Too Much Time (Score:2)
Just saw this a few minutes ago. Not tech related, but still quite amusing.
+ 1 Insightful? WTF (Score:2, Informative)
#1 is illegal, it's called blackmail, and your stupid ass will be dragged to jail if you try that.
#2 is simply called theft, and you won't make it three days with this one.
Re:First Ninnle Prank! (Score:2)
Is it too kinky for Google, or have I just been trolled?