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Most Fun Way to Leave a Bad Job? 371

medscaper asks: "I have an awesome opportunity this morning. Since the market is opening up, I was offered a great new tech job over the weekend, and have been stuck in a miserable one for the past several years. I spend more time stressing out and anxious about keeping my job than getting any quality work done. I'm SO looking forward to walking into my boss's office this morning to let him know that I'll be leaving. I'm tempted to do it with style, especially because I got a (completely unwarranted) PHB-style threatening lecture last week about my work habits. I really don't need the recommendation or a reference, so it doesn't matter much how I leave. Should I politely give the standard 2-weeks? Or should I have a little fun with it and burn some bridges? Anyone have any stories to relate?"
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Most Fun Way to Leave a Bad Job?

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  • by Crazy Ukrainian ( 581427 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @01:22AM (#10186391)
    Fight your boss, or better yet, if he has a 'private' office, kick the shit out of yourself and make him call security, and make it look like he beat you when you told him you'd be leaving.
    • by Directrix1 ( 157787 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @01:54AM (#10186549)
      Well, you could do that. Or you could go a step further and: replace everyone's desktop with a bitmap image of their desktop (of course I like to make a batch file that runs at startup and just continuously renames the desktop so icons disappear and reappear), sign up the companys mailing lists to as many spam lists as you can find, jam pencil leads in the dollar slot of the vending machines, wd-40 his break pads, leave sexually harassing notes for your coworkers from your boss, and eat all the good donuts in the breakroom. Of course if you had a single neuron in that skull of yours you would not have the audacity to assume that you're new job is going to work out. Assume for just one moment that maybe having options to fall back on is a good thing. Now quit posting to slashdot and decide something for yourself. I think you know the answer already.
      • Of course if you had a single neuron in that skull of yours you would not have the audacity to assume that you're new job is going to work out. Assume for just one moment that maybe having options to fall back on is a good thing.

        I couldn't agree more. Even if you don't need the reference for this new job, most prospective employers want to be able to contact at least your last 2 or 3 employers, and it's not unusual for companies to ask for a complete work history going back as far as 7-10 years, with non-
  • Just leave (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Bob Cat - NYMPHS ( 313647 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @01:23AM (#10186404) Homepage
    Tell nicely them you're leaving in two weeks, and they'll likely escort you out NOW. As you are leaving, tell them you are available for two weeks at $200/hr (for any part of an hour) to answer any questions.

    Tell them you need to be paid in adavance.

    Good luck in your new job.
    • Re:Just leave (Score:5, Interesting)

      by DZign ( 200479 ) <> on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @04:33AM (#10187106) Homepage
      That's the easy solution..

      As others posted, don't anything they can call the police for.
      About burning bridges, think well what you do and how you bring it. You can burn bridges but make it sound as if it's not your fault, try to make it their fault that you don't want to work for them anymore.

      You can be creative about the way you're going to tell your boss. You don't have to say you've found a new job. So as far as your boss knows, there can be another reason to leave your job, like that threatening lecture you speak about.

      It depends on who you are but you can use this in many ways. Just go to him and say you've thought about what he said then and you find it unfair and therefor don't want to work for the company anymore.
      Or you can even act as you've got a depression because of it, start crying that you did your best and didn't want to disappoint him and liked working there so much but didn't expect it and.....
      There are many possible ways but it depends on who you are and the situation at the company.

      I had something similar, left a consultancy job 2 years ago, the boss was a jerk.. but I was polite, didn't burn bridges.
      A month ago the company phoned me back, first to ask me if I still had documentation or even source code from a specific project I did for them.. Later their true reason for contacting me came out, they had a big project starting and needed to hire someone, and as I had that specific experience, they wanted to hire me for a few months. It felt very good to say no to them :-)
      • Re:Just leave (Score:4, Insightful)

        by Not_Wiggins ( 686627 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @02:38PM (#10192572) Journal
        I agree with everything except the negative sentiments towards your old job (even if talking with a new company).

        ALWAYS present leaving a job on good terms, if you can.

        You might not think about it now, but do you really want a future employer to even have to decide if you left because your old boss was a jerk or you were the jerk?!?

        Bad jobs happen... people have bad worker/employer fits all the time.

        You want your future employers to see that you were able to handle a bad situation gracefully; it'll add to your credit.

        (Although not in the parent of this reply, but from the original poster): "you're not going to use them as a reference" suggests you'd rather have a multi-year gap in your employment history than show you were gainfully employed? Bad move.
  • by kagaku ( 774787 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @01:24AM (#10186411)
    Have you never seen Office Space []?
  • Vacation! (Score:5, Interesting)

    by vandalman ( 746235 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @01:24AM (#10186412)
    Take a two week vacation and come back to a message saying something like, "So I guess your not going to work here anymore, come get your last paycheck." It worked for me, it should work for you!

    I did let the mean old lady know I was going on vacation, she just forgot.
  • by NanoGator ( 522640 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @01:26AM (#10186421) Homepage Journal
    Yeah, it might be fun, but you never know when you will bump into people you worked with down the road.
    • by kwerle ( 39371 ) <> on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @01:52AM (#10186534) Homepage Journal
      The only time I'd really be tempted to issue the big FOAD is if I was leaving the area, and/or the profession. Even then, I'd make it real clear who the FOAD was for, who it was not for, why I was stating it, etc.

      I have ALWAYS insisted on an exit interview, and one time I was not real nice - another time I was very clear to HR that I would never ever work for so and so ever again.

      If you go for the FOAD, I suggest you do the exit interview first.
    • by St. Arbirix ( 218306 ) <> on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @02:17AM (#10186646) Homepage Journal
      So my uncle does shipping right? He was the guy who got the Canadian company to ship food from various places to Iraq back when that's what the U.N. was all about. The deal for his company was pretty nice, 7 figures, and he was going to get 10%. His ass of a boss fired him after working 10 months on the project, 2 months before he'd get his 10%.

      So then he got a new job. Sorta the same thing. He was working there about half a year before his boss there got promoted or something, gone, right? Then his company hires a shiny new boss for my uncle... and it's his old boss who fired him. The guy got canned himself for firing my uncle and dicking up the company.

      My uncle tells the funniest stories. Since then he's sold baby formula to Africa, used cars, and now he's in Kuwait organizing shipping to Iraq once again.

      • by CGP314 ( 672613 ) <(ten.remlaPyrogerGniloC) (ta) (PGC)> on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @03:40AM (#10186949) Homepage
        So my uncle does shipping right?

        How the hell should I know?
      • He was the guy who got the Canadian company to ship food from various places to Iraq back when that's what the U.N. was all about. [...] and he was going to get 10%. [...] Since then he's sold baby formula to Africa, used cars, and now he's in Kuwait organizing shipping to Iraq once again.

        So, are there any other fringe benefits of being the nephew of Satan?
        • by Anonymous Coward
          +1 Insightful. Anyone that sells baby formula (I'm assuming Nestlé or Danone, 'cause they make practically all of it) to developing countries who'd be MUCH BETTER OFF educating their mothers to breast-feed should die a very slow, painful, horrible death.

 . ht ml
 /Cor pRights_HumanNeed.html
 24/World/0,6119,2-10_130 8508,00.html
      • by TomSawyer ( 100674 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @05:24AM (#10187260) Homepage
        My uncle tells the funniest stories.

        Too bad it doesn't appear to be hereditary.

    • by Nos. ( 179609 ) <andrew@ t h e> on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @03:00AM (#10186828) Homepage
      Precisely, but ask for an exit interview. Explain why you are leaving, and why you don't like the position. If nothing else, your (former) co-workers might get a bit of a break. Also, sometimes management may not actually realize the environment they're creating.
      • It's possible to combine humor and honesty in a resignation.

        Wait for the next time your job pisses you off. Try to put yourself in a situation where something unfair will be done to you. When it happens say, "That's it! I can't take it anymore! I'm leaving! You have pushed me too far!" They'll try to apologize and beg you not to overreact, but you'll be walking out the door.

        If done just right, the person who wronged you will look bad for having directly caused employee attrition.
    • I hated my last job. The bosses were always jerks to everyone, they engaged in shady business practices and I never saw a raise even though I busted my butt to keep the place afloat when we were understaffed and turning over employees like flapjacks. I left on pretty amicable terms...

      That is, right up until I went down to the US Bankruptcy courts and the IRS to report that the owner was skimming cash to avoid paying back his creditors. And also dropped a few notes to the FBI about their sex tourism business bussing guys down to Mexico and finding them hookers. And dropping a few lines to the FTC about unsolicited junk faxing. And letting their largest clients know just how much mark-up they were paying. And...

      They probably don't know it was me, as they left a long string of disgruntled employees. Whenever I think about it, I just smile smugly, wondering how much jail time they'll end up with.

  • Don't Burn Bridges (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @01:27AM (#10186425)
    You NEWER know where someone will end up in 5 years. The Boss you screw over today could be interviewing you in 5 years at some other company.

    I know a guy who used to work in a specific industry, then went to work for one of the large consulting firms. He was sent to one of the companies to pitch a $30M project. He ended up pitching to someone he had seriously screwed a number of years earlier. Needless to say regardless of his current companies abilities, they didn't get the contact.
    • MOD PARENT UP (Score:5, Insightful)

      by SewersOfRivendell ( 646620 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @01:40AM (#10186481)
      Seriously, AC is giving you solid advice -- don't burn bridges. Doesn't matter if he's an asshole. You never know who you're going to work with again or why circumstances should conspire to make you do so...
    • by jamesh ( 87723 )
      In addition, don't burn bridges for your co-workers. I used to work in a manufacturing plant for a major computer company. The plant was sold to a contract manufacturer startup, with the original owner being the major client. After a while things weren't going so well, and some staff were layed off. On his last day, some fsckwit sent an email addressed to 'l.gerstner' (the head guy at the original owner and major client).

      The email contained an ASCII moon, and not the kind you'd normally see hanging in the
      • by bwt ( 68845 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @10:15AM (#10188587) Homepage
        In addition, don't burn bridges for your co-workers.

        I agree. Be classy. People will remember how you left. If your real motivation is to screw the company, do it with a smile while being polite -- put in two weeks notice, actually do your work, and quietly try to recruit other key people to leave too. This way, your coworkers will remember that you were a good guy (whether they follow you or not).
    • by Anonymous Brave Guy ( 457657 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @10:52AM (#10189018)
      The Boss you screw over today could be interviewing you in 5 years at some other company.

      Perhaps more significantly, your boss's boss or peer, who had nothing against you until they heard from your boss how you screwed him, could be interviewing you later on somewhere else.

      Never burn bridges, ever. It's unprofessional, and your professional reputation is worth more than any temporary smugness you might achieve.

  • by bscott ( 460706 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @01:31AM (#10186441)
    I could write paragraphs on pranks you could pull, but frankly if you can't think of your own, it would be pointless - you're not the type.

    The only other "meaningful" way to go would be to use the opportunity to give a message to the downtrodden you're leaving behind. Show them just how lazy, insubordinate, and unmotivated one can be without actually getting fired (for the duration of however long you have left) - just be a really bad example to other employees, and watch management squirm in their inability to fire you in today's litigious climate... ideally, the outcome of this act could be that everyone else will realize their true position, begin acting similarly, and perhaps management will be forced into a corner with regards to how they treat their 'human resources'. Businesses treat employees like shit only when they think they can get away with it.

    See the movie "Office Space" for some hints.
  • Have some fun and paint a big red penis on your PHB's door, reminiscent of Penny-Arcade [].
  • by HunterZ ( 20035 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @01:34AM (#10186456) Journal
    "Fuck you,fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, fuck you, I'm out."

    I've been tempted to do that one at work, since I'm about to leave a fast food job for a much better paying software development job.
  • See how long it takes to get fired. You might just get another paycheck out of it. Make sure to bring in a boom box so you can freak out and dance your way out. Wear a tshirt saying something like "^Name$ buggers blind billy goats!" with the goatse pic on the back.

    I hate the "bridge" anecdote. People aren't bridges. If they are fuckwits, cut 'em loose, you don't want to work with them again anyway. The real people will outshine those lesser lifeforms that will still be in middle management 10 years fr
  • Ask for a promotion (Score:5, Interesting)

    by narratorDan ( 137402 ) <> on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @01:44AM (#10186497)
    Go into your PHB's office and ask for a promotion or a raise or just about what ever you want keeping in mind that he most likely will not give it to you. Then tell him that he has two weeks to think about it.

    • Bad Move (Score:4, Insightful)

      by Dr. Bent ( 533421 ) <> on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @02:22AM (#10186667) Homepage
      Taking a promotion or a raise instead of leaving for a new job is usually a bad, bad idea.
      1. They think (know) you're disloyal. When it's time for layoffs, you'll be the first to go.
      2. It's possible they're just giving you a raise to give them time to find your replacement. Whenever they're ready, you might be out the door (having passed on your other job offer already).
      3. To use a poker analogy, managers don't like being check-raised. If you think this won't effect their professional/personal opinion of you in the long term, you're wrong.
      4. Most importantly: If you hate the job enough to look for another one, why would you stay? Is the raise/promotion really worth it?

      • Not Necessarily (Score:4, Interesting)

        by Un0r1g1nal ( 711750 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @03:36AM (#10186925)
        Depends how good you are, my mate was on £23k a year ago, and had had enough, told his boss he wanted more money or he was off, so they gave him £26k, this year he didnt even have to approach his boss, they approached him and gave him £29k.

        The only problem is when your either crap and they don't want you any way, or your boss is an ass who thinks your bluffing. Then of course you are going to have to find a new job because you know they wont promote you anyway.
      • Re:Bad Move (Score:5, Interesting)

        by Khazunga ( 176423 ) * on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @05:26AM (#10187270)
        That's a myth. Put yourself in a middle manager's shoes. Would you raise all twenty people in your charge all they deserve, or just enough they won't complain? You may say that if you get paid a lot, you're a bigger target for layoff. That's absolutely true. But then, asking for raises above average is for above average types.
      • Re:Bad Move (Score:5, Funny)

        by thenerdgod ( 122843 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @08:45AM (#10187976) Homepage
        "Taking a promotion or a raise instead of leaving for a new job is usually a bad, bad idea.
        1. They think (know) you're disloyal. When it's time for layoffs, you'll be the first to go.
        2. It's possible they're just giving you a raise to give them time to find your replacement. Whenever they're ready, you might be out the door (having passed on your other job offer already).
        3. To use a poker analogy, managers don't like being check-raised. If you think this won't effect their professional/personal opinion of you in the long term, you're wrong.
        4. Most importantly: If you hate the job enough to look for another one, why would you stay? Is the raise/promotion really worth it?

        " All I have to say is, sure, go ahead, ask for a promotion. Ask for Money. Ask for Power. Ask them to offer you everything you ask for. The point isn't that you want all of that. The point is: "I want my father back, you sonofabitch!"
      • If instead of coming at them with "give me what I want or I'm out of here", you instead make the case that you are actually worth more on the open market, you won't necessarily be putting your employer in a box. He can, in fact, look at it one of three ways:

        1) He could disagree, in which case you can turn that into an amicable parting of the ways. I.e. I've found an offer more suitable to my career growth and I've decided to take it. I left a job like this once. I was turned down for a promotion, but
  • by tvadakia ( 314991 ) <(tvadakia) (at) (> on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @01:48AM (#10186521) Homepage
    never burn bridges.
  • by c.r.o.c.o ( 123083 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @01:49AM (#10186527)
    About a year ago I was working in the tech support department in one of the universities in Toronto. Every summer the older employees had to create presentations to train the new employees before the school year would start. My task, as luck would have it, was to teach them how the wireless network was set up, and what software/hardware was required to connect to it. As any good employee, I spent a couple of my afternoons working on the Powerpoint slides, got it ready on time even though I did not get paid for the extra time I worked on it.

    The setup was fairly involved because it required a VPN client that was not easy to set up, and a user name and password, which again, were complicated to obtain. On top of that, each MAC address had to be registered with the server. A day before the presentation, the entire system was changed. the VPN client was dumped in favour of a proxy system, which still required a user name and password. Needless to say, my presentation was worthless, and I was required to redo it within a day. I started working on it, but because I had made plans for the evening, I decided to finish it at the last moment the next day. I never got around to it.

    I should mention this was not a 9-5 job, the shifts were 4 hours long. I even had to work from 3-11pm and then the next morning from 8am-3pm. Now for the rest of my story.

    The day my unfinished presentation was due was such a beautiful, hot summer day I decided to ride my motorcycle to work. I thought I could wing it on the spot, and the whole way I kept thinking of it. The closer I got to the campus though, the more I dreaded having to deal with a problem I had not created. So I rode into the campus when I saw one of my supervisors walking around. But instead of turning into the parking lot, I just kept on going.

    Later that evening I pulled up on a friend's driveway in Ottawa, about 450km away from the stupid presentation and my former job. I came back a week later to collect my last paycheck. That's how I quit my bad job.
  • by complete loony ( 663508 ) <> on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @01:56AM (#10186555)
    Help what friends you have try to get other jobs. Try to encourage a mass migration.
  • by austad ( 22163 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @02:00AM (#10186575) Homepage
    The IT industry is small, and as much as I've wanted to do that in the past, I'm glad I didn't. That being said, I give you this: html []

    I hope that any ideas it gives you are deserved of the people on the receiving end.

  • by jezmund ( 102188 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @02:09AM (#10186616) Homepage
    Don't piss anyone off! While it may be satisfying to finally tell some one off, it's just not worth it. Look at it this way; it doesn't cost you anything to just quietly and politely leave. Whereas your boss or some one he knows may one day be in a position to make life difficult for you. I've burned bridges in the past, and have almost always regretted it. I have never had occassion to regret the few opportunities I've been smart enough to take the high road. You can certainly express unhappiness as you leave, but I would avoid doing anything rash. Just my two cents.
  • by flikx ( 191915 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @02:11AM (#10186623) Homepage Journal

    I once left a dismal job a few years back. I tore up my office, made it a total mess. There were dead-man switches galore, and I 'accidentally' broke every build. I clogged several toilets, on multiple floors, in both mens and womens restrooms. I brought in a bunch of rotten food, and left it in various locations. I installed a ton of spyware and uninstalled all virus checking software, after filling the network shares with several gigabytes of the most nasty pornography I could find. I filled my desktop machine with quick-dry cement. On the way out, I even scraped my boss's dinky little car with my truck.

    That was one of the most satisfying experiences in my life. I can't wait to get into a crappy job again!

    • I guess that was a joke ...

      But seriously, before you go over the top in plotting your revenge on your current boss, don't forget that he can do other things than sack you. He can withhold your last paycheck, your accrued holiday. He can track you down at your new job and spill the beans to your new boss. If you do something illegal, he can call in the police. Or much, much worse!

      • He can track you down at your new job and spill the beans to your new boss.

        Depends on where you live. If you're in a 'right to work' state, this is grounds for some serious law suits. And an ass whoopin.
        • Re:Burn the bridges (Score:4, Informative)

          by Hank Reardon ( 534417 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @05:08AM (#10187211) Homepage Journal

          ...He can withhold your last paycheck, your accrued holiday.

          I had somebody try this on me once and discussed the issue with a friend who's an HR manager. It seems that withholding paychecks and accrued pay is against Federal labor laws. You don't want to screw with them.

          They have to take you to civil court to get you to pay them back for any damages you might have caused.

          He can track you down at your new job and spill the beans to your new boss. If you do something illegal, he can call in the police. Or much, much worse!
          Depends on where you live. If you're in a 'right to work' state, this is grounds for some serious law suits. And an ass whoopin.

          Even if you weren't in a Right to Work state, this is usually not acceptable. From what I recall, even on reference checks, the only things you can really reveal about a former employee are their hire dates, salary and whether they're elligable for rehire.

          Depending on what's said, and how much proof they have, you could also slap them with libel or slander.

          • by theonetruekeebler ( 60888 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @07:54AM (#10187697) Homepage Journal
            the only things you can really reveal about a former employee are their hire dates, salary and whether they're elligable for rehire.

            "Mr. Smith? Hi, this is Mr. Anderson over at Fubarco? You hired one of our former employees, a Mr. Jones? I just needed to tell you that his reference status has changed---he is no longer eligible for rehire. Federal law prohibits me from specifying the particulars behind why there's not a chance in hell we would allow Mr. Jones to work here ever again. Just thought I'd let you know. Which reminds me---and this is a completely different and unrelated topic that has nothing to do with the reason we won't allow Mr. Jones to work here ever again---do you have any knowledge of how to remove dead fish from a ventilation system? No? Just thought I'd ask. Well, best of luck!"

  • Better be nice (Score:5, Insightful)

    by dtfinch ( 661405 ) * on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @02:22AM (#10186663) Journal
    I've known _of_ employers who would offer a job but not follow through if the prospective employee was willing to dump their previous employer without notice.

    So, you say you're already employed?
    Yes, but I'm not very fond of the work

    So can you start immediately?

    Sorry, can't hire you.
    • Re:Better be nice (Score:5, Informative)

      by Feztaa ( 633745 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @04:33AM (#10187104) Homepage
      Been there, except it went more like this:

      "So, when can you start?"
      "Well, I have to give my current boss my two weeks notice"
      "Of course. I wouldn't hire you if you didn't."

      2 weeks later, my last day on the job was a friday, I had the weekend to myself, and I started work at the new place on a monday.
    • The scenario that you have just presented is something that I have personally dealt with..

      I had someone who applied to me for work and as I interviewed him, it became clear to me that he was quite good and I fully intended to recruit him.

      But towards the end of the interview when I asked him when he would be willing to join, he stated something along the lines that "sooner is better" since he wanted to slight those who were then employing him.

      I told him that I couldn't employ someone with that attitude an
  • by arcade ( 16638 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @02:46AM (#10186772) Homepage
    This will certainly burn some bridges, but if you think it's worth it - and that you are wroth it - then do it.

    Please remember, it's not a good thing to burn bridges at all if you're not outstanding at what you do - but if you're one of the most excellent people at our place, and you will be missed due to your skills, then it may be worth it.

    However, from your story - it seems that your workplace isn't very fond of you, and that it will be interpreted as sour grapes if you do anything. That will not be a good thing.

    Anyways, if by chance, you are a very productive, very well skilled person - then write up a letter on why you are leaving the company, why your direct superior is an asshole, and so forth. Tailor several letters. The one about your superior should be slipped to his superior. The one about other people should be slipped to their superiors. Make it perfectly clear why you are leaving the job - and make sure to let the real bosses know what work you've actually done that is very, very good.

    Normally, though. If it's you that do not fit in, don't play any pranks - just inform your boss that you're not happy with the work environment, and that you've found another place where your skills will be used properly. That you wish this would be the case at the place you're leaving - but that the situation wasn't working out.

    • If you write a letter that's like "My PHB is a flamming *sshole who smells like vomit, kills babies" - it will be dismissed, and thrown out. If you write a mature letter about why you are leaving, the company might actually enact some changes, making it more pleasant for other people who are there possibly who are in the same boat as you.
      Be constructive, mature and professional - you'll be bound to run into some of these folks again.

      Now having said that is it that your boss is malicious, and you want to

  • Give them a two weeks notice and use that two weeks to start taking the comments out of your code!

    Or make sure you have some hardware at home that belongs to them. If you're in good with certain people, you might get to keep it. I got to keep a laptop (dead now), an iPaq, and a pretty decent monitor that I had borrowed. Of course, I was laid off, maybe they we're trying to avoid an incident (it wasn't Friday, after all).
    • Give them a two weeks notice and use that two weeks to start taking the comments out of your code!

      Just because you no longer work there doesn't mean you're immune from lawsuits.

      $ cvs up -D "a fortnight ago"
      $ cvs ci -m "Undo Bob's lameass attempt at sabotage"
      $ Mail -s "need to initiate legal action" headlawyer
      yah, it was Bob, all fixed now

      And yes, "a fortnight ago" is a valid CVS time specification. (Probably grew out of people trying to follow that kind of advice... *grin*)

  • by Monkelectric ( 546685 ) <> on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @03:09AM (#10186841)
    Tech market is very bad, especially for guys like me who have pretty good resumes (I've been a sysadmin, programmer, consultant... people see my resume and they're like shit, we only need a programmer, not this other stuff). I was working at walmart, 12:00am to 9:00am 5 days a week. Worst schedule you can imagine. I used to work like a dog to "bust my freight" before like 4:00am. I'd clock out at 3:00 but keep working, clock in at 4:00am, then goto lunch for 3 hours -- of course at walmart they ILLEGALLY lock you into the building, so I would slip out the loading dock (no I don't feel bad about ripping off a company that locks its employees in).

    The worst thing I did... I worked in the shoe department (the worst department there is, even the janitors pitty you), this *HOT* girl is standing back towards me, looking at some shoes. As I walk by the says without looking at me, "What do you think of these ones?" to which I reply, "I'm sorry mam, for what occassion?" then it dawns on me she's probably flirting, and she says, "oh I thought you were my father, I'm sorry!" to which I reply, "Well, you never know ;-)" ... just as these words leave my lips a grumpy 50 year old man in overalls and a half shaved beard walks up behind me and says "I DON'T THINK SO SON!" Then it occurs to me the girl is more like 17 instead of 21. but oh well.

    Oh, topic ... um, so how I quit was, well nevermind it wasn't nearly as funny as that story.

    • by Peterl ( 39350 )
      If the market is so bad, why can't we find any programmers to hire who can pass a dead-simple programming test?
      • everyone is afraid to leave their current position because they think the new job will be even worse
      • Ae you targetting it to a specific language? If so, DON'T!

        If you issue a practical test, then do it in a completly made-up (or at least unknown) language (nothing arcane line Brainf*ck or anything though unless you are loking for infinitely hardcore people ;-)). Even if you just have the candidates write thier code, on paper, in english pseudocode, it would be better that than saying "in C, write this".

        Programming is a language-independant skill, do you want somebody who can show they program in this pa
  • Leave "gracefully" (Score:5, Interesting)

    by moanads ( 613115 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @03:29AM (#10186904)
    Look at it this way. Your company has allowed your boss to survive and maybe even flourish. You need to strike back and the only way you can do that is to conceal the truth. In your exit interview (if you do have one) don't say that you're leaving because of a PHB. Think up some other reason. If possible, praise your boss. That will mean that he'll be given more control in the company and will piss off more people, who will also leave. The people who leave will also share your opinion and that might indirectly make your boss unemployable in many other companies. They will also bad mouth your former employer wherever they go and that will make it difficult for your former employer to find replacements for the people who leave. At the very least, you will have the satisfaction that your former employer will have to look for more than one replacement after you leave. That's the best way to strike back at the environment which shelters PHBs.
  • Can you get a list of company email addresses? You know what to do. That pack rat next to you never clean up? Maybe a stinky piece of cheese or a dead rat stuck behind a wall plate will change his mind in a week or two. Office gossip? Return the favor. Tube of graphite in someone's new computer? Magnets in their monitor base? Get a photo and post them on a gay singles site. I think that's enough for now.
  • Don't be Juvenile (Score:5, Insightful)

    by fuzzybunny ( 112938 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @04:07AM (#10187028) Homepage Journal
    Discretely pack up your things and save any documentation or files you want to take along, and write a polite letter giving two weeks (or however much you agreed on) notice.

    Ask if "they" would like feedback, and write a list of what bugged you, what was good, and what could have been done better.

    Finish what you were working on if you can, offer to take care of any handover work, as you firmly should state that you will not be available for it after you have left.

    Don't burn bridges; it's not so much that these people might come back to haunt you someday, as that it's an adolescent thing to do.
    • Seeing as how the average workplace is more like high school than high school actually was, acting like an adolescent is often not wholly inappropriate.
      • the average workplace is more like high school than high school actually was

        We should get a slashdot discussion going for this topic alone if it hasn't already gotten one. I seem to have once again gotten myself stuck in the "acceptable geek that can get you out of a jam, but isn't really a 'cool' kid" role.

  • by eleknader ( 190211 ) <eleknader@ p h> on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @04:30AM (#10187095)
    Few years ago I was about to leave to another company and a position.

    I told my boss I was leaving, we started organizing my duties to my colleagues etc.

    Few days later I was told from my new employer, that my deal has just changed: completely different position. They told me this change by _email_!

    I was very happy, that I was nice to my old boss. He let me stay, and I worked about one year after this at my old job.

    So, I'd recommend being nice for your boss :)

  • by fm6 ( 162816 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @05:29AM (#10187286) Homepage Journal
    1. Do some kind of childish stunt. That might make you feel good for a while, but it won't convince your asshole boss that he treated you badly. In fact, he'll use your childishness to justify his assholedness. "You see why I was easing him out?"
    2. You can find some way to make upper management aware that you're leaving in part because your boss is an asshole. Think out that will make him look with his boss.
    That's the basic choice. I'm sure you can fill in the details yourself.
  • If so you can always leave your job the Homer Simpson way and play your boss's head like a bongo.
  • a lot of people here assume that 'style' means 'pissing of as many of your superiors and possibly cow-orkers as possible'.

    Try to go for something that everyone, including your boss (unless s/he is a real prick), will think 'wow. what a cool guy.'

    Unfortunately I can't think of anything that wouldn't just make 'em mad :)
  • The world is a lot smaller then you think and eventually whatever you do at this job will come back to haunt you. So unless you are independently wealthy and work for fun I would advise you to be professional and just turn in your notice and leave it at that. Making an ass out of yourself by doing something funny will only be a detriment later.
  • I know someone who is a major Pittsburgh Penguins fan and has been stuck in a miserable IT job for the last couple of years. He's finally been offered a position with another company so he also decided to leave in style. He gave one hour notice, went back to his cube, got dressed up in full Pittsburgh Penguin hockey gear including his inline skates and just began skating around the cube farm with a home-made Stanley Cup over his head.

    Don't ask me what his point was...... It was just funny to watch because

  • In the good old days the only way to communicate long distance was by telegram. Journalists used to send stories, and get instructions in this way. You got charged by the word, so a texting like short hand, called telegraphese developed. Some of the best telegrams reached the levels of poetry. My favourite one was actually a resignation letter, and it was just four words...

    "Up stuff job arsewise"

    If you're leaving a job, do so in style, my advice.


  • Take the high road (Score:2, Insightful)

    by codejnki ( 16214 )
    Be faithful and give your two weeks. Let them know that this new oprotunity will give you more room to grow than you've felt that your current working conditions will currently allow for. And for added bonus, bring in bagels or doughnuts on your last day. That my friend, is style.
  • by qwijibo ( 101731 )
    It may feel good to go out with a bang, but other than that, what's the point? Anything dramatic that you do will just reflect negatively on you. Not only with management, the people who are the butt of the joke, but with other coworkers that you have nothing against, some who you may even get along with.

    If those people who respect you know that you're leaving because of the BS environment, but you're still professional, give two weeks notice, etc, they may look you up in the future when they need someon
  • Before I start, it's worth noting that it's probably better advice to "take the high road" and not let their actions effect your professionalism.

    That being said, here is one time when I tried to break my own advice. Among the many problems that one company I worked for had was a "diversity program" that was nothing more than giving certain contracts or benifits to specific cultural/ethinic/social groups to the exclusion of anyone else. I decided that, when I left, I would have a little fun with that poli
  • After I was (honorably) discharged from the Army, I was working for a computer dealer until I could get a better job. They kept promising me a promotion if I would just stay with them. I kept hearing "give us a couple more weeks". In addition, my supervisor would come in every day and complain about how her husband doesn't want to have sex with her, she would berate me because I was "religously undecided", the owners would insult me because I was 23 years old and had graduated college yet, the technician
  • by theinfobox ( 188897 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @09:12AM (#10188156) Homepage Journal
    I doubt this is a true letter, but the friend I received it from swears it is true....
    Following is a supposed letter of resignation from an employee at a computer company, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards! It's Funny, but a bit harsh

    Dear Mr. Smith,
    As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

    Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

    You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

    You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

    1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

    2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

    3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

    Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!
  • by jbarr ( 2233 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @09:30AM (#10188242) Homepage
    It's an interesting dilema because of the unfortunate double-standard that exists: companies certainly won't hesitate to immediatly show you the door without any notice if THEY want to get rid of you, but you are "expected" to give them up to two or more weeks when YOU want to leave. Obviously, this is not compulsary, but it's highly traditional.

    It all really depends on your situation. The best bet is to not burn bridges because you never know when you may need the resources of the company or your colleagues in the future. Just come up with an equitable compromise.

    Remember that YOU are in the driver's seat. YOU are the one making the decision, not them. And stand by your decision--if they offer you more money or a promotion, absolutely turn it down and take the new job. Are really suddenly worth more to them now? Is staying really in your best interest? If you stay, it shows that you are not willing to stand by your word.

    Just don't be shocked if they ask you to leave immediatly.
  • You can get on the all-call on the phone system and pipe in the country-western classic "Take This Job & Shove It". I had a job I hated badly and had a hotkey for playing that song to make it expedient to do it when I was ready.

    In the end, I never did. Didn't want to burn any bridges. But it felt nice to have a fun plan ready for execution.
  • How I left (Score:2, Interesting)

    by wtom ( 619054 )
    I had a pretty nice job with a large, large company, I totally loved it the first three years - was "Sr. Network Support Analyst" - was responsible for about 400-500 seats among 3 facilities, as well as several other responsibilities that spanned our division (PC Security, head of the y2k effort on intel platforms, I did the division intranet, a few other things too), handled two big wiring projects at two of our facilities.

    We went through several mergers, where our division bought smaller (and one prett
  • by Fished ( 574624 ) <> on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @09:42AM (#10188337)
    When I've switched jobs (quite a bit in the 90's) I always insisted on getting a written letter of offer stating my salary etc. before I would say _ANYTHING_ to my currenty employer. Many people have been burned by moving to a new job, only to "discover" that the salary and benefits discussed were "talking points" and "accounting won't let us do that." With an offer letter, you can sue for all kinds of damages. Without one, you get butkis. I read a book on employment law a couple of years ago, and his remark was that, inevitably, the side with the biggest stack of paper wins.

    Also, I would strongly urge you not to quit "with style." What you call "with style" is really anything but. You should always try to maintain cordial and polite relationships with your former employer. Every job I've ever left, I've given a written letter of resignation, naming my last day (at least two weeks, sometimes more) and letting them know that I would be available free for "quick questions" on a short term basis to ease the transition. (I did not state, but implied, that if it was more than a "quick question" they should expect to pay me for my time.)

    In 2000, this served me well. I had just left a large Internet Company, and discovered the company I went with was going out of business after only two months. I went back to work for the Internet Company, got a pay raise and full-time telecommuting. And that's the job I've held for the past 4 years through a crappy economy while all the other geeks were whining about outsourcing.

    Bridges are good, a thing of utility and a thing of beauty. Never burn them unnecessarily.

  • by aminorex ( 141494 ) on Wednesday September 08, 2004 @11:51AM (#10189940) Homepage Journal
    Bring an AR-15 and a couple of SIGs to work. Wear BDUs, and a BIG knife. Sit down at the desk and just do your job. Smile at the receptionist.

    If anybody tries to stop you, just pull the bolt and frown at them.
  • Quit being redundant (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Proc6 ( 518858 ) on Thursday September 09, 2004 @01:30AM (#10198125)
    Okay, can we quit with the "take the high road", "don't be childish" posts. Yes, we all know thats the right thing to do, and after the first 50 it's plenty redundant so quit posting it.

    Now lets get on with funny ways people have, or have wanted to leave their jobs. Something interesting to read instead of 500 obvious "Do the right thing" posts.

  • by Billly Gates ( 198444 ) on Sunday September 12, 2004 @07:31PM (#10230713) Journal
    I have been mad and fired from many employers and understand the need to get angry.

    But leaving a job this way certainly is not good and makes you look worse than your boss you dont like.

    Why did your boss complain of your work style and you? Not pointing fingers here per say, but if he dislikes you and not your fellow employee's then the problem is not your boss but perhaps yourself.

    A new job wont fix that either.

    Sure personality conflicts happen all the time but the mature adult way is to find away around them. If its a boss then just leaving would be the proper way. If he is an asshole, HR will notice the turnover and fire him.

  • by mhollis ( 727905 ) on Wednesday September 15, 2004 @03:06PM (#10258913) Journal

    Insert obligatory statement on karma here

    A woman I know was "downsized" by a large newspaper corporation some years back after she got pregnant. Out of five groups, her group was the second in performance, so there was no justification other than that of her pregnancy.

    Her boss called her into his office and told her, after she took several hours off for a doctor's visit to get an amniocentisis, that "she had better get her priorities straight, and that when she decided her priorities, the manager would decide how valuable she was to the company."

    This matter is in litigation presently, with the United States EEOC well involved. The thing that is funny is that the company who let her go had an opportunity to offer some half a million in order to get her to drop her (very good and well-documented) case. Presently, the EEOC is suing the company for "an injunction requiring the [company] to abstain from discrimination. It also seeks back pay with interest and other 'affirmative relief ... including but not limited to reinstatement,' punitive damages and reimbursement of the commission's legal expenses." Since the EEOC is a federal commission, they have unlimited means to sue the company. Half a million will look very cheap when all of this is sorted out.

    Since she was let go in early 2001, they're looking at back pay that will total nearly half a million without any further damages, which will be considerable.

    My best advice, if you work for a company that commits "bad behaviors," keep a complete record of everything. It's a better bet than winning a lottery.

    In her case she did not burn any bridges. That would have been held against her in her case against the company.

What this country needs is a good five cent ANYTHING!